My First Thanksgiving Blog
As everyone knows, it's time for Thanksgiving and the thing to do is to list what we are all thankful for. That's a great idea and all, but I have decided that my Bird-day blog will be a little different.
Of course, I am very thankful for my mom, dad, and sister for being the best family I have ever had. I am thankful for having a job I like, a house to live in, food on the table, and a car to drive. And it should go without saying that I am thankful for all of my friends for always being quality people and for staying cool with me throughout the years.
Now, with all that said, there are plenty of things that I don't feel all that thankful for. I'm not trying to be negative, but I was pouring myself some juice the other day when I noticed something. On the bottle label, there were big words advertising "Contains Real Fruit Juice!" That got me thinking, dang, our expectations are pretty low these days, if something like that is supposed to impress us.
You know, when I go to the store to buy myself some juice, is it too much to ask that it would actually contain "real juice"? Should I be thankful because the makers took the time and effort to stick some real fruit juice into a bottle of fruit juice? The way they brag about it on the label, that's how I feel.
Or, sometimes I will pick up a pack of gum or candy that says "Does not cause cancer" or "Does not promote tooth decay." Pretty sweet, eh? Gum, that doesn't cause cancer?! No way, sign me up for a few! Well actually, it's gonna take more than that to make me thankful. The way I see it, when I pay for a product, any product, the least I should be able to expect is that I don't get cancer from it, right? But it does make me think, how bad are those brands of gum that don't advertise their non-cancer-causing feature?
One thing that I've noticed we have really low expectations on these day is people. I remember leading up to the election a few weeks ago, I was seeing ads for Jim Ryan with the slogan "A candidate you can trust." Ok, it's good that we can trust a guy to be our governor. But basically, that means that the best reason we as voters had to choose Jim Ryan was because he was not corrupt. Not because of any great things he has accomplished, or things he can do for the state, but because he has never taken bribes or laundered money (at least never been caught). That's the best thing his campaigners could come up with?
It's worse for athletes and entertainers too. People seem so impressed when a college basketball player plays 4 years at a school and gets a degree. Yes, graduating college is a respectable accomplishment, but it doesn't make them some godly human beings, you know? Especially when these guys have special people assigned to tutor them, people to "talk" to their professors about their grades, and when most of them have bogus majors like Plant Psychology to begin with.
Then there's pro athletes. You know how at construction sites they have those signs that count "[x] days without an accident"? I feel like they should have those for some of these guys. Like "[x] days without being caught with weed" or "[x] days without being arrested for beating my wife." Yeah, I bet the Portland Trailblazers could use a bunch of those signs.
Then every time they feature someone like Peyton Manning (who doesn't beat his wife), they always gotta ramble on about "how hard he works" and how much time he spends preparing for the game. Well, if I was somehow blessed with talent to play in the NFL, you better believe I would work hard. At the very least, I would show up to practice on time and listen to my coaches. So what if a pro football player works hard? It's his freakin job, everybody is supposed to work hard at their job.
Not to mention it's a job that pays millions so he can ride around in his pimped out Escalade and drink bottles of Cristal (instead of Capri-Suns like me). What about my dad, who I remember he used to wake up at 4am every day to take the train to work in the city, not get home till late at night, juts so he could support a family on a salary that would be a tiny fraction of what Randy Moss makes? Why don't they do a TV special on him?
Seriously though, just watch the news or commercials and pay attention to the world around you. Then tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. We are surrounded by lowered expectations. I'm just waiting for them to come out with ads for shampoo bragging about how it "doesn't make your hair fall out," or for baby food that doesn't choke your kids. Or maybe the day will come when I see awards being given to Ray Lewis for "not stabbing anyone in a while" or Eminem because he "loves his daughter."
But I guess after I wrote all that, it does bring me back to being extra thankful for what I do have. Great parents, a great sister, great friends and most of all, my blog readers who read through all of my garbage. Happy Thanksgiving everyone...
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Bathroom Etiquette
Today in the bathroom at work I was washing my hands when a guy walked in with a magazine. I thought he was gonna go to a stall and read it while going #2, but no, he went to a urinal and and started peeing, while continuing to read his magazine. Personally, I have never ever seen anything like that. The idea of a guy standing up with a magazine one hand and his pee-pee in the other and urinating away is both funny and disturbing at the same time.
If I was more of a jackass, I should have just turned around and paid attention to whether he put down his magazine or even looked away from his reading to make sure he avoided that deadly "Something About Mary" zipper disaster. But, being the discrete individual I am, I settled for surreptitious glances using the mirror while pretending to give my hands an extra rinse.
Men's bathrooms are a sensitive area, there are many Dos and Don'ts when you are in such a place. Actually, there are many more don'ts that I can think of. As long as you make sure to flush, and shut the door when you take a dump, that pretty much will cover the Dos. The Don'ts are a little trickier.
For example, you never, ever start a conversation with a stranger in the bathroom. Even if it is your best friend, it would be questionable. There is just something inherently weird about talking to the guy next to you out of the blue while you both are peeing. Maybe even a little gay, but it doesn't matter if you are talking about Prada shoes and the latest episode of Will & Grace, or if you are discussing hunting rifles and Monday Night Football, all such banter is unacceptable. The golden rule of inter-urinal conversation is: let the guy next to you pee in peace, just as you would want him to let you pee in peace.
In most cases, this rule is much less stringent for the handwashing or paper-towel-retrieving portion of your bathroom visit. Still, be careful not to venture too far beyond a nod of acknowledgement and a neutral "what's up" and only when eye contact is made.
Choosing a urinal is also a touchy issue. It is never acceptable to take a spot when the one next to it is already being used, if there are other options available. You gotta give people their space or else they will feel threatened. When you walk into the bathroom, the initial scan is critical. You must quickly note the quantity and location of the urinals and stalls, as well as the setup and features of the particular bathroom. Doing so allows you to act accordingly and avoid bathroom faux pas.
When you hear someone accidentally rip one while peeing, or is experiencing a particularly messy #2, resist all urges to laugh out loud. It could turn out to be some huge guy that will take exception to your reaction and bash your face in. Even if it isn't, just be considerate and put yourself in his place; how would you feel in that situation? Now if you absolutely must, snicker quietly to yourself, but the best solution is to hold your childish glee and tell your friends about the moment later.
If you are sitting in a stall doing your thing and someone takes the one next to you, do NOT try to look at the guy's shoes and pants to figure out who it is. There is a good chance that he might be doing the same thing. Won't you both look stupid if you end up seeing each other at that point? Anyways, just mind your own business. Finish your duty and get on out of that place, who cares about who is sitting in the stall next to you.
Speaking of which, determining when to get out of the stall is another important situation which you have to handle correctly. When there are not very many other people in the bathroom with you, it is fairly quiet and the potential for awkwardness is at a maximum. One of the last things you wanna do is to flush at the same time as someone else and get out of your stall in sync with another guy doing the same. The awkwardness is multiplied when you gotta use the sink or the hand dryer at the same time as someone else. It's much better when someone clearly deserves the sink before or after you, and everything else follows in a logical fashion.
To avoid this strategic blunder, I recommend that you "finish up" as loudly as possible. While you try to muffle the sound of taking a dump itself, you do the opposite when it comes to tearing the toilet paper, buckling your belt, etc. This way, other people will hopefully respect the fact that you are claiming the right to flush and exit into the open area. It's kind of like signaling when you merge onto the highway, a simple act can save so much confusion or trouble.
Some people fail to recognize this act, but they are mostly ignorant. This is why you have to be vigilant yourself in paying attention to bathroom noises. The toilet-paper-tear is a dead giveaway, however, don't overlook the subtler sounds which can mean the same thing. If there is any doubt, just sit on that toilet a while longer to make sure.
Making a little noise while in a stall is a good act of courtesy in general. A lot of people don't follow my simple rule of scanning the bathroom as the first thing when entering a bathroom. Yet, it is important that they know someone is in there with them, albeit hidden in one of the back stalls. If not, they might be a little careless with letting loud farts rip or start humming a Justin Timberlake song. The result would be an embarrasing moment when he finds out that he was not alone in the room as you flush and leave your stall to see him checking himself out in the mirror. So, within the first 5 seconds of someone coming into the bathroom, you have to make some sound to let him know you're there. Any little grunt, throat-clearing, or foot shuffling will do, as long as you do it before he does something dumb. Like I said, make your noise within the first 5 seconds and you should be ok.
There are other lesser known rules, but these are the most important. I didn't make them up either, ask most socially-conscious guys and they will tell you the same kind of stuff. But a lot of people surprisingly fail to realize the fact that the bathroom is one of the few sensitive places for guys. It's the last place you want to get careless in. Think about it, for many animals, males pee to mark their territory. It's a very personal act. You don't have to be scared to go to the bathroom, all I'm saying is, be respectful and smart when you're there.
Today in the bathroom at work I was washing my hands when a guy walked in with a magazine. I thought he was gonna go to a stall and read it while going #2, but no, he went to a urinal and and started peeing, while continuing to read his magazine. Personally, I have never ever seen anything like that. The idea of a guy standing up with a magazine one hand and his pee-pee in the other and urinating away is both funny and disturbing at the same time.
If I was more of a jackass, I should have just turned around and paid attention to whether he put down his magazine or even looked away from his reading to make sure he avoided that deadly "Something About Mary" zipper disaster. But, being the discrete individual I am, I settled for surreptitious glances using the mirror while pretending to give my hands an extra rinse.
