Catchphrases

I think I have written some about this topic before, but just thought I would try and come up with a quick reference list of "catchphrases" that tend to come up a lot in the corporate world. Consider it as kind of a wikipedia/urban dictionary for the workplace, if you will.

Although I know how stupid and annoying these phrases sound, at times I still catch myself almost using them. I can't help it, it's the sheer amount of exposure I get to them on a day-to-day basis. So to remedy this, I have tried to come up with alternative ways to say the same thing, just to prove that you CAN get the same point across, without sounding like a stooge.

Phrase: "touch base"
Meaning: To meet or contact with someone for the purposes of exchanging information
Example: "Wait, so should I stay or hit with 12 against a dealer showing 2? I better touch base with Chras and find out, before I go to the blackjack table."
Alternative: "talk to"

Phrase: "close the loop"
Meaning: To resolve an issue that is not yet resolved
Example: "Before we move on to the next topic, let's close the loop on whether we think JJ Redick is Brokeback Mountain or not."
Alternative: "get an answer"

Phrase: "OBE"
Meaning: Acronym for "Overcome By Events"
Example: "Our plan was to acquire the wafflemaker, but unfortunately that mission has been OBE."
Alternative: Actually I kind of like this one. I may start using it.

Phrase: "disconnect"
Meaning: a lack of communication
Example: "Deep down, Stephen and Kristin probably loved each other more than anybody else, but their relationship could never overcome the persistent disconnect between their feelings."
Alternative: "misunderstanding"

Phrase: "burn the candle at both ends"
Meaning: to double productivity
Example: "I really don't want to watch 'The Notebook', but my girlfriend is making me. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could burn the candle at both ends and fast forward through the parts that suck (i.e., the whole thing)."
Alternative: "hire more people"

Phrase: "the cat's meow"
Meaning: ????? Somebody enlighten me please
Example: I can't remember how I heard it used, but I did hear a manager say it once and remember being confused and amused at the same time.
Alternative: "the bee's knees"?

Phrase: "playing phone tag"
Meaning: When you can't reach someone directly, and end up communicating by leaving messages on each others' voicemail
Example: "Where in the hell are all my hoes at? Can't a brother make a booty call without having to play phone tag?"
Alternative: I guess there is no good substitute for this one. But I still refuse to use it. The only "tags" that are cool to play are Freeze Tag and TV Tag.*

Phrase: "COB"
Meaning: Acronym for "Close Of Business", referring to the end of a particular business day.
Example: "Today, I will attempt the very dangerous stunt of staying 5 minutes after COB - on a Friday!"
Alternative: "end of the day"

Phrase: "Nastygram"
Meaning: An email with a scolding tone, sent to express displeasure
Example: "Stupid Dave traded his best players to Ryan last week, and now they're lighting up my fantasy team. I'm going to send him a nastygram."
Alternative: "angry message"

Phrase: "Bleed all over"
Meaning: To mark up a document with many changes, referring to the red ink generally used to do so
Example: "I'm lucky I don't have an editor for this blog, he/she would probably bleed all over it and take out the parts that suck (i.e., the whole thing)."
Alternative: "edit"

Phrase: "popozao"
Meaning: In Portugese it means "bring your ass on the floor"
Example: "Po, po, po, po, popozao, popozao."
Alternative: "I'm a complete tool, yet somehow I got Britney Spears to marry me."

There's more, but that's all I can think of right now. And I just work in engineering, I bet it's twice as bad if you do sales or consulting.

As always, if anyone has any to add, feel free to do so.

* Edit: I forgot to include "Laser Tag" as a cool tag to play, my bad.