Your Name-o-scope Awaits
A lot of people in this world (myself not being one of them) read their horoscopes every day to see what their future holds. Other people believe that their Chinese Zodiac sign holds clues to their personality and their probable lifestyle. Still others read the lines on their palms or flip cards to be told what kind of person they are and what to watch for.
As for me, I have decided to invent a new system: telling things about someone based on their first name. It's not 100% foolproof of course, but I am willing to claim that you can tell a lot more than you think about someone by their first name alone.
What I'm not doing is telling you what your name means, because there are plenty of books out there that already have that kind of information. But my goal is to compile a list of common names that will provide a short profile or description of the person's likely characteristics, his/her tendencies, etc. Such would be helpful if anyone is being setup with a blind date. Otherwise, this list is for general reference.
If you are not on this list, it is probably because:
a) Your name is not very common and I don't know more than 3 or 4 people with that name, thus preventing me from having enough personal observations to draw from
b) I forgot about that name. If this is the case, let me know and I will try to patch the list.
DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write too seriously or personally! If your name is included in this list, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am writing about you. For any name that is listed, I have drawn from a pool of at least 3-4 examples and tried to come up with a summary that fits most of them the best.
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Chris: There are actually 2 types of Chrises. One falls into the category that includes the Chris Rocks and Chris Tuckers of the world. These Chrises happen to be very active and loud, but make life for others more exciting. The other kind of Chris is a cookie-cutter white boy. Christopher Reeve, Chris Isaak, and Chris from Real World Chicago are excellent examples.
David/Dave: As a whole, guys named Dave are very passionate people. This may sometimes exhibit itself in the form of being extremely competitive, and often times leads to acts of impulsiveness as well. Daves are born as very talented individuals, and combined with their passionate attitude for pursuing what they want, they are almost always successful in what they do. However, they may sometimes strike certain people as being overly brash or arrogant. Famous examples include Dave Matthews, David Letterman, and King David of Israel.
Dennis: When meeting a Dennis for the first time, he has a knack for coming off as being aggressive or even offensive. Dennises typically have a cynical or sarcastic attitude, which happens to make them great at being comedians. If one can get beyond the first impression, they might find that a Dennis could be a quality friend and a fun person to be around. Famous Dennises include Dennis Rodman, Dennis Leary, and Dennis Miller.
Grace: Have you ever met a girl named Grace who was mean? I sure haven't. If I ever have a daughter, I figure that naming her Grace is a can't-miss strategy, because she is almost guaranteed to turn out to be a good girl. Other possible names include Faith and Trinity.
Greg: Maybe it's just me, but I don't know any Gregs who are fat. Gregs are usually very nice guys and cool friends. They don't usually draw the center of attention, nor do they desire to. One thing you could say about them is that they are typically very reliable and dependable people.
James/Jim/Jimmy: One word that pops into mind when you first hear any of these names is "immature." However, this tells only half the story, as what might be perceived as immaturity is actually more of a friendly attitude and a good sense of humor. These guys don't take many things seriously and are usually very fun to be around. Examples include Jimmy Fallon and Jim Carrey.
Jeff: While I wouldn't characterize Jeffs as being particularly quiet, they do tend to all have a laid back attitude and a subtle sense of humor. They are a relatively athletic bunch, and are generally very well-liked.
Jennifer/Jenny/Jen/Jenna: With it being one of the most common girls' names these days, it might be very hard to write a good, accurate description fitting all of them. But, I will say that most girls with this name happen to be blessed with good looks and the ability to attract almost any guy. While this may seem like a big plus, it could also turn out to be a curse too. Many Jennifers are very nice deep down, but become hardened by the world, and many times end up being the girl who people say "has issues." She will often times make puzzling or poor judgements which could hurt her reputation. Some famous Jennifers are Jennifer Lopez, Jenna from Survivor I, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Julie/Julia/Julianne: When it comes to girls, Julies are about as even-tempered as they come. The feeling you get from them is that they are fairly sensible, practical, and would make good mothers. Still, they usually make for interesting friends and are not boring people by any means. Think of Julie Andrews or Julia Child.
Katie: In almost any situation, you will find Katie with a smile on her face. She is always energetic and upbeat, great for cheering you up but might be a little annoying sometimes if you're feeling on edge already. The quintessential Katie I can think of is Katie Couric.
Kurt: If your name is Kurt, chances are, you are probably white. Not saying that's bad or anything, just observing that I myself have never met a Kurt who wasn't white, nor can I picture a non-white Kurt.
Lisa: On the surface, most people see Lisas as being small, cute, and harmless. But the fact is that most Lisas are actually a little feisty and have a some wild streak in them that you might not expect. Don't be fooled. Just keep people like Lisa "Left-eye" Lopez in mind, also Lisa Simpson and Lisa Turtle (from Saved By The Bell).
Michael/Mike: For the most part, Mikes have an addicting personality that make them popular among most people. While many are able to achieve great success early on in their life/career, a abnormally large number of them have the strange tendency to have their success cut short and partially overshadowed by their failures. Consider the examples of Michael Jordan, Michael Chang, Michael Jackson, or Mike Tyson.
Richard/Rich: Guys named Rich are the kind that take a while to get to know well. They aren't exactly considered shy, but are better described as complex, and often misunderstood. Be careful about judging these books by their covers, because who you meet could turn out to be a lot different from who he really is. In addition, Richards are commonly very intelligent people and seem to be more in touch with the artistic or abstract world. It seems like there are higher percentage of gay people named Rich too.
Sarah: When you encounter a Sarah in your life, expect her to be very blunt and straightforward. If she doesn't like you, she will leave no doubt in your mind of that fact. But if you are on her good side, be glad and try not to do anything to piss her off. I personally like the "Sarah" personality, because I appreciate when people aren't afraid to say what they are feeling or thinking.
Steve: "Well-rounded" is a description that fits most Steves quite well. Rarely do you find a Steve that is one-dimensional, for example, Steve Young was a quarterback who could throw well but also had the ability to run. Steven Spielberg has shown that he can direct all kinds of movies, from sci-fi and action to heavy dramas. Also, as those two examples show, Steves are born with good leadership skills.
Will(iam): These guys are often times the ones about which you say "he lives in his own world." Wills live their life not really caring about what anyone else thinks, and are known for being weird or quirky. Wherever they go, they are usually either loved or hated by those around them, either or. Say what you "will" (haha) about them though, the fact is that the world needs its share of Wills to provide relief from the mundane parts of life. Famous people named Will include Will Smith, William Shatner, William Shakespeare, William Faulkner.
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Like I said, do NOT take any of this personally. This is all supposed to be harmless observation so if you read something you didn't like, just consider all of the other stupid stuff I've written in the past, none of that was true, right?
