Favorite Pickup Lines
In case some of ladies or gents out there need a little prodding or starting point to find yourself a man/woman, here are a few recommendations. However, I take no responsibility if you get laughed at or slapped. (By the way, I didn't come up with any of these. This is just a collection of my favorites out of all the ones I've heard, the relatively clean ones at least)
- If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
- Good thing I brought by library card, cause I'm CHECKING YOU OUT!!
- If I had a soccer ball, would you kick it with me? (Hint: works on more than one level if you actually play soccer)
- Are you part Jamaican? Cause JAMAICAN me crazy for you!
- Did you just eat some Campbell's Soup? You're lookin "mmm mmm Good..."
- Your dad must be a baker, cause those are some really nice buns...
- You remind me of my speeding tickets cause you got FINE written all over you (yes... and I have quite a few speeding tickets)
- Do you like chips? Cause I'm Frito Lay...
- Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
- I wish I knew the Pythagorean Theorem, cause you got all the right angles (I do know the Pythagorean Theorem... muahaha)
Of course, I would never use any of these myself except on Olivia. Too bad I got like half of them from her so that wouldn't work too well.
Monday, September 30, 2002
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Commenting
Ok, we'll see how this thing works. Thanks to Scott's hookup, I signed up for this thing that will let people comment on my blogs. It's pretty simple, click on the "Comment" link and a window will pop-up. If you leave comments, I will respond if appropriate, otherwise, I don't mind if you just want to read my blogs anonymously and snicker at how nerdy I am. Ideally, I would rather get an occasional message from a wide variety of people so there will be lots of different opinions, etc. You could even leave a message with a fake name, it's all good. But if it turns out that my fears are true, and only 1 or 2 people actually read my blog, then I will deal with it, I won't cry. The only thing is, don't be annoying and leave obnoxious messages. I don't want to have to remove the Comments feature some day down the road, that would be pretty sad if I had to.
If you have a blog and want to add the Comments feature, click on the "Haloscan" link on the side. There's not much around that is free anymore, but Blogspot and Haloscan deserve props for providing a pretty solid service without charging. I am seriously considering upgrade to Blogspot Plus but we'll see if that happens. But yeah, you actually can add the Comments feature without adding the button to link to Haloscan, I just thought it was nice that they didn't just force it on me:
"Step 3: (Optional)
We would appreciate it if you could place a link to us somewhere on your page. The following code will result in a button-link like what you see on the right hand side of this page (just copy and paste the code anywhere in your page): "
That's what they wrote, nice of them to ask, eh? Politeness works with me, and you see that I did indeed add their button to my Links. A Chinese saying goes "Li-duo, ren bu guai" which translated basically says that nobody would ever fault you for having too much manners. That's true, to a point. If you idolize Miss Manners or Martha Stewart, I would fault you for having no life.
Ok, this was supposed to be a short post but as always I managed to make it longer than it should've been. Feel free to leave me some comments now. (Nice, I like saying that)
Ok, we'll see how this thing works. Thanks to Scott's hookup, I signed up for this thing that will let people comment on my blogs. It's pretty simple, click on the "Comment" link and a window will pop-up. If you leave comments, I will respond if appropriate, otherwise, I don't mind if you just want to read my blogs anonymously and snicker at how nerdy I am. Ideally, I would rather get an occasional message from a wide variety of people so there will be lots of different opinions, etc. You could even leave a message with a fake name, it's all good. But if it turns out that my fears are true, and only 1 or 2 people actually read my blog, then I will deal with it, I won't cry. The only thing is, don't be annoying and leave obnoxious messages. I don't want to have to remove the Comments feature some day down the road, that would be pretty sad if I had to.
If you have a blog and want to add the Comments feature, click on the "Haloscan" link on the side. There's not much around that is free anymore, but Blogspot and Haloscan deserve props for providing a pretty solid service without charging. I am seriously considering upgrade to Blogspot Plus but we'll see if that happens. But yeah, you actually can add the Comments feature without adding the button to link to Haloscan, I just thought it was nice that they didn't just force it on me:
"Step 3: (Optional)
We would appreciate it if you could place a link to us somewhere on your page. The following code will result in a button-link like what you see on the right hand side of this page (just copy and paste the code anywhere in your page): "
That's what they wrote, nice of them to ask, eh? Politeness works with me, and you see that I did indeed add their button to my Links. A Chinese saying goes "Li-duo, ren bu guai" which translated basically says that nobody would ever fault you for having too much manners. That's true, to a point. If you idolize Miss Manners or Martha Stewart, I would fault you for having no life.
Ok, this was supposed to be a short post but as always I managed to make it longer than it should've been. Feel free to leave me some comments now. (Nice, I like saying that)
Good Stuff
The past couple of days, 2 especially good things happened. First, I woke up and found that this canker sore that's been bothering me for days is all but subsided. Second, I heard back from last friday's interview, and they are giving me a job offer! (exclamation mark sighting)
It's the first time I have actually been offered a job, I don't know how exactly to react. When I got my job at Jewel in high school, they basically called me in to "interview," asked me a couple questions like "do you steal?" and "wanna work here?", then they told me to show up on Monday for training. Not really a true "job offer" by any means.
So people who know me well probably know how they don't see me excited very often. I may not always show it, but certain things do make me happy and excited, and this was definitely one of them. It's the best piece of news I have heard in a really long time, I don't think I was really all that excited even when I got accepted into college or got my SAT/GRE scores back.
Some may be wondering about details:
Company: Northrop Grumman - One of the major corporations in the aerospace field supplying the nation's defense with fighter jets and tech components. Others in the industry include Boeing, Raytheon, and Lockheed Martin. It's a big company based in Baltimore, but I will be working in the Electronic Systems division.
Location: Rolling Meadows, IL - About an hour drive during rush hour from my house, it's maybe 5 minutes north of Woodfield Mall. This is one of the best things about this job, that I get to stay in the Chicagoland area. I don't know if I will have to eventually move to live closer, but for now I will live at home and see how it goes from there. I visited their facility for the interview, and it is like a miniature city in there.
Start Date: 10/7/02 - Tentatively scheduled for the Monday following the next. That gives me a week and a half to get ready. I might need to buy some shirts and pants or something. Most of all, I will need to get a car so that I don't have to drive the minivan up and down 355 every day.
Overall, I'm really happy with how this all worked out. The job sounds actually pretty cool, I will get to work on a lot of different projects so I'll be exposed to a wide range of things, not exclusively focused in software or hardware. At the interview, I met with about 6-7 people and most of them seemed cool. I didn't notice a lot of people my age there, but I am pretty sure they are around and I will meet people who are under 30. I hear that the employees like to play softball too, that would be pretty sweet.
Hopefully when I get the chance, I will get to post some more in depth thoughts about the whole experience, from graduation, to working for my dad, to where I am now. I'm sure you are all dying to read another long, drawn out sappy entry.
The past couple of days, 2 especially good things happened. First, I woke up and found that this canker sore that's been bothering me for days is all but subsided. Second, I heard back from last friday's interview, and they are giving me a job offer! (exclamation mark sighting)
It's the first time I have actually been offered a job, I don't know how exactly to react. When I got my job at Jewel in high school, they basically called me in to "interview," asked me a couple questions like "do you steal?" and "wanna work here?", then they told me to show up on Monday for training. Not really a true "job offer" by any means.
So people who know me well probably know how they don't see me excited very often. I may not always show it, but certain things do make me happy and excited, and this was definitely one of them. It's the best piece of news I have heard in a really long time, I don't think I was really all that excited even when I got accepted into college or got my SAT/GRE scores back.
Some may be wondering about details:
Company: Northrop Grumman - One of the major corporations in the aerospace field supplying the nation's defense with fighter jets and tech components. Others in the industry include Boeing, Raytheon, and Lockheed Martin. It's a big company based in Baltimore, but I will be working in the Electronic Systems division.
Location: Rolling Meadows, IL - About an hour drive during rush hour from my house, it's maybe 5 minutes north of Woodfield Mall. This is one of the best things about this job, that I get to stay in the Chicagoland area. I don't know if I will have to eventually move to live closer, but for now I will live at home and see how it goes from there. I visited their facility for the interview, and it is like a miniature city in there.
Start Date: 10/7/02 - Tentatively scheduled for the Monday following the next. That gives me a week and a half to get ready. I might need to buy some shirts and pants or something. Most of all, I will need to get a car so that I don't have to drive the minivan up and down 355 every day.
Overall, I'm really happy with how this all worked out. The job sounds actually pretty cool, I will get to work on a lot of different projects so I'll be exposed to a wide range of things, not exclusively focused in software or hardware. At the interview, I met with about 6-7 people and most of them seemed cool. I didn't notice a lot of people my age there, but I am pretty sure they are around and I will meet people who are under 30. I hear that the employees like to play softball too, that would be pretty sweet.
Hopefully when I get the chance, I will get to post some more in depth thoughts about the whole experience, from graduation, to working for my dad, to where I am now. I'm sure you are all dying to read another long, drawn out sappy entry.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Awards
Ok, even though I recently posted a list of Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, I still think the concept of awards is way overrated. There are simply too many different awards being given these days and I don't understand why people take it so seriously. Just off the top of my head, there's the Golden Globes, American Music Awards, Viewers Choice Awards, ESPYs, Soul Train Awards, MTV VMAs, Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, plus too many others that are even less meaningful. Academy Awards might be a little more prestigious than the others, but still I don't put much stock in them and I haven't watched an Oscars, Emmys, or Grammys in a really long time.
So I have to wonder why it is that people take these things so seriously. Movie stars, rappers, or athletes end up feeling dissed if they are not nominated or don't win a category. Or, they burst into tears of joy when their name is called, leading them to go up and thank God, their agent, and their mother (in no particular order). You know, I don't give a crap about them winning the award, I have a feeling that God cares even less. Anyways, why do these awards mean so much to these people? Aren't their millions of fans, their Cribs-worthy homes and cars, and the fact that they can pretty much date whoever they want enough to satisfy them? I guess not...
In reality, how much is an Oscar or Grammy worth? I'm sure there are a lot of great artists or actors who have won them, but I bet if I looked through a list of winners of the past 5 years, I could find a lot that suck too; what does that say about the credibility of such awards? And do we ever really go see a movie because it has 3 Oscar-winners in the leading cast? If so, is that even the real reason why people are so happy to win one, that more people will buy their music or see their movies, and they will make even more millions to add to their existing pile of money? I doubt it, people don't sob uncontrollably onstage because of something like that.
If I ever become an accomplished star, however unlikely, I will choose to ignore all awards ceremonies even if I am nominated or win. I remember when Eminem was first getting popular, he would say in his songs that he didn't care about Grammys, yet nowadays he still shows up to all the awards shows with a speech prepared. Artists and performers should make it their goal to constantly improve their skills and serve their fans with more creativity and excellence. They shouldn't strive for schmaltzy awards, but getting these awards should be a byproduct of how much they put into their work.
