Keep in Touch

Remember in high school, at the end of each year we'd get each other to sign yearbooks, trying to record the signatures and memories you had with each person throughout that past school year? I don't happen to reminisce about high school too often, but when I was cleaning and organizing my room recently, I was struck with the urge to pick that old yearbook up and flip through it.

The first thing that surprised me was how young everyone looked in their pictures (including myself, of course). As a senior in college seeing the incoming freshman, I'd always wondered whether or not I looked that young myself 4 years ago, and there I had my answer.

When I started reading the notes of people who had signed my yearbook, it brought back many great memories, but I also couldn't help feeling some amount of regret at how many times the words "keep in touch" came up in those signatures, and how few of these people I had actually kept in touch with.

I was fortunate enough to attend college at a place where a lot of DGS grads decided to go, and among this group were a few people that became my closest friends throughout the past few years, and who I'll definitely be close with for years to come. I'm very thankful for having these guys as friends all this time, and also for the few others I was able to keep up with during the summers, Thanksgivings, or Spring Breaks that didn't go to Champaign. But the vast majority of my friends in high school just kind of faded off and I can only wonder where these people are now and what they're doing.

Now, all that high school stuff is in the past. I can't really expect to be "friends 4-ever" with everyone I've ever hung out with. To be fair, the whole keeping in touch thing is a 2-way deal, and it's not all my fault for failing to do so after high school. Circumstances change, people change, and none of this can be avoided.

But as it stands, I know that I left college little more than a month ago making a lot of those same promises to stay in touch with people I'd met at school. I honestly hope that I have become wiser in these past four years and that this time, not as many of my close friends will be lost in the shuffle.

Still, all this is easier said than done, and this will be one of the toughest challenges I've ever faced which I can't simply hope it into fruition. I'm already seeing that everyone has his/her own life to live, with or without me, and that in many cases, distance will be the foremost barrier to overcome. One of my roommates is headed to Berkeley for grad school, a couple friends are in Texas working already, and some others are staying in Champaign for more school too. And even though a few are gonna be working in the area, their jobs will likely allow for very limited time to hang out like before as they sleep at the ungodly hour of 11pm to wake up early for an 8 hour day.

For me personally, a bigger hindrance than distance is a sense of laziness, or at least a lack of dedication. When change comes, I usually end up sitting back and losing track of everything, seemingly helpless to exert any control over my own situation. But what it really comes down to is going with the flow while hanging on to what you can. There's no point in swimming against the tide, you'll just end up being swept backwards by the waves with a mouthful of salty water. But whenever possible, I'll have to make it a point to find ways to talk to and meet up with the people I can. Relationships, even among guys, don't sustain themselves, as I've already learned from post high-school experience. And I've also learned that making the effort to keep a friend is something I'll never regret doing.

While I'm on this general topic, I want to recommend that everyone who hasn't started a blog should do so. In only a week or two of writing these entries, I've found that it's not only a great way to organize your thoughts and release some of your creative writing energy, but also a way to share a little of what's going on in your own life to whoever takes time out to read. I know of a couple other people's blogs and I enjoy reading what they have to write. It's not a relationship in itself, but it's almost like talking to the person on the phone once in a while and just keeping in step with the new times.

You might say, as my sister did, that your life is too boring and uneventful to keep a blog. But look at me, I work at home with my dad all day, and at night I just watch baseball or sit around, maybe waiting for someone to call me to do something, and then I get ready to sleep around 11 or 12. Sure, it's true that my blogs aren't all that interesting to read, but that's cause I suck at writing. Life is as interesting as you make it. No matter how little or how much is going on, there's always something to write about. You'd actually be able to write more often if you have less other stuff to do. So I definitely think everyone should have a blog of some sort and just update it as frequently or infrequently as is reasonable. Not only will you give people like me with no life something to read, but I'm willing to bet that you'll get a lot out of the blog-writing habit yourselves, if you're ready to put some time and effort into it.

Also, a couple people have commented on my blog and I really like when people tell me something I wrote was true, or funny, or even wrong or disgusting. Just knowing that someone is reading what you write is pretty rewarding, even if it's only a few people. I'm considering upgrading to blogpro or whatever that is called so that people will be able to leave comments on my posts. But for now, don't hesitate to send me a quick email or IM if you have something to say or add to what I wrote.