Moving Out

As I get ready to move out from my mom and dad's house later this week, it's starting to slowly hit me that I'm gonna be essentially "on my own" in the real world for the first time in my life. I mean, ever since I was born, there's always been the "parental umbrella" over my head to protect me, but up until this point, I've never truly and completely stepped out from under that umbrella.

I look back on the past few years, and in many ways I could say that I've already been becoming more independent throughout the years. The way I view the whole thing is like it's climbing a flight of stairs. At the top of the staircase is the "real world" and complete independence. As you move forward in life, you climb these steps one at a time until you reach that top level. Some people climb them faster than others, but most of us eventually get there one way or another.

For example, we all started out as babies. We need mommy and daddy for everything: not just to put milk and food straight in our mouths, but also to put us in our crib, to roll us around in our stroller, even to burp us and change our diapers.

Then at some point, we learn to walk. We get potty trained. We figure out how to feed ourselves using spoons and chew and all that stuff. Those being the first steps we take, obviously, and from then on I'm sure you all get the picture.

Well, I guess right now I'm taking this opportunity to reflect on my own life, my own set of stairs, except let's skip a few steps ahead to high school. Now, for most of my later years in high school, my dad worked in Taiwan and me and my sis stayed in Darien. Meanwhile, my mom went back and forth between two countries to take care of her husband on one end and her kids on the other.

During this time, I got a little taste of what it meant to be "man of the house". Such as, being the one to check on funny noises downstairs when it's late at night and mom and sister are too scared to go. Funny but true. Later on, since no one else was around to do it, I would experience the responsibilities of taking care of a house. Teaching myself how to fix the broken garage door, fix up aluminum siding, maintaining the lawn, things like that. Little things, but add them up to a big step for me.

There were the college years, when I moved away to school and lived apart from mommy and daddy for 9 months out of the year. That gave me a taste of the adult freedom that I never knew existed. Nobody forcing me to study, no one telling me where I could and couldn't go, what I could and couldn't do. At the same time, I learned some hard lessons that there were consequences to every one of my decisions. Another big step.

After graduating, and eventually finding a job, I could for the first time consider myself financially independent. Opening my own bank account, depositing it with paychecks earned from my own hard work, and, just a couple days ago, filing my own taxes. Yet another big step, and now I'm close enough to see the top.

Well, come this Sunday, when I move out, start paying my own rent, my own bills, etc., I guess that means I'll finally be taking that last step on this flight of stairs to reach the top. I don't really know what to think about that, the fact hasn't sunk in yet.

I know I'm very grateful to my mom and dad for being there throughout the years. They are the only ones who have loved me and cared for me unconditionally for the past 23 years. They're the ones that have pushed me forward throughout these 23 years and helped me to take each of the steps on my way up to where I am today. And I know that it's gonna be really hard for them to watch me take this last step on my own.

*nerd alert*
As for me, I'm picturing the scene in the beginning of Return of the Jedi. The part when Luke goes to visit Yoda, expecting to complete his training before going to fight Darth Vader and the Emperor. At that point, Yoda dies, and Luke is like "sweet, I guess I'm on my own then. Hope I don't get raped by Darth again." Or, in the Lion King when Simba watches his dad die in the stampede. Suddenly, he realizes that he'll soon be tested to see how he does on his own for the first time.

I guess it's like for the last 23 years, my mom and dad have given me all they can, taught me all they could, and now all that's left for them to do is to watch and hope that it was enough for me to survive without them. Well, I think they've done a more than admirable job of preparing me for this. Because of their hard work, I've had opportunities to succeed where they never did. Thanks to the things they've already done for me, I don't think I'll ever have to worry about survival.

In reality, I'm actually making this whole thing a lot more dramatic than it really is. I tend to do that when I write blogs, but oh well. I'll move out on Sunday, my life will change, but a lot will stay the same. It remains to be seen to what extent things will be different, but I'll just take it all as it comes.

One thing I can say for sure: many more thoughts related to this will follow in the coming days/months, and they will be recorded in this blog for you all to read.