There are probably a number of exceptions to what I'm saying. The Nobel Prize, for example, is rich in history and given to a very limited number of people each year. If you win a Nobel Prize, your immediate peers include such people as Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa. Not too shabby. With Grammys, on the other hand, even Christina Gaguilera and the Baha Men have won awards, while Britney Spears has been shut out for years - that's simply unacceptable.
Maybe I am just bitter because me and my Senior Design partners were ignored at the Senior Design awards this year, despite our project being awesome (haha). Or maybe I am feeling left out seeing that I haven't won anything half-resembling an award since freshman year of college (the Koehler Outstanding Freshman in Electrical and Computer Engineering Scholarship which basically fell in my lap).
Nah, I am not one to be bitter. If someone really deserves recognition, then I have no problem with them getting an award. It's just that I am so tired of hearing about a different award ceremony every single week. Then there is hype beforehand and all this controversy afterward about who should've won and why. I don't see how big movie stars and musicians can complain about being "shafted" when they don't win an award. Those thousands of Enron employees losing their job because of poor management, they got "shafted". And, isn't it sad that there are magazines and TV shows which dedicate themselves to this crap, and that people have jobs purely based on reporting this kind of stuff? Leads me to wonder if anybody in this country has a life of their own outside of watching the E! Entertainment Network all day. Not that I have a life though, I write blogs all day...
Ok, even though I recently posted a list of Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, I still think the concept of awards is way overrated. There are simply too many different awards being given these days and I don't understand why people take it so seriously. Just off the top of my head, there's the Golden Globes, American Music Awards, Viewers Choice Awards, ESPYs, Soul Train Awards, MTV VMAs, Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, plus too many others that are even less meaningful. Academy Awards might be a little more prestigious than the others, but still I don't put much stock in them and I haven't watched an Oscars, Emmys, or Grammys in a really long time.
So I have to wonder why it is that people take these things so seriously. Movie stars, rappers, or athletes end up feeling dissed if they are not nominated or don't win a category. Or, they burst into tears of joy when their name is called, leading them to go up and thank God, their agent, and their mother (in no particular order). You know, I don't give a crap about them winning the award, I have a feeling that God cares even less. Anyways, why do these awards mean so much to these people? Aren't their millions of fans, their Cribs-worthy homes and cars, and the fact that they can pretty much date whoever they want enough to satisfy them? I guess not...
In reality, how much is an Oscar or Grammy worth? I'm sure there are a lot of great artists or actors who have won them, but I bet if I looked through a list of winners of the past 5 years, I could find a lot that suck too; what does that say about the credibility of such awards? And do we ever really go see a movie because it has 3 Oscar-winners in the leading cast? If so, is that even the real reason why people are so happy to win one, that more people will buy their music or see their movies, and they will make even more millions to add to their existing pile of money? I doubt it, people don't sob uncontrollably onstage because of something like that.
If I ever become an accomplished star, however unlikely, I will choose to ignore all awards ceremonies even if I am nominated or win. I remember when Eminem was first getting popular, he would say in his songs that he didn't care about Grammys, yet nowadays he still shows up to all the awards shows with a speech prepared. Artists and performers should make it their goal to constantly improve their skills and serve their fans with more creativity and excellence. They shouldn't strive for schmaltzy awards, but getting these awards should be a byproduct of how much they put into their work.
There are probably a number of exceptions to what I'm saying. The Nobel Prize, for example, is rich in history and given to a very limited number of people each year. If you win a Nobel Prize, your immediate peers include such people as Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa. Not too shabby. With Grammys, on the other hand, even Christina Gaguilera and the Baha Men have won awards, while Britney Spears has been shut out for years - that's simply unacceptable.
Maybe I am just bitter because me and my Senior Design partners were ignored at the Senior Design awards this year, despite our project being awesome (haha). Or maybe I am feeling left out seeing that I haven't won anything half-resembling an award since freshman year of college (the Koehler Outstanding Freshman in Electrical and Computer Engineering Scholarship which basically fell in my lap).
Nah, I am not one to be bitter. If someone really deserves recognition, then I have no problem with them getting an award. It's just that I am so tired of hearing about a different award ceremony every single week. Then there is hype beforehand and all this controversy afterward about who should've won and why. I don't see how big movie stars and musicians can complain about being "shafted" when they don't win an award. Those thousands of Enron employees losing their job because of poor management, they got "shafted". And, isn't it sad that there are magazines and TV shows which dedicate themselves to this crap, and that people have jobs purely based on reporting this kind of stuff? Leads me to wonder if anybody in this country has a life of their own outside of watching the E! Entertainment Network all day. Not that I have a life though, I write blogs all day...
Saturday, September 21, 2002
Who Wants To Be Mooned?
Just wanted to wish all a happy Mid-Autumn (Moon) Festival, one of the biggest holidays in Chinese culture. I encourage everyone, Chinese or not, to go out on the town and get yourself pasted on some moon-cakes, in celebration of the night of the biggest and brightest full moon of the year.
As reference, please note that there is a very logical explanation behind the celebration of this moon-festival. The main reason is because some woman in ancient times swallowed her husband's special elixir of immortality. This resulted in her becoming some sort of flying fairy. Eventually, she ended up on the moon, fleeing and hiding from her husband, who, as you might imagine, was fairly pissed when he found out.
There are a number of variations or additions to this story, some involving a rabbit that lives on the moon and spends all of his time working with magic "herbs" (snicker snicker). Some say that despite the husband's anger, he still loves her and visits her on the 15th day of the eighth lunar months each year, when they probably "do stuff" that makes the moon look brighter that night. Others claim that this woman who turned into a fairy was apparently very hot. Thus, her beauty must be radiating as the source of the moon's intense glow. There are also rumors that some bad guy scared or tricked the woman into swallowing the immortality elixir, which was meant to be taken together with the husband. From this, disaster struck and now she's on the moon (Yin) and he's on the sun (Yang), and they meet for some Yin-Yang action on this day.
Much like the murders of John F. Kennedy, 2Pac, and Bison Dele, we may never know the entire story. Why the significance of this day? Perhaps the husband misses his lady and he can only see her on the night when the moon is brightest. Or, maybe this was the anniversary of the day she took the elixir and flew away, and she is especially shiny on this day.
As for the moon cakes, they were used by brave rebels during the oppressive Mongolian rule of China to spread word of an uprising that was to take place on this day of the Mid-Autumn festival. Since the dumb Mongolian rulers didn't like to eat these sweet, lovely, glorious snacks that all Chinese people loved, rebels decided to insert their plans into the cakes so that the Chinese peasants would be informed without the Mongolian leaders knowing. Finally, on the day of the Moon Festival, the Chinese people rose up and gave those Mongolian fools a well-deserved beatdown. Serves them right for not appreciating how awesome these cakes are. Since that year, Chinese people honor these rebels by eating all the moon-cakes we can handle. The End.
So now you know all about it. If you're like me, you will spend this night kicking back with moon-cakes galore in honor of the uprising against the Mongols in 1368 A.D., while staring at the moon and looking to get a glimpse of the hot chick that lives there with her pet rabbit.
Just wanted to wish all a happy Mid-Autumn (Moon) Festival, one of the biggest holidays in Chinese culture. I encourage everyone, Chinese or not, to go out on the town and get yourself pasted on some moon-cakes, in celebration of the night of the biggest and brightest full moon of the year.
As reference, please note that there is a very logical explanation behind the celebration of this moon-festival. The main reason is because some woman in ancient times swallowed her husband's special elixir of immortality. This resulted in her becoming some sort of flying fairy. Eventually, she ended up on the moon, fleeing and hiding from her husband, who, as you might imagine, was fairly pissed when he found out.
There are a number of variations or additions to this story, some involving a rabbit that lives on the moon and spends all of his time working with magic "herbs" (snicker snicker). Some say that despite the husband's anger, he still loves her and visits her on the 15th day of the eighth lunar months each year, when they probably "do stuff" that makes the moon look brighter that night. Others claim that this woman who turned into a fairy was apparently very hot. Thus, her beauty must be radiating as the source of the moon's intense glow. There are also rumors that some bad guy scared or tricked the woman into swallowing the immortality elixir, which was meant to be taken together with the husband. From this, disaster struck and now she's on the moon (Yin) and he's on the sun (Yang), and they meet for some Yin-Yang action on this day.
Much like the murders of John F. Kennedy, 2Pac, and Bison Dele, we may never know the entire story. Why the significance of this day? Perhaps the husband misses his lady and he can only see her on the night when the moon is brightest. Or, maybe this was the anniversary of the day she took the elixir and flew away, and she is especially shiny on this day.
As for the moon cakes, they were used by brave rebels during the oppressive Mongolian rule of China to spread word of an uprising that was to take place on this day of the Mid-Autumn festival. Since the dumb Mongolian rulers didn't like to eat these sweet, lovely, glorious snacks that all Chinese people loved, rebels decided to insert their plans into the cakes so that the Chinese peasants would be informed without the Mongolian leaders knowing. Finally, on the day of the Moon Festival, the Chinese people rose up and gave those Mongolian fools a well-deserved beatdown. Serves them right for not appreciating how awesome these cakes are. Since that year, Chinese people honor these rebels by eating all the moon-cakes we can handle. The End.
So now you know all about it. If you're like me, you will spend this night kicking back with moon-cakes galore in honor of the uprising against the Mongols in 1368 A.D., while staring at the moon and looking to get a glimpse of the hot chick that lives there with her pet rabbit.
Thursday, September 19, 2002
Stupid People
I spent half this morning so far trying to get a copy of my unofficial transcript from the lovely idiots running the Student Services office at the U of I College of Engineering. Seriously, I don't know how a department that is ranked top 3 in the nation can hire such incompetence to take care of their business matters in their offices.
So before I even got to talk to a person that could actually help me, I had to go through some stupid touch-tone menu system, then my call was forwarded three separate times by three different people. Each time, the person would listen to me say "Hi, I graduated in May and I need to get an unofficial copy of my transcript for an interview," pause for a few moments, then decide that they didn't feel like helping me and dump me on someone else by transferring my call. That's if I was lucky, one braindead lady first chose to waste my time by asking me a whole bunch of questions like "What is the transcript for?" and other info which I ended up repeating anyways to the last person. What a waste of time, if you're gonna transfer me, just do it right away instead of pretending like you know how to fix my problem.
Finally, I got to a lady who seemed like she was at least gonna try to help me out. Unfortunately, she was pretty incompetent too. Somehow, she managed to pull up my transcript on her computer, but when I asked if she could just cut and paste the text and email it to me, she said "ummm... I don't know how to do that." What followed was about a solid minute of stunned silence, as I tried to imagine how you could work in an office with computers, and not know how to cut and paste.
Pretty ridiculous, but I decided screw the email idea, asking her if she could fax me a copy instead. She had to pause awhile for this one, then told me "I don't know if I can do that, but why don't you just give me your fax number, I'll ask someone here if that's possible?" @#*&$%(@&$* Ummm ok here's an idea - why don't you give me your fax number, so I can send you some working brain cells? How hard is it to send a freaking fax?!! I so wanted to throw my phone at the wall. Still, that was probably gonna be my best option, so I decided to just go with it.
