I went to the dentist over the weekend for a checkup and cleaning. First time in at least 3-4 years. I had been avoiding it for a long time, mostly because I was so afraid that I would have to get my wisdom teeth pulled.

The visit went alright, except for all the pain and bloodiness involved. Actually, the dentist told me I had "nice teeth", except I needed to get them cleaned regularly. Most importantly, she decided that my wisdom teeth did not need to be pulled. YAY

The other day I was at Marshall Fields and decided to buy a dress shirt. I wasn't sure what my neck and arm sizes were, so I had one of the sales guys measure me. As he was measuring my neck, he was like "wow, you have a really small neck." Olivia was also there and agreed with him. Made me feel so inadequate. Nobody wants to be a pencil-neck.

For future reference, if anyone wants to buy me a fitted dress shirt, my measurements are: 15 1/2, 32.

Okay fine, it's actually 15 1/4, 32.

I was browsing the internet the other day and saw this exercise video called "Yoga for Wimps". Probably a knockoff of those "_____ for Dummies" books. But apparently this is one of the top-selling videos on the market today. I'm thinking to myself, maybe I should try selling a video called "Math for Nerds".

Every once in a while I open up my old high school yearbook and flip through the memories. It's a little scary to think that 6-7 years have already passed since then. One thing I noticed is that the girls at our high school were kind of ugly in general. A few were good, but they were the exception, not the rule. Maybe it's just my imagination, but I think high school girls today are much more attractive than they were back when I was 18 or so. Sluttier too, but more attractive nonetheless.

Anyways, seeing a lot of the old faces, and reading the things they wrote in my yearbook, made me wonder where are all these people today and what are they doing with their lives? What happened to the guy who joined the Army, the quiet girl who went to the small artsy college, or the Mexicans I only saw in gym class and working at WalMart? Did the kid everybody suspected was gay finally come out of the closet, and if so, is he one of those super-flamboyant homos that I can totally picture him being? Which of the plain-looking girls got hotter and which of the hot girls got fatter in college?

If any of the people from my high school were wondering about me, I think I am exactly where they would guess that I would have ended up, based on the person I was back then. Graduated with an engineering degree after 4 years and now working as an engineer. Still skinny, nerdy looking, except my hair is a little shorter.

While having dinner at Chinatown the other day, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in a long time. Actually, she was the girl I went to senior prom with back in the day, but also a pretty close family friend since about 7th grade through high school. It makes me happy when I meet old friends and I see that they haven't completely changed since the last time I saw them. As opposed to suddenly learning that they are married, they look way older or fatter than what you remember, or they've been through all sorts of dramatic experiences during the last few years. "Yeah, I OD'ed on heroin in college, then went through rehab, then I got diagnosed with cancer, but underwent all this treatment and now I'm like a new man with a fresh outlook on life". Hearing something like that would freak me out. It's definitely a reassuring and comforting feeling when you can see that not everybody and everything changes as fast in this world as you may have thought.

Then earlier today I was reading Andy's Xanga page and he mentioned something about the days when we took a consumer economics one summer in high school. All the memories of those times came back, including the songs like Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" which he mentioned, riding in his cop-car (Ford Crown Victoria), or getting lunch every day at Taco Bell and trying to collect all the pieces needed to win the Batmobile.

The subject of memory is something I've been pondering more since I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a few weeks ago (great movie by the way). The thought of forgetting certain memories is something that has always really scared me, maybe more than anything else.

Like when I see all the many kinds of bad stuff that happens to people when they get old, the thing I probably fear the most is getting Alzheimers and losing my memory. Not that I would ever choose to go blind, become bald, have heart problems, etc., but I think I'd honestly rather suffer any one of those things, than to become senile and forget the things and the people that were important to me.

I mean, when all is said and done in our lives, what will we have left to hold onto, besides the memories of all our experiences? The things we experience on a day-to-day basis, and the relationships we have, those things will all change as time passes and the world moves on around us. You can take away my health, my possessions, even my loved ones, and eventually all of those things will indeed be taken from us. But if we can hold on to the memories forever, then those things will continue to have meaning and shape our lives, transcending the effects of time.

This got a little deeper than I intended, but hopefully it made some sense. Maybe I tend to value memories much more than other people, I don't know. And it kind of goes against the point of the movie, but I really do feel like they define so much of who I am and what my relationships mean to me.

If nothing else, it's highly therapeutic to relive old times by remembering them in my mind. Just the other day, me, Chras, P, and Vic were talking about one incident that happened freshman year of college in our DiffEq class, and it brought a huge smile to my face just to think about what we remember happening that day. When all the memories come flooding back at once, it's almost like a natural high.

I guess this is one of the main reasons why I have maintained this blog for as long as I have, because much of it is basically like a written version of my memory. Just in case my mind starts to leak someday, I can still dig into my archives and remember the things that I have experienced along the way.

On a completely unrelated topic, I just watched this new show on MTV "You've Got A Friend". What a horrible show. Basically all it proves is that people will do pretty much anything if it gets them money and/or TV time.

White Castle. It's WHAT YOU CRAVE.