Men's bathrooms are a sensitive area, there are many Dos and Don'ts when you are in such a place. Actually, there are many more don'ts that I can think of. As long as you make sure to flush, and shut the door when you take a dump, that pretty much will cover the Dos. The Don'ts are a little trickier.
For example, you never, ever start a conversation with a stranger in the bathroom. Even if it is your best friend, it would be questionable. There is just something inherently weird about talking to the guy next to you out of the blue while you both are peeing. Maybe even a little gay, but it doesn't matter if you are talking about Prada shoes and the latest episode of Will & Grace, or if you are discussing hunting rifles and Monday Night Football, all such banter is unacceptable. The golden rule of inter-urinal conversation is: let the guy next to you pee in peace, just as you would want him to let you pee in peace.
In most cases, this rule is much less stringent for the handwashing or paper-towel-retrieving portion of your bathroom visit. Still, be careful not to venture too far beyond a nod of acknowledgement and a neutral "what's up" and only when eye contact is made.
Choosing a urinal is also a touchy issue. It is never acceptable to take a spot when the one next to it is already being used, if there are other options available. You gotta give people their space or else they will feel threatened. When you walk into the bathroom, the initial scan is critical. You must quickly note the quantity and location of the urinals and stalls, as well as the setup and features of the particular bathroom. Doing so allows you to act accordingly and avoid bathroom faux pas.
When you hear someone accidentally rip one while peeing, or is experiencing a particularly messy #2, resist all urges to laugh out loud. It could turn out to be some huge guy that will take exception to your reaction and bash your face in. Even if it isn't, just be considerate and put yourself in his place; how would you feel in that situation? Now if you absolutely must, snicker quietly to yourself, but the best solution is to hold your childish glee and tell your friends about the moment later.
If you are sitting in a stall doing your thing and someone takes the one next to you, do NOT try to look at the guy's shoes and pants to figure out who it is. There is a good chance that he might be doing the same thing. Won't you both look stupid if you end up seeing each other at that point? Anyways, just mind your own business. Finish your duty and get on out of that place, who cares about who is sitting in the stall next to you.
Speaking of which, determining when to get out of the stall is another important situation which you have to handle correctly. When there are not very many other people in the bathroom with you, it is fairly quiet and the potential for awkwardness is at a maximum. One of the last things you wanna do is to flush at the same time as someone else and get out of your stall in sync with another guy doing the same. The awkwardness is multiplied when you gotta use the sink or the hand dryer at the same time as someone else. It's much better when someone clearly deserves the sink before or after you, and everything else follows in a logical fashion.
To avoid this strategic blunder, I recommend that you "finish up" as loudly as possible. While you try to muffle the sound of taking a dump itself, you do the opposite when it comes to tearing the toilet paper, buckling your belt, etc. This way, other people will hopefully respect the fact that you are claiming the right to flush and exit into the open area. It's kind of like signaling when you merge onto the highway, a simple act can save so much confusion or trouble.
Some people fail to recognize this act, but they are mostly ignorant. This is why you have to be vigilant yourself in paying attention to bathroom noises. The toilet-paper-tear is a dead giveaway, however, don't overlook the subtler sounds which can mean the same thing. If there is any doubt, just sit on that toilet a while longer to make sure.
Making a little noise while in a stall is a good act of courtesy in general. A lot of people don't follow my simple rule of scanning the bathroom as the first thing when entering a bathroom. Yet, it is important that they know someone is in there with them, albeit hidden in one of the back stalls. If not, they might be a little careless with letting loud farts rip or start humming a Justin Timberlake song. The result would be an embarrasing moment when he finds out that he was not alone in the room as you flush and leave your stall to see him checking himself out in the mirror. So, within the first 5 seconds of someone coming into the bathroom, you have to make some sound to let him know you're there. Any little grunt, throat-clearing, or foot shuffling will do, as long as you do it before he does something dumb. Like I said, make your noise within the first 5 seconds and you should be ok.
There are other lesser known rules, but these are the most important. I didn't make them up either, ask most socially-conscious guys and they will tell you the same kind of stuff. But a lot of people surprisingly fail to realize the fact that the bathroom is one of the few sensitive places for guys. It's the last place you want to get careless in. Think about it, for many animals, males pee to mark their territory. It's a very personal act. You don't have to be scared to go to the bathroom, all I'm saying is, be respectful and smart when you're there.
Sunday, November 24, 2002
Getting Jacked In The Eye
Getting jacked in the eye is not fun. Not only does it hurt like hell when it happens, you end up on the ground squirming like a girl looking like a weenie. Then you try to get up and the world is spinning. Kind of like those relay race things when they make you run around a baseball bat for 10 turns while looking at the ground, then you gotta run across the field, except in this case your face is throbbing.
So yeah, I got jacked in the face yesterday trying to make a tackle in our pickup football game, and no, it wasn't fun. I thought I was ok, so I drove home, but then my head was spinning and I started shaking uncontrollably when I got home so I had to lay down. I couldn't do that for long, because I had to get up to go to dinner with my family and Olivia's family and another family.
At dinner, I kept feeling like I had to throw up or pass out, but I somehow stayed upright throughout the evening. I don't really understand why getting nailed in the eye or ocular (starcraft word) region causes headaches and nausea but word is that I was experiencing vagal pains. At least that is supposedly what Grace the optometry student theorizes. I thought only girls could have vagal pains, but I think a lot of things that are incorrect.
My dad thought I might have a mild concussion, which would have been not good. But since I went to sleep and woke up ok, I guess it wasn't a concussion. Still, I was still too weak to make it to the Bears game today, which totally sucks cause I was looking forward to that for weeks. They finally freaking won a game, and I was stuck watching it at home on TV.
Now I am feeling almost back to normal, except my eye is still swollen and sore, so I gotta wear glasses. I have a black eye too, so it looks like I got a beatdown. If anyone asks, I am just gonna say "you should see how bad the other guy looks." When in reality, the "other guy" managed to shake off the powerful blow of my eye to his hip bone and continued to play football. Sheeeeezy....
Oh yeah, visit http://asksnoop.com. If you just use it to Shizzolate CNN.com or Yahoo!, it's pretty funny. I tried it on my blog and it was hilarious too. Loads of fun for all.
Getting jacked in the eye is not fun. Not only does it hurt like hell when it happens, you end up on the ground squirming like a girl looking like a weenie. Then you try to get up and the world is spinning. Kind of like those relay race things when they make you run around a baseball bat for 10 turns while looking at the ground, then you gotta run across the field, except in this case your face is throbbing.
So yeah, I got jacked in the face yesterday trying to make a tackle in our pickup football game, and no, it wasn't fun. I thought I was ok, so I drove home, but then my head was spinning and I started shaking uncontrollably when I got home so I had to lay down. I couldn't do that for long, because I had to get up to go to dinner with my family and Olivia's family and another family.
At dinner, I kept feeling like I had to throw up or pass out, but I somehow stayed upright throughout the evening. I don't really understand why getting nailed in the eye or ocular (starcraft word) region causes headaches and nausea but word is that I was experiencing vagal pains. At least that is supposedly what Grace the optometry student theorizes. I thought only girls could have vagal pains, but I think a lot of things that are incorrect.
My dad thought I might have a mild concussion, which would have been not good. But since I went to sleep and woke up ok, I guess it wasn't a concussion. Still, I was still too weak to make it to the Bears game today, which totally sucks cause I was looking forward to that for weeks. They finally freaking won a game, and I was stuck watching it at home on TV.
Now I am feeling almost back to normal, except my eye is still swollen and sore, so I gotta wear glasses. I have a black eye too, so it looks like I got a beatdown. If anyone asks, I am just gonna say "you should see how bad the other guy looks." When in reality, the "other guy" managed to shake off the powerful blow of my eye to his hip bone and continued to play football. Sheeeeezy....
Oh yeah, visit http://asksnoop.com. If you just use it to Shizzolate CNN.com or Yahoo!, it's pretty funny. I tried it on my blog and it was hilarious too. Loads of fun for all.
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Songs
My current playlist:
Britney Spears - Lucky
Coldplay - In My Place
Coldplay - Clocks
Coldplay - The Scientist
Eminem - 8 Mile Road
Eminem - Superman
Five for Fighting - Superman
LL Cool J - Big Mama
Ms. Jade f. Nelly Furtado & Timbaland - Ching Ching
Nelly - Air Force Ones
Puddle of Mudd - Drift and Die
Radiohead - Creep
Radiohead - Lucky
Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide
Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect
Stone Temple Pilots - Creep
Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairy Tale
TLC - Creep
Once in a while, I like to do weird things like put songs on my playlist only because their titles match.
That Nelly song is hilarious. I wish I had friends who talked like that in real life.
My current playlist:
Britney Spears - Lucky
Coldplay - In My Place
Coldplay - Clocks
Coldplay - The Scientist
Eminem - 8 Mile Road
Eminem - Superman
Five for Fighting - Superman
LL Cool J - Big Mama
Ms. Jade f. Nelly Furtado & Timbaland - Ching Ching
Nelly - Air Force Ones
Puddle of Mudd - Drift and Die
Radiohead - Creep
Radiohead - Lucky
Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide
Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect
Stone Temple Pilots - Creep
Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairy Tale
TLC - Creep
Once in a while, I like to do weird things like put songs on my playlist only because their titles match.