Since it was kind of important that I get the transcript soon, I told her to write down my voice (cell) number along with my fax number, and if she ended up not being able to fax it, to call me back so I could find some other solution. Then for 20 minutes or so, I held my breath hoping that somehow this low-IQ lady would come through for me. Finally, I hear a ringer go off. Except it's my cell phone ("you drive me crazy I just can't sleep... I'm so excited, I'm in too deep..."), not my fax machine. Oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me. So I pick it up, and sure enough, I hear the beeping of an incoming fax.
By this time, I was ready to drive down to Champaign myself and lay the smackdown at Engineering Hall. At least I wanted to call back and tell her that she was sending to the wrong phone number, too bad I didn't know what number to call her at. The last thing I wanted to do was to go through their stupid menu system, then say to three different people "Hi, I called earlier about the transcript, can you transfer me to whoever you did last time?" because who knows where that would take me? I would probably end up speaking to a tribal leader in Africa or something.
Thankfully, within another two minutes or so, she must have figured out her boo-boo and I finally got my transcript through the correct fax number. Big sigh of relief.
The other half of my morning was spent on the phone with the lovely folks at Cingular Wireless Customer Service. Those people are actually a little better, but still, I don't know if it is part of the job description of people who answer phones to not be able to help you. It's like they are paid to put you on hold and take as much time as possible before solving your problem. If their computer isn't working quite right, you gotta wait 5 minutes for them to reboot. If you ask them any question besides "How are you?", they have to check with their supervisor to make sure.
The dumb thing is that for the past three months, they have been messing up my bill every which way. I'm supposed to get nationwide long distance, but they ended up billing me for long distance charges on calls to my own cell phone when I was checking voicemail. I'm supposed to have unlimited nights/weekends too, but they found a way to mess that up as well. I don't know how or why, but they gave me 321 night/wknd minutes for free, and then started charging extra fees after that. Makes no sense, but whatever.
After about half an hour on the phone with this girl (who sounded like she was about 16 years old, but I won't rip on her too much because she was polite and at least tried to help), I ended up just changing my plan so I won't have to deal with this crap every month for the rest of my life. Now I am gonna be paying $39.99 a month (instead of $35) but I get 600 anytime minutes a month that rollover. By the way, rollover minutes seem like such an awesome thing, but I say that's how they should have done it to begin with. What's with all the advertising as if it is some new genious idea? As for the rest of my plan, it won't be unlimited night/weekends anymore, it's 3500 minutes. I don't think it will matter, I don't use anything close to 3500 anyways, but just the fact that I am paying 5 bucks more per month to avoid having to deal with my Cingular buddies all the time is pretty dumb. It's one thing for people to be stupid, but now their stupidity is costing me in the form of a $5 monthly fee. That's what should show up on my bill, a $30 plan, plus $2 for caller ID, plus $3 for Nationwide Long Distance, and finally, $4.99 for Cingular Idiot Charges.
I'm too tired to fight. Make love, not war, they say. If I really wanted to get back at these people, I'd tell my mom to call them up, and within minutes they would be at their knees begging me for mercy. If you ever meet my mother, she is a sweet lady but when it comes to dealing with people on the phone, she's ruthless. She will fight for every last penny as if it was her dying breath when it comes to mistakes on credit card bills, bank statements, etc. Not only this, but she is so painfully fobby to deal with so that after a couple minutes of trying to understand her English or trying to explain something to her, most people give up and just agree to all demands. It's also not uncommon for them to throw in a free gift certificate or something, just to get Mrs. Chen off their case. Haha gotta love my momma. You can't stop her, you can only hope to contain her.
Oh yeah, I have an interview tomorrow with Northrop Grumman, which is what started this whole thing. Wish me luck please.
I spent half this morning so far trying to get a copy of my unofficial transcript from the lovely idiots running the Student Services office at the U of I College of Engineering. Seriously, I don't know how a department that is ranked top 3 in the nation can hire such incompetence to take care of their business matters in their offices.
So before I even got to talk to a person that could actually help me, I had to go through some stupid touch-tone menu system, then my call was forwarded three separate times by three different people. Each time, the person would listen to me say "Hi, I graduated in May and I need to get an unofficial copy of my transcript for an interview," pause for a few moments, then decide that they didn't feel like helping me and dump me on someone else by transferring my call. That's if I was lucky, one braindead lady first chose to waste my time by asking me a whole bunch of questions like "What is the transcript for?" and other info which I ended up repeating anyways to the last person. What a waste of time, if you're gonna transfer me, just do it right away instead of pretending like you know how to fix my problem.
Finally, I got to a lady who seemed like she was at least gonna try to help me out. Unfortunately, she was pretty incompetent too. Somehow, she managed to pull up my transcript on her computer, but when I asked if she could just cut and paste the text and email it to me, she said "ummm... I don't know how to do that." What followed was about a solid minute of stunned silence, as I tried to imagine how you could work in an office with computers, and not know how to cut and paste.
Pretty ridiculous, but I decided screw the email idea, asking her if she could fax me a copy instead. She had to pause awhile for this one, then told me "I don't know if I can do that, but why don't you just give me your fax number, I'll ask someone here if that's possible?" @#*&$%(@&$* Ummm ok here's an idea - why don't you give me your fax number, so I can send you some working brain cells? How hard is it to send a freaking fax?!! I so wanted to throw my phone at the wall. Still, that was probably gonna be my best option, so I decided to just go with it.
Since it was kind of important that I get the transcript soon, I told her to write down my voice (cell) number along with my fax number, and if she ended up not being able to fax it, to call me back so I could find some other solution. Then for 20 minutes or so, I held my breath hoping that somehow this low-IQ lady would come through for me. Finally, I hear a ringer go off. Except it's my cell phone ("you drive me crazy I just can't sleep... I'm so excited, I'm in too deep..."), not my fax machine. Oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me. So I pick it up, and sure enough, I hear the beeping of an incoming fax.
By this time, I was ready to drive down to Champaign myself and lay the smackdown at Engineering Hall. At least I wanted to call back and tell her that she was sending to the wrong phone number, too bad I didn't know what number to call her at. The last thing I wanted to do was to go through their stupid menu system, then say to three different people "Hi, I called earlier about the transcript, can you transfer me to whoever you did last time?" because who knows where that would take me? I would probably end up speaking to a tribal leader in Africa or something.
Thankfully, within another two minutes or so, she must have figured out her boo-boo and I finally got my transcript through the correct fax number. Big sigh of relief.
The other half of my morning was spent on the phone with the lovely folks at Cingular Wireless Customer Service. Those people are actually a little better, but still, I don't know if it is part of the job description of people who answer phones to not be able to help you. It's like they are paid to put you on hold and take as much time as possible before solving your problem. If their computer isn't working quite right, you gotta wait 5 minutes for them to reboot. If you ask them any question besides "How are you?", they have to check with their supervisor to make sure.
The dumb thing is that for the past three months, they have been messing up my bill every which way. I'm supposed to get nationwide long distance, but they ended up billing me for long distance charges on calls to my own cell phone when I was checking voicemail. I'm supposed to have unlimited nights/weekends too, but they found a way to mess that up as well. I don't know how or why, but they gave me 321 night/wknd minutes for free, and then started charging extra fees after that. Makes no sense, but whatever.
After about half an hour on the phone with this girl (who sounded like she was about 16 years old, but I won't rip on her too much because she was polite and at least tried to help), I ended up just changing my plan so I won't have to deal with this crap every month for the rest of my life. Now I am gonna be paying $39.99 a month (instead of $35) but I get 600 anytime minutes a month that rollover. By the way, rollover minutes seem like such an awesome thing, but I say that's how they should have done it to begin with. What's with all the advertising as if it is some new genious idea? As for the rest of my plan, it won't be unlimited night/weekends anymore, it's 3500 minutes. I don't think it will matter, I don't use anything close to 3500 anyways, but just the fact that I am paying 5 bucks more per month to avoid having to deal with my Cingular buddies all the time is pretty dumb. It's one thing for people to be stupid, but now their stupidity is costing me in the form of a $5 monthly fee. That's what should show up on my bill, a $30 plan, plus $2 for caller ID, plus $3 for Nationwide Long Distance, and finally, $4.99 for Cingular Idiot Charges.
I'm too tired to fight. Make love, not war, they say. If I really wanted to get back at these people, I'd tell my mom to call them up, and within minutes they would be at their knees begging me for mercy. If you ever meet my mother, she is a sweet lady but when it comes to dealing with people on the phone, she's ruthless. She will fight for every last penny as if it was her dying breath when it comes to mistakes on credit card bills, bank statements, etc. Not only this, but she is so painfully fobby to deal with so that after a couple minutes of trying to understand her English or trying to explain something to her, most people give up and just agree to all demands. It's also not uncommon for them to throw in a free gift certificate or something, just to get Mrs. Chen off their case. Haha gotta love my momma. You can't stop her, you can only hope to contain her.
Oh yeah, I have an interview tomorrow with Northrop Grumman, which is what started this whole thing. Wish me luck please.
More on My Mom and Computers
I wrote about this before, but my mom is too funny when it comes to computers. She came running to my room earlier asking me for help, all stressed out and scared that she messed up the computer badly. It turns out that she couldn't figure out how to close one of those banner ads that look like a small warning/dialog box window. You know, the ones that say something like "Your Internet is not optimized for speed! Click OK to fix" and have a the minimize/restore/close buttons in the top right corner. So she must have spent like 10 minutes trying to close a banner ad that only looked like a window, before turning desperate and coming to me for help.
Then she was all freaked out because she opened a program, and then all of the programs disappeared on the taskbar. This time, it was because Windows XP starts a new row on the taskbar when you have too much stuff open, and adds a scroll button on the side. She didn't notice the scroll thing so she was all in panic thinking that she closed all my programs without saving or something. Ahhh... it's cute right now but maybe if she starts finding new ways to be dumb about computers every day, I will not be as amused.
I wrote about this before, but my mom is too funny when it comes to computers. She came running to my room earlier asking me for help, all stressed out and scared that she messed up the computer badly. It turns out that she couldn't figure out how to close one of those banner ads that look like a small warning/dialog box window. You know, the ones that say something like "Your Internet is not optimized for speed! Click OK to fix" and have a the minimize/restore/close buttons in the top right corner. So she must have spent like 10 minutes trying to close a banner ad that only looked like a window, before turning desperate and coming to me for help.
Then she was all freaked out because she opened a program, and then all of the programs disappeared on the taskbar. This time, it was because Windows XP starts a new row on the taskbar when you have too much stuff open, and adds a scroll button on the side. She didn't notice the scroll thing so she was all in panic thinking that she closed all my programs without saving or something. Ahhh... it's cute right now but maybe if she starts finding new ways to be dumb about computers every day, I will not be as amused.
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Driving a Minivan
Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.
Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.
You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.
So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...
While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.
Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...
Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.
Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.
You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.
So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...
While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.
Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Students UIUC
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Monday, September 16, 2002
Wedding
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
Saturday, September 14, 2002
Post-Job Fair Thoughts
When I was watching TV last week in Champaign, I saw a commercial: "Is not having your high school diploma preventing you from getting the job you want?" Hmmm..... Well, something is preventing me from getting a job, but it's definitely not the lack of a high school diploma. I even got a college degree, for what it's worth. If you wanna see the diploma, it is probably somewhere underneath that giant pile of papers on my desk.
Anyways, as anybody who reads my blog regularly and carefully should know, I was down in Champaign this past week for the Engineering Career Expo (or whatever it's called), looking for some sort of engineering-related job. By the way, much thanks to BrotherD and his roommates for letting me crash at his apt. That was extra generous and I will hit you back for that Jack's Deluxe Frozen Pizza when I get the chance.
The expo was a little bit better than last year, as far as company attendance goes, but overall it was just about as pointless. There were fewer empty tables, but this is probably because this time around, companies already know they suck, and they were able to plan ahead with their suckiness in mind. Last year, the companies just kind of made plans to go to the fair, weeks or months before their financial situation took yet another unexpected dive. Then 9/11/01 came and threw more confusion into the mix. The result was many empty tables at the 2001 Expo and a extreme dearth of hiring.
This year, I was already somewhat mentally prepared for more of the same, with the economy still sputtering like it has been the past few years. I talked to some companies, handed out my share of resumes, and even got a little bit of free stuff too, just for kicks and giggles. But the overwhelming feeling that I got was that companies were still not serious about hiring. They were probably more just attending the fair for their company name, maybe taking a couple interns here and there, and keeping an eye out for that guy with a 4.0 GPA, president of the Engineering Council and College Republicans, interned with the CIA and the U.S. Navy, that studied abroad for two years while volunteering to help poverty-stricken sheep-shearers in Lithuania or something. By the way, that's not me. My GPA is more in the 3.3-3.4 range, I'm not president of anything important (unless you count the United States haha), and I absolutely despise those sheep-shearer lowlifes.
A couple companies seemed a little interested, but I'm not really holding my breath because you never really know what those company representatives are really thinking. I really wonder sometimes. Maybe someday I will be in the position as a hiring manager or something, that might be fun. First I would give all my friends jobs, then I would look for that 4.0 GPA sheep-lover student and tell him that we were looking for someone with more leadership qualities. I'd go to these fairs just for the free food, then be stingy with giving out the free flashing balls and hog them for myself. The most efficient idea would be to sit there at the table with a sign that says "visit InterviewTrak and look us up on www.google.com for more information," then point to it every time someone approaches your company booth.
Oh well, if I get any interviews soon, you will all know how it goes. Other than the fair, the week went ok. I was pretty sick for the first few days, so that wasn't too cool. I think I might have lost about 10 pounds again, sweet eh. But people might get a laugh out of the fact that I actually took some medicine this time. First, I tried a little bit of Triaminic. That didn't really do much as far as I could tell, but it tasted nice. Then I tried some Sudafed-type stuff to clear up sinus congestion, which I think might have been helpful. There were also some pretty cool lemony cough drops I had too. I kind of wish somebody had some 'tussin though. But yeah, before everyone starts judging me as some sort of hypocrite, just know that this was a special situation. I went down specifically to the job fair, so I couldn't really be lying in bed every day of the week until I got better. If you go back and read my PMS blog carefully, then you would see that I specifically said "... I do understand that in today's world, there are times when you can't afford to lose a couple days to illness and taking a Tylenol is worth it." Anyways, I only had a couple doses, not every 4 to 6 hours or whatever it was. And I recovered pretty quick too.
Also, I definitely stick to what I said about Kleenex and how it should not be so soft and pampering your nose when you are sick. I must have blown my nose about 900,000 times in the past week, with everything from toilet paper and napkins to paper towels (emphasis on "paper"). But I took it all like a man, and my skin didn't even peel one bit. I think I have conditioned that skin around my nose to be tough as sandpaper by now. Yeah, even the strongest paper towels tremble in fear to be blown by my nose, the king of them all.
As I write, my little stopwatch/alarm I got from Honda at the fair keeps going off periodically, and I threw away the instructions so I don't know how to turn it off. Stupid Honda, I never liked them anyways. They will not be receiving my customership nor employment anytime soon unless this silliness is rectified.
I still miss college life on campus, but it was cool just to experience it again for a few days. Any longer, and I would find myself living in the past like that guy in Can't Hardly Wait (what's his name again?). It's nice to finish your biznass in the early afternoon and be able to do whatever afterwards. I played some catch, chilled on the Quad and Union, even stopped by this special name-brand clothing discount thing at the Chancellor Hotel with Chras one day. Too bad it was mostly girls clothes and I don't like Structure/Express anymore. If I remember to, one of these days I might tell the story of why I stopped getting stuff from Structure way back in senior year of high school. Anyways, in no time I found myself back to the unhealthy eating and irregular sleep schedule of years past, as well as watching music videos all day and all 2,136 daily showings of SportCenter.
Green Street looks good, but it does not justify all the annoying construction we had to go through last year. Let me get this straight - they close off the busiest street on campus for a few months, make life miserable for drivers, pedestrians, and Green Street businesses, and spend a few million tax dollars for what? Sidewalks that are a little wider, but who cares? Walk/Don't Walk signs that count down the seconds left? A street that is more difficult than ever to drive through, that's for sure. I know what they could've done with the money, give some to me.
I can still login to the Union and EWS computers, which is nice. But I dread the day when I try to check my jychen UIUC email and it says "Account Invalid" or something, that will be a slap in the face. I never really used access to those labs like the school meant me to, though. All the free printing was either wasted entirely each semester, or used to print up fantasy baseball information. And most of the time I logged into EWS was to check my email or sports scores, not to do work in UNIX or use any of the programs like PSPICE or MATLAB. I'm such an awesome student.
I didn't get to visit Grainger like I wanted to, but I'll get my chance eventually. I haven't quite reached the point in my life yet when me and P can go back, haul some huge speakers into the big room on the 2nd floor, and blast Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls on Parade" at maximum volume. Someday, though, someday.
By the end of last semester, I was pretty tan from being outside all the time. But one summer's worth of being indoors all the time has pretty much all but negated that. I am once again just a pale skinny kid.
Ah, good old University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We had our good times and bad. I'll be back, don't worry.
When I was watching TV last week in Champaign, I saw a commercial: "Is not having your high school diploma preventing you from getting the job you want?" Hmmm..... Well, something is preventing me from getting a job, but it's definitely not the lack of a high school diploma. I even got a college degree, for what it's worth. If you wanna see the diploma, it is probably somewhere underneath that giant pile of papers on my desk.
Anyways, as anybody who reads my blog regularly and carefully should know, I was down in Champaign this past week for the Engineering Career Expo (or whatever it's called), looking for some sort of engineering-related job. By the way, much thanks to BrotherD and his roommates for letting me crash at his apt. That was extra generous and I will hit you back for that Jack's Deluxe Frozen Pizza when I get the chance.
The expo was a little bit better than last year, as far as company attendance goes, but overall it was just about as pointless. There were fewer empty tables, but this is probably because this time around, companies already know they suck, and they were able to plan ahead with their suckiness in mind. Last year, the companies just kind of made plans to go to the fair, weeks or months before their financial situation took yet another unexpected dive. Then 9/11/01 came and threw more confusion into the mix. The result was many empty tables at the 2001 Expo and a extreme dearth of hiring.
This year, I was already somewhat mentally prepared for more of the same, with the economy still sputtering like it has been the past few years. I talked to some companies, handed out my share of resumes, and even got a little bit of free stuff too, just for kicks and giggles. But the overwhelming feeling that I got was that companies were still not serious about hiring. They were probably more just attending the fair for their company name, maybe taking a couple interns here and there, and keeping an eye out for that guy with a 4.0 GPA, president of the Engineering Council and College Republicans, interned with the CIA and the U.S. Navy, that studied abroad for two years while volunteering to help poverty-stricken sheep-shearers in Lithuania or something. By the way, that's not me. My GPA is more in the 3.3-3.4 range, I'm not president of anything important (unless you count the United States haha), and I absolutely despise those sheep-shearer lowlifes.
A couple companies seemed a little interested, but I'm not really holding my breath because you never really know what those company representatives are really thinking. I really wonder sometimes. Maybe someday I will be in the position as a hiring manager or something, that might be fun. First I would give all my friends jobs, then I would look for that 4.0 GPA sheep-lover student and tell him that we were looking for someone with more leadership qualities. I'd go to these fairs just for the free food, then be stingy with giving out the free flashing balls and hog them for myself. The most efficient idea would be to sit there at the table with a sign that says "visit InterviewTrak and look us up on www.google.com for more information," then point to it every time someone approaches your company booth.
Oh well, if I get any interviews soon, you will all know how it goes. Other than the fair, the week went ok. I was pretty sick for the first few days, so that wasn't too cool. I think I might have lost about 10 pounds again, sweet eh. But people might get a laugh out of the fact that I actually took some medicine this time. First, I tried a little bit of Triaminic. That didn't really do much as far as I could tell, but it tasted nice. Then I tried some Sudafed-type stuff to clear up sinus congestion, which I think might have been helpful. There were also some pretty cool lemony cough drops I had too. I kind of wish somebody had some 'tussin though. But yeah, before everyone starts judging me as some sort of hypocrite, just know that this was a special situation. I went down specifically to the job fair, so I couldn't really be lying in bed every day of the week until I got better. If you go back and read my PMS blog carefully, then you would see that I specifically said "... I do understand that in today's world, there are times when you can't afford to lose a couple days to illness and taking a Tylenol is worth it." Anyways, I only had a couple doses, not every 4 to 6 hours or whatever it was. And I recovered pretty quick too.
Also, I definitely stick to what I said about Kleenex and how it should not be so soft and pampering your nose when you are sick. I must have blown my nose about 900,000 times in the past week, with everything from toilet paper and napkins to paper towels (emphasis on "paper"). But I took it all like a man, and my skin didn't even peel one bit. I think I have conditioned that skin around my nose to be tough as sandpaper by now. Yeah, even the strongest paper towels tremble in fear to be blown by my nose, the king of them all.
As I write, my little stopwatch/alarm I got from Honda at the fair keeps going off periodically, and I threw away the instructions so I don't know how to turn it off. Stupid Honda, I never liked them anyways. They will not be receiving my customership nor employment anytime soon unless this silliness is rectified.
I still miss college life on campus, but it was cool just to experience it again for a few days. Any longer, and I would find myself living in the past like that guy in Can't Hardly Wait (what's his name again?). It's nice to finish your biznass in the early afternoon and be able to do whatever afterwards. I played some catch, chilled on the Quad and Union, even stopped by this special name-brand clothing discount thing at the Chancellor Hotel with Chras one day. Too bad it was mostly girls clothes and I don't like Structure/Express anymore. If I remember to, one of these days I might tell the story of why I stopped getting stuff from Structure way back in senior year of high school. Anyways, in no time I found myself back to the unhealthy eating and irregular sleep schedule of years past, as well as watching music videos all day and all 2,136 daily showings of SportCenter.
