Anglers Fish Human Head Out of Atlantic
Of all the bizarre and disturbing stories I've read, this has to be up there near the top. Not only the fact that fishers found a human head, which is weird and disgusting enough on its own. But the guys' reaction to keep fishing for a couple hours after finding the head is at least as messed up of a story.
"we decided we could either run in and ruin a perfectly good day or we could fish our way in ... now, if it had been a freshly severed head, it would have been a different story"
Ok, I don't consider myself to be a big wuss, and if I pulled in a human head while fishing, fresh or not, I would have most definitely been too freaked to continue fishing. At the very least I would have vomited on sight. Most people I know would probably say the same. These guys just stuck it in a garbage bag and kept on fishing. What were they hoping for, to find more severed heads?
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Worthless Stuff
Last week I wrote on how worthless weathermen are. Well, lately it seems like a lot of other stuff is worthless too. Like traffic reports, for instance. We should all know by now that every day is gonna be the same thing because the same thing happens every day. If it's rush hour, all highways will be congested no matter how many times you listen to "Traffic on the 8's". So basically, they could play a recording of the same report every day at the given times, and nobody would be the wiser. In that sense, it's even worse than weather reports I talked about before. At least there isn't a "Traffic Channel" on Cable TV and reporters don't get billboards like Tom Skilling, so I'm not as jealous and bitter about it.
The other thing is, I usually hear traffic reports on the radio, when I'm already on the road. And by the time the guy tells me a place is congested, it's probably way too late. Either I'm happy I didn't take that road, or I'm sitting there, moving at a snail's pace and listening to the traffic man mock me by telling me what I already know. What's the point of traffic reports, then? I guess it's just to make people feel like they have some sort of advantage over others in beating rush hour. Trust me, it doesn't make any difference. Rush hour is rush hour, it sucks and if there was a way to beat it, everyone would be doing it by now. Go ahead and listen to those traffic reports, though, maybe it will at least make you feel better knowing that thousands of other drivers are suffering along with you.
Look through any magazine rack and you will find all sorts of magazines. Men's fitness magazines fascinate me a lot, because every month there is a new issue, and every month on the cover they have some new fantastic way to get "rock hard abs." Seriously, every month, every issue, same old stuff. You'd think that every known method of working abs would have been covered by now. How in the hell do they come up with new things to put in new issues every single month? Same goes for Star Trek and Karate magazines, there's got to be some limit to new things you can write about an expired TV show or an ancient martial art.
Maybe the worst of all, though, is Cosmopolitan. I was kind of bored at Olivia's apartment a couple days ago, so I flipped through a couple of her roommate's Cosmos on her coffee table. All I can say is man, is that magazine trashy or what? And apparently it is one of the best selling magazines because I see it everywhere. With these, every issue ends up having the exact same features in one form or another:
- How do I know if this guy is interested in me?
- How do I make my man desire me more?
- What's the best way to fix a chipped nail?
- Stories about what sweet thing my husband/boyfriend did for me
- Stories about getting caught having sex in public
- Recipes for losing weight
- Cutest new outfits to wear for every occasion
- Who was George Clooney with last night?
Oh my gosh, I cannot understand why that magazine is so popular. It provides no real useful information as much as I could tell. I'll acknowledge that because fashion trends change and gossip is always new, new issues each month make a little more sense than Star Trek Monthly. Unfortunately, the rest of that magazine does not make any sense at all to me. It's kind of funny to read, but I don't understand how women can read that same old bullspit over and over, and hold it so sacred to their heart as if it was their Bible.
As for these so-called men's magazines like Maxim or FHM, they may appear like they are the male's counterpart of Cosmo but make no mistake about it: guys buy it based on the hot chick on the cover, not for the relationship advice. I mean come on, trusting your relationship to a magazine like Maxim is almost as bad as getting your allergy prescription filled by a crack dealer. If you ever read the stuff in Maxim you will find that it is more funny than useful. But the thing that scares me about Cosmo is that I think many women actually take the things they write in there seriously. Yeah right, if you were not attracting guys before, you will suddenly blossom into an irresistable goddess after reading the "secret tips" in that magazine. Or, your doctor, after years of study in the field, can't help you lose weight, but some half-wit columnist is suddenly gonna let you in on the easy trick to drop 20 pounds in 2 days.
There's plenty of things in this world that don't make sense and are actually worthless if you just take a step back and think about it objectively. It would help to understand ourselves in what we really are looking to accomplish by the things we do. Traffic reports don't really have much practical use, as far as I can see, but people still listen to them all the time as if it did. Ab workout tips, Star Trek News, and Cosmo advice on how to get guys doesn't really merit the space of weekly/monthly magazines, either. I can only assume that we look to these things and hold fast as a way to feel like we have control over things that we don't. Everyone likes to feel like they have some "inside scoop" on everyone else, like they have an advantage over other people by listening to the radio or reading a magazine. In reality, all of these things amount to is a significant waste of everybody's time. The fact is, there is no way that they can possibly solve all the problems you think it will, so you should either look for a solution from a better source, or find some way to simply deal with the problems that you do have.