That Nelly song is hilarious. I wish I had friends who talked like that in real life.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Things That Piss Me Off
Here is a list of things that piss me off. Kind of like pet peeves, but not exactly.
- Those older cars with turn signals that blink way too fast. It makes me want to electrically engineer a sort of delayer circuit and go install it. Like a clock doubler, maybe. All it takes is a couple J-K flip-flops, I think.
- Tiny font on other people's blogs drives me nuts. Especially on a dark background when the font is kind of dark too. Good thing none of the blogs I regularly read are like that.
- When I see finger marks on the trunk of a nice car. I'm not talking about finger prints, I'm talking about those long streaks where the dust has been rubbed off and it looks like half a handprint on your trunk. Caused by the way people close their trunks. Don't close your trunk that way, fools.
- Those stupid quizzes you take to find out which Carebear, Star Wars character, or color of the rainbow you are. Then I see them on every person's blog/xanga. Seriously, I saw one girl's page was almost completely made up of entries that were cut and pasted from those quiz things. I mean, one or two, maybe, even I might do the Star Wars one if I'm bored some day, but this is out of control.
- Trucks on the highway that have pieces of dirt or rocks flying off and hitting my car. Every time this happens, I wanna start my own gang of green-Civic driving punks and hijack these truck drivers for causing all the chips on my hood or small cracks on my windshield. Seriously, there needs to be a law that says trucks need to keep themselves clean and not have crap flying off hitting other cars. It's just plain inconsiderate.
- Lane whores. You know what I'm talking about, that stupid driver during rush hour that switches lanes every 2 seconds, thinking that he or she is gonna save major time this way. I always love when some idiot cuts me off and is zigzagging away, then I see him 30 minutes later getting off the same exit and stopped next to me at the stoplight. Way to go, bud.
- The Bachelor. That show is so bad, so so bad. First of all, the guy is a major tool. It is painful just to listen to him talk. And here are all these girls who want him just because he is inheriting a banking empire from his parents. If the Victoria's Secret fashion show is trash for guys, this is trash for girls. They're the same thing. One is showing guys unrealistic and impossible things that they want but can't have - hot girls wearing almost no clothes struttin their stuff. The other is what girls want but can't have - a really really rich guy, fantasy dates where they get to do stuff no ordinary guy could provide, a fairy tale proposal set upon a backdrop of a huge garden by the lake where no ordinary guy could take them, and one of the biggest rocks I have ever seen in my life put on an engagement ring. All said, it's a good thing he chose Helene, Miss I-like-to-talk-when-I-kiss, cause Brooke was a wack-job. But they still aren't gonna last more than 6 months, I'll tell you that much from just watching the last 20 minutes of the last episode.
- Fantasy football. Yes, I am still bitter because I lost once again to Dave. But for some reason I never, ever, ever have a good team. I might as well just write a yearly check for $10 to Piya or Friedman and save myself the agony of a 17 week season.
- Bears football. It's sad when the only positive stat they can show about your whole team is on the kicker. And if John Shoop calls one more of those short little screen passes that never works, I am gonna flip. Visit this site Chras sent me: Fire John Shoop it's pretty funny. I am impressed at how dedicated some Bears fans are. Also check this picture:
Credit for that one goes to the Goods.
Here is a list of things that piss me off. Kind of like pet peeves, but not exactly.
- Those older cars with turn signals that blink way too fast. It makes me want to electrically engineer a sort of delayer circuit and go install it. Like a clock doubler, maybe. All it takes is a couple J-K flip-flops, I think.
- Tiny font on other people's blogs drives me nuts. Especially on a dark background when the font is kind of dark too. Good thing none of the blogs I regularly read are like that.
- When I see finger marks on the trunk of a nice car. I'm not talking about finger prints, I'm talking about those long streaks where the dust has been rubbed off and it looks like half a handprint on your trunk. Caused by the way people close their trunks. Don't close your trunk that way, fools.
- Those stupid quizzes you take to find out which Carebear, Star Wars character, or color of the rainbow you are. Then I see them on every person's blog/xanga. Seriously, I saw one girl's page was almost completely made up of entries that were cut and pasted from those quiz things. I mean, one or two, maybe, even I might do the Star Wars one if I'm bored some day, but this is out of control.
- Trucks on the highway that have pieces of dirt or rocks flying off and hitting my car. Every time this happens, I wanna start my own gang of green-Civic driving punks and hijack these truck drivers for causing all the chips on my hood or small cracks on my windshield. Seriously, there needs to be a law that says trucks need to keep themselves clean and not have crap flying off hitting other cars. It's just plain inconsiderate.
- Lane whores. You know what I'm talking about, that stupid driver during rush hour that switches lanes every 2 seconds, thinking that he or she is gonna save major time this way. I always love when some idiot cuts me off and is zigzagging away, then I see him 30 minutes later getting off the same exit and stopped next to me at the stoplight. Way to go, bud.
- The Bachelor. That show is so bad, so so bad. First of all, the guy is a major tool. It is painful just to listen to him talk. And here are all these girls who want him just because he is inheriting a banking empire from his parents. If the Victoria's Secret fashion show is trash for guys, this is trash for girls. They're the same thing. One is showing guys unrealistic and impossible things that they want but can't have - hot girls wearing almost no clothes struttin their stuff. The other is what girls want but can't have - a really really rich guy, fantasy dates where they get to do stuff no ordinary guy could provide, a fairy tale proposal set upon a backdrop of a huge garden by the lake where no ordinary guy could take them, and one of the biggest rocks I have ever seen in my life put on an engagement ring. All said, it's a good thing he chose Helene, Miss I-like-to-talk-when-I-kiss, cause Brooke was a wack-job. But they still aren't gonna last more than 6 months, I'll tell you that much from just watching the last 20 minutes of the last episode.
- Fantasy football. Yes, I am still bitter because I lost once again to Dave. But for some reason I never, ever, ever have a good team. I might as well just write a yearly check for $10 to Piya or Friedman and save myself the agony of a 17 week season.
- Bears football. It's sad when the only positive stat they can show about your whole team is on the kicker. And if John Shoop calls one more of those short little screen passes that never works, I am gonna flip. Visit this site Chras sent me: Fire John Shoop it's pretty funny. I am impressed at how dedicated some Bears fans are. Also check this picture:
Credit for that one goes to the Goods.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Get A Life
Anybody see the news last week? For the Victoria's Secret fashion show, PETA protesters ran on the stage with big signs that said stuff like "Gisele Fur Scum" before these security guys ran on and tackled them off the stage. It was hilarious.
If you didn't know, PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. These people devote their entire lives to saving animals from "unethical" treatment. Which I'm all for, cause animals are cool, but I can't believe how extreme this organization is.
For example, a couple months ago they harrassed the Milwaukee Brewers because during their games, their "Sausage Race" didn't include a vegetarian sausage. A year ago, they put up ads of Rudy Giuliani with a milk mustache saying "Got Prostate Cancer?" suggesting that his cancer was due to drinking milk. (They eventually had to apologize after he threatened to sue, but that should give you an idea of what kind of things they do).
If you visit their site, www.peta.org, it is one of the most well done, organized, and complete sites that I have ever seen. They also get some pretty famous celebrities to support their cause by appearing in ads or leading public campaigns.
Now, like I said, animals are great and I love them. I would never like to see unnecessary killing of any animals and I do agree that fur coats and things like that are probably too much. But, seeing how much effort PETA pours into their cause makes me wonder how much real good they could accomplish if they just channeled their energy to a more worthy cause.
Sure, they might succeed in convincing some people not to buy leather products, eat meat, or use cosmetic brands which employ animal testing, but how much does that contribute to this world? How does this improve society?
There are entire countries dying of starvation in this world. There are children being beaten and abused by their parents in this country, and fetuses being aborted every day by selfish and careless teenagers. Why not try to help some of them instead?
It's sad to me that a great deal of these same PETA members could care less about something like abortion in which human life is killed. I think there is a certain degree of hypocrisy to that, where people say to themselves, "If I don't see it, it's ok."
I really doubt that these people care about the fact that animals are dying, as much as they care about appeasing their own conscience when they see "cute" animals being killed. Why aren't there animal rights groups protesting mousetraps? And does every member of PETA care about the senseless killing of mosquitoes and spiders that occurs daily in everyone's homes? No, I doubt it, because there is a sort of double standard here. If you see a cute little guinea pig dying so that people can conduct research, or a pig that looks like the one from "Babe" being slaughtered so we can have bacon and pork chops, then it's wrong.
I, for one, love bacon and pork chops. To me, there's nothing wrong with killing a pig if it is for a good purpose - so that I can eat. Maybe that's insensitive, but that's how life goes, that's nature. Eat, or be eaten. Just cause a cow doesn't seem like she enjoys being milked don't mean that we shouldn't drink milk. Nobody's gonna tell me otherwise. If that cow was smart enough to rule this earth, you think it would have mercy on us? Yeah right...
The real problem here is that certain people have nothing to do, so they end up spending their lives doing stupid stuff like that. If these guys had bills to pay, kids to feed, a 9-5 job to contend with, we wouldn't see them planning silly protests at some Victoria's Secret fashion show. To these people, I say, PLEASE GET A LIFE.