Green Street looks good, but it does not justify all the annoying construction we had to go through last year. Let me get this straight - they close off the busiest street on campus for a few months, make life miserable for drivers, pedestrians, and Green Street businesses, and spend a few million tax dollars for what? Sidewalks that are a little wider, but who cares? Walk/Don't Walk signs that count down the seconds left? A street that is more difficult than ever to drive through, that's for sure. I know what they could've done with the money, give some to me.
I can still login to the Union and EWS computers, which is nice. But I dread the day when I try to check my jychen UIUC email and it says "Account Invalid" or something, that will be a slap in the face. I never really used access to those labs like the school meant me to, though. All the free printing was either wasted entirely each semester, or used to print up fantasy baseball information. And most of the time I logged into EWS was to check my email or sports scores, not to do work in UNIX or use any of the programs like PSPICE or MATLAB. I'm such an awesome student.
I didn't get to visit Grainger like I wanted to, but I'll get my chance eventually. I haven't quite reached the point in my life yet when me and P can go back, haul some huge speakers into the big room on the 2nd floor, and blast Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls on Parade" at maximum volume. Someday, though, someday.
By the end of last semester, I was pretty tan from being outside all the time. But one summer's worth of being indoors all the time has pretty much all but negated that. I am once again just a pale skinny kid.
Ah, good old University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We had our good times and bad. I'll be back, don't worry.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
And the DBA goes to...
I am sure everyone is dying with anticipation to find out who the winners of this edition of DBAs are. Well, wait no longer. The red carpet has been rolled out and the awards are about to be given. Read on.
(For the nominees, read my 9/05/02 blog).
*Best New Artist*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Ashanti [-|-]
The field this year was sparse in the "Best New Artist" area, as only three artists were nominated for this category. In the end, the sweet-sounding voice of R&B newcomer Ashanti won over the DBA voters, despite her affiliation with the God-awful Murder Inc.and Ja Rule songs. She would also be much better off collaborating with Skinny Joe (that's me) instead of Fat Joe, but too bad I can't rap. Avril Lavigne, while extremely popular with the younger audience after "Complicated," has failed to captivate the respect of the serious music listener crowd as of yet. Meanwhile, John Mayer, when asked about losing the award to Ashanti, was quoted as saying "I don't give a crap, those DBAs are for losers." Bad attitude, John, bad attitude. That's probably why he didn't win.
*Best New Blog*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... mcpheenys [-|-]
In choosing a winner for this category, two main factors were considered: quantity and quality of blogs. Many new bloggers had put up some excellent entries, but were eliminated early on from voting by failing to update for weeks at a time. In general, the quality of all blogs read by DBA exectives were good; however, the eventual nominees demonstrated outstanding creativity/humor/insight that set them apart from others. The trivia question format pioneered by stork0262, combined with regular gems of his dry wit is a prime example of good original bloggage. Cindychen has also produced some very insightful and well thought out blogs, though critics have complained that her family ties to DBA big cheese Joe Chen were the real reason for her nomination over other deserving blogs, such as parnstar, swkisaragi, or WillCheng Xanga, rather than achieving the nomination of her own merit. Meanwhile, ontic08 broke into the blog world with a flash and has demonstrated potential for greatness but perhaps lost out to more established, longstanding bloggers. As for the winner, few readers of mcpheenys log in the past few months have failed to come away from each entry feeling either utterly confused or thinking, "this kid is one strange character." And yet, the voters at DBA offices could not help but become addicted to reading this blog, featuring perhaps the dryest humor of them all. With the Best New Blog DBA, we salute mcpheenys and beg him to keep them coming.
*Gayest Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Enrique Iglesias for "Escape" [-|-]
Four songs were nominated, but one thing was almost certain - Enfreakay was going to win this category one way or another. With an unusual two nominations in the same category given to Iglesias, there was little reason for either Justin Timberlake or Dashboard Confessional to even show up to the awards ceremony, held at the Walgreens by 75th and Lemont. Ultimately, it was "Escape" that got the award over "Hero," by proving to listeners worldwide that they could run, they could hide, but they can't escape that song. A side controversy involved the nomination of Timberlake's "Like I Love You," as many felt it did not actually qualify as an actual song and thus could not be considered "Gayest Song." Yet, the fact that it still got nominated despite this and that that it was released only a couple weeks ago shows that the ongoing rivalry between Timberlake and DBA head Chen is still alive and kicking, with much animosity running between the two.
*Most Overplayed*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero [-|-]
Competition was stiff in this category, as all nominees successfully flooded the airwaves to the point of causing listeners to want to punch through a wall the next time they heard each song. Nelly's "Hot in Herre" was everywhere, although "Dilemma" could have just as easily been nominated. The eventual winner, "Hero," was picked over the others because it absolutely dominated every single station for a couple months as well as being the title theme to the movie "Spiderman," the WB show "Smallville," and the Houston Rockets Yao Ming Promo. Many still shudder to hear echoes of that song "... and they say that a hero could save us, I'm not gonna stand here and waaiiiiiiiiiiiiit...."
*Best Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Linkin Park - Papercut [-|-]
As hotly contested as the "Most Overplayed" category was, there were no clear cut favorite for the "Best Song" award. Hip-hop and R&B failed to make the list of nominees entirely, which was instead dominated by Alternative music. Sadly, Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" was never a real threat to win the award mainly because of radio overdose. Lavigne would eventually come away from the DBAs emptyhanded after receiving three nominations, with an angry but nevertheless cute look on her face. "Papercut" was highly underrated and did not suffer from being overplayed as much as the other songs. Mike Shinoda, accepting for the winners Linkin Park had the following words to say: "Much thanks for this awesome award, I've waited my whole life to get a DBA. I feel sorry for poor little Avril though. She tried so hard, and got so far ... but in the end, it didn't even matter."
*Ugliest Celebrity*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... That large skater-looking kid [-|-]
Many more nominations could have been handed out for this category, but ultimately it was decided that having six uglies show up at the ceremony was about all the people would be able to stomach. A somewhat surprising nominee was Christina Aguilera, but apparently "skankiest" and "ugliest" were treated synonymously by DBA executives. That large skater-looking kid won the award over Aguilera as well as tall awkard-looking athletes Yao Ming and Randy Johnson, mean Ebeneezer Scrooge-type Bud Selig, and she-man Venus Williams, even though teenage rocker girls flooded the DBA online voting to argue that he was "cute." Insiders also report that Venus originally was to receive the award, but fears that her nazi father Richard Williams would storm the after-party with a machine gun and fire wildly in retaliation eventually pushed the award into the hands of MTV punk/rock/skater kid.
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Alex Rodriguez [-|-]
Mussina had the loyalty factor, Soriano had the hotshot young Dominican edge, Bonds had the chasing history attention, and Johan Santana the unexpected success advantage. But none could compare to A-Rod, who is flat out awesome. As a shortstop, he leads the entire league in HR and RBI, that's including Bonds or Sosa. He hits well above .300 as a legitimate power hitter but bats close to .400 with runners in scoring position. Just imagine if he was on a good team, and with actual table setters ahead of him in the lineup. All this, with a solid glove and at age 27. Although Santana was a sleeper favorite early on, he could not overcome the awesomeness of A-Rod in the end. There was simply no contest when it came to handing out this award. He is also the MVP in my book, forget the Tejada business.
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Clinton Portis [-|-]
The definition of sleeper is a bit gray, but all of these nominees share the characteristic that none of them are Marshall Faulk, Kurt Warner, Terrell Owens, or Tony Gonzalez. While any owner would be foolish to draft these guys in the early rounds, taking a couple later on could prove to make or break their season. Ismail, Pittman, and Gardner all face new situations and opportunities, in the form of new teams and/or coaches, while Barlow is poised to take over the helms of aging Garrison Hearst, but Portis barely has a starting job at this point. Do the folks awarding the DBA know something the public doesn't? Maybe, maybe not, but if Portis can continue the line of success of Terrell Davis, Mike Anderson, and Olandis Gary in Mike Shanahan's system, he could put a fantasy team over the top and this is the reasoning behind giving him this year's award.
*Favorite Movie*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Austin Powers 3 [-|-]
The nominations for "Favorite Movie" were not surprisingly dominated by summer releases. The only nomination that was not from the summer, Crossroads, failed to garner the award because even Britney Spears's star power and quality acting could not overcome silly dialogue and a severely weak supporting cast. Sad, because we were all rooting for Britney to get a DBA and this was her only nomination this year. Don't worry Britney, there's always next year. Also, she may be able to take certain comfort in knowing that her cameo in Austin Powers 3 did help boost the movie over the serious movies it was competing against. AP3 also benefited from the late summer release date of Blue Crush and the recent business of DBA head honcho Joe Chen's schedule. Everyone knows Chen is a big sucker for these movies aimed at teenagers with cheesy acting and a dumb plot. Had he seen Blue Crush, it may have had a chance to be nominated and win this category over Austin Powers. By the way, if anyone wants to go see it with him, he would be very appreciative because Olivia doesn't seem too thrilled about watching the movie and he doesn't want to sit in the theater by himself looking like some shady lonely freak. Maybe he should just wait a few more weeks when it will surely be out of the theaters and on DVD.
*Best Recent Album*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Incubus - Morning View [-|-]
All four nominees in this category were deserving of the award, but since only one could win, Morning View was given the nod for its exceptional quality of work. The smooth sounds of Aaliyah, the addicting sound of Weezer, and the upbeat, hilariously entertaining, and hit-loaded Ludacris album were all great and the fact that they did not win shouldn't take anything away
from them.
*Best Meal*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza [-|-]
This category was loaded with great memories throughout this past summer, and of course their receiving nominations alone says plenty. Bob Chinn's, Spirit of Chicago, and the TM BBQ were all mentioned in past blogs which is an additional honor. Dennis's Mom's Restaurant was also great, with quality food, but the best part was being able to chill with some of my favorite people in the world. But I must say that when I am really hungry, there are very, very few things that can top a good old Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza (original, not that rising crust garbage). I could write an entire long blog on that, but you are all spared for now. Suffice it to say that Jack's is more than deserving of a DBA.
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Reruns of The Simpsons [-|-]
When you get right down to it, Simpsons in its heyday was the TV show of our generation. Even though now I only catch the reruns in syndication, it still beats any other show above. Friends might have challenged Simpsons as the best show of our time but Ross is such a homo. Baseball Tonight is great and has gotten better in the past couple years, but it wasn't better than the Simpsons by any stretch of the imagination. 106&Park is pretty good too, especially when they had Jin in the freestyle battles, but it's too bad that AJ is so annoying. PTI is a quality show, no doubt, but I can't watch too much of it or else it gets kind of repetitive. And Real World Chicago was only fun to watch so I could make fun of how dumb all of the people were. Kyle always wanted to "talk about it," Aneesa was nasty, Tonya was a hoe, and everyone else was a drama queen in one way or another. It seemed that ironically, the only person who didn't act that gay was Chris, the gay guy. But all this made for a very entertaining show to watch, I must admit.
