Randomness

I stole this title off of one of my favorite Thai people's blogs. I figured that I have been writing a little too formally lately, like too in depth about stuff, that I should write some of my more scattered thoughts. Such as, Thai people are cool. I don't think I've met a Thai person I didn't like. I hope people aren't insulted by my gross generalization of an entire ethnic group, but for the most part, I like how Thais are almost always chill... well marinated, you might say. And I think it's hilarious how they all have nicknames and I have no clue what to call them sometimes.

I miss the old TV shows I used to watch. I haven't watched Simpsons regularly for at least a few years. Those classic seasons of Simpsons are some of the best quality TV ever made. I also used to watch Home Improvement, Full House, Saved By the Bell, and Leave it to Beaver too, with my sister and my dad (my mom doesn't really watch TV). Pretty strange, eh? And last night, I watched an episode of Friends, an old one in syndication. I forget how good those seasons were. Yeah, it was kind of cheap soap-opera type stuff for a while, but they were all well written and worth watching. After I went to college, I kind of stopped watching any sitcoms or series and switched to late night Sportscenter reruns and MTV's After Hours.

Do they still have After Hours? I remember the days when me and the boys would sit around and watch videos at those unhealthy late hours and play "next video." Basically it amounts to predicting what the next video would be shown, and if you guessed right, you get a point. What a ghetto game, but it was seriously fun for hours. Especially after finishing a few hours working on an ECE problem set or combined with some beer and some heavy bouts of Goldeneye or NFL Blitz.

Only a handful of friends know what I'm talking about. I suddenly miss those days we would walk from IT to ISR at 4 in the morning. Or the time we waited early outside Record Service to meet the Pumpkins and then I got too tired and went back to sleep. I miss being a freshman, going to shoot pool instead of class, playing Starcraft a couple hours before a final exam, eating breakfast only after relatively unnecessary allnighters. I love my friends so much. All of you mean a lot, a whole lot to me.

I look back at how I always was scared of girls. I never knew what to say to them, how to act in front of them. Actually, I still don't, and I'm still pretty scared of girls, except maybe I can hide it better now. It's a wonder I have a girlfriend right now. I bet anyone who knew me back then is scratching their head wondering how that happened. I'm still just an awkward boy and I don't have a high opinion of myself, I honestly don't know why any girl would actually like me. I often see guys who seem to be so much better than me, who have so much more to offer than I do, but for some reason they have not found the right girl yet. That makes me feel all the more lucky, all the more thankful.

I wonder whether I have changed since I started seeing Olivia. I always promised myself that I would not ever diss my friends or my family because of a girl, and I hope I have followed through with that vow. Bros before hoes, they say... But I've found, as many others have, that maintaining a relationship is much harder than expected. I have also learned the hard lesson that it's not possible to please everyone. I don't wish to prioritize my relationships, but at times I am faced with that difficult choice in some way or another. Sometimes people leave me little choice. I'm really thankful for everyone who understands me enough to know that I try my best to do the right thing in every situation. I hate to make someone feel hurt or dissed, but unfortunately it has happened, and I don't think it's always my fault. There's not a lot I can do about those who choose to take things personally and assume that I'm trying to be rude or something. Still, I can't help but feel sad when any of my friends is upset cause of me.

I thank all of the true friends who aren't afraid to tell me something other than what I want to hear. Especially the girls I know who patiently listen to me talk about relationship type issues and give me good advice, because I'm pretty clueless. It's always nice to hear nice things, but there are times when it's important to be brutally honest.

A warning to anyone who knows me: be careful when you want to give me a hard time about something. I'm generally a very patient person and I try to be fair to others. I expect nothing less from my friends. If for some reason you feel like I have grievously wronged you, please think about it twice before you decide to attack me or confront me about it. I almost always give people the benefit of the doubt - so give me the benefit of the doubt. Try to see things from my perspective rather than assuming the worst. I hope people who have known me for more than a couple years would understand me better by now. I may seem passive most of the time, but don't take this for granted. Like I said, I'm a patient person, but once someone crosses the line, I won't hesitate to fight back and defend myself. Don't make me turn my back.

Friendship is a lot of give and take. Err on the side of giving more, don't be a taker all the time.

I wonder why so many people seem so desperate to be in a relationship all the time. It's like they can't be happy unless they are with a girlfriend/boyfriend. You shouldn't base your happiness entirely on your relationships. Worry about your own life first instead of expecting someone else to be the answer to all your problems, you will end up a stronger and happier person that way. I never had a girlfriend up till my last year of college, and I somehow did fine all those years. If I can do it, you can. And as good as Olivia is, she hasn't made every single thing right in my life, nor should I expect her to. At some point, (cue cheesy music) we all need somebody to lean on, but it's like we have all been listening to "I Need A Girl" parts I and II way too much, as awesome as P. Diddy is (snicker snicker).

I haven't played Starcraft in ages, it seems. I wonder if my skills have deteriorated severely. I haven't played any video games lately, come to think of it. I briefly considered getting a PS2 or GameCube, but only briefly. Maybe I am outgrowing those things, if that is so, I never thought the day would come. Video games have been a part of me my whole life it seems, since the days of Atari or original Nintendo. I know, how typically nerdy.

It's been a while since I've measured my own height, I think I'm close to 6 ft right now. But no matter what, I think I'll always feel short. Up through junior high and much of high school even, I was one of the shortest kids in class. I think it's hereditary because my dad said he was the same growing up, but my growth spurt didn't come till early high school and I feel like I'm still kind of growing now, at age 22. It's very possible that I could grow another foot and still feel short, because I grew up always feeling like I was short. Well, the growing another foot part isn't all that "possible," I'm just saying, you know...

My sister likes to snack a lot. She's always making popcorn, craving some junk food, making ramen noodles, and eating my candy. Me, on the other hand, I've had these fruit rollups, fruit by the foot, and Jolly Rancher chews in my room all summer and never touched it.

"Being there for someone" is one of the most underrated things, I've found. You can be the most dependable friend to someone, emotionally stable, and consistently loyal, but few people truly appreciate this much. The friends I've kept throughout the years are not the ones who always do things for me or the ones that hang out with me all the time. It's knowing that someone won't change, will be there for you if you need them. "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

One of the best things about girls is that they smell good. One of the bad things is that they usually suck at video games. Except maybe for Puzzle Fighter.

It may be many years before I buy a house, but when I do, I want marble floors in my bathroom. Something about marble is just cool, especially for bathroom floors. Maybe it is extremely expensive, but I don't care if the rest of the house is made out of dog poop, as long as the bathroom is marble I will be happy.

My old baseball/basketball cards are probably worth a decent amount by now, but I don't think I will ever sell them. I miss the days when I used to pour so much time, money, and effort into buying cards and getting special cases and sleeves to store them. It probably sounds overly sappy, but they have so much sentimental value that I want to keep them until I'm old and then pass them down to my kids. Every once in a while, I'll go back and look through them and remember when I was young, when opening a new pack of cards was the most exciting thing, and when Todd Van Poppel was a Hot Prospect.

I've always believed that if you want to talk smack about someone, you should be ready to say it to their face. Ripping on someone to another person is a real pussy thing to do. Occasionally I will catch myself doing that, but hopefully I don't do it too much. I try to avoid ripping on people too much, period.

Did I mention I like Thai people? I like people who are laid back in general, like me, and like Thai people. Life is no fun when people get mad about every little thing, and it's pretty downright miserable when you surround yourself with drama. Everyone could do themselves and everyone around them a huge favor by being more chill and lightening up a little.