Anybody see the news last week? For the Victoria's Secret fashion show, PETA protesters ran on the stage with big signs that said stuff like "Gisele Fur Scum" before these security guys ran on and tackled them off the stage. It was hilarious.
If you didn't know, PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. These people devote their entire lives to saving animals from "unethical" treatment. Which I'm all for, cause animals are cool, but I can't believe how extreme this organization is.
For example, a couple months ago they harrassed the Milwaukee Brewers because during their games, their "Sausage Race" didn't include a vegetarian sausage. A year ago, they put up ads of Rudy Giuliani with a milk mustache saying "Got Prostate Cancer?" suggesting that his cancer was due to drinking milk. (They eventually had to apologize after he threatened to sue, but that should give you an idea of what kind of things they do).
If you visit their site, www.peta.org, it is one of the most well done, organized, and complete sites that I have ever seen. They also get some pretty famous celebrities to support their cause by appearing in ads or leading public campaigns.
Now, like I said, animals are great and I love them. I would never like to see unnecessary killing of any animals and I do agree that fur coats and things like that are probably too much. But, seeing how much effort PETA pours into their cause makes me wonder how much real good they could accomplish if they just channeled their energy to a more worthy cause.
Sure, they might succeed in convincing some people not to buy leather products, eat meat, or use cosmetic brands which employ animal testing, but how much does that contribute to this world? How does this improve society?
There are entire countries dying of starvation in this world. There are children being beaten and abused by their parents in this country, and fetuses being aborted every day by selfish and careless teenagers. Why not try to help some of them instead?
It's sad to me that a great deal of these same PETA members could care less about something like abortion in which human life is killed. I think there is a certain degree of hypocrisy to that, where people say to themselves, "If I don't see it, it's ok."
I really doubt that these people care about the fact that animals are dying, as much as they care about appeasing their own conscience when they see "cute" animals being killed. Why aren't there animal rights groups protesting mousetraps? And does every member of PETA care about the senseless killing of mosquitoes and spiders that occurs daily in everyone's homes? No, I doubt it, because there is a sort of double standard here. If you see a cute little guinea pig dying so that people can conduct research, or a pig that looks like the one from "Babe" being slaughtered so we can have bacon and pork chops, then it's wrong.
I, for one, love bacon and pork chops. To me, there's nothing wrong with killing a pig if it is for a good purpose - so that I can eat. Maybe that's insensitive, but that's how life goes, that's nature. Eat, or be eaten. Just cause a cow doesn't seem like she enjoys being milked don't mean that we shouldn't drink milk. Nobody's gonna tell me otherwise. If that cow was smart enough to rule this earth, you think it would have mercy on us? Yeah right...
The real problem here is that certain people have nothing to do, so they end up spending their lives doing stupid stuff like that. If these guys had bills to pay, kids to feed, a 9-5 job to contend with, we wouldn't see them planning silly protests at some Victoria's Secret fashion show. To these people, I say, PLEASE GET A LIFE.
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Why I Hate Dave Chan
Every year, there are 2 or 3 weeks during which everything else I am doing comes to a halt and my entire focus shifts to one thing: fantasy football. This is one of those weeks. What makes this week any different from any other? Because my beloved fantasy football team is going up against the most hated franchise of all time, the one owned by Dave.
If you have not been in our league these past few years, it will be hard for you to imagine why I harbor so much hatred for one guy and his silly fantasy bunch. Well, here is some history:
I think my first ever game in the McNown league was a matchup against Dave. I don't remember much of anything that happened that entire season, but this game sticks in my mind because of just how painful it was. Having drafted what I thought was a pretty good team, I went into this game pretty confident, and early Sunday I was feeling even better since my TE, some unknown guy named Itula Mili, scored a touchdown. Unless you have Tony Gonzalez, pretty much any production from the TE spot is a huge bonus. So anyways, I'm happily watching football and enjoying the day, when I realize that my kicker, Mike Hollis, is injured. An ominous sign, but no biggie. This, however, would be followed by a worse sign: his tight end, some schmoe named Jackie Harris, scored a touchdown too. This made me mad, but I didn't panic. It couldn't come down to something as little as this, right? Well, it did. The next day, our scores were tied. Since I am the luckiest fantasy player in the world, the tiebreaker happened to be point total for each team's Kicker. So I lost.
Big deal, you might say, but you don't understand. Dave is one of those guys who seems like a nice guy, but he talks so much smack it's unbelievable. You don't ever, ever, ever want to lose to a guy like Dave because he he will rub it in more than you thought was possible. Believe me, after playing plenty of video games against that kid, I can say that there is not a single person you should fear losing to more than that guy. So the Jackie Harris thing is something that I will never ever forget.
Which brings me to the next season. (If you were wondering what happened in season 1, I lost the other 2 meetings to Dave too). My team didn't have to face Dave until week 6 or 7. At this time, I was coming off a huge emotional victory against first-place Kansas (Piya's team), finding myself perched atop the league with the most feared roster for the first time in my life - QB Donovan McNabb, WR Marvin Harrison, Jimmy Smith, RB LaDanian Tomlinson, Corey Dillon, and Eddie George. Dave's team, meanwhile, was a struggling team on which not a single player was worth mentioning. He was so scared that he changed his team name to from "Joe's Mamas" to "Joe's Bitches" not thinking that there was a chance in the world he could win this game.
Well, it turns out that his team played the game of its life to beat mine, and after that week, my team reeled off 10 or 11 straight losses to finish the season. Needless to say, I did not win the league that year and there was much smack-talking I heard from his punkass afterwards.
Anyways, fast forward to this year. After years consisting of many matchups against his team, no matter in what situation, I have NEVER won against Dave. That is one of the things he likes to brag about the most every time I see him (which isn't often anymore, but still gets under my skin). I don't understand why I always lose, but I do. He is like Michigan to my Ohio State, except I am owned in such a lopsided way that it isn't even funny anymore.
Could this week be the week? Only time will tell. I can only have my delicate little heart broken so many times before it dies completely.
The Matchup: Dudalisks vs. Mossy's Possy
Marc Bulger vs. Daunte Culpepper
Joe Horn vs. Hines Ward
Corey Dillon vs. Deuce McAllister
Mikhael Ricks vs. Jeremy Shockey
Clinton Portis vs. Randy Moss
Keyshawn Johnson vs. Fred Taylor
Michael Bennett vs. Tiki Barber
Jason Elam vs. Adam Vinatieri
Takeo Spikes vs. Julius Peppers
William Bartee vs. Derrick Brooks
Al Wilson vs. Rod Woodson
Every year, there are 2 or 3 weeks during which everything else I am doing comes to a halt and my entire focus shifts to one thing: fantasy football. This is one of those weeks. What makes this week any different from any other? Because my beloved fantasy football team is going up against the most hated franchise of all time, the one owned by Dave.
If you have not been in our league these past few years, it will be hard for you to imagine why I harbor so much hatred for one guy and his silly fantasy bunch. Well, here is some history:
I think my first ever game in the McNown league was a matchup against Dave. I don't remember much of anything that happened that entire season, but this game sticks in my mind because of just how painful it was. Having drafted what I thought was a pretty good team, I went into this game pretty confident, and early Sunday I was feeling even better since my TE, some unknown guy named Itula Mili, scored a touchdown. Unless you have Tony Gonzalez, pretty much any production from the TE spot is a huge bonus. So anyways, I'm happily watching football and enjoying the day, when I realize that my kicker, Mike Hollis, is injured. An ominous sign, but no biggie. This, however, would be followed by a worse sign: his tight end, some schmoe named Jackie Harris, scored a touchdown too. This made me mad, but I didn't panic. It couldn't come down to something as little as this, right? Well, it did. The next day, our scores were tied. Since I am the luckiest fantasy player in the world, the tiebreaker happened to be point total for each team's Kicker. So I lost.
Big deal, you might say, but you don't understand. Dave is one of those guys who seems like a nice guy, but he talks so much smack it's unbelievable. You don't ever, ever, ever want to lose to a guy like Dave because he he will rub it in more than you thought was possible. Believe me, after playing plenty of video games against that kid, I can say that there is not a single person you should fear losing to more than that guy. So the Jackie Harris thing is something that I will never ever forget.
Which brings me to the next season. (If you were wondering what happened in season 1, I lost the other 2 meetings to Dave too). My team didn't have to face Dave until week 6 or 7. At this time, I was coming off a huge emotional victory against first-place Kansas (Piya's team), finding myself perched atop the league with the most feared roster for the first time in my life - QB Donovan McNabb, WR Marvin Harrison, Jimmy Smith, RB LaDanian Tomlinson, Corey Dillon, and Eddie George. Dave's team, meanwhile, was a struggling team on which not a single player was worth mentioning. He was so scared that he changed his team name to from "Joe's Mamas" to "Joe's Bitches" not thinking that there was a chance in the world he could win this game.
Well, it turns out that his team played the game of its life to beat mine, and after that week, my team reeled off 10 or 11 straight losses to finish the season. Needless to say, I did not win the league that year and there was much smack-talking I heard from his punkass afterwards.
Anyways, fast forward to this year. After years consisting of many matchups against his team, no matter in what situation, I have NEVER won against Dave. That is one of the things he likes to brag about the most every time I see him (which isn't often anymore, but still gets under my skin). I don't understand why I always lose, but I do. He is like Michigan to my Ohio State, except I am owned in such a lopsided way that it isn't even funny anymore.