*Best Website*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... ESPN Page 2 [-|-]
The best and most consistent source of entertainment on the web these days is ESPN Page 2, without question the most deserving of a DBA of the nominees. Yahoo! Euchre was once king of killing my time, but I no longer have the flexibility to play it during the day without interruption. CBS Baseball has been a great improvement and a better alternative to ESPN's scoreboard and GameCast, but there are other sites like it and it crashes occasionally. The Onion, while hilarious, is only updated once a week or so, unlike Page 2, which is updated every day. During this summer, I followed Page 2's Jim Caple's trek on I-90 across the country, read almost every one of The Sports Guy's commentary, and participated in the celebrity look-a-like game "Here's Looking At You" by submitting some good ones like Ernie Els/Conan O'Brien. Definitely a well done site and worthy of this prestigious award.
Well, that concludes this edition of the Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, otherwise known as "more proof that I have too much time on my hands." Thanks for tuning in. I haven't decided whether this will be a yearly thing, seasonal, or once in a blue moon deal. But doing this one took a lot of work so I am leaning towards less often over more often. Enjoy while you can.
I am sure everyone is dying with anticipation to find out who the winners of this edition of DBAs are. Well, wait no longer. The red carpet has been rolled out and the awards are about to be given. Read on.
(For the nominees, read my 9/05/02 blog).
*Best New Artist*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Ashanti [-|-]
The field this year was sparse in the "Best New Artist" area, as only three artists were nominated for this category. In the end, the sweet-sounding voice of R&B newcomer Ashanti won over the DBA voters, despite her affiliation with the God-awful Murder Inc.and Ja Rule songs. She would also be much better off collaborating with Skinny Joe (that's me) instead of Fat Joe, but too bad I can't rap. Avril Lavigne, while extremely popular with the younger audience after "Complicated," has failed to captivate the respect of the serious music listener crowd as of yet. Meanwhile, John Mayer, when asked about losing the award to Ashanti, was quoted as saying "I don't give a crap, those DBAs are for losers." Bad attitude, John, bad attitude. That's probably why he didn't win.
*Best New Blog*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... mcpheenys [-|-]
In choosing a winner for this category, two main factors were considered: quantity and quality of blogs. Many new bloggers had put up some excellent entries, but were eliminated early on from voting by failing to update for weeks at a time. In general, the quality of all blogs read by DBA exectives were good; however, the eventual nominees demonstrated outstanding creativity/humor/insight that set them apart from others. The trivia question format pioneered by stork0262, combined with regular gems of his dry wit is a prime example of good original bloggage. Cindychen has also produced some very insightful and well thought out blogs, though critics have complained that her family ties to DBA big cheese Joe Chen were the real reason for her nomination over other deserving blogs, such as parnstar, swkisaragi, or WillCheng Xanga, rather than achieving the nomination of her own merit. Meanwhile, ontic08 broke into the blog world with a flash and has demonstrated potential for greatness but perhaps lost out to more established, longstanding bloggers. As for the winner, few readers of mcpheenys log in the past few months have failed to come away from each entry feeling either utterly confused or thinking, "this kid is one strange character." And yet, the voters at DBA offices could not help but become addicted to reading this blog, featuring perhaps the dryest humor of them all. With the Best New Blog DBA, we salute mcpheenys and beg him to keep them coming.
*Gayest Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Enrique Iglesias for "Escape" [-|-]
Four songs were nominated, but one thing was almost certain - Enfreakay was going to win this category one way or another. With an unusual two nominations in the same category given to Iglesias, there was little reason for either Justin Timberlake or Dashboard Confessional to even show up to the awards ceremony, held at the Walgreens by 75th and Lemont. Ultimately, it was "Escape" that got the award over "Hero," by proving to listeners worldwide that they could run, they could hide, but they can't escape that song. A side controversy involved the nomination of Timberlake's "Like I Love You," as many felt it did not actually qualify as an actual song and thus could not be considered "Gayest Song." Yet, the fact that it still got nominated despite this and that that it was released only a couple weeks ago shows that the ongoing rivalry between Timberlake and DBA head Chen is still alive and kicking, with much animosity running between the two.
*Most Overplayed*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero [-|-]
Competition was stiff in this category, as all nominees successfully flooded the airwaves to the point of causing listeners to want to punch through a wall the next time they heard each song. Nelly's "Hot in Herre" was everywhere, although "Dilemma" could have just as easily been nominated. The eventual winner, "Hero," was picked over the others because it absolutely dominated every single station for a couple months as well as being the title theme to the movie "Spiderman," the WB show "Smallville," and the Houston Rockets Yao Ming Promo. Many still shudder to hear echoes of that song "... and they say that a hero could save us, I'm not gonna stand here and waaiiiiiiiiiiiiit...."
*Best Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Linkin Park - Papercut [-|-]
As hotly contested as the "Most Overplayed" category was, there were no clear cut favorite for the "Best Song" award. Hip-hop and R&B failed to make the list of nominees entirely, which was instead dominated by Alternative music. Sadly, Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" was never a real threat to win the award mainly because of radio overdose. Lavigne would eventually come away from the DBAs emptyhanded after receiving three nominations, with an angry but nevertheless cute look on her face. "Papercut" was highly underrated and did not suffer from being overplayed as much as the other songs. Mike Shinoda, accepting for the winners Linkin Park had the following words to say: "Much thanks for this awesome award, I've waited my whole life to get a DBA. I feel sorry for poor little Avril though. She tried so hard, and got so far ... but in the end, it didn't even matter."
*Ugliest Celebrity*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... That large skater-looking kid [-|-]
Many more nominations could have been handed out for this category, but ultimately it was decided that having six uglies show up at the ceremony was about all the people would be able to stomach. A somewhat surprising nominee was Christina Aguilera, but apparently "skankiest" and "ugliest" were treated synonymously by DBA executives. That large skater-looking kid won the award over Aguilera as well as tall awkard-looking athletes Yao Ming and Randy Johnson, mean Ebeneezer Scrooge-type Bud Selig, and she-man Venus Williams, even though teenage rocker girls flooded the DBA online voting to argue that he was "cute." Insiders also report that Venus originally was to receive the award, but fears that her nazi father Richard Williams would storm the after-party with a machine gun and fire wildly in retaliation eventually pushed the award into the hands of MTV punk/rock/skater kid.
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Alex Rodriguez [-|-]
Mussina had the loyalty factor, Soriano had the hotshot young Dominican edge, Bonds had the chasing history attention, and Johan Santana the unexpected success advantage. But none could compare to A-Rod, who is flat out awesome. As a shortstop, he leads the entire league in HR and RBI, that's including Bonds or Sosa. He hits well above .300 as a legitimate power hitter but bats close to .400 with runners in scoring position. Just imagine if he was on a good team, and with actual table setters ahead of him in the lineup. All this, with a solid glove and at age 27. Although Santana was a sleeper favorite early on, he could not overcome the awesomeness of A-Rod in the end. There was simply no contest when it came to handing out this award. He is also the MVP in my book, forget the Tejada business.
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Clinton Portis [-|-]
The definition of sleeper is a bit gray, but all of these nominees share the characteristic that none of them are Marshall Faulk, Kurt Warner, Terrell Owens, or Tony Gonzalez. While any owner would be foolish to draft these guys in the early rounds, taking a couple later on could prove to make or break their season. Ismail, Pittman, and Gardner all face new situations and opportunities, in the form of new teams and/or coaches, while Barlow is poised to take over the helms of aging Garrison Hearst, but Portis barely has a starting job at this point. Do the folks awarding the DBA know something the public doesn't? Maybe, maybe not, but if Portis can continue the line of success of Terrell Davis, Mike Anderson, and Olandis Gary in Mike Shanahan's system, he could put a fantasy team over the top and this is the reasoning behind giving him this year's award.
*Favorite Movie*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Austin Powers 3 [-|-]
The nominations for "Favorite Movie" were not surprisingly dominated by summer releases. The only nomination that was not from the summer, Crossroads, failed to garner the award because even Britney Spears's star power and quality acting could not overcome silly dialogue and a severely weak supporting cast. Sad, because we were all rooting for Britney to get a DBA and this was her only nomination this year. Don't worry Britney, there's always next year. Also, she may be able to take certain comfort in knowing that her cameo in Austin Powers 3 did help boost the movie over the serious movies it was competing against. AP3 also benefited from the late summer release date of Blue Crush and the recent business of DBA head honcho Joe Chen's schedule. Everyone knows Chen is a big sucker for these movies aimed at teenagers with cheesy acting and a dumb plot. Had he seen Blue Crush, it may have had a chance to be nominated and win this category over Austin Powers. By the way, if anyone wants to go see it with him, he would be very appreciative because Olivia doesn't seem too thrilled about watching the movie and he doesn't want to sit in the theater by himself looking like some shady lonely freak. Maybe he should just wait a few more weeks when it will surely be out of the theaters and on DVD.
*Best Recent Album*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Incubus - Morning View [-|-]
All four nominees in this category were deserving of the award, but since only one could win, Morning View was given the nod for its exceptional quality of work. The smooth sounds of Aaliyah, the addicting sound of Weezer, and the upbeat, hilariously entertaining, and hit-loaded Ludacris album were all great and the fact that they did not win shouldn't take anything away
from them.
*Best Meal*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza [-|-]
This category was loaded with great memories throughout this past summer, and of course their receiving nominations alone says plenty. Bob Chinn's, Spirit of Chicago, and the TM BBQ were all mentioned in past blogs which is an additional honor. Dennis's Mom's Restaurant was also great, with quality food, but the best part was being able to chill with some of my favorite people in the world. But I must say that when I am really hungry, there are very, very few things that can top a good old Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza (original, not that rising crust garbage). I could write an entire long blog on that, but you are all spared for now. Suffice it to say that Jack's is more than deserving of a DBA.
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Reruns of The Simpsons [-|-]
When you get right down to it, Simpsons in its heyday was the TV show of our generation. Even though now I only catch the reruns in syndication, it still beats any other show above. Friends might have challenged Simpsons as the best show of our time but Ross is such a homo. Baseball Tonight is great and has gotten better in the past couple years, but it wasn't better than the Simpsons by any stretch of the imagination. 106&Park is pretty good too, especially when they had Jin in the freestyle battles, but it's too bad that AJ is so annoying. PTI is a quality show, no doubt, but I can't watch too much of it or else it gets kind of repetitive. And Real World Chicago was only fun to watch so I could make fun of how dumb all of the people were. Kyle always wanted to "talk about it," Aneesa was nasty, Tonya was a hoe, and everyone else was a drama queen in one way or another. It seemed that ironically, the only person who didn't act that gay was Chris, the gay guy. But all this made for a very entertaining show to watch, I must admit.
