Least Inspirational Asians

Among the cheesier websites I have been to lately is http://www.i-am-asian.com, apparently run by McDonald's as part of its stupid "I'm lovin' it" campaign. Some of it was so lame, I didn't know if I should laugh or be mad about it.

I followed one of the links from that site to another site dedicated to Asians, where they had these lists like "Top 20 Most Inspirational Athletes" or "Top 50 Most Inspirational Asians of All Time". I went through a couple of these lists and while they included a lot of good Asians, reading through them kind of made me realize that we don't really have a lot to look up to in the Asian American community. For example, Russell Wong and Jason Scott Lee were pretty high up on the All Time list, and while they aren't bad actors, they aren't exactly "inspirational" as far as I'm concerned. And on the athlete's list, they actually had the gall to list Byung-Hyun Kim. I was like, are you facking kidding me??! Why don't they just go ahead and list that Japanese gay-porn guy that's trying out for the Cleveland Indians too while they're at it?

Anyways, since the subject of "Most Inspirational Asians" has already been covered too many times, I decided to make my own list of "Least Inspirational Asians". Not trying to hate on my own race, but I think my point is that not just any publicity is good publicity for Asians. Just cause they make it on TV or become a household name, doesn't make it a good thing. Now, I didn't spend a lot of time narrowing down this list, so I just listed the first 5 that came to mind. If anyone has any others to point out, feel free.

5. Chad Hugo - I never liked the Neptunes to begin with, but the sad fact is that he continues to be little more than the grossly overlooked member of an overrated 2-person band. I don't know how he is, musical talent wise, but most people don't even know who the guy is so it doesn't really matter. And if they do, it's always pretty much just as "Pharrell's sidekick", more or less. It's a very typical example of the way Asians are almost always portrayed as secondary characters throughout this society, that we rarely if ever are capable of taking a leading role (to be fair, the same problem faces pretty much every other minority, not just Asians).

4. Parry Shen - I don't have anything personal against the guy, it's just that seeing his life does the opposite of inspire me. After getting the lead role in the first respectable "Asian American" movie in this country, I guess he didn't have "Better Luck Tomorrow" because the next thing you know, he's playing a scrub character on a Dell commercial. Instead of showing everyone that an Asian American actor can succeed in the industry without whoring himself out (see Jackie Chan), his career demonstrates that the opportunities out there are realistically very few. By the way, I would have included his Better Luck Tomorrow co-star John Cho on this list, but at least his career kind of went in the opposite direction, going from the "MILF guy" to the "got-his-head-bashed-in guy".

3. Lucy Liu - Yeah, she's successful, but at what cost? Her characters do very little for the Asian community other than to perpetuate the chinky-eyed, white-washed image of Asian girls. It's not a positive thing at all if you ask me.

2. Jackie Chan - In the All-Time Most Inspirational list on that site I talked about, Bruce Lee was listed as #2, and I think that was much deserved. Not that he made Asians look awesome in every way, but in light of the time period he was in and the impact he was able to make, he was definitely inspirational. Unfortunately, I think Jackie Chan has caused us all to take a step backward from that. I won't deny that his movies are entertaining, and yes he is successful, but again, at what cost? The common stereotype of Asian guys is that we're all short, have fobby accents, and lack any sexuality or sexual identity; Jackie Chan reinforces all those things. I think a lot of the blame falls on him for the fact that, such as in the case of Parry Shen, Asian actors in general can't be taken seriously in the mainstream. Basically it's saying to any aspiring Asian guys out there that unless you're a goofy jump-kicking kung-fu man, there's no place for you to ever really succeed in Hollywood.

1. William Hung - I don't think I need to explain this one that much. Watching this kid do "She Bangs" on American Idol is arguably reason enough for no Asian to ever want to open his/her mouth to sing, ever again. And to top it all off, he's an engineering student. Way to represent, dawg.

*****

2004 Chicago Auto Show

Had a chance to go to the Auto Show over the weekend. It was painful to see all the pretty cars, not so much because they were too rich for my blood, but because they were all shiny. Have I mentioned before that I hate salt?

One of the cars that I sat in and impressed me most was the BMW 6-series coupe. The interior looks cool, the body style is nice, and there's this really cool sunroof-type thing that basically makes up the entire roof panel in the front. I didn't get to see how it retracts or (or if it does at all), but it definitely looked sweet either way. Man... what an all-around bad ass car. Very very drool-worthy.

Speaking of drool-worthy, we saw Andrew Firestone (the Bachelor, 3rd season) in person. Nobody else seemed to recognize him or know who he was, but it was definitely him. He looked a lot skinnier and younger than on TV, at least from what I remember. For a few exhilirating moments, we were standing about 2 feet away from this guy. Well, I guess it wasn't all that exhilirating for me cause I don't swing that way. If only it were Britney instead... one can only wish.