Weak Stream

Haha.... Bill Simmons's take on the ads for BPH, which some of you might recall I wrote about a while back:

Common side effects from Flomax are "runny nose, dizziness and a decrease in semen; upon standing, a sudden decrease of blood pressure may occur, rarely resulting in fainting." Call me crazy, but wouldn't you rather have a weak stream of pee over any of those other symptoms? We should vote on this on ESPN.com's main page.

*****

I think I've had the following conversation about 5 times during the last couple weeks (with a different friend each time):

(The song by Brooke Hogan with Paul Wall comes on the radio)
Friend: This song is pretty catchy, I kinda like it.
Me: You know who sings it right?
Friend: No, who?
Me: Hulk Hogan's daughter.
Friend: What??! No way, are you serious?
Me: Yep.
(awkward silence ensues)
Friend: Wow. I did not know that.

Seriously, same exact conversation, just different friend. I understand though, that knowledge can be a pretty powerful revelation when you find out. I know because I experienced the feeling myself about a month ago. I, too, thought the song was catchy, until I realized who was singing it.

It doesn't help that the video is retarded and features our heroine Brooke "battling" (if you can call it that) some other skanky girl on the dance floor. Now whenever I hear the song and/or see the video, I can actually feel myself becoming less of a person. To share this feeling with all my many readers, enjoy below. Prepare to get served:



Yep. I think I finally reached my limit. The guy who obsessed about Britney Spears for years, liked O-Town and Eden's Crush when they were hot, draws the line at Hulk Hogan's daughter singing with Paul Wall rapping. Actually, I think Danity Kane has also crossed that line too, so yeah, they didn't make the cut either. Sorry girls. Don't worry though, I still bump that Ciara song (with Charmillionaire) in my car every morning on the way to work. Now that is a catchy song.

*****

I know I told myself (and everyone on this blog) that I was done with watching Laguna Beach, but what do you know, I got sucked into another season. At first it was easy to not care about the show, because none of the people in this season were that interesting or attractive, but MTV just plays that show so freaking much, and there's nothing else to watch sometimes. After catching a mini-marathon of LB this weekend, that Tessa girl kind of grew on me. She's not at the level of Kristin, but still something about her has that certain charm.

Maybe it helps that she's half-Asian, and I feel bad for her that all the other girls seem to hate on her for no reason, except jealousy. You can almost hear them saying to each other, "How dare she steal 'our' boys attention away from us? She doesn't even have blonde hair and blue eyes!" (or in the case of Cami, "disgusting rolls of body fat and the worst personality ever"). So yeah... even if Tessa's "character" does nothing for my race except continue to portray the "exotic looking Asian girl" stereotype, I'm still pulling for her out of sympathy.

Another thing drawing me into the show is the love triangle centering around Cameron. It is so inexplicable and ridiculous that I just have to see how this thing turns out. Actually, I guess since it involves 4 people (Cameron, Jessica, Tessa, and Kyndra), it's not technically a love "triangle". "Love quadrilateral" doesn't quite have the same ring though.

Of course, one of the reasons I decided to stop watching LB in the first place is because the show was definitely starting to feel too staged. I know the producers have to stir up stuff to keep things interesting and boost ratings, but I wish they wouldn't insult my intelligence too much. For example, the "scene" where Tessa supposedly sees Cameron cuddling with Jessica at his birthday party and storms out, is pretty blatantly obvious that it's spliced and edited to look that way. I really doubt that scene ever happened.

I guess by being 26 and watching a show about spoiled teenagers, I'm basically asking for my intelligence to be insulted, but still. I notice stuff like this as I'm watching.

Mock me if you will, but I bet you're still humming that Brooke Hogan song right now.