*Best Website*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... ESPN Page 2 [-|-]
The best and most consistent source of entertainment on the web these days is ESPN Page 2, without question the most deserving of a DBA of the nominees. Yahoo! Euchre was once king of killing my time, but I no longer have the flexibility to play it during the day without interruption. CBS Baseball has been a great improvement and a better alternative to ESPN's scoreboard and GameCast, but there are other sites like it and it crashes occasionally. The Onion, while hilarious, is only updated once a week or so, unlike Page 2, which is updated every day. During this summer, I followed Page 2's Jim Caple's trek on I-90 across the country, read almost every one of The Sports Guy's commentary, and participated in the celebrity look-a-like game "Here's Looking At You" by submitting some good ones like Ernie Els/Conan O'Brien. Definitely a well done site and worthy of this prestigious award.
Well, that concludes this edition of the Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, otherwise known as "more proof that I have too much time on my hands." Thanks for tuning in. I haven't decided whether this will be a yearly thing, seasonal, or once in a blue moon deal. But doing this one took a lot of work so I am leaning towards less often over more often. Enjoy while you can.
Saturday, September 07, 2002
Job Fairs
With the Engineering Expo coming up next Monday to Thursday down at Champaign, I will be hitching a ride down with my sister to check it out. My experience with these things has not been all that positive, but I figure that I might as well go and talk to some employers and see how the market is these days. Maybe I will even find a suitable job, but who knows.
In my first two years of school, I never really went to any job fair type thing, mostly because I didn't know about them or really care to attend. I didn't have a resume, and I usually wasn't seeking an internship because I had to count on spending every break with my Dad in Taiwan or whatever vacation spot they happened to choose. Plus the expo was usually in like the third week of school, when lazy me had barely unpacked the boxes in my dorm room and most likely had not even bought my books yet.
Junior year was a little bit different. By then, most of my friends were engineers, and people were starting to impress on me the idea that going to these fairs was very important. So I decided to put on a shirt and tie, show up with a folder of resumes, and start shoving them at whoever cared to take them. At this time, the economy had already begun its downturn and many companies were hiring a very limited number of students. Anyways, I didn't really happen to care much, I was just there to visit some booths, talk to some representatives, but most of all, get some free stuff. Free stuff was probably the best part about going to those fairs back then. I'd always just throw aside the company brochures and multimedia CD presentations they'd give me once I got back to my apartment, but those balls that flash when you bounce them were fun throughout all of my two years at 312. Even now, I am still using a Crest toothbrush with massaging tips that I got from a Proctor & Gamble company presentation. I got this big bottle of Febreze that I never opened but is sitting on my shelf too. Whenever I need a rag or something to wear while I change my oil, there is a pile old Compaq Moray Menace T-Shirts somewhere in my dresser. And if there is ever a pen shortage in this country, fear not because I've got a big bag full of pens from every company you can name, lying around in my closet or something.
Even so, once I got to be a senior, things had turned much more serious. The economy had not bounced back as expected, instead it got worse. At the expo, nearly half of the booths were empty because companies were forced to cancel their hiring. A lot of the companies that were there flat out told you that they were experiencing severe financial troubles and were most likely freezing any personnel additions. Others gave me some canned spiel about checking their website online and signing up for InterviewTrak. Good thing I attended, and your company sent you with a booth to tell me that looking online was better than talking to them in person. Needless to say, I was less worried about getting free mousepads that year, and more concerned about getting an actual interview or job offer.
As if matters could not be worse, in the middle of the expo, two planes crashed into the World Trade Center buildings and another into the Pentagon on September 11, 2001, what I hope is the darkest day of history that I will ever have to experience during my lifetime. The last thing anybody wanted to talk about was job placement at that time, and rightly so. With all that was going on in the world, my personal concerns suddenly all seemed light and inconsequential.
Here I am now, a summer gone by since graduation, and once again it's expo time. Am I wiser? More experienced? Ready to impress some companies with my new qualifications? Not as far as I can tell. The only advantage I have now over past years is that I can start working right away. Yay for me. Honestly, though, I don't feel all that desperate to beg people for a job. I know in my heart that I am qualified and that I am smart enough to do a good job at anything they would give me a chance at. There is no sense in taking a dead-end, worthless job where I won't learn anything or improve myself, all the while being unappreciated and unrecognized for my work. I'm better off pursuing a graduate degree, continuing to learn from working with my dad, or maybe even starting my own thing.
Nevertheless, this is a big week for me. Even if I don't get a job, I will have a better idea of what my next step in life should be. If something does happen to open up for me, then who knows where I'm headed and what I'll be doing? I'll let you all know how it went when I get back.
With the Engineering Expo coming up next Monday to Thursday down at Champaign, I will be hitching a ride down with my sister to check it out. My experience with these things has not been all that positive, but I figure that I might as well go and talk to some employers and see how the market is these days. Maybe I will even find a suitable job, but who knows.
In my first two years of school, I never really went to any job fair type thing, mostly because I didn't know about them or really care to attend. I didn't have a resume, and I usually wasn't seeking an internship because I had to count on spending every break with my Dad in Taiwan or whatever vacation spot they happened to choose. Plus the expo was usually in like the third week of school, when lazy me had barely unpacked the boxes in my dorm room and most likely had not even bought my books yet.
Junior year was a little bit different. By then, most of my friends were engineers, and people were starting to impress on me the idea that going to these fairs was very important. So I decided to put on a shirt and tie, show up with a folder of resumes, and start shoving them at whoever cared to take them. At this time, the economy had already begun its downturn and many companies were hiring a very limited number of students. Anyways, I didn't really happen to care much, I was just there to visit some booths, talk to some representatives, but most of all, get some free stuff. Free stuff was probably the best part about going to those fairs back then. I'd always just throw aside the company brochures and multimedia CD presentations they'd give me once I got back to my apartment, but those balls that flash when you bounce them were fun throughout all of my two years at 312. Even now, I am still using a Crest toothbrush with massaging tips that I got from a Proctor & Gamble company presentation. I got this big bottle of Febreze that I never opened but is sitting on my shelf too. Whenever I need a rag or something to wear while I change my oil, there is a pile old Compaq Moray Menace T-Shirts somewhere in my dresser. And if there is ever a pen shortage in this country, fear not because I've got a big bag full of pens from every company you can name, lying around in my closet or something.
Even so, once I got to be a senior, things had turned much more serious. The economy had not bounced back as expected, instead it got worse. At the expo, nearly half of the booths were empty because companies were forced to cancel their hiring. A lot of the companies that were there flat out told you that they were experiencing severe financial troubles and were most likely freezing any personnel additions. Others gave me some canned spiel about checking their website online and signing up for InterviewTrak. Good thing I attended, and your company sent you with a booth to tell me that looking online was better than talking to them in person. Needless to say, I was less worried about getting free mousepads that year, and more concerned about getting an actual interview or job offer.
As if matters could not be worse, in the middle of the expo, two planes crashed into the World Trade Center buildings and another into the Pentagon on September 11, 2001, what I hope is the darkest day of history that I will ever have to experience during my lifetime. The last thing anybody wanted to talk about was job placement at that time, and rightly so. With all that was going on in the world, my personal concerns suddenly all seemed light and inconsequential.
Here I am now, a summer gone by since graduation, and once again it's expo time. Am I wiser? More experienced? Ready to impress some companies with my new qualifications? Not as far as I can tell. The only advantage I have now over past years is that I can start working right away. Yay for me. Honestly, though, I don't feel all that desperate to beg people for a job. I know in my heart that I am qualified and that I am smart enough to do a good job at anything they would give me a chance at. There is no sense in taking a dead-end, worthless job where I won't learn anything or improve myself, all the while being unappreciated and unrecognized for my work. I'm better off pursuing a graduate degree, continuing to learn from working with my dad, or maybe even starting my own thing.
Nevertheless, this is a big week for me. Even if I don't get a job, I will have a better idea of what my next step in life should be. If something does happen to open up for me, then who knows where I'm headed and what I'll be doing? I'll let you all know how it went when I get back.
Friday, September 06, 2002
Anime
I never watched too many Japanese cartoons. Played a lot of video games, watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a kid, but never got into the anime thing. But I've seen a few episodes from random series because know a bunch of big anime fans and it comes my way once in a while for whatever reason. Even though I'm not addicted or anything, I gotta say that some of what I watched was pretty entertaining and funny.
One thing I noticed is that it seems like the main character is always the same guy. Like this quiet, mysterious guy with a checkered past, acts real hard all the time but has plenty of dorky moments, especially awkward when it comes to the one girl he secretly likes. For some reason it seems like the main character always has the same deep voice too, as if there is just this one Japanese guy in all of Japan that they get to do the voice for every cartoon series. I wouldn't be surprised.
Then there is the girl he likes, usually some hot chick who wears short skirts but is very innocent and sweet. She also has to secretly like him back, but they don't find out each others' feelings until the second season. At that point, they are happy together for an episode or two before something tears them apart and the struggle continues. Also, the main character has to have a number of rivals, usually with one main enemy who isn't just a plain old bad guy, but he is conflicted with his own history that we are supposed to somewhat identify with, yet still hate. I always like that guy the best in these series, he's usually the most complex and well developed character, I've found. A couple examples I can think of are Piccolo and Vegeta in Dragonball Z, or Sephiroth in Final Fantasy VII.
Another thing is that there seem to be a lot of people with blonde, brown, or red hair in these stories. Is this because that is how people look in Japan? I thought all Japanese people were born with black hair. Or maybe they just think black hair looks too lame. But something about blonde hair with chinky face and slanty eyes just doesn't seem right. It's just the guys that have slanty eyes though, the girls always have big round eyes, unlike real life Oriental girls. The other thing about hair is that spiky hair is very common too. Not spiky like Bart Simpson spiky, but I'm sure everyone has seen what I'm talking about.
So basically those are a few of the main guidelines to make a successful anime series, spoken from an observer's point of view. You get your main character (along with that guy with the deep voice to do his part), the hot but innocent chick, and a complex, mysterious, and twisted bad guy. Then incorporate the love story and scattered battles between main character and bad guy in which nobody ever wins. Be sure to also draw more Caucasian looking characters because black hair and slanty eyes aren't cool, and don't forget to add a hip Japanese dance/pop theme song to the beginning title sequence and credits. Shoot, if I could draw and had enough money to produce a Japanese cartoon, I'd make millions...
I never watched too many Japanese cartoons. Played a lot of video games, watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a kid, but never got into the anime thing. But I've seen a few episodes from random series because know a bunch of big anime fans and it comes my way once in a while for whatever reason. Even though I'm not addicted or anything, I gotta say that some of what I watched was pretty entertaining and funny.
One thing I noticed is that it seems like the main character is always the same guy. Like this quiet, mysterious guy with a checkered past, acts real hard all the time but has plenty of dorky moments, especially awkward when it comes to the one girl he secretly likes. For some reason it seems like the main character always has the same deep voice too, as if there is just this one Japanese guy in all of Japan that they get to do the voice for every cartoon series. I wouldn't be surprised.