Could this week be the week? Only time will tell. I can only have my delicate little heart broken so many times before it dies completely.
The Matchup: Dudalisks vs. Mossy's Possy
Marc Bulger vs. Daunte Culpepper
Joe Horn vs. Hines Ward
Corey Dillon vs. Deuce McAllister
Mikhael Ricks vs. Jeremy Shockey
Clinton Portis vs. Randy Moss
Keyshawn Johnson vs. Fred Taylor
Michael Bennett vs. Tiki Barber
Jason Elam vs. Adam Vinatieri
Takeo Spikes vs. Julius Peppers
William Bartee vs. Derrick Brooks
Al Wilson vs. Rod Woodson
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Showing Leg
I was wearing my tearaway pants at home, with the bottom few buttons undone, when I walked by the mirror and happened to check myself out. And dang, my legs are ugly. I guess that is why only girls get to wear skirts or dresses with a slit down the side. Props for that. None for me, but thank goodness that the rest of my bod is so fine so it makes up for my lackluster legs.
Coldplay
I gotta say, their new CD is one of the most solid albums I have heard by any artist in a long time. I can't get the song "Clocks" out of my head right now. It is very U2-ish, but still a fresh sound. Highly recommended by the Dudo509 Blogspot entertainment division.
I was wearing my tearaway pants at home, with the bottom few buttons undone, when I walked by the mirror and happened to check myself out. And dang, my legs are ugly. I guess that is why only girls get to wear skirts or dresses with a slit down the side. Props for that. None for me, but thank goodness that the rest of my bod is so fine so it makes up for my lackluster legs.
Coldplay
I gotta say, their new CD is one of the most solid albums I have heard by any artist in a long time. I can't get the song "Clocks" out of my head right now. It is very U2-ish, but still a fresh sound. Highly recommended by the Dudo509 Blogspot entertainment division.
Sunday, November 10, 2002
Bears Rule
Watching the Bears game today was just about as miserable as being kicked in the nuts by a really ugly girl. Ok, so I don't know what the difference is between being kicked by an ugly or pretty girl, but whatever. I just can't believe that week after week, I continue to stupidly tune in to watch their crap and have three and a half hours of my life mercilessly ripped away.
In case you missed it, Bears built a 21 point lead in the 3rd quarter against the Patriots, only to end up losing their 7th straight game this season. It was pretty bad, I would have rather watched them get blown out 41-0 instead of making me feel like they might possibly win, then choke at the end.
So there I am, having watched about two and a half quarters of some pretty impressive Bears play that made me think we might actually win this game. We're up 27-6 in the 3rd quarter, our defense looks solid, and John Shoop is actually showing off plays designed to gain more than 5 yards on offense. Of course, my enthusiasm was somewhat tempered by the voice in the back of my head saying "hold on a second, let's not forget that we suck." That, and the stupid announcer guy kept reminding viewers "don't count out the Patriots, there's plenty of time left!" I swear, if he said "there's one way for them to come back: one play, one first down, and one touchdown at a time" another time, I was going to take a bat to the TV set. Someone who thinks such a dumb cliche thing to say is cool enough to mention 4 or 5 times in one broadcast does not belong in the booth.
Anyways, at that point I was basically just waiting to see the Bears find a way to give the game away. First drive, they basically let the Pats march downfield with no resistance. I think I saw Tom Brady dump off about 6 short passes to the same part of the field on that drive. It's like our defense was saying "here's 7 to 10 yards for you, we don't want it." I don't even like a team playing prevent-style defense late in the 4th quarter, let alone halfway through the 3rd, but that's pretty much what they did. Result, Touchdown New England, 27-13 Bears.
So then the Bears get the ball back, and no more than 2 or 3 plays later, Jim Miller throws a pick. It wasn't one of those fluke interceptions either, where the ball is tipped, or like when you lob a hail mary. This one was pretty much delivered straight into the other team's hands, like well short of the intended receiver. I don't know if it's because of his severe elbow tendinitis, but if it is, I don't know why in the world he is in the game if he can't throw right. At least don't call a passing play then, or better yet, put in Marty Booker at quarterback, he seems to throw rather well (more on this later). Anyways, defense actually holds for 3 plays but the offense basically just handed out field position like nobody's business. Result, field goal, 27-16.
Next Bears drive, 3 and out. No big surprise there. Punt, then defense goes back to giving up short passes so that the Pats can march down the field again. This time, they tighten it up in the red zone and prevent a touchdown. But still letting up 3 points with relatively little fight is not good. 27-19.
By this time, I'm pretty pissed because the Bears look content in just putzing around the rest of the game and hoping that 27 points will be enough to win. But on the next kickoff, we get a big return, followed by a short conservative drive. Of course, we don't reach the end zone, heaven forbid, but a field goal, we'll take it. 30-19.
With a little momentum back on our side, it seemed like we might win after all. But the next drive is what really puzzled me. The Bears defense plays conservative, prevent-style in the 3rd quarter and early 4th, then on a critical 3rd and 4 late in the final quarter, they decide to blitz 3 guys and leave the secondary wide open for a 36 yard touchdown pass. Way to go, idiots. Yay, we're gonna send in all our guys and not even touch the quarterback.
One thing that might have seemed good on that drive was stopping the 2-pt conversion. But honestly, I think we would've been better off giving them that so later on the Pats would maybe be content to tie with a field goal instead of being forced to win on a touchdown (which they eventually did, of course). Twisted logic, but when you are a Bears fan, that's what happens. At this time, it's 30-25, time to really start worrying.
Of course, Bears get the ball back, and did we actually think they would be able to run out the clock? Hizells no. 1st and 10, A-train gets 9 to set up 2nd and short. Looks good so far, but the next two plays they try to go up the middle twice, and get stuffed twice. Can we be a little more predictable please? I can't stand it when you see the defense loading up everyone in the box, and you still try to punch it through, knowing that there is almost no space there to begin with.
Just over 2 minutes left in the game, Bears punt, and New England gets the ball at almost midfield. I'm really just waiting for this disaster to unfold. I know it's gonna happen, only a matter of time. Except that they couldn't just lose, they had to piss me off some more before doing so. After a couple plays, the Brady Bunch reaches the 30 or so, then the gayness ensued. Bryan Robinson had what looked like an interception, which would have locked up the game for the Bears. Time to celebrate, eh? Unfortunately, for some reason he decided to start running before he had the ball, and after reviewing the play on tape, the refs declared it was just an incomplete pass. He never had full control of the ball. Now, I don't really understand why the guy feels like he needs to try and return this interception given the game situation, instead of just securing the ball where he was, but hey, this is Bryan Robinson we're talking about, so we can't be too surprised.
Alright, so Tom Brady gets a second chance, and a few plays later, David Patten finds single coverage and schools Todd McMillon for the game winning touchdown. 33-30 Patriots. Yeah, there's still 20 some seconds left for the Bears to come back. Right.... First, we have tendinitis elbow at quarterback. And second, we like to let 10 seconds run off the clock before calling timeout. It's more fun and exciting like that. Nope, no comeback, did you really think there would be one?
So basically, this was the most infuriating game I have watched in a long time, and that's saying a lot because here in Chicago I get to watch the White Sox and Bulls putz around a lot too. The one nice play the Bears had was the trick play when Marty Booker threw a touchdown to Marcus Robinson. Even that, I couldn't really celebrate because I am probably gonna lose my fantasy game because of that fricking play. Or maybe it won't end up being that close, then I won't feel so bad.
Missy Works It
Has anyone heard the remix of that song, Missy Elliot's "Work It" when she does a verse promoting the radio station it is being played on? She goes something like "This is a power 92 exclusive... Is it worth it, lemme work it, cause 92.3 will serve it... it's yer adlkjgsflkj eiughdn dkjwnvkd, it's yer welknv dnewkng nwkngne..."
Well, I have heard this on 3 different stations so far here in the Chicagoland area. Isn't the word "exclusive" supposed to mean something?
Watching the Bears game today was just about as miserable as being kicked in the nuts by a really ugly girl. Ok, so I don't know what the difference is between being kicked by an ugly or pretty girl, but whatever. I just can't believe that week after week, I continue to stupidly tune in to watch their crap and have three and a half hours of my life mercilessly ripped away.
In case you missed it, Bears built a 21 point lead in the 3rd quarter against the Patriots, only to end up losing their 7th straight game this season. It was pretty bad, I would have rather watched them get blown out 41-0 instead of making me feel like they might possibly win, then choke at the end.
So there I am, having watched about two and a half quarters of some pretty impressive Bears play that made me think we might actually win this game. We're up 27-6 in the 3rd quarter, our defense looks solid, and John Shoop is actually showing off plays designed to gain more than 5 yards on offense. Of course, my enthusiasm was somewhat tempered by the voice in the back of my head saying "hold on a second, let's not forget that we suck." That, and the stupid announcer guy kept reminding viewers "don't count out the Patriots, there's plenty of time left!" I swear, if he said "there's one way for them to come back: one play, one first down, and one touchdown at a time" another time, I was going to take a bat to the TV set. Someone who thinks such a dumb cliche thing to say is cool enough to mention 4 or 5 times in one broadcast does not belong in the booth.
