My First Thanksgiving Blog

As everyone knows, it's time for Thanksgiving and the thing to do is to list what we are all thankful for. That's a great idea and all, but I have decided that my Bird-day blog will be a little different.

Of course, I am very thankful for my mom, dad, and sister for being the best family I have ever had. I am thankful for having a job I like, a house to live in, food on the table, and a car to drive. And it should go without saying that I am thankful for all of my friends for always being quality people and for staying cool with me throughout the years.

Now, with all that said, there are plenty of things that I don't feel all that thankful for. I'm not trying to be negative, but I was pouring myself some juice the other day when I noticed something. On the bottle label, there were big words advertising "Contains Real Fruit Juice!" That got me thinking, dang, our expectations are pretty low these days, if something like that is supposed to impress us.

You know, when I go to the store to buy myself some juice, is it too much to ask that it would actually contain "real juice"? Should I be thankful because the makers took the time and effort to stick some real fruit juice into a bottle of fruit juice? The way they brag about it on the label, that's how I feel.

Or, sometimes I will pick up a pack of gum or candy that says "Does not cause cancer" or "Does not promote tooth decay." Pretty sweet, eh? Gum, that doesn't cause cancer?! No way, sign me up for a few! Well actually, it's gonna take more than that to make me thankful. The way I see it, when I pay for a product, any product, the least I should be able to expect is that I don't get cancer from it, right? But it does make me think, how bad are those brands of gum that don't advertise their non-cancer-causing feature?

One thing that I've noticed we have really low expectations on these day is people. I remember leading up to the election a few weeks ago, I was seeing ads for Jim Ryan with the slogan "A candidate you can trust." Ok, it's good that we can trust a guy to be our governor. But basically, that means that the best reason we as voters had to choose Jim Ryan was because he was not corrupt. Not because of any great things he has accomplished, or things he can do for the state, but because he has never taken bribes or laundered money (at least never been caught). That's the best thing his campaigners could come up with?

It's worse for athletes and entertainers too. People seem so impressed when a college basketball player plays 4 years at a school and gets a degree. Yes, graduating college is a respectable accomplishment, but it doesn't make them some godly human beings, you know? Especially when these guys have special people assigned to tutor them, people to "talk" to their professors about their grades, and when most of them have bogus majors like Plant Psychology to begin with.

Then there's pro athletes. You know how at construction sites they have those signs that count "[x] days without an accident"? I feel like they should have those for some of these guys. Like "[x] days without being caught with weed" or "[x] days without being arrested for beating my wife." Yeah, I bet the Portland Trailblazers could use a bunch of those signs.

Then every time they feature someone like Peyton Manning (who doesn't beat his wife), they always gotta ramble on about "how hard he works" and how much time he spends preparing for the game. Well, if I was somehow blessed with talent to play in the NFL, you better believe I would work hard. At the very least, I would show up to practice on time and listen to my coaches. So what if a pro football player works hard? It's his freakin job, everybody is supposed to work hard at their job.

Not to mention it's a job that pays millions so he can ride around in his pimped out Escalade and drink bottles of Cristal (instead of Capri-Suns like me). What about my dad, who I remember he used to wake up at 4am every day to take the train to work in the city, not get home till late at night, juts so he could support a family on a salary that would be a tiny fraction of what Randy Moss makes? Why don't they do a TV special on him?

Seriously though, just watch the news or commercials and pay attention to the world around you. Then tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. We are surrounded by lowered expectations. I'm just waiting for them to come out with ads for shampoo bragging about how it "doesn't make your hair fall out," or for baby food that doesn't choke your kids. Or maybe the day will come when I see awards being given to Ray Lewis for "not stabbing anyone in a while" or Eminem because he "loves his daughter."

But I guess after I wrote all that, it does bring me back to being extra thankful for what I do have. Great parents, a great sister, great friends and most of all, my blog readers who read through all of my garbage. Happy Thanksgiving everyone...