Invasion of the Recycling Bin Snatchers

I haven't had many complaints about Schaumburg since I moved here, but one thing that really angers me is that my recycling bin has been stolen... not just once but twice.

The first time, I just set it out on the curb as usual, on Recycling/Trash Pickup day (Wednesday), and when I got home, it was gone. It bugged me at the time, but I figured since it was a windy day, maybe it actually blew down the street and someone accidentally picked it up mistakenly as if it was their own. Still, I'm pretty sure it had my address written on there in big letters, with permanent ink, so I was suspicious.

A couple weeks later, I saw a stray recycling bin just randomly sitting on someone else's lawn. After it had been sitting out there for a few days, and didn't look like anyone was going to claim it, I decided to just take it to replace the one I lost.

Again, I made sure to write my address number on the side with big letters and permanent black ink. And this time, I decided I would not put the bin out on windy days, and when I did put it out, to make sure to bring it in as soon as I got home.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to prevent a second theft. One day as I was walking out of my garage to get the mail, I noticed that my recycling bin was gone. It wasn't taken from the curb, I'm positive because it was a Saturday, and I remember bringing it in a couple days before that. And there's no way it could have been blown away by the wind, just sitting in my garage. The only explanation is that someone walked by my garage and decided to take it. Well, "take" is such a weak term, I really should say someone "stole" it if that's the case.

As I described earlier this whole recycling bin theft escapade "angers" me, but I guess there's much more to it than just anger. I am also saddened because I thought my neighborhood was safe enough where I could leave my garage door open without having my recycling bin stolen. Silly me. Now I gotta keep my garage shut as if I lived in some lesser suburb, that's just wack.

I'm puzzled more than anything else though. There's plenty of other stuff in my garage that people could take, besides a recycling bin. My car wash stuff, for starters probably adds up to being worth more than $100. I've also got a hydraulic jack, a bike, and some nice shoes that would be just as easy to swipe and probably be more useful to whoever takes it. (Ok, so my bike totally sucks and is pretty much worthless, but still). Out of all the things someone could take from my garage, why my recycling bin?

I just can't figure out what in the world could someone possibly want with my recycling bins, especially ones that have my address written on it. Is there some recycling bin black market I don't know about? Are my stolen recycling bins going to end up on being sold on the street corner in the ghetto by some shady bin dealer? Am I going to start seeing blue Village of Schaumburg Recycling bins being bid up on eBay?

I'm picturing my precious recycling bins being taken to a place like those chop shops for stolen cars. Except instead of having to drill off the serial numbers of engine parts, they just have to find a way to erase or paint over my Sharpie ink.

Hopefully it's just the work of some silly teenagers up to their usual tomfoolery. I would hate to have to live in constant fear of recycling bin crime rings terrorizing the depths of American suburbia.

Either way, there's not much I can do about it. I'm not going to call the cops and file a report for a freaking stolen recycling bin, how stupid would I look? And as much as I would like to protect my 1 remaining bin with some sort of tracking device like LoJack, that might not be very practical.

I guess all I can do is keep my garage door shut whenever I can and hope for the best. I'm definitely not going to run the risk of losing my last bin by putting it out on the curb again. Just gonna have to throw my paper, cardboard, and bottles in the trash from now on. See what you've done now, you bin-stealing Nazis? You've turned this man away from recycling forever. Now the whole world is going to suffer as the environment deteriorates, and everybody loses. Moral of the story: don't steal other people's recycling bins, unless you like pollution!