Top 10 Girls
I've made a bunch of lists in the past on my blog, covering a wide range of topics, but one major list I haven't posted is my top 10 hottest chicks. The main reason is, the list fluctuates a lot, and also, there's so many pretty ladies it's hard to narrow it down to just 10, without leaving someone out or forgetting someone. I probably sound like Ross in that one episode of Friends when he meets that one European celebrity after booting her off his list. But anyways, the comments in my last blog inspired me to finally buckle down, commit to a current list and post it for reference.
* Disclaimer: It might make me look superficial to be doing this, but please do not take this list too seriously and bash me for objectifying women.
10. Jennifer Aniston - I think I might be weird in this way, but there's a special place in my heart for nice female arms, and she has nice arms. Oh, her face and the rest of her body aren't too shabby either.
9. Heidi Klum - I like rosy cheeks too. Maybe it's just how she does her makeup, but in my view, that is the main characteristic that sets her apart from the others on this list.
8. Beyonce - Recently moved into the top 10. Before, I didn't think I was ready for that jelly, her body was so bootylicious.
7. Jennifer Lopez - Annoying as hell, but you gotta admit that she's top 10 worthy.
6. Aaliyah - Wasn't sure if I should include her, considering she's not even alive anymore, but I was always a huge admirer. Perhaps if she didn't die in the plane crash, she would be top 5. I don't know how the rules of my own list work.
5. Leann Tweeden - I don't know where she came from, but mostly I just see her hosting this one show on Fox Sports for extreme sports or something. I'm surprised she isn't on more guys' lists, cause she is definitely good.
4. Kristin Kreuk - She makes me want to watch Smallville and buy Neutrogena. However, I still don't do either. Sorry Kristin.
3. Posh Spice - Two words: SPICE-AY
2. Jessica Alba - Hmmm... looking at my top 10, I notice that 3 are married and one is dead. Yet, this has zero impact on the odds of me ever getting to date any of them.
1. Macy Gray - She's tasty and smokin fine!! Just kidding, again. That joke will get old eventually. Anyways, I'm sure you all knew all along the real #1 was gonna be...
1. Britney Spears - No doubt about this one. She has been #1 unofficially for the past 5 years or so. She's got that something, what can I do? By the way, check out the following site, it is intriguing and somewhat unsettling at the same time: http://mirrored.flabber.nl/britney.lookalike
*****
One thing about the list, there are noticably no Asians included, even though I have seen more than a few good looking yellow celebrities from my time spent across the Pacific that would have easily made my list. The reason I didn't list them is because 1) I don't know their names and 2) Nobody would know who I was talking about anyways.
It makes me sad that there are basically no truly good looking Asian chicks in American culture, because I have an Asian fetish. har har. Seriously though, the only one everyone always says is Lucy Liu, is that the best you can do? I guess she's not entirely horrible, especially compared to the other poor showings like Suchin Pak, Kristi Yamaguchi, and Lisa Ling (ruff ruff!), but I don't see how you could consider her to be pretty. Eyes way too chinky for my taste, among other things. She does salvage some points for being a fellow freckled Asian like me, but that is relatively minor.
So come on, Asia, where you at? I know you got more talent than what we're seeing over here. For starters, it's common knowledge that Taiwan alone is stocked to the core with the most beautiful people in the world, but we're just talking a tiny island here, out of an entire continent. What about Korea, I know there's more good old fashioned hotness like Hyori from Fin.K.L or Kim Hee Sun out there. Sung Hi Lee is a start, but a little too slutty. For whatever reason, Asia's just not representing all of its best over here, what can you do?
*****
At least Illinois and Arizona college basketball fans have one thing in common: we all hate Duke. The latest reason being high school recruit Shaun Livingston's decision to choose Duke over Illinois and Arizona. I've been requested by a certain Wildcats fan to relay the following message in my blog: "Livingston is a turd".