Last week I wrote on how worthless weathermen are. Well, lately it seems like a lot of other stuff is worthless too. Like traffic reports, for instance. We should all know by now that every day is gonna be the same thing because the same thing happens every day. If it's rush hour, all highways will be congested no matter how many times you listen to "Traffic on the 8's". So basically, they could play a recording of the same report every day at the given times, and nobody would be the wiser. In that sense, it's even worse than weather reports I talked about before. At least there isn't a "Traffic Channel" on Cable TV and reporters don't get billboards like Tom Skilling, so I'm not as jealous and bitter about it.
The other thing is, I usually hear traffic reports on the radio, when I'm already on the road. And by the time the guy tells me a place is congested, it's probably way too late. Either I'm happy I didn't take that road, or I'm sitting there, moving at a snail's pace and listening to the traffic man mock me by telling me what I already know. What's the point of traffic reports, then? I guess it's just to make people feel like they have some sort of advantage over others in beating rush hour. Trust me, it doesn't make any difference. Rush hour is rush hour, it sucks and if there was a way to beat it, everyone would be doing it by now. Go ahead and listen to those traffic reports, though, maybe it will at least make you feel better knowing that thousands of other drivers are suffering along with you.
Look through any magazine rack and you will find all sorts of magazines. Men's fitness magazines fascinate me a lot, because every month there is a new issue, and every month on the cover they have some new fantastic way to get "rock hard abs." Seriously, every month, every issue, same old stuff. You'd think that every known method of working abs would have been covered by now. How in the hell do they come up with new things to put in new issues every single month? Same goes for Star Trek and Karate magazines, there's got to be some limit to new things you can write about an expired TV show or an ancient martial art.
Maybe the worst of all, though, is Cosmopolitan. I was kind of bored at Olivia's apartment a couple days ago, so I flipped through a couple of her roommate's Cosmos on her coffee table. All I can say is man, is that magazine trashy or what? And apparently it is one of the best selling magazines because I see it everywhere. With these, every issue ends up having the exact same features in one form or another:
- How do I know if this guy is interested in me?
- How do I make my man desire me more?
- What's the best way to fix a chipped nail?
- Stories about what sweet thing my husband/boyfriend did for me
- Stories about getting caught having sex in public
- Recipes for losing weight
- Cutest new outfits to wear for every occasion
- Who was George Clooney with last night?
Oh my gosh, I cannot understand why that magazine is so popular. It provides no real useful information as much as I could tell. I'll acknowledge that because fashion trends change and gossip is always new, new issues each month make a little more sense than Star Trek Monthly. Unfortunately, the rest of that magazine does not make any sense at all to me. It's kind of funny to read, but I don't understand how women can read that same old bullspit over and over, and hold it so sacred to their heart as if it was their Bible.
As for these so-called men's magazines like Maxim or FHM, they may appear like they are the male's counterpart of Cosmo but make no mistake about it: guys buy it based on the hot chick on the cover, not for the relationship advice. I mean come on, trusting your relationship to a magazine like Maxim is almost as bad as getting your allergy prescription filled by a crack dealer. If you ever read the stuff in Maxim you will find that it is more funny than useful. But the thing that scares me about Cosmo is that I think many women actually take the things they write in there seriously. Yeah right, if you were not attracting guys before, you will suddenly blossom into an irresistable goddess after reading the "secret tips" in that magazine. Or, your doctor, after years of study in the field, can't help you lose weight, but some half-wit columnist is suddenly gonna let you in on the easy trick to drop 20 pounds in 2 days.
There's plenty of things in this world that don't make sense and are actually worthless if you just take a step back and think about it objectively. It would help to understand ourselves in what we really are looking to accomplish by the things we do. Traffic reports don't really have much practical use, as far as I can see, but people still listen to them all the time as if it did. Ab workout tips, Star Trek News, and Cosmo advice on how to get guys doesn't really merit the space of weekly/monthly magazines, either. I can only assume that we look to these things and hold fast as a way to feel like we have control over things that we don't. Everyone likes to feel like they have some "inside scoop" on everyone else, like they have an advantage over other people by listening to the radio or reading a magazine. In reality, all of these things amount to is a significant waste of everybody's time. The fact is, there is no way that they can possibly solve all the problems you think it will, so you should either look for a solution from a better source, or find some way to simply deal with the problems that you do have.
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