Anyways, at that point I was basically just waiting to see the Bears find a way to give the game away. First drive, they basically let the Pats march downfield with no resistance. I think I saw Tom Brady dump off about 6 short passes to the same part of the field on that drive. It's like our defense was saying "here's 7 to 10 yards for you, we don't want it." I don't even like a team playing prevent-style defense late in the 4th quarter, let alone halfway through the 3rd, but that's pretty much what they did. Result, Touchdown New England, 27-13 Bears.
So then the Bears get the ball back, and no more than 2 or 3 plays later, Jim Miller throws a pick. It wasn't one of those fluke interceptions either, where the ball is tipped, or like when you lob a hail mary. This one was pretty much delivered straight into the other team's hands, like well short of the intended receiver. I don't know if it's because of his severe elbow tendinitis, but if it is, I don't know why in the world he is in the game if he can't throw right. At least don't call a passing play then, or better yet, put in Marty Booker at quarterback, he seems to throw rather well (more on this later). Anyways, defense actually holds for 3 plays but the offense basically just handed out field position like nobody's business. Result, field goal, 27-16.
Next Bears drive, 3 and out. No big surprise there. Punt, then defense goes back to giving up short passes so that the Pats can march down the field again. This time, they tighten it up in the red zone and prevent a touchdown. But still letting up 3 points with relatively little fight is not good. 27-19.
By this time, I'm pretty pissed because the Bears look content in just putzing around the rest of the game and hoping that 27 points will be enough to win. But on the next kickoff, we get a big return, followed by a short conservative drive. Of course, we don't reach the end zone, heaven forbid, but a field goal, we'll take it. 30-19.
With a little momentum back on our side, it seemed like we might win after all. But the next drive is what really puzzled me. The Bears defense plays conservative, prevent-style in the 3rd quarter and early 4th, then on a critical 3rd and 4 late in the final quarter, they decide to blitz 3 guys and leave the secondary wide open for a 36 yard touchdown pass. Way to go, idiots. Yay, we're gonna send in all our guys and not even touch the quarterback.
One thing that might have seemed good on that drive was stopping the 2-pt conversion. But honestly, I think we would've been better off giving them that so later on the Pats would maybe be content to tie with a field goal instead of being forced to win on a touchdown (which they eventually did, of course). Twisted logic, but when you are a Bears fan, that's what happens. At this time, it's 30-25, time to really start worrying.
Of course, Bears get the ball back, and did we actually think they would be able to run out the clock? Hizells no. 1st and 10, A-train gets 9 to set up 2nd and short. Looks good so far, but the next two plays they try to go up the middle twice, and get stuffed twice. Can we be a little more predictable please? I can't stand it when you see the defense loading up everyone in the box, and you still try to punch it through, knowing that there is almost no space there to begin with.
Just over 2 minutes left in the game, Bears punt, and New England gets the ball at almost midfield. I'm really just waiting for this disaster to unfold. I know it's gonna happen, only a matter of time. Except that they couldn't just lose, they had to piss me off some more before doing so. After a couple plays, the Brady Bunch reaches the 30 or so, then the gayness ensued. Bryan Robinson had what looked like an interception, which would have locked up the game for the Bears. Time to celebrate, eh? Unfortunately, for some reason he decided to start running before he had the ball, and after reviewing the play on tape, the refs declared it was just an incomplete pass. He never had full control of the ball. Now, I don't really understand why the guy feels like he needs to try and return this interception given the game situation, instead of just securing the ball where he was, but hey, this is Bryan Robinson we're talking about, so we can't be too surprised.
Alright, so Tom Brady gets a second chance, and a few plays later, David Patten finds single coverage and schools Todd McMillon for the game winning touchdown. 33-30 Patriots. Yeah, there's still 20 some seconds left for the Bears to come back. Right.... First, we have tendinitis elbow at quarterback. And second, we like to let 10 seconds run off the clock before calling timeout. It's more fun and exciting like that. Nope, no comeback, did you really think there would be one?
So basically, this was the most infuriating game I have watched in a long time, and that's saying a lot because here in Chicago I get to watch the White Sox and Bulls putz around a lot too. The one nice play the Bears had was the trick play when Marty Booker threw a touchdown to Marcus Robinson. Even that, I couldn't really celebrate because I am probably gonna lose my fantasy game because of that fricking play. Or maybe it won't end up being that close, then I won't feel so bad.
Missy Works It
Has anyone heard the remix of that song, Missy Elliot's "Work It" when she does a verse promoting the radio station it is being played on? She goes something like "This is a power 92 exclusive... Is it worth it, lemme work it, cause 92.3 will serve it... it's yer adlkjgsflkj eiughdn dkjwnvkd, it's yer welknv dnewkng nwkngne..."
Well, I have heard this on 3 different stations so far here in the Chicagoland area. Isn't the word "exclusive" supposed to mean something?
Saturday, November 09, 2002
Men, Women, and the Economy
It's been a while since I have made any controversial remarks about male/female differences, so it might be time for one of those entries.
I was just thinking about how different our lives would be if there were only guys in this world, besides the obvious of course. Consider that entire shopping malls would not exist. Anyone disagree with that? Walk into Marshall Fields and take a look around. The store is dominated by makeup counters, Coach purses, women's shoes, women's dresses (casual, formal, etc.), and Godiva chocolates. None of that is for men, now is it?
But, you might point out that there is a men's shoe section, men's apparel, men's fragrances, which are all for men. Well, that may be true, but I still believe that none of that would be there if there were no women in the world. Without a mother to bring us up, or hot chicks to impress, every single guy would end up wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, if even that much, I can almost guarantee you that.
Ok, so look elsewhere in the mall, what would you find? More women's clothes. The Build-a-Bear store. Jewelry shops. Some place selling freshly ground guava juice. Out of all the stores you typically find at shopping malls, I think only a few of these would exist if it was a men-only world. The Sharper Image, and Foot Locker, that's about it.
This doesn't only apply to malls, malls are just sort of a microcosm of the rest of the world. Women commonly claim that this society is so male-dominated, but I don't believe this is fully true. Ok, so maybe in terms of political and industrial power, men are still ahead for now. But when you think about it, this economy would be even further in the dumps if there were no women to buy stuff.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, I would say that my life is pretty simple and I don't need many things. Other than a fairly expensive car, I don't think I spend that much money on anything. I eat sandwiches every day for lunch. I have one pair of shoes for work, one pair of shoes for playing sports, and sandals for the summer. If it weren't for my sister and Olivia buying me stuff, I would probably still be wearing all my clothes from high school (when I was 6 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter). Then all I really do other than work is watch football, write blogs, or talk to people online. None of that really costs any money either. I used to at least buy Nintendo games and baseball cards.
Compare this to girls. I could write a whole long blog on how many shoes girls "need," but I'm sure others have already done that so I will spare you. Not only shoes though, it's coats, hats, sunglasses, earrings, jeans, black pants, gray pants, sweaters, rings, etc. Too much is never enough.
Or you could think of it in terms of drinks when you go out to a bar or club. Guys drink beer - $4 or 5 bucks a pop at most. Girls don't like beer (typically), that means $10+ mixed drinks, amaretto sours, midori sours, long island iced teas and the lot.
Basically, because of girls, we can't all walk around in just our underwear, watch TV, and eat Taco Bell or McDonalds every day. We gotta be "cultured" and attend musicals, eat at French restaurants once in a while, buy jewelry, and shop at the Hallmark store now and then. Our clothes have to look "presentable."
I guess I am not a very good active consumer in this American economy. I would feel bad for not contributing more of my disposable income in this time when businesses need it, but honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all if jewelry shops and Hallmark stores went bankrupt in this world. Those are such bogus industries to begin with, taking advantage of helpless boyfriends and husbands around the country. Flower shops are aiiiight though, they can stay, because they are usually run by nice, sweet hometown ladies who like flowers, instead of being a multi-million dollar corporate giant.
It's been a while since I have made any controversial remarks about male/female differences, so it might be time for one of those entries.
I was just thinking about how different our lives would be if there were only guys in this world, besides the obvious of course. Consider that entire shopping malls would not exist. Anyone disagree with that? Walk into Marshall Fields and take a look around. The store is dominated by makeup counters, Coach purses, women's shoes, women's dresses (casual, formal, etc.), and Godiva chocolates. None of that is for men, now is it?
But, you might point out that there is a men's shoe section, men's apparel, men's fragrances, which are all for men. Well, that may be true, but I still believe that none of that would be there if there were no women in the world. Without a mother to bring us up, or hot chicks to impress, every single guy would end up wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, if even that much, I can almost guarantee you that.
Ok, so look elsewhere in the mall, what would you find? More women's clothes. The Build-a-Bear store. Jewelry shops. Some place selling freshly ground guava juice. Out of all the stores you typically find at shopping malls, I think only a few of these would exist if it was a men-only world. The Sharper Image, and Foot Locker, that's about it.
This doesn't only apply to malls, malls are just sort of a microcosm of the rest of the world. Women commonly claim that this society is so male-dominated, but I don't believe this is fully true. Ok, so maybe in terms of political and industrial power, men are still ahead for now. But when you think about it, this economy would be even further in the dumps if there were no women to buy stuff.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, I would say that my life is pretty simple and I don't need many things. Other than a fairly expensive car, I don't think I spend that much money on anything. I eat sandwiches every day for lunch. I have one pair of shoes for work, one pair of shoes for playing sports, and sandals for the summer. If it weren't for my sister and Olivia buying me stuff, I would probably still be wearing all my clothes from high school (when I was 6 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter). Then all I really do other than work is watch football, write blogs, or talk to people online. None of that really costs any money either. I used to at least buy Nintendo games and baseball cards.