*****
Triumph the Insult Dog has an album now, called "Come Poop With Me". His first single is "I Keed" and it is pretty funny. I think I will have to pick up a copy of the CD sometime soon. For more, see http://www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com
Friday, November 07, 2003
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Thoughts of a Old Home Video Watcher, and more
- Over the weekend when I was home in Darien, my family was watching some old home videos from the year we lived in Taiwan (1995). It really is amazing to see how much has changed in the past 8 or 9 years of my life. Physically, I was a 5 foot tall boy with a high voice and these huge nerdy glasses. It was my freshman year of high school at Taipei American School (TAS), and I was taking classes like Japanese 1 and Introduction to Computer Programming with Quick BASIC 4.5, taught by Mr. Paulson. In my free time, I would take the bus to the area in Taipei where all the pirated computer stuff was being sold at the time and hang out there, or go to the arcade and play Daytona USA for hours. I lived in this tiny room with no more than a desk, closet, bed, and computer, with my only source of entertainment being a mini basketball hoop. Now that I think about it, I still live in a tiny room with just a desk, closet, bed, and computer. The only thing is, I have no mini-basketball hoop, but I do have a TV.
Meanwhile, my sister was this bratty but interesting little kid, who liked to sing the jingle from the Taiwanese commercial for Juicy Fruit gum (OK I'll admit, I liked to sing it too). She was always getting yelled at by my mom for everything from not studying enough to eating too much junk food. I remember she even used to get yelled at because my mom didn't like her wasting time twirling her pen. Also, she was obsessed with Mariah Carey and had a crush on a guy named Mark at school.
Anyways, enough about that, I'm sure nobody cares to read about more of my old experiences. But I do wish that I had kept a blog or journal from back then, that I could go back and read about life through the eyes of 15-year old Joe. Hopefully, this blog I'm writing in right now will last for a long time, and I'll be able to someday come back and read about life through the eyes of 23-year old Joe.
- Another thought that struck me after watching the old videos was, how long time seemed to drag on back then. It was only about one year I lived in Taiwan, but I remember it as feeling like forever. Now, I've been at this company for over a year, and it honestly feels like the year passed in no more than the blink of an eye. When we first moved back, we had to stay at the house of our family friends for one semester school until we bought a place of our own. That also felt like a really long time, but semesters seemed to just fly by in college. Then I see the people here at work who are celebrating like 40 years of service, and I wonder if those 40 years felt like 40 years. Like, can they go back and identify any individual year and talk about what was so special about each year? Or does it all run together like one big blurry chunk of life experience?
I mean, most of us at this age can look back and pretty clearly define the different stages throughout their lives in 2-3 year blocks of time. Such as going through puberty, being a high school underclassman, when you wore braces, the rebellious stage, the awkward stage, etc. I know I could probably pretty easily tell you about each stage of my life in pretty good detail. But, how are we going to define the next 40 years of our lives? Will our 2-3 year long stages be stretched out to 5-10 year divisions? Is it simply going to be "twenty-something", then "thirty-something", and so on? And other than scattered big events that happen only once every few years, like getting married and having kids, changing jobs and moving, or retirement, what is actually going to distinguish one year from the next, during the rest of our lives?
- This morning while eating my daily cereal, I watched some of Star Wars Episode 2 which was showing on HBO. It reminded me of how terrible that kid is who plays Anakin Skywalker. Not that the acting in the originals was that great ("But I wanted to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters!!"), but how do you pair up the glorious Natalie Portman with that chump? It's just wrong...
- We should play football sometime soon. I probably can't this Saturday, but hopefully we'll be able to figure out a time that works for people in the near future, because I'm getting out of shape and I feel like playing. If anyone wants to get people together, feel free to do so, otherwise, you can all just let me know when would be a good day and I can try to set up a game. It should be easier than organizing softball, because we don't need as many people and equipment. So let's do it.
- Over the weekend when I was home in Darien, my family was watching some old home videos from the year we lived in Taiwan (1995). It really is amazing to see how much has changed in the past 8 or 9 years of my life. Physically, I was a 5 foot tall boy with a high voice and these huge nerdy glasses. It was my freshman year of high school at Taipei American School (TAS), and I was taking classes like Japanese 1 and Introduction to Computer Programming with Quick BASIC 4.5, taught by Mr. Paulson. In my free time, I would take the bus to the area in Taipei where all the pirated computer stuff was being sold at the time and hang out there, or go to the arcade and play Daytona USA for hours. I lived in this tiny room with no more than a desk, closet, bed, and computer, with my only source of entertainment being a mini basketball hoop. Now that I think about it, I still live in a tiny room with just a desk, closet, bed, and computer. The only thing is, I have no mini-basketball hoop, but I do have a TV.
