And the dream is... over

If the latest news reports I'm hearing are correct, Britney Spears got engaged (and it's not one of those Vegas weddings) to her dancer-boyfriend guy. It's been a rumor for the past few days, and I don't know whether it's official now or what, but I think Reuters is a pretty reliable source:

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=5518983

With this news, a part of me has now died.

It's not that I actually thought I was ever gonna marry her. That's not really why this news makes me sad. But if this engagement thing is for real, I think of it more like the end of an era. For me personally, it feels like Britney is leaving me behind to start a new life without me. And now all I've got left is the memories.

Yeah, call me a flamer if you want, I don't care. I've already taken plenty of crap for being a Britney Spears fan, it doesn't affect me anymore. It appears that with this news, my days of being ridiculed (well, at least about Britney) are nearing its end anyways.

I know I've written about Britney more than a few times on this blog. I just did a search on my Blogger account and her name comes up on 37 posts. In fact, I've been writing about her long before I even had a blog, since back in the day when we updated .plans on our Students UIUC UNIX accounts.

To be exact, my happy relationship with Britney began freshman year of college at Chras's place in Illini Tower during the wee hours of the night. Probably after playing a lot of Craft or Goldeneye, we were watching MTV when they showed a "Buzzworthy" video that happened to be "Baby One More Time". Me, Chras, and Anuj had no idea who she was, but we were intrigued and did a search for Britney Spears on the Web. The search turned up about 2 results, one of which I think was made by her mom or something. My, how things have changed in the 5-6 years since then.

Baby One More Time was followed by Sometimes, and then You Drive Me Crazy and From the Bottom of My Broken Heart. As the quality songs and videos kept coming, I became a bigger and bigger fan. Then just as her first CD started to run out of hits, Oops, she did it again. With more great stuff like Lucky and Stronger, Britney quickly entered, as the Sports Guy would call it, the Pantheon. Her hotness easily propelled her up to the top of my Top 10 Girls list, where she's been for as long as I can remember.

Yet it wasn't just the catchy songs or stunning looks that made her great. No, since the very beginning, there was always something special about this girl. I still don't know exactly what, but she's definitely been more than just another pop star or another hot chick in my mind.

I guess eventually, it had to end. And to be honest, it's not as though I couldn't see it coming. Her songs started to get crappier, videos not as good, and her performances unfortunately became more and more about shock value than they should have. In her personal life, things got weirder and more ridiculous to the point where it would be nearly impossible to take anything about her seriously at all. And even though she's still #1 on my list, I have to say that she has gotten less hot with age. Maybe I should have known it was over when she cancelled her concert last week, a concert I was looking forward to going to and only the 2nd time I would've had the chance to see her perform live.

So it has now come down to this. She's "only" getting engaged, not like she's quitting her career, committing suicide like Kurt Cobain, or getting shot like 2pac or Biggie. But I think it marks the official end of the Britney I knew and loved. She might go on to put out some more successful CDs or even have a good acting career, but it won't ever be the same.

In my own life, it marks yet another sign of getting older and another step away from the good old college days. Sad, but what can you do? Life goes on.

To end my overly dramatic blog, some Smashing Pumpkins lyrics:

Nothing left to say
And all I've left to do
Is run away
From you
And she led me on, down
With secrets I can't keep
Close your eyes and sleep
Don't wait up for me
Hush now don't you speak
To me

Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, heart, your heart
So now
I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray my tears
To anyone caught in our ruse of fools

One last kiss from me, yeah
One last kiss good night