Compare this to girls. I could write a whole long blog on how many shoes girls "need," but I'm sure others have already done that so I will spare you. Not only shoes though, it's coats, hats, sunglasses, earrings, jeans, black pants, gray pants, sweaters, rings, etc. Too much is never enough.
Or you could think of it in terms of drinks when you go out to a bar or club. Guys drink beer - $4 or 5 bucks a pop at most. Girls don't like beer (typically), that means $10+ mixed drinks, amaretto sours, midori sours, long island iced teas and the lot.
Basically, because of girls, we can't all walk around in just our underwear, watch TV, and eat Taco Bell or McDonalds every day. We gotta be "cultured" and attend musicals, eat at French restaurants once in a while, buy jewelry, and shop at the Hallmark store now and then. Our clothes have to look "presentable."
I guess I am not a very good active consumer in this American economy. I would feel bad for not contributing more of my disposable income in this time when businesses need it, but honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all if jewelry shops and Hallmark stores went bankrupt in this world. Those are such bogus industries to begin with, taking advantage of helpless boyfriends and husbands around the country. Flower shops are aiiiight though, they can stay, because they are usually run by nice, sweet hometown ladies who like flowers, instead of being a multi-million dollar corporate giant.
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Going Overboard
Kind of weird, but it seems like while our economy was so good not too long ago, it also seems that people have been saying forever that we are gonna snap out of this recession any day now. Nobody really seems to have an explanation as to why the economy has sucked so much for the past couple years, but everyone seems agreed that in no time, we'll be back to our glory days.
Well, I am no economics expert, but I personally think that this recession happened because of one thing: human nature. People are so irrational, greedy and stupid, and it makes me so mad. Back when the economy was expanding, everything was growing uncontrollably: the internet, the cell phone industry, professional sports leagues, and the NASDAQ 100, nobody ever thought it would all crash and burn like it has since then.
So what did people do? Anybody who knew half a thing about computers went out and started their own Internet company. Lucent built itself a little city out by the Naperville/Lisle area. Major League Baseball, already overexpanded with the Rockies and Marlins, went out and got the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays. Enron and other companies nobody had ever heard of spent millions buying the naming rights to stadiums or Bowl Games just so people knew who they were. And every common schmoe went and bet their savings accounts on whatever stock looked good at the time, having seen their friends around them get rich quick.
Now, did anyone back then think to themselves, "gee, there's no way these industries can keep growing 800% per year or at some crazy exponential rate"? Probably very few. No, most people and most companies, having made a hefty sum off the economy's expansion, went out and bought themselves more stock, built more fancy office buildings, and put out as many products as they could, expecting that demand would continue to skyrocket and meet the supply. The classic mistake of "counting your chickens before they're hatched" was one that just about everybody was guilty of.
So then what? The economy started to sputter. Or, the way I see it, people bought all the computers they needed, and got all the cell phones and digital cameras they could use. Companies upgraded their servers already and the country didn't need a million consulting firms or network advisors. Rather than realizing the fact that people weren't gonna need to buy a new [fill-in-the-blank] every other month, they tried to shove more down our throats. Everything snowballed from there, and before you knew it, all of the new internet companies that were so hot went bankrupt and disappeared. The bigger tech companies like Lucent and Motorola went on layoff sprees as their profits plunged. Soon enough, Major League Baseball was talking about contraction, while Enron Field stood as a symbol of the gigantic failures the country was experiencing and the uncontrolled greed which had brought the failures about. And the stock market continues to make new long term lows each day.
They say hindsight is 20/20, but wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to set ourselves up for disaster? Wouldn't it be great if people had foresight for once? It's sad that human nature is so hard to overcome. Did you know that something like 90% of people who try daytrading come away unsuccessful? It is because of human nature. We are greedy and irrational, not to mention hopelessly stupid at times. Don't even get me started about how normal, educated people can actually have problems figuring out how to vote using a ballot.
Why did I just write so much on this topic, you might ask? Well, one reason is because I have problems writing anything short and concise. But honestly, this is something that really pisses me off. An economic depression sucks for everybody, but I think it is really nobody's fault but our own. I guess maybe I won't be able to change the world and make people smarter by this blog, but at least I can vent a little and throw out some irritable thoughts.
Kind of weird, but it seems like while our economy was so good not too long ago, it also seems that people have been saying forever that we are gonna snap out of this recession any day now. Nobody really seems to have an explanation as to why the economy has sucked so much for the past couple years, but everyone seems agreed that in no time, we'll be back to our glory days.
Well, I am no economics expert, but I personally think that this recession happened because of one thing: human nature. People are so irrational, greedy and stupid, and it makes me so mad. Back when the economy was expanding, everything was growing uncontrollably: the internet, the cell phone industry, professional sports leagues, and the NASDAQ 100, nobody ever thought it would all crash and burn like it has since then.
So what did people do? Anybody who knew half a thing about computers went out and started their own Internet company. Lucent built itself a little city out by the Naperville/Lisle area. Major League Baseball, already overexpanded with the Rockies and Marlins, went out and got the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays. Enron and other companies nobody had ever heard of spent millions buying the naming rights to stadiums or Bowl Games just so people knew who they were. And every common schmoe went and bet their savings accounts on whatever stock looked good at the time, having seen their friends around them get rich quick.
Now, did anyone back then think to themselves, "gee, there's no way these industries can keep growing 800% per year or at some crazy exponential rate"? Probably very few. No, most people and most companies, having made a hefty sum off the economy's expansion, went out and bought themselves more stock, built more fancy office buildings, and put out as many products as they could, expecting that demand would continue to skyrocket and meet the supply. The classic mistake of "counting your chickens before they're hatched" was one that just about everybody was guilty of.
So then what? The economy started to sputter. Or, the way I see it, people bought all the computers they needed, and got all the cell phones and digital cameras they could use. Companies upgraded their servers already and the country didn't need a million consulting firms or network advisors. Rather than realizing the fact that people weren't gonna need to buy a new [fill-in-the-blank] every other month, they tried to shove more down our throats. Everything snowballed from there, and before you knew it, all of the new internet companies that were so hot went bankrupt and disappeared. The bigger tech companies like Lucent and Motorola went on layoff sprees as their profits plunged. Soon enough, Major League Baseball was talking about contraction, while Enron Field stood as a symbol of the gigantic failures the country was experiencing and the uncontrolled greed which had brought the failures about. And the stock market continues to make new long term lows each day.
They say hindsight is 20/20, but wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to set ourselves up for disaster? Wouldn't it be great if people had foresight for once? It's sad that human nature is so hard to overcome. Did you know that something like 90% of people who try daytrading come away unsuccessful? It is because of human nature. We are greedy and irrational, not to mention hopelessly stupid at times. Don't even get me started about how normal, educated people can actually have problems figuring out how to vote using a ballot.
Why did I just write so much on this topic, you might ask? Well, one reason is because I have problems writing anything short and concise. But honestly, this is something that really pisses me off. An economic depression sucks for everybody, but I think it is really nobody's fault but our own. I guess maybe I won't be able to change the world and make people smarter by this blog, but at least I can vent a little and throw out some irritable thoughts.
Monday, November 04, 2002
Life As Joseph Y. Chen
People often say to me, "Joe, you got it made. Good looks, millions of dollars in stock holdings, and Britney Spears stickers in your wallet." To this, I usually reply, "Yah, I know."
Actually, nobody has ever said anything remotely like that to me in my life. And I don't really have millions in stock holdings.
But anyways, since I havent written anything in about a week, I thought I would drop down some of what has been going on in the wild and wacky world of dudo509.
I've finished about 4 weeks at the new job already. Life is becoming routine, which is good and bad. Good, in that I have regular sleep and eating schedules, and I feel healthier than I have been in a long time. Bad, in that I miss the freedom and chill atmosphere of school. Basically, this is my day in a nutshell:
[6:30-7] Wake up
[7-8] Drive to work. Listen to morning radio shows, which are all basically made of a bunch of crank calls by the hosts with a little bit of music sprinkled in here and there. Kind of dumb and pointless if you think about it, but I listen anyways. Sometimes I learn interesting facts. Did you know that some civilizations used shells or corn cobs before toilet paper was invented? sweet...
[8-4:30] Work. Eat lunch. Talk to my coworkers about sports. Work.
[4:30-5:30] Drive home. Listen to my CDs or my Rio because I don't feel like hearing that Nelly and Kelly song or some Eminem song that is on every station every 5 minutes. Although me and Olivia are planning to go see 8 Mile because we are ghetto. Actually just her.
[5:30-6] Talk to people on IM, Check email, Read ESPN.com Page 2
[6-7] Eat dinner. Sit down and chill for a bit.
[7-10] Watch football/lift/write blogs/read blogs/talk on IM
[10-10:15] Make my lunch: a turkey or roast beef sandwich, a bag of chips, a pack of Capri Sun (or can of Sprite if I'm feeling extra spicy), and some fruit that my mom secretly shoves in my lunch bag when I'm not looking
[10:15-11] Shower and get ready for bed
[11-11:30] Sleep
(actually, this is my day in a nutshell: "help! I'm in a nutshell! how did I get in this bloody great big nutshell? what kind of shell has nuts like this? this is crazy...")
