Dear Mama
I think the person that cracks me up the most is my mom. I've written about her more than a few times in this blog, but not so much lately. Maybe that's because I don't think anyone else will understand why I think she's so hilarious.
One of the things that always makes me laugh is when my mom emails me. Most of the time it's one of those lame forwards, like an inspirational story, a poem about sunshine, or a slideshow of cute babies or puppies. For some reason she must think I like all that gayness, I don't know why.
Not that I'm complaining, cause I think it's hilarious and that's why I'm writing about it to begin with. Also, I mean "gayness" in the pejorative sense (flashback to Jesse Ventura skit on Conan O'Brien), not in the literal sense, especially as she is one of the most politically conservative people I know of. In fact, one of her more recent forwards to me was some petition to our local Congressman to Constitutionally ban same-sex marriage, so you know she won't stand for any real gayness.
My favorite part is her fobbiness. Her English isn't terrible, but she still does a lot of things that I find to be so amusing. In her writing, she tends to put quotes around phrases that don't really merit quotes. Or she will discover fun new ways to mispell words, like "I am eating too much lately, I notice I'm getting choppier" actually means she feels "chubbier".
Also, I have talked before about how pointless it is to explain stuff like wireless networks, MP3s, or the Internet to her. Teaching her how to use her cell phone was not easy to say the least. Yet sometimes, she will surprise me with flashes of technology-savviness. Such as recently, when I asked her if she had heard anything about Millenium Park, and then she sent me a link to the URL for the Millenium Park website. And when something like that happens, it cracks me up even more.
Like I said, many of you may not understand why I think these things are hilarious, but trust me, they are. Especially those of you who were not fortunate enough to be born with a fobby parent, you guys are seriously missing out.
* By the way, in case anyone is wondering, the word "fobby" is derived from the word FOB, actually an acronym for "Fresh Off Boat", which refers to people who were not born here but immigrated to this country. Thus "fobbiness" represents pretty much all the things you tend to associate with fobs, like a heavy accent, lack of fashion sense, etc. Prototypical example of a fob: William Hung.
