It's the most wonderful time of the year... the week of Christmas. The only bad thing is that I have to be at the job for today and tomorrow. The bright side is, a lot of other people aren't around to annoy me. Traffic this morning was so light that my commute was cut by about 1/3 of the normal time, to 6 minutes. Here at work, everything is so quiet today. It's nice because the mood is so relaxed, the parking lot is emptier, and I know that it's gonna be a very short week. Zero days would have been nicer, but I'll take two.

Now would be a good time to send shout outs, much love, and props to all the hardworking people like myself, who are grinding it out today and tomorrow instead of relaxing at home. You guys are awesome!!

The main topic of my blog today is Lord of the Rings. For those of you who haven't seen the entire trilogy, skip the rest of this entry. But for those who have, maybe you can explain some of my questions about the movies. Sorry if any of these are supposed to be painfully obvious, or aren't even relevant. Maybe I'm just stupid, or slow, or I didn't pay good enough attention. Also, these are mostly based only on the parts of the trilogy that I watched in the past week, that is, the last 2/3 of the Fellowship and the first 1/2 of Two Towers on TV (Starz! was playing them a lot), and then the whole Return of the King in the theater. The rest of it, I watched a year ago and I forgot what happened. Maybe some of my answers lie in those parts too, and I should watch them again.

Lord of the Rings Questions

1. What is the significance of eagles in these movies? In the third one, they just show up out of nowhere and start taking out those "wraiths" (Starcraft word #1). I thought that was pretty random, but then I saw the first one on TV, and then an eagle saved Gandalf from that one tower when he was about to be porked by Saruman. So I guess there must be some story about why or where these eagles come from.

2. How did Gandalf the Gray become Gandalf the White? It's like he fought that demon thing, chilled on the side of the mountain for a bit, and then next thing you know, he comes back as a White Wizard. Also, are White Wizards cooler or stronger than Gray wizards? Was Saruman formerly a Gray wizard? Would Gandalf the Gray have been unable to drive out Saruman from the King of Rohan (Theodan?)?

3. Is there a relationship between the dead people army that took out the "corsairs" (Starcraft word #2) in the third movie, and the dead people in that swamp in the second one, when Frodo gets mesmerized and falls in? And why are those "bright lights" so mesmerizing anyways?

4. How come one minute Arwen (Liv Tyler) is about to die, and then at the end she's all of a sudden healthy and ready to hook up with Aragorn again?

5. Why did Frodo have to leave the Shire at the end and go with Gandalf?

6. How could Frodo and Sam make it through an entire trilogy of movies while continuing to deny all of their homoerotic feelings towards each other? There were at least 5 or 6 moments throughout the 10 hours of action, when I could have sworn they were leaning in for a passionate kiss. Yet instead of going in for the kill, they broke into a hug every time. So weak... And don't tell me it was a "brotherly love", I know a horny look when I see one. Oh also, in the ending when Sam married the girl in the braids, what a total sham! Completely not believable at all.

7. What exactly is Sauron? In the movies, he's just this huge eye, but then there was a flashback in the first movie where he was this warrior looking guy dressed in black when he got his finger chopped off by Aragorn's dad Arathorn (?) and lost his ring. So how did he become the eye?

8. Why is it Lord of the "Rings" (plural)? Are there other rings? If so, who made them, what do they do, and what happened to them?

9. Who was Cate Blanchett? For that matter, what was the point of meeting her and all her elf homies in that forest? Other than getting that glowing water, of course. And is her group of elves friends or relatives of Legolas's group of elves?

10. This isn't about the plot, but is the guy that plays Liv Tyler's elf dad (Hugo Weaving) in any movies as a character that talks normally? Every time he talked in Lord of the Rings, I couldn't help but think of him as Agent Smith in the Matrix movies. Mmmmmmiiiiisssster Aaaandersonnnn...

11. Is it actually true that "no man" can kill a wraith, but the princess of Rohan can because she's a woman? If so, how cheesy is that? Also, in the first movie when all the wraiths are surrounding Frodo on that mountain, and closing in, why do they run away from Aragorn? Are they afraid of fire? If so, then that is also cheesy.

12. Did anyone else feel like a lot of parts reminded them of certain parts in the original Star Wars movies? For example, the scene when Gandalf is hanging off the cliff, and Frodo watches him fall, that totally made me think of when Luke Skywalker watches Obi-wan Kenobi get killed by Darth Vader in the Death Star. Both in their horrified reaction as someone is holding them back, and also how the old guys just kind of smile and give up. When Gandalf falls off that one platform where Saruman is abusing him, and an eagle catches him, it's like when Luke falls from that post in Cloud City and the Millenium Falcon catches him. Saruman and Count Dooku are like the same character with the same role, they're even played by the same guy, Christopher Lee (I know Count Dooku wasn't in the originals, but still). The second movie in both trilogies starts with a scene in a snowy land. The Balrog in the cave is kind of like the Rancor in Jabba the Hutt's palace. Hobbits are kind of like Ewoks, not in looks, just how they're small and everyone underestimates them. The pale wrinkly face of the possessed king (Theodan?) is kind of like Darth Vader without his mask. Frodo getting his finger bitten off is kind of like Luke getting his hand cut off. And I could've sworn I heard the sound of TIE Fighter engines in one of the movies. I know, some of those are quite a reach, and I'm probably just too obsessed with Star Wars.

13. What race is Gollum/Smeagol?

14. When the army of dead people were fighting that battle in Return of the King, could any of them actually die? Was it basically just a no-lose situation for them against the Orcs? I wish I had an army of dead guys fighting for me.