Chocolat

I got a email forward from an old friend today called "The Man Code" (the email, not the friend). Normally, I don't read forwards, but because this friend doesn't send stuff that often, I figured it would be pretty good. Basically, it was a list of rules that guys should follow when it comes to stuff like girls and beer. It's short but amusing and for anyone who's interested in a quick read, I can forward it to you.

This "Man Code" thing was especially funny to me because the first rule on the list was "Thou shalt not rent the movie Chocolat." The thing is, I actually did get that movie this past year, but I will explain. Mostly it happened because I was picking out movies with my sister and girlfriend, you might say that was a big mistake right there. When you are outnumbered in gender, you're basically screwed. But before you start judging me anyways for succumbing to the choosing of Chocolat, let me say that girls in general are impossible to pick movies with. Either they have seen every movie on the shelf already, or they're not "in the mood for that kind of movie," or they find that either Denise Richards too much of a hoe or some actor is too "crusty" for that movie to be rented.

So what happened that night was, as always, we couldn't decide what movie to get. I think Chocolat was one of the recent releases or whatever, but I guess we were standing by that section looking kind of bewildered and indecisive. Then, for some reason, this one guy took it upon himself to tell us that "Chocolat? That's a pretty good movie." I gave him a "ummm... right" look but he continued, "It's not a chick movie at all, I highly suggest you guys get it." I guess in a moment of weakness, and going against my better judgement, I was like, "ok, why not, it will save us 20 more minutes of figuring out what to get."

As the story goes, we watched the movie, and it wasn't horrible like I figured it would be. I've always believed that the main factor in determining whether or not people like a movie is a ratio of their expectations to the actual quality. So, since I thought it would suck, the movie exceeded those expectations and I thought it was alright (same could go the other way, everyone expected Star Wars Episode I to be awesome, and even though it was a pretty good movie in my opinion, people said it was terrible). Still, contrary to what Blockbuster-Man said, Chocolat was very much a chick movie. I'd rather be shot than have to watch it with other guys. I don't know why that random guy told us it wasn't a chick flick. Maybe he was playing a cruel joke on me, but I don't think that was it. He didn't seem like the gay type either. I figure he was just dumb, or maybe "dropped his balls somewhere and forgot to pick them up," as a cruder friend of mine would probably put it.

OWW and i just squirted some juice in my eye trying to eat corn on the cob.

The moral of the story here, if there is one, is two-fold. First, do not listen to the recommendations of a stranger you have never met when it comes to choosing a movie to rent. You can't just assume that other people (who you know nothing about) have your best interests in mind, and more likely than not, you would have been better off picking a movie yourself. Second, at all costs, resist the urge to help other people out in the video store, no matter how badly it looks like they need help. Mind your own forking business. If, for some inexplicable reason, you absolutely must say something, or if some people at Blockbuster break that rule I just explained above and ask you for help, try to be as discreet as possible. Avoid recommending movies like Chocolat, which I consider to be more "of questionable nature." Typically, Adam Sandler movies are pretty good choices, unless it's a 60 year old Chinese grandma asking, but then again, I've never seen any of those at the video store. Otherwise, a polite shrug and "sorry, I don't know what to tell you" will do. If you have problems remembering these two things, simply refer to my Chocolat story. Because of my ignorance, disaster struck and the Man Code was broken.