Meanwhile, my sister was this bratty but interesting little kid, who liked to sing the jingle from the Taiwanese commercial for Juicy Fruit gum (OK I'll admit, I liked to sing it too). She was always getting yelled at by my mom for everything from not studying enough to eating too much junk food. I remember she even used to get yelled at because my mom didn't like her wasting time twirling her pen. Also, she was obsessed with Mariah Carey and had a crush on a guy named Mark at school.
Anyways, enough about that, I'm sure nobody cares to read about more of my old experiences. But I do wish that I had kept a blog or journal from back then, that I could go back and read about life through the eyes of 15-year old Joe. Hopefully, this blog I'm writing in right now will last for a long time, and I'll be able to someday come back and read about life through the eyes of 23-year old Joe.
- Another thought that struck me after watching the old videos was, how long time seemed to drag on back then. It was only about one year I lived in Taiwan, but I remember it as feeling like forever. Now, I've been at this company for over a year, and it honestly feels like the year passed in no more than the blink of an eye. When we first moved back, we had to stay at the house of our family friends for one semester school until we bought a place of our own. That also felt like a really long time, but semesters seemed to just fly by in college. Then I see the people here at work who are celebrating like 40 years of service, and I wonder if those 40 years felt like 40 years. Like, can they go back and identify any individual year and talk about what was so special about each year? Or does it all run together like one big blurry chunk of life experience?
I mean, most of us at this age can look back and pretty clearly define the different stages throughout their lives in 2-3 year blocks of time. Such as going through puberty, being a high school underclassman, when you wore braces, the rebellious stage, the awkward stage, etc. I know I could probably pretty easily tell you about each stage of my life in pretty good detail. But, how are we going to define the next 40 years of our lives? Will our 2-3 year long stages be stretched out to 5-10 year divisions? Is it simply going to be "twenty-something", then "thirty-something", and so on? And other than scattered big events that happen only once every few years, like getting married and having kids, changing jobs and moving, or retirement, what is actually going to distinguish one year from the next, during the rest of our lives?
- This morning while eating my daily cereal, I watched some of Star Wars Episode 2 which was showing on HBO. It reminded me of how terrible that kid is who plays Anakin Skywalker. Not that the acting in the originals was that great ("But I wanted to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters!!"), but how do you pair up the glorious Natalie Portman with that chump? It's just wrong...
- We should play football sometime soon. I probably can't this Saturday, but hopefully we'll be able to figure out a time that works for people in the near future, because I'm getting out of shape and I feel like playing. If anyone wants to get people together, feel free to do so, otherwise, you can all just let me know when would be a good day and I can try to set up a game. It should be easier than organizing softball, because we don't need as many people and equipment. So let's do it.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Fantasy Football Talk
It has now been about 2 months since my most recent loss (in a long string of losses) to Dave Chan in fantasy football. My all-time record against him stands at 0-8. Nevertheless, as our next matchup approaches this coming Sunday, I remain hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this will finally be the week that I break the curse. Also, not that beating Dave isn't important enough in itself, but the fantasy implications are big for me too. A win would put my team in a tie for 3rd and keep my season's hopes alive. A loss, probably put me in 7th and out of any realistic shot at contending for this year. Not to mention, I gotta wait until next season for another shot at breaking the curse. GO DUDALISKS! DON'T SEND ME HOME CRYING YET AGAIN!
