Routine

When I first stepped into the working world, one of the words that really scared me was "routine". Hearing that word made me picture an old grandpa in a nursing home, who needs to do the same thing and follow the same schedule every day, while having very little variety (or none at all) in his lifestyle. The word also brought to mind the image of a 9-5 corporate peon, as portrayed in the movie Office Space. Waking up each day at the same time to the same alarm clock, just so you can struggle through rush hour traffic to get to work, where you have to deal with the same annoying people and do all the same monotonous chores for 8 hours, then going home tired, having a beer, and collapsing in bed out of sheer exhaustion, only to restart the process the next morning.

Since neither of these lifestyles were particularly appealing to me, I made the promise to myself that I would never let my own life reach such a point of repetition and perpetual tedium. Especially being so fresh out of college, a time when I thoroughly enjoyed a most "unroutine" lifestyle, few things worried me more than getting sucked into a job and a life that was anything close to resembling a routine.

It's now been more than a year since that time, and as I stop to evaulate my current life, I'd have to say that it's a lot different than what I thought I wanted my life to be, based upon last year's standards. Despite consciously trying to avoid turning my life into a routine, I've found that a great deal of what I do every day has nevertheless become exactly that which I originally feared.

From Monday to Friday, my alarm wakes me up at the same time every morning, and I go to sleep at pretty much the same time every night too. I eat the same cereal for breakfast, and basically the same sandwich, chips, and juice for lunch. I shower at the same time, check people's blogs and other websites in pretty much the same order, and I'm even finding myself watching the same TV shows on certain nights of the week, something I never used to do. Even my weekends seem to have some set schedule these days. Saturday, sleep in and go home to Darien in the afternoon, then hang out with friends and/or Olivia. And then Sundays have strictly been a combination of church, football, and cards.

Now, without going through every single detail of my daily schedule, let's just say that it's all a far cry from the days at U of I. Even when I had classes every morning, I always considered waking up for them to be purely optional on my part (in hindsight, not a great policy). I'd eat an average of 1-2 meals a day, if that, and they usually consisted of either Ramen, frozen pizza, or Rice Garden. I'd go to sleep and wake up at any given time, weekdays or weekends regardless. And I rarely watched much TV other than late night Sportscenter reruns or MTV After Hours/Dawn Patrol.

As I've said before, and I'm sure most of my friends would agree, it was this exact characteristic of unpredictability and freedom that made college such a great time. I know that I will always miss those days when the concepts of "schedule" and "routine" seemed as foreign as Chinese TPS reports (don't ask me what that is supposed to mean, I don't know).

But as much as my habits and lifestyle have moved away from the old college ways, I'm surprised to find that I'm not as bothered or worried about this as I originally thought I would be. In fact, I think I'm actually subconsciously starting to crave more routine in my current life. Part of it is, there's a certain comfort in waking up and knowing that there's nothing I'm going to encounter today, that I haven't already encountered and gotten through plenty of times already in the past. Not that every day is exactly the same for me, and I still do face new things all the time. But following a good routine just seems to make life easier, less stressful, and a lot more productive overall. And that is definitely a good thing in my book.

I guess living within the guidelines of my routine means that the days of chaotic college life will be officially left behind. In a way, it does make me sad to let go of all the spontaneity and lack of boundaries that I enjoyed so much. It means there won't be nearly as many wacky stories with me pulling allnighters, sleeping for 16 hours straight on Chras's bed, playing Starcraft or shooting pool instead of studying for a final, or going to class the morning after your 21st birthday. But, it also means that I won't be constantly "learning the hard way" what it's like to work a long 8 hour day after making some unwise decisions the night before. And you know what? I think I'm getting older and mature enough to the point where I'm willing to give up the crazy experiences and the highs and lows for some good old consistency and steadiness in my life.

Of course, I think from my point of view, I can consider my routine lifestyle to be a positive thing largely because it is mostly by my own voluntary choice. I'm still quite wary of ever unwittingly becoming a "slave to routine", and I do believe that if I had my daily schedule imposed on me, my thoughts on the whole thing would be much different. I mean, it's not as if I'm like that guy in Office Space who is forced into a rut by the demands of his job and everything around me. Nor am I the nursing home grandpa, whose habits have become so ingrained through years of repetition that they have formed an unending and unbreakable cycle. Well, not yet, at least.

Maybe it's all a matter of perspective, but I really don't mind living a semi-repetitive life, as long as I feel like I'm still in control and I'm still happy doing what I do. Even if it makes me dull or boring, and people call me "old man" for always having to go home by 11 or earlier, I'm fine with that. Like I said before, I'm getting too old to always be having to recover from the results of my own poor judgement. After all, I'm a boring guy anyways, so hey, I might as well just accept that fact and make the most out of it by getting enough sleep and living healthier while I'm at it, right?

*****

Yesterday I "got in the zone" for $9.88 at Target (that means I bought the new Britney Spears album). I didn't realize Target sold CD's that cheap, I've been getting ripped off at Best Buy all this time!

Anyways, I've only listened to the first 6 or 7 tracks, but so far I'm liking this CD. I was kind of expecting it to suck, after the stuff I've been seeing and hearing on the MTV and ABC specials, and also her song with Madonna blows. But, I'm pretty impressed with the sound and style of the rest of the songs I'm hearing. I'm glad it's not as overtly raunchy as the media has been saying, but it does remind me somewhat of Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope in its edgy qualities. Up to this point, I definitely like this album better than the last CD, which had way too much of the Neptunes influence in my opinion (I never really got into the Neptunes, I thought they were grossly overrated and I still don't like Pharrell's stuff, but I'm sure others will disagree). So yeah, those are my thoughts on the first half of the album, hopefully the second half will not disappoint.

*****

My mom and dad are celebrating their 25th anniversary today. In typical fobby Chinese fashion, they are choosing to commemorate this occasion by inviting me to eat with them at Todai.

I don't know how it is in other families, but having grown up under my parents and watching them go through all the tough times of life, I know that making their marriage last 25 years is no small accomplishment. I feel really lucky and happy to see them reach this point. I know my sister can attest to seeing the many times when everything seemed like it was so close to falling apart or blowing up, but somehow everything stuck together through it all.

For me personally, in this age when divorced and separated couple are more common than those that stay married, seeing my own parents make their marriage work for 25 years really gives me a reason to believe and have faith that I myself can someday get married and make it last too.