Then there is the girl he likes, usually some hot chick who wears short skirts but is very innocent and sweet. She also has to secretly like him back, but they don't find out each others' feelings until the second season. At that point, they are happy together for an episode or two before something tears them apart and the struggle continues. Also, the main character has to have a number of rivals, usually with one main enemy who isn't just a plain old bad guy, but he is conflicted with his own history that we are supposed to somewhat identify with, yet still hate. I always like that guy the best in these series, he's usually the most complex and well developed character, I've found. A couple examples I can think of are Piccolo and Vegeta in Dragonball Z, or Sephiroth in Final Fantasy VII.
Another thing is that there seem to be a lot of people with blonde, brown, or red hair in these stories. Is this because that is how people look in Japan? I thought all Japanese people were born with black hair. Or maybe they just think black hair looks too lame. But something about blonde hair with chinky face and slanty eyes just doesn't seem right. It's just the guys that have slanty eyes though, the girls always have big round eyes, unlike real life Oriental girls. The other thing about hair is that spiky hair is very common too. Not spiky like Bart Simpson spiky, but I'm sure everyone has seen what I'm talking about.
So basically those are a few of the main guidelines to make a successful anime series, spoken from an observer's point of view. You get your main character (along with that guy with the deep voice to do his part), the hot but innocent chick, and a complex, mysterious, and twisted bad guy. Then incorporate the love story and scattered battles between main character and bad guy in which nobody ever wins. Be sure to also draw more Caucasian looking characters because black hair and slanty eyes aren't cool, and don't forget to add a hip Japanese dance/pop theme song to the beginning title sequence and credits. Shoot, if I could draw and had enough money to produce a Japanese cartoon, I'd make millions...
Thursday, September 05, 2002
The Dudo509 Blogspot Awards
In light of the recent MTV Video Music Awards (which I caught pieces of, and from what I saw, really sucked), I have decided to hand out some awards of my own for various categories. No, there is no physical trophy or monetary value to winning a DBA, but the prestige alone should be way more than enough incentive. That is, everyone wants to win one so they can tell people that they got a DBA. With DBA status, it is not uncommon for one to find himself/herself getting into clubs for free, for police officers to not issue you tickets in minor infraction, and to get personal phone calls from the President and Britney Spears.
The following are the categories and nominees. I will announce the winners at a later date.
Disclaimer: Do NOT email me to complain if someone/something you like was not nominated or does not win. Make your own awards.
*Best New Artist*
Ashanti
Avril Lavigne
John Mayer
*Best New Blog*
stork0262
mcpheenys
cindychen
ontic08
*Gayest Song*
Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities
Enrique Iglesias - Hero
Enrique Iglesias - Escape
Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
*Most Overplayed*
DJ Sammy - Heaven
Eminem - Without Me
Nelly - Hot in Herre
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero
*Best Song*
White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl
Linkin Park - Papercut
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
John Mayer - No Such Thing
Incubus - Warning
Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way
*Ugliest Celebrity*
Yao Ming
Bud Selig
Randy Johnson
Christina Aguilera
Venus Williams
That large skater-looking kid that does MTV News
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
Barry Bonds
Mike Mussina
Alfonso Soriano
Alex Rodriguez
Johan Santana
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
Clinton Portis
Kevan Barlow
Qadry Ismail
Michael Pittman
Rod Gardner
*Favorite Movie*
Crossroads
Austin Powers 3
Minority Report
Signs
Road to Perdition
*Best Recent Album*
Incubus - Morning View
Aaliyah - Aaliyah
Weezer - Maladroit
Ludacris - Word of Mouf
*Best Meal I Had Over The Summer*
Bob Chinn's for Mom's B-day w/ Mom and Dad
Dinner Aboard Spirit of Chicago w/ Olivia
Dinner at Dennis's Mom's Restaurant w/ DWu, Cindylee, Smythe
Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza by myself
BBQ with Thai Mafia
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
Friends reruns (WGN, TBS)
Baseball Tonight (ESPN)
106&Park (BET)
Pardon The Interruption (ESPN)
Simpsons reruns (FOX)
Real World Chicago (MTV)
*Best Websites*
ESPN Page 2
The Onion
CBS MLB Scorebard
Yahoo! Euchre
In light of the recent MTV Video Music Awards (which I caught pieces of, and from what I saw, really sucked), I have decided to hand out some awards of my own for various categories. No, there is no physical trophy or monetary value to winning a DBA, but the prestige alone should be way more than enough incentive. That is, everyone wants to win one so they can tell people that they got a DBA. With DBA status, it is not uncommon for one to find himself/herself getting into clubs for free, for police officers to not issue you tickets in minor infraction, and to get personal phone calls from the President and Britney Spears.
The following are the categories and nominees. I will announce the winners at a later date.
Disclaimer: Do NOT email me to complain if someone/something you like was not nominated or does not win. Make your own awards.
*Best New Artist*
Ashanti
Avril Lavigne
John Mayer
*Best New Blog*
stork0262
mcpheenys
cindychen
ontic08
*Gayest Song*
Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities
Enrique Iglesias - Hero
Enrique Iglesias - Escape
Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
*Most Overplayed*
DJ Sammy - Heaven
Eminem - Without Me
Nelly - Hot in Herre
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero
*Best Song*
White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl
Linkin Park - Papercut
Avril Lavigne - Complicated
John Mayer - No Such Thing
Incubus - Warning
Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way
*Ugliest Celebrity*
Yao Ming
Bud Selig
Randy Johnson
Christina Aguilera
Venus Williams
That large skater-looking kid that does MTV News
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
Barry Bonds
Mike Mussina
Alfonso Soriano
Alex Rodriguez
Johan Santana
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
Clinton Portis
Kevan Barlow
Qadry Ismail
Michael Pittman
Rod Gardner
*Favorite Movie*
Crossroads
Austin Powers 3
Minority Report
Signs
Road to Perdition
*Best Recent Album*
Incubus - Morning View
Aaliyah - Aaliyah
Weezer - Maladroit
Ludacris - Word of Mouf
*Best Meal I Had Over The Summer*
Bob Chinn's for Mom's B-day w/ Mom and Dad
Dinner Aboard Spirit of Chicago w/ Olivia
Dinner at Dennis's Mom's Restaurant w/ DWu, Cindylee, Smythe
Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza by myself
BBQ with Thai Mafia
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
Friends reruns (WGN, TBS)
Baseball Tonight (ESPN)
106&Park (BET)
Pardon The Interruption (ESPN)
Simpsons reruns (FOX)
Real World Chicago (MTV)
*Best Websites*
ESPN Page 2
The Onion
CBS MLB Scorebard
Yahoo! Euchre
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Scented Extra Soft Kleenex With Lotion
In an earlier blog, I wrote how some of the good things about girls are candles and exfoliating hand soap. Well, one thing this does not apply to is Kleenex. I am sick and tired of having to use a tissue to wipe up some spilled orange juice and coming away with my hands smelling like flowers. I also do not like my entire face to feel lotion-ey and soft after I blow my nose. Whatever happened to the good old days, when all the skin around my nasal area would start to peel and turn red after a couple days of blowing my nose due to a cold? I miss those days. When you have a cold, you are supposed to suffer. Your nose should not be in any mood to be pampered.
Kleenex is supposed to be a happy medium between paper towels and toilet paper. Ok, it could be softer than both of those, but the idea is that TP is supposed to be so fragile that it virtually dissolves in water when you flush so as to avoid cloggage of your toilet. Paper towels are meant to clean up moderately large spills, tough enough to soak up plenty of liquid without breaking. Meanwhile, the point of Kleenex is to give you something that is decently strong but small and thin enough to use in more delicate situations.
Delicate, to a point. These things are still disposable, mind you. I don't need to feel like the Queen of England whenever I need to wipe some blood off a paper cut or perhaps a knife wound following an unfortunate watermelon cutting incident. It's like paper plates, you know how Chinet always brags about their plates being so tough and lasting? Well, for something that people use once and throw away, I don't need to spend the unneccessary extra cash for luxury disposable plates. I might as well get me some real china, or reusable plastic plates for that matter. As for Kleenex, any type of lotion or extra softness agents are purely uneccessary for people like me (as well as the rest of the non-princess population wandering around out there in this country).
I was washing the lenses of my glasses earlier, and since drying them with a towel usually leaves streaks, I decided to try using a tissue. Man, I would have been better off using that towel, or maybe the fur of my friend's cat who sheds like a mofo. I had to wash the glasses over again right after that Kleenex left a layer of oily and fuzzy crap on the surface which I could not hope to ever see through. Now I am afraid to wipe off some dust off my clock radio using a Kleenex, in the fear that it might turn oily and nasty in the process.
All I'm really asking for is a simple tissue that is cheap, a little bit soft, and durable enough for certain mundane uses. Girls got props for candles and exfoliating soap, but lotioned Kleenex with extra fuzz for added annoyance is going too far, even for an enlightened man like me.
In an earlier blog, I wrote how some of the good things about girls are candles and exfoliating hand soap. Well, one thing this does not apply to is Kleenex. I am sick and tired of having to use a tissue to wipe up some spilled orange juice and coming away with my hands smelling like flowers. I also do not like my entire face to feel lotion-ey and soft after I blow my nose. Whatever happened to the good old days, when all the skin around my nasal area would start to peel and turn red after a couple days of blowing my nose due to a cold? I miss those days. When you have a cold, you are supposed to suffer. Your nose should not be in any mood to be pampered.
Kleenex is supposed to be a happy medium between paper towels and toilet paper. Ok, it could be softer than both of those, but the idea is that TP is supposed to be so fragile that it virtually dissolves in water when you flush so as to avoid cloggage of your toilet. Paper towels are meant to clean up moderately large spills, tough enough to soak up plenty of liquid without breaking. Meanwhile, the point of Kleenex is to give you something that is decently strong but small and thin enough to use in more delicate situations.
Delicate, to a point. These things are still disposable, mind you. I don't need to feel like the Queen of England whenever I need to wipe some blood off a paper cut or perhaps a knife wound following an unfortunate watermelon cutting incident. It's like paper plates, you know how Chinet always brags about their plates being so tough and lasting? Well, for something that people use once and throw away, I don't need to spend the unneccessary extra cash for luxury disposable plates. I might as well get me some real china, or reusable plastic plates for that matter. As for Kleenex, any type of lotion or extra softness agents are purely uneccessary for people like me (as well as the rest of the non-princess population wandering around out there in this country).
I was washing the lenses of my glasses earlier, and since drying them with a towel usually leaves streaks, I decided to try using a tissue. Man, I would have been better off using that towel, or maybe the fur of my friend's cat who sheds like a mofo. I had to wash the glasses over again right after that Kleenex left a layer of oily and fuzzy crap on the surface which I could not hope to ever see through. Now I am afraid to wipe off some dust off my clock radio using a Kleenex, in the fear that it might turn oily and nasty in the process.
All I'm really asking for is a simple tissue that is cheap, a little bit soft, and durable enough for certain mundane uses. Girls got props for candles and exfoliating soap, but lotioned Kleenex with extra fuzz for added annoyance is going too far, even for an enlightened man like me.
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