Decision time (need to pick 4 of the following):
Santana Moss (@Oak)
Andre Johnson (@Cin)
T.J. Duckett (@NYG)
Olandis Gary (Chi)
Moe Williams (@SD)
Darrell Jackson (@Was)
Rod Gardner (Sea)
Justin Gage (@Det)
My thoughts on the situation:
I'm pretty sure I'll start Santana Moss, based on his performance and the BET factor. The Moe Williams story is a little bit spicy because Michael Bennett is being phased back from his injury, and Dave happens to be starting him against me. So, I could either start Moe and hope for some "kick in the balls" factor if he steals goal-line TDs from Bennett, or just avoid gambling on the situation and start someone else. Considering all the bad luck I've had in the past matchups, I'm leaning towards the latter.
Olandis and Gage are probably the weakest starts of that list, but I'm tempted to start them so I can watch my players on the local Bears game broadcast. I figure, if my players are gonna suck, I might as well watch them suck and be able throw stuff at the TV in anger. Also, I like Justin Gage's name. "Enemy approaching... what are your orders, General?" "Just In-Gage!!" harharhar
Other than that, I think Andre's Johnsons, T.J. Suckett, D-Jax, and Prod Gardner are pretty much a toss up. I'll probably end up making my decision by picking 4 names out of a hat. Seriously.
I might have to make a decision on my 3 defense guys too:
Brian Urlacher (@Det)
Roy Williams (Buf)
Ken Hamlin (@Was)
Derrick Brooks (Car)
Simeon Rice (Car)
I used to think Urlacher was a must-start, but he hasn't done jack for me this year. Too busy making crappy commercials, wearing his orange shoes, and dating Paris Hilton, I guess. How do you sleep at night, Brian, knowing that you are letting me down? "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies"
Realistically, I will probably still start Urlacher, even with his mediocre play this season and knowing that he always gets owned by Cory Schlesinger. Roy will also probably start, and Hamlin is pretty much a non-factor at this point. So that leaves Derrick and Simeon Rice for the last spot. Derrick should get more tackles and would add another "kick in the balls" factor against Dave, with the McNown league history and all. But then again, Simeon Rice went to Playa University. The guy is averaging about a sack per game, and might be ready to bust out with some more big plays this week.
It has now been about 2 months since my most recent loss (in a long string of losses) to Dave Chan in fantasy football. My all-time record against him stands at 0-8. Nevertheless, as our next matchup approaches this coming Sunday, I remain hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this will finally be the week that I break the curse. Also, not that beating Dave isn't important enough in itself, but the fantasy implications are big for me too. A win would put my team in a tie for 3rd and keep my season's hopes alive. A loss, probably put me in 7th and out of any realistic shot at contending for this year. Not to mention, I gotta wait until next season for another shot at breaking the curse. GO DUDALISKS! DON'T SEND ME HOME CRYING YET AGAIN!
Decision time (need to pick 4 of the following):
Santana Moss (@Oak)
Andre Johnson (@Cin)
T.J. Duckett (@NYG)
Olandis Gary (Chi)
Moe Williams (@SD)
Darrell Jackson (@Was)
Rod Gardner (Sea)
Justin Gage (@Det)
My thoughts on the situation:
I'm pretty sure I'll start Santana Moss, based on his performance and the BET factor. The Moe Williams story is a little bit spicy because Michael Bennett is being phased back from his injury, and Dave happens to be starting him against me. So, I could either start Moe and hope for some "kick in the balls" factor if he steals goal-line TDs from Bennett, or just avoid gambling on the situation and start someone else. Considering all the bad luck I've had in the past matchups, I'm leaning towards the latter.
Olandis and Gage are probably the weakest starts of that list, but I'm tempted to start them so I can watch my players on the local Bears game broadcast. I figure, if my players are gonna suck, I might as well watch them suck and be able throw stuff at the TV in anger. Also, I like Justin Gage's name. "Enemy approaching... what are your orders, General?" "Just In-Gage!!" harharhar
Other than that, I think Andre's Johnsons, T.J. Suckett, D-Jax, and Prod Gardner are pretty much a toss up. I'll probably end up making my decision by picking 4 names out of a hat. Seriously.