Basically, if I decide to do something with a friend on any weeknight, that wipes out pretty much anything else I would normally do on that night. Makes me appreciate weekends that much more, which is exactly what some working folk told me before. I am thinking that eventually I am gonna have to move closer, which will save me up to 2 hours a day.
The drive kind of sucks. I hate stop and go traffic, it makes me irrational and irritable. Like, I know it's not the fault of the car in front of me, but I start hating whatever car is in front of me because it keeps stopping. Unless the car in front of me is a G35 sedan, of course, but I haven't seen too many of those on the street. Yay for me, I like having a semi-unique car. I guess Maximas and M5s are also exempt from my irrational anger. But anyways, I am really surprised that more rear-end accidents don't happen. At least 2 or 3 times a day, I have to slam on my brakes because traffic suddenly goes from 60 mph to 2 mph. That ain't cool.
So this past week was the birthdays of 2 of my favorite people in this world, which was part of the reason for cramping my blogging flava. It's all good though. Thursday was Olivia's 22nd. Yes, she is a Halloween baby. I never celebrated Halloween before, it seemed like a dumb thing that white people made up because they were bored and scaring themselves seemed like a good idea. Then I realized when I went to Taiwan that Asians do that kind of crap too.
But yeah, I still don't celebrate Halloween, though the day is now a day of horror which I dread for weeks or months in advance. I suck at buying gifts, it's so hard figuring out what to get for her. I wish that her gifts for me sucked, so I wouldn't feel bad if my gift for her sucked. It's too bad she has to be the most thoughtful person in the world and notice things I say which I don't even realize I said, picking up all these awesome gift ideas along the way.
For her birthday, we went to eat at Rosebud on Thursday night. It's a pretty good restaurant, good food, nice atmosphere and not that ritzy or expensive. I hear that her friend who used to work there would see Italian mafia-looking guys come in and head towards the back room with some suitcases, that's pretty cool if it's true. Oh yeah, it's the original Rosebud on Taylor, don't blame me if you go to one of the other ones and it sucks.
Friday I went to dinner with her and her friends, then the Bulls game. It was the home opener against the New Orleans Hornets and we sat in literally the last row. So I couldn't tell if Candice was among the Luvabulls. She is on the website though, so I guess the rumor is true. Bulls won, even though Jamal Crawford and Marcus Fizer blow. It's been awhile since we started a season 2-0, but I don't think we should get too excited just yet.
Then Saturday was the P-man's birthday. We watched Jackass, which was hilarious except for a couple parts which were downright wrong. Watching a movie like that is twice as funny when you are with people who appreciate crass humor. I was kind of mad for getting asked for ID twice (once at the ticket booth and once by the guy who rips your stub), but then I talked to Caddy and she told me how she got carded for the Nutty Professor (PG-13) so I don't feel so stupid. Then, we went out for a bit and I saw a whole bunch of the old peeps from U of I. Pretty nice, made me miss school a little more.
It seems like a lot of people have birthdays around this time. I guess January and February were the times when our moms and dads needed to keep each other warm the most, twenty-some years ago. eeewwwwwww
I don't think the concept of a birthday is that meaningful, and I personally don't care if nobody even says happy birthday to me on my birthday. My ideal birthday would be to sit around and not be stressed about anything. But birthdays are still good to celebrate, because everybody has one, and it's like one day of the year where you can kind of show appreciation to a friend that you don't usually appreciate the rest of the year. Kind of in a Mother's/Father's Day sense. But it's weak if they try to milk it for all it's got, like make people buy them dinner and drinks for a whole week and demand awesome presents. Good thing I don't know anyone like that though.
Ah, I got off track from what I was originally writing about, like always. That's my life though, aren't you all jealous? Women want me, men want to be me...
People often say to me, "Joe, you got it made. Good looks, millions of dollars in stock holdings, and Britney Spears stickers in your wallet." To this, I usually reply, "Yah, I know."
Actually, nobody has ever said anything remotely like that to me in my life. And I don't really have millions in stock holdings.
But anyways, since I havent written anything in about a week, I thought I would drop down some of what has been going on in the wild and wacky world of dudo509.
I've finished about 4 weeks at the new job already. Life is becoming routine, which is good and bad. Good, in that I have regular sleep and eating schedules, and I feel healthier than I have been in a long time. Bad, in that I miss the freedom and chill atmosphere of school. Basically, this is my day in a nutshell:
[6:30-7] Wake up
[7-8] Drive to work. Listen to morning radio shows, which are all basically made of a bunch of crank calls by the hosts with a little bit of music sprinkled in here and there. Kind of dumb and pointless if you think about it, but I listen anyways. Sometimes I learn interesting facts. Did you know that some civilizations used shells or corn cobs before toilet paper was invented? sweet...
[8-4:30] Work. Eat lunch. Talk to my coworkers about sports. Work.
[4:30-5:30] Drive home. Listen to my CDs or my Rio because I don't feel like hearing that Nelly and Kelly song or some Eminem song that is on every station every 5 minutes. Although me and Olivia are planning to go see 8 Mile because we are ghetto. Actually just her.
[5:30-6] Talk to people on IM, Check email, Read ESPN.com Page 2
[6-7] Eat dinner. Sit down and chill for a bit.
[7-10] Watch football/lift/write blogs/read blogs/talk on IM
[10-10:15] Make my lunch: a turkey or roast beef sandwich, a bag of chips, a pack of Capri Sun (or can of Sprite if I'm feeling extra spicy), and some fruit that my mom secretly shoves in my lunch bag when I'm not looking
[10:15-11] Shower and get ready for bed
[11-11:30] Sleep
(actually, this is my day in a nutshell: "help! I'm in a nutshell! how did I get in this bloody great big nutshell? what kind of shell has nuts like this? this is crazy...")
Basically, if I decide to do something with a friend on any weeknight, that wipes out pretty much anything else I would normally do on that night. Makes me appreciate weekends that much more, which is exactly what some working folk told me before. I am thinking that eventually I am gonna have to move closer, which will save me up to 2 hours a day.
The drive kind of sucks. I hate stop and go traffic, it makes me irrational and irritable. Like, I know it's not the fault of the car in front of me, but I start hating whatever car is in front of me because it keeps stopping. Unless the car in front of me is a G35 sedan, of course, but I haven't seen too many of those on the street. Yay for me, I like having a semi-unique car. I guess Maximas and M5s are also exempt from my irrational anger. But anyways, I am really surprised that more rear-end accidents don't happen. At least 2 or 3 times a day, I have to slam on my brakes because traffic suddenly goes from 60 mph to 2 mph. That ain't cool.
So this past week was the birthdays of 2 of my favorite people in this world, which was part of the reason for cramping my blogging flava. It's all good though. Thursday was Olivia's 22nd. Yes, she is a Halloween baby. I never celebrated Halloween before, it seemed like a dumb thing that white people made up because they were bored and scaring themselves seemed like a good idea. Then I realized when I went to Taiwan that Asians do that kind of crap too.
But yeah, I still don't celebrate Halloween, though the day is now a day of horror which I dread for weeks or months in advance. I suck at buying gifts, it's so hard figuring out what to get for her. I wish that her gifts for me sucked, so I wouldn't feel bad if my gift for her sucked. It's too bad she has to be the most thoughtful person in the world and notice things I say which I don't even realize I said, picking up all these awesome gift ideas along the way.
For her birthday, we went to eat at Rosebud on Thursday night. It's a pretty good restaurant, good food, nice atmosphere and not that ritzy or expensive. I hear that her friend who used to work there would see Italian mafia-looking guys come in and head towards the back room with some suitcases, that's pretty cool if it's true. Oh yeah, it's the original Rosebud on Taylor, don't blame me if you go to one of the other ones and it sucks.
Friday I went to dinner with her and her friends, then the Bulls game. It was the home opener against the New Orleans Hornets and we sat in literally the last row. So I couldn't tell if Candice was among the Luvabulls. She is on the website though, so I guess the rumor is true. Bulls won, even though Jamal Crawford and Marcus Fizer blow. It's been awhile since we started a season 2-0, but I don't think we should get too excited just yet.
Then Saturday was the P-man's birthday. We watched Jackass, which was hilarious except for a couple parts which were downright wrong. Watching a movie like that is twice as funny when you are with people who appreciate crass humor. I was kind of mad for getting asked for ID twice (once at the ticket booth and once by the guy who rips your stub), but then I talked to Caddy and she told me how she got carded for the Nutty Professor (PG-13) so I don't feel so stupid. Then, we went out for a bit and I saw a whole bunch of the old peeps from U of I. Pretty nice, made me miss school a little more.
It seems like a lot of people have birthdays around this time. I guess January and February were the times when our moms and dads needed to keep each other warm the most, twenty-some years ago. eeewwwwwww
I don't think the concept of a birthday is that meaningful, and I personally don't care if nobody even says happy birthday to me on my birthday. My ideal birthday would be to sit around and not be stressed about anything. But birthdays are still good to celebrate, because everybody has one, and it's like one day of the year where you can kind of show appreciation to a friend that you don't usually appreciate the rest of the year. Kind of in a Mother's/Father's Day sense. But it's weak if they try to milk it for all it's got, like make people buy them dinner and drinks for a whole week and demand awesome presents. Good thing I don't know anyone like that though.
Ah, I got off track from what I was originally writing about, like always. That's my life though, aren't you all jealous? Women want me, men want to be me...
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