Driving a Minivan

Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.

Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.

You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.

So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...

While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.

Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...