I might have to make a decision on my 3 defense guys too:
Brian Urlacher (@Det)
Roy Williams (Buf)
Ken Hamlin (@Was)
Derrick Brooks (Car)
Simeon Rice (Car)
I used to think Urlacher was a must-start, but he hasn't done jack for me this year. Too busy making crappy commercials, wearing his orange shoes, and dating Paris Hilton, I guess. How do you sleep at night, Brian, knowing that you are letting me down? "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies"
Realistically, I will probably still start Urlacher, even with his mediocre play this season and knowing that he always gets owned by Cory Schlesinger. Roy will also probably start, and Hamlin is pretty much a non-factor at this point. So that leaves Derrick and Simeon Rice for the last spot. Derrick should get more tackles and would add another "kick in the balls" factor against Dave, with the McNown league history and all. But then again, Simeon Rice went to Playa University. The guy is averaging about a sack per game, and might be ready to bust out with some more big plays this week.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Top: First pair of glasses I ever had. Large, plastic, nerdy, but durable
Middle: Forgot to mention this pair in my original blog, but Piya's basketball story reminded me. Notice one side is broken off and there is a big blob of superglue that was obviously not enough to keep it connected to the rest.
Bottom: The soldered pair I talked about, broke at the bridge.
It was Olivia's bday on Friday and I have a couple people to thank for helping me out. First, thanks to Vira for going with me to get her gift a few weeks ago. I hate shopping alone and I have bad taste in picking out stuff so I appreciate it a lot. Second, thanks to Dennis for consulting his local "food people connections" to recommend a restaurant. We ended up going to Chicago Prime Steakhouse in Schaumburg and it was pretty good, I'd recommend it to anyone who likes steak. The filet mignon (Olivia's order) seemed to be a little better than the prime (mine), but both were satisfying.
Anyways, I told Olivia that she should be nice to all of my friends, if for no other reason than the fact that they are the ones who end up choosing what she gets for her birthdays, Christmas, etc., and stuff like that.
I was listening to the radio one time and someone was saying that guys should never get on their girlfriend's friends' bad sides. Because, when she goes out with her friends, they are the ones who will either keep her in check and loyal to you, or encourage her to dance and flirt with other guys. I guess I never thought about it much in that way, but it seems to make sense. Note to self: don't piss off girlfriend's friends.
Happy birthday wishes also go to Piya, Linda, and anyone else I might be missing. Dang, we're all getting so old. People buying houses and getting married and everything.
I think the best meal I have ever had (hopefully my mom doesn't read my blog) was a couple months ago at Bob Chinn's, with a steak and crab leg combo. The main reason it was so good is because I was so hungry beforehand, and it filled me up to the point where I was full enough, but not miserable, Yen-ching buffet style full.
For Halloween, I bought a couple bags of candy to give out to trick-or-treaters. Only about 2 groups of kids came to trick-or-treat at the townhouse, so if anyone likes Nerds or Butterfinger BB's, come on out to Palatine and get some. I'll even give you two, if you have a cool costume.
My brain is especially scattered on this Monday morning, hence the preceding part of this blog was not very good or organized. I'm gonna post something I wrote in more clear-headed moments, a collection of my major thoughts on friendship. It's an important subject, of course, as there are few things more valuable in life than having good friends. I started writing down these things a long time ago, and then added stuff once in a while whenever I thought of something to add. I don't know that it captures all my thoughts completely, but I think it's about as close to complete as it will ever be, so here it is.
*****
Expectations Of Friends
I think one area of my life where I've always had low expectations is friends. Basically, as long as we have some things in common, can carry a good conversation and have a good time hanging out together, then I'll be more than happy to have you as a friend.
The fact is, I don't need my friends to buy me gifts or do stuff on my birthday. I don't expect them to listen to me talk about my problems and be supportive (I'm not a woman, anyways). I don't expect them to put me ahead of their girlfriends/boyfriends to chill with me all the time. If I see a friend every day, or once a year, I consider them a good friend either way.
If we go out to eat, and you shortchange me on the bill once in a while, I usually don't sweat it. If we go out a lot, and you never buy me a drink, that's fine too. If you leave the bar without saying bye to me, I won't cry. If you don't return my email, my voicemail, or ignore me on IM, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt 90% of the time. I rarely worry about the little things. And if you need a favor, I'll always try my best to be there to drive you to the airport, loan you $20, or help you move out, without ever expecting anything in return.
