Thoughts Of A 23 Year Old

I got to talk briefly with birthday girl Lizzie this weekend and it made me suddenly more conscious about my age. When I turned 23 last month, I didn't think much about it at the time. But now, it's kind of hit me that I'm officially knee-deep in the post-college, early-career stage of my life.

Which may or may not be a good thing, I haven't decided yet. You know, my whole life, I've always wanted to get older. In elementary school, you looked up to teenagers because they seemed so cool. Once you become a teen, you can't wait to turn 16 so you can drive. Then you want to turn 18 so you can graduate high school, and feel like an official adult. Of course, you're not really an adult at 18. After 18 the next big age is 21, when you can get into bars and drink legally.

Since I turned 21, what's left for me to look forward to? Turning 25 and watching my car insurance rates drop? Not really. My 22nd and 23rd birthdays were fun, but not so much as a celebration of getting older, more because it was a good excuse to get everyone together and hang out.

There's a certain something special about being 21 that makes it different from any other age. I mean, girls buy clothes at Forever XXI, but how many people would shop at a place called "Forever XXIII"? It's an age when most of us feel young and invincible, when all we really have to worry about is studying, and the rest of the time is spent meeting new people and chilling with the people you already know. You can eat the most unhealthy food and live the unhealthiest life without caring about consequences. You can skip class if you really don't feel like going. You work a job not because you need to pay the bills, but because it lets you spend more on things that are fun. You have no idea where you are gonna be at in 2 years, but you couldn't care less.

At 23, I guess I don't really feel like I've passed my prime or anything. But there's definitely been moments when I have noticed myself getting older when I never have in the past. I can't stay up much later than 11 or 12 without getting tired anymore, when that used to be the beginning of my night. I go to the movie theater, and I'm like the oldest person there. I eat the same things for breakfast and lunch every day and my weeks have become a routine cycle.

I find myself taking my paycheck and leaving it in the bank so I can save up for a house, when in the past that money would probably have gone to modding my car or buying more clothes. Pretty soon, I'll be filing my own taxes for the first time. I'm thinking more about the future; where I'll be in 5 years, 10 years, not just worrying about the exam next week.

My mom and dad's friends start asking me when I'm gonna invite them to my wedding. Some of my own friends are starting to get engaged and married. I'm meeting new people, but not on a daily or weekly basis like it used to be. When I talk to old friends, half of our comments start with "remember when..." because those times past were so much more interesting than times present.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all a bad thing becoming older. At some point, we all have to grow up. Unlike Stork, I don't wanna be Wooderson in Dazed and Confused, or Trip McNeely in Can't Hardly Wait.

The working life might not be as exciting as college life, but I honestly do appreciate being where I am. For once, I'm doing something real, not just working out a made-up math problem for homework. When I leave my cube to go home every day, I'm tired but also feel a strong sense of accomplishment, like I earned the right to sit down and relax on the couch for an hour or two.

Something entirely new to me is that when I talk to my mom and dad these days, I feel like they treat me more as an equal than as a kid. Of course, Chinese parents never quite see their children as being on the same level, but our relationship is definitely different now than before. It's feels a little weird, but it's a good sign which shows that you are truly grown up now and your parents can see that as a fact.

Eventually, I'll be moving into my own house, get married and have kids of my own. At this point, it all seems so far away, but in reality, right now is not too early to at least be thinking and planning for those days. It's actually exciting to me to know that I'm moving along in life, towards different, bigger and better things, and I do want to continue moving forward.

Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss college, I'd also be cheating myself of enjoying the life I have right now if I kept focusing on the past. When I stop and think about it, being 23 isn't bad at all, and I don't see why anyone should fear being 24, 25, 30, 60, or 100 for that matter. When the time comes, it comes. That's how life goes.

At this age, I no longer look forward in anticipation of getting older, but I don't wish to be younger either. So far, the first month of 23 has treated me pretty well. I think I'm just gonna ride it out and see where this 23 business takes me.

Currently playing on my Winamp: A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It
Can I kick it? Yes you can!

Also, I'm gonna bite Vira's idea and put a pic from school on my page. It's Chras, P, Anuj, Greg, Cindy, and Me outside Foellinger after a CLCIV 100 test. For kicks and giggles, I'll also put up a picture of me tackling Chras about 5 minutes later.