Eminem and More Thoughts On Life (not as long, but still pretty long)

I think Eminem has something to say about my blog last week about life:

Some days I sit
staring out the window
watching this world pass me by

Sometimes I think
there's nothing to live for
I almost break down and cry

Sometimes I think I'm crazy
I'm crazy oh so crazy
Why am I here?
Am I just wasting my time?

But then I see my baby,
Suddenly I'm not crazy
It all makes sense when I look in her eyes
(from Hailie's Song)

Well, I don't have a baby daughter yet, but maybe when I do, I will understand... Maybe it will all make sense then.

But as I dare to think more about the subject, isn't all happiness temporary? I mean, even when we reach one goal and it makes us happy, isn't there always something that follows next? Some examples I can think of:

Bill Gates has billions of dollars, and Microsoft has an insanely large market share in the operating systems market. But he continues to push for more. Microsoft X-box to break into the video game industry, Pocket PC to dent Palm OS's share, MSN to challenge AOL.

Michael Jordan, he could have retired once and for all in 1993 at the top of his game, become a living legend and known as the greatest basketball player the world had ever seen. Same with 1998, after hitting the game winning shot of the Finals and winning every possible award once again. Still not enough, either time.

Hugh Grant had Liz Hurley, but he had other thoughts. I mean, if having Miss Kensington isn't enough, what is?

Or, when we fill ourselves with an awesome all-you-can-eat meal at New China Buffet, it feels great. But inevitably, we all end up getting hungry again, right? Or, you get a Nintendo game that is awesome, so it makes you happy for a few weeks, but after that, you need a new game, and a new game after that, and maybe an entirely new system in a couple years.

So the thing is, we might think it would be great to have Bill Gates's money, 6 NBA championship rings, or to come home to Vanessa Kensington every night. We might think all-you-can-eat is the answer to all our needs, or that Playstation 3 is gonna be the ultimate end-all and be-all to video game consoles. But obviously none of those will ever bring true and lasting satisfaction.

Think about the movie Memento. The guy's #1 goal was to get revenge on whoever ruined his life. But even when he reached that goal, he had to keep making up new missions for himself. I guess for him, it might have been because he didn't know what was going on. Even for us, though, we can never accomplish one goal of ours and be happy forever. If we find happiness reaching one point, it's only a matter of time before we have to look ahead to the next point and how to get there. Life always goes on. And a life without direction or motivation is a life not worth living, isn't it?

Now, I don't talk about religion too much in this blog. I don't profess to be the best Christian out there; in fact, I know there are far too many ways in which I fall short. I also know that being a Christian doesn't make me better or holier than anyone. I don't think that is the point of Christianity anyways, and hopefully people don't mistake this to be my attitude, like "I'm right, you're wrong, I'm going to Heaven, you're gonna burn in Hell."

But throughout my life, I have honestly found that the answers to so many of my questions come in the last place I think to look - in no place other than in a book written thousands of years ago. Even if you don't believe in God, I really suggest that everyone read the Bible if they get the chance. Try to take that statement as a recommendation to you from a friend, not as a challenge from someone who is trying to dispel your atheism/Buddhism/Islam/whatever and brainwash you into becoming a high and mighty church-goer. That kind of thing ain't my bag, baby.

Anyways, the this is what I read:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for your treasures up in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasures are, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

What does this tell me? I can pursue the things that bring happiness all I want in this life, but it won't last. Well, I came up with that conclusion myself up there, a few paragraphs ago, albeit after some roundabout reasoning and random talk about Bill Gates and Hugh Grant. But yeah, it's saying to me that instead of chasing worldly happiness, "heavenly treasures" are the way to go.

But this can't mean that just because I believe in Heaven and eternal life, that life here isn't worth living, and I should just pray for death to come and for me to go to Heaven. I think it is just pointing out that I am essentially wasting my time if I happen to reduce this life to a mere series of pursuits, chasing one thing after another in search of happiness.

Another passage in the Bible (Matthew 25:14-30) has the parable which I will summarize as the following: A master leaves his 3 servants each with some money before leaving on a business trip. While he's gone, one servant invests his money and doubles his equity. Another one puts it in the bank and earns 6% interest. The third guy takes the money, buries it in the ground somewhere, and sits around till the master gets back. Well, when the guy returns to his servants, who do you think he was pleased with and who do you think he wasn't pleased with?

To me, the point of this story is this: Life is a gift to each and every one of us. Whether you believe it is a gift from God, your mom and dad, or random evolution is up to you. But we should make the most out of the gift of life that we are given, and not let it waste away to the point when someday, lying on your deathbed, you look back and realize that 80-some years passed and you didn't do jack.

Still, it's one thing to profess these beliefs, it's quite another to live them out. I have to say that a lot of the kinds of things I mentioned above do bring me happiness and that they are the motivation for a great deal of the things I do on a daily basis.

I honestly don't know whether the things I just wrote will drastically change the way I live or the choices I make. Realistically, it should motivate me to work hard at what I do and seek to make a difference in this world in some way. Who doesn't want to make their contribution and leave their mark on this earth before dying? But I mean, we can't all be Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, or devote our lives to discovering the cure for cancer, right? Or can we?

I still don't have the definitive answer to all these questions. But I hope that writing down and organizing these thoughts is doing myself some good at least. And hopefully it makes some amount of sense to whoever took the time to read it. I think only in this blog here would you ever see someone start out with a quote from Eminem and end up talking about life and the Bible, kind of weird isn't it...