As I make myself sound like a god, I really have to say that overall, I don't think it's hard at all to be friends with me. I have pretty low expectations, and honestly, if you happen to exceed any of the things I mentioned above (as most of my friends do), I always appreciate it that much more, and I consider it a bonus. So I'd say that as a result, I've been happy with pretty much all of my friendships, past and present.
However, I can't say that I have no expectations of my friends at all. There are still things that do bother me, and I take them seriously. For example, if you act fake towards me, I'll spot it right away and it will annoy the hell out of me. There's not a lot of things I hate more than people who aren't real with themselves and with me. The way I see it, a fake smile is worse than no smile at all. An insincere handshake is so insulting. And acting one way in front of some people, and a completely different way in front of others, that's pretty shady too.
If you talk behind my back, or talk about my friends behind their backs, tread carefully. The thing is, I can actually tolerate a little of that stuff, to some point. It's understood that everyone likes to spread some harmless gossip or complain about their friends once in a while, even though I try to avoid doing that stuff myself. But there is a line between what is harmless and what is not. If you let the unnecessary talking get out of hand, you will lose me as a friend.
If you have a problem with me, you should just tell it to my face. If it's unresolvable and we can't be friends, then the friendship wasn't worth it anyways. I'd rather have no friend at all, than one who just acts like they are my friend. Don't be a pussy and only talk smack to other people, what is that supposed to accomplish?
If I happen to "diss" you for whatever reason when you ask me to hang out, don't give me a hard time about it. That's just annoying. Because I don't make you feel bad when you tell me "no". Like I said before, I wouldn't take it personally if you chose to hang out with your gf/bf instead of me, or had other plans already. Or if you were too tired to do anything. Or you were just in a bad mood. Or it was just inconvenient. So what right do you have to get pissy if it was me in those situations? The answer is: none whatsoever.
If you are extremely selfish and/or self-centered, I can only handle that kind of attitude to a certain point. When you turn every little thing into a huge drama, you need to chill and get over yourself. It's time to realize that no, the world does not revolve around you and it's stupid to take every single thing personally. When something doesn't go your way, it doesn't mean the world is against you.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm not directing these thoughts to any one individual. Hopefully no one gets "med-student syndrome" and automatically starts thinking that all these things apply to them. It's mainly a collection of thoughts I've gathered from either personal experience or observing other people's lives. Mostly, I wanted to think seriously for a moment about what is important to me in friendships and what is not, and write it down somewhere.
And I know I'm not a perfect friend myself, but if anyone spots any of these things in me, do let me know so I can try to change. Because anything I expect out of my friends, I should expect just as much out of myself, if not more. And really, that's all I ask of people. Hold yourself to the same set of standards that you hold others to, stricter if at all possible. The world would be such a nicer, friendlier place if people could just do that.
Anyways, I told Olivia that she should be nice to all of my friends, if for no other reason than the fact that they are the ones who end up choosing what she gets for her birthdays, Christmas, etc., and stuff like that.
I was listening to the radio one time and someone was saying that guys should never get on their girlfriend's friends' bad sides. Because, when she goes out with her friends, they are the ones who will either keep her in check and loyal to you, or encourage her to dance and flirt with other guys. I guess I never thought about it much in that way, but it seems to make sense. Note to self: don't piss off girlfriend's friends.
Happy birthday wishes also go to Piya, Linda, and anyone else I might be missing. Dang, we're all getting so old. People buying houses and getting married and everything.
I think the best meal I have ever had (hopefully my mom doesn't read my blog) was a couple months ago at Bob Chinn's, with a steak and crab leg combo. The main reason it was so good is because I was so hungry beforehand, and it filled me up to the point where I was full enough, but not miserable, Yen-ching buffet style full.
For Halloween, I bought a couple bags of candy to give out to trick-or-treaters. Only about 2 groups of kids came to trick-or-treat at the townhouse, so if anyone likes Nerds or Butterfinger BB's, come on out to Palatine and get some. I'll even give you two, if you have a cool costume.
