The Joys of Napping
With my schedule the way it is these days, I have been forced to take naps in the late afternoon-early evening every day in order to stay somewhat alert for the rest of the night. When I was at school, I was also known for my messed up napping habits. I would sleep at like 5 am, wake up for class at 9, go to class for a couple hours, come back, play Starcraft, and then nap for like 3 hours. Or, I'd pull an allnighter, try to make it through an entire day, then give in around dinnertime and "nap" for 16 hours (seriously, I did that). Anyways, you might consider me to be something of a nap expert, a nap connoiseur, if you will. So here are some of my thoughts on this wonderful art of life.
A lot of so-called "experts" say it is good to take short, 15-minute naps during the day as refreshers, rather than a long extended nap. To this, I say "pish-posh" and heartily disagree. So what if they have "medical degrees" and "years of research" and "scientific evidence"? Experts schmexperts... I really can't imagine getting anything out of a puny little 15 minute nap. It's comparable to eating 1 Pringle for a snack. It's like the Diet Coke of naps, "Just one calorie, not nappy enough."
Anyways, to me, a nap isn't a nap unless it's at least an hour and a half to two hours. Real men take long naps (real women, too). I personally feel very dissatisfied with a nap unless I wake up in a complete daze. You know what I mean, when you have no idea what time it is, your hair is all messed up, the wrinkles of your blankets and sheets are permanently engraved upon your face, arms, and legs, and drool is running continuously down your chin to your pillow. Ah, that's the stuff.
Whenever I get the chance to take a nice long nap, I make it a big deal and prepare for it in advance, kind of like when people invite a guest over and they prepare in advance. Well, when my favorite guest, the Nap Fairy, is coming to visit, I gotta make sure everything is in its right place (hey, that's a Radiohead song, "Everything in its Right Place"). That is, I gotta brush my teeth, wear my most comfortable clothes, shut down my computer (the sound of the fan gets annoying), and, for those naps when I treat myself to some extra sauce, I turn off my cell phone and lock my door. Ah, talking about it makes me want to take a nice long nap right this moment. But I guess I can wait for another 7 and a half hours. So as you can see, I don't take naps lightly, nor do I take light naps.
Oh man it's dark outside right now. I hope we don't get struck by a frickin tornado.
Ok, so naps are great and all, but even I will admit that they have their limitations. I'd take sleeping in any day over a 4 or 5 hour night's rest and 2 hour nap. And it's definitely inconvenient to depend on taking a long nap in the middle of the day. So that is why I value a good nap so much, because the opportunity to enjoy one is such a luxury that is not to be overlooked.
The moral of the story is, don't call me between the times of about 4:30 to 6 pm today.