My brain is especially scattered on this Monday morning, hence the preceding part of this blog was not very good or organized. I'm gonna post something I wrote in more clear-headed moments, a collection of my major thoughts on friendship. It's an important subject, of course, as there are few things more valuable in life than having good friends. I started writing down these things a long time ago, and then added stuff once in a while whenever I thought of something to add. I don't know that it captures all my thoughts completely, but I think it's about as close to complete as it will ever be, so here it is.
*****
Expectations Of Friends
I think one area of my life where I've always had low expectations is friends. Basically, as long as we have some things in common, can carry a good conversation and have a good time hanging out together, then I'll be more than happy to have you as a friend.
The fact is, I don't need my friends to buy me gifts or do stuff on my birthday. I don't expect them to listen to me talk about my problems and be supportive (I'm not a woman, anyways). I don't expect them to put me ahead of their girlfriends/boyfriends to chill with me all the time. If I see a friend every day, or once a year, I consider them a good friend either way.
If we go out to eat, and you shortchange me on the bill once in a while, I usually don't sweat it. If we go out a lot, and you never buy me a drink, that's fine too. If you leave the bar without saying bye to me, I won't cry. If you don't return my email, my voicemail, or ignore me on IM, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt 90% of the time. I rarely worry about the little things. And if you need a favor, I'll always try my best to be there to drive you to the airport, loan you $20, or help you move out, without ever expecting anything in return.
As I make myself sound like a god, I really have to say that overall, I don't think it's hard at all to be friends with me. I have pretty low expectations, and honestly, if you happen to exceed any of the things I mentioned above (as most of my friends do), I always appreciate it that much more, and I consider it a bonus. So I'd say that as a result, I've been happy with pretty much all of my friendships, past and present.
However, I can't say that I have no expectations of my friends at all. There are still things that do bother me, and I take them seriously. For example, if you act fake towards me, I'll spot it right away and it will annoy the hell out of me. There's not a lot of things I hate more than people who aren't real with themselves and with me. The way I see it, a fake smile is worse than no smile at all. An insincere handshake is so insulting. And acting one way in front of some people, and a completely different way in front of others, that's pretty shady too.
If you talk behind my back, or talk about my friends behind their backs, tread carefully. The thing is, I can actually tolerate a little of that stuff, to some point. It's understood that everyone likes to spread some harmless gossip or complain about their friends once in a while, even though I try to avoid doing that stuff myself. But there is a line between what is harmless and what is not. If you let the unnecessary talking get out of hand, you will lose me as a friend.
If you have a problem with me, you should just tell it to my face. If it's unresolvable and we can't be friends, then the friendship wasn't worth it anyways. I'd rather have no friend at all, than one who just acts like they are my friend. Don't be a pussy and only talk smack to other people, what is that supposed to accomplish?
If I happen to "diss" you for whatever reason when you ask me to hang out, don't give me a hard time about it. That's just annoying. Because I don't make you feel bad when you tell me "no". Like I said before, I wouldn't take it personally if you chose to hang out with your gf/bf instead of me, or had other plans already. Or if you were too tired to do anything. Or you were just in a bad mood. Or it was just inconvenient. So what right do you have to get pissy if it was me in those situations? The answer is: none whatsoever.
If you are extremely selfish and/or self-centered, I can only handle that kind of attitude to a certain point. When you turn every little thing into a huge drama, you need to chill and get over yourself. It's time to realize that no, the world does not revolve around you and it's stupid to take every single thing personally. When something doesn't go your way, it doesn't mean the world is against you.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm not directing these thoughts to any one individual. Hopefully no one gets "med-student syndrome" and automatically starts thinking that all these things apply to them. It's mainly a collection of thoughts I've gathered from either personal experience or observing other people's lives. Mostly, I wanted to think seriously for a moment about what is important to me in friendships and what is not, and write it down somewhere.
And I know I'm not a perfect friend myself, but if anyone spots any of these things in me, do let me know so I can try to change. Because anything I expect out of my friends, I should expect just as much out of myself, if not more. And really, that's all I ask of people. Hold yourself to the same set of standards that you hold others to, stricter if at all possible. The world would be such a nicer, friendlier place if people could just do that.
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