Thanksgiving Weekend

Hope everyone out there had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Mine had its ups and downs. Among the highlights/lowlights:

- Had our traditional Thanksgiving dinner with the family. As I have explained in past years, "Traditional Thanksgiving dinner" for the Chen family doesn't mean turkey, yams, cornbread, and cranberry sauce. It means slices of raw meat, fish balls, squid, shrimp, bok choy, rice noodles, golden mushrooms and more, all cooked in a boiling pot in front of you and then dipped in a mixture of raw eggs and Chinese barbeque sauce. The almighty Hot Pot. I'm lovin it.

- Got to hang with 2 of my favorite people who moved away but were back in town for the weekend, Vic and P. It was only for a couple hours at Ontourage, not exactly my favorite place, but still a treat. Also good to see the rest of you guys who were out that night too, of course. I finally took some pictures too:












- Watched the Incredibles. Good movie, I recommend it. Stories about superheroes are just cool. I can admit it, after watching X-Men I went home and pretended that I had superpowers too. Also, it seems to me that these Pixar movies in general are a cut above the other animated movies coming out these days. Toy Story, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, and now the Incredibles are all much better movies than the other two I saw recently, Shrek 2 and Shark Tale.

- Played some football, in a field composed entirely of snow and mud. It was messy but fun.

- Fantasy football was definitely not fun. Brace yourselves for my long sob story. It was probably the most miserable week I have ever had in fantasy sports (and I have had my share of bad weeks).

Coming into the week I was tied for 4th place, a game out of being tied for first, and facing Dan's team (one of the first place teams) with only 5 weeks left. In other words, it was pretty much a must win if I wanted to have any shot of contending for this year's title. So during every spare moment I had this week, I was looking up stats and reading up on the matchups, agonizing over how the weekend would unfold. By the time games started on Thursday, I could probably tell you every last detail about every player on my team or Dan's team, all the info on every opposing team they were going against, and every player I considered picking up.

Well, I ended up losing a close one. My team did pretty well, but as has been the story for me all year in McNown league, the other team scored more than it should have, and handed me yet another heartbreaking loss. Maybe at the end of the season I will write a recap of this year's results, and break down the numbers to show the different ways that fantasy football was horrible to me in 2004.

In the end, I watched about 15 hours of football games between Thursday and Sunday, filled with plenty of back and forth moments between my team and Dan's that kept me hooked to the computer or TV up through the very last seconds of the Sunday night game. As I watched Jason Elam line up for a last minute field goal yesterday in bed, my count of the scoring had me trailing Dan by 2, which meant that I would have won our matchup if he made it. Of course, the field goal was blocked, giving me a -1 instead of +3 and making me very very sad.

As it turns out, I woke up this morning to find that Yahoo scoring had me losing by 5, which means I would have lost even if Elam made that field goal. In hindsight, I guess it's somewhat more comforting than losing by 1 or 2. But that didn't keep me from tossing and turning in my bed all night, torturing myself by thinking about all the little things that might have cost me the game (and the rest of the season along with it). Not just the blocked FG, but Aaron Brooks throwing an interception on the last play of his game (not even a Hail Mary, it was picked at the 20 yard line), Patrick Kerney getting a sack nullified by a teammate's penalty, NFL.com crediting one of Reuben Droughns's two fumbles to Jake Plummer, Lelie setting up a Droughns TD by falling down at the 2 yard line, and worst of all, Willis McGahee dropping 4 touchdowns on me.

FOUR TOUCHDOWNS BY WILLIS MCGAHEE.... so maddening. I hate him and the Bills and the Seahawks so much after this game. For years, the Bills have been the biggest pansies when it comes to taking chances, yet all of a sudden they're:

1. Onside kicking to start the second half despite being ahead by 2 TDs, and

2. Passing up on a reasonable field goal to go for it on 4th down, despite being up by 3 TDs in the fourth quarter (!!)

And the Seahawks, could this team possibly be more inconsistent and overrated? To think people were picking them to win the Superbowl in the preseason, and talking about it being Matt Hasselbeck's breakout year. They're all colossal wastes of space if you ask me. As I look back at the situation, if McGahee would have "only" scored 3 TDs instead of 4, I would have won this week. I better stop thinking about it before it drives me more insane.

By the way, Happy Bday to Dan if you read this. Seriously, fantasy football aside, I hope your birthday was a good one.

- It wasn't all bad in sports this weekend though. Saturday's Illini game was a real treat to watch, as we crushed Gonzaga in our first game against a ranked team this year. Obviously we're not gonna continue to shoot these ungodly percentages the whole year, but even so, this team looks pretty damn good right now.

Needless to say, this Wednesday's game coming up against Wake Forest is gonna be huge, much bigger than any game at Assembly Hall back when I was still in school. I was looking up ticket prices a couple weeks ago and they were ridiculous, like 188 each for C-level seats and 488 each on B-level.

I guess it makes sense though - honestly, as a sports fan around here these days, what is there to get excited about other than the Illini? A month into the NBA season, the Bulls are 1-9. Meanwhile, the Bears just signed Jeff George for some inexplicable reason. Neither team has been any good for years now, and don't figure to be good anytime soon either. Illini football just fired their coach after yet another horrible season. That program hasn't been good either, since the time we had, well, Jeff George. Ok, maybe not that long ago, but it's definitely been a while.

I guess Ron Artest will have plenty of time to work on and promote his rap album now.

Out of all the entertaining parts of last friday's brawl, it's hard to pick a favorite. Jermaine O'Neal jacking that guy with a running haymaker was quality, and Stephen Jackson going nuts all over the place was good too. It was also hilarious when the fan was punching Artest from behind, and then Artest turned around and started whaling on him.

I can't find a good video or picture of it, but I think the first guy Artest chased in the stands was actually holding a drink in his hand when Artest started kicking his ass. Wasn't the whole point of going after that fan because he thought that was the guy who threw the beer on him? I guess it never crossed Ronny-boy's mind that maybe if the man was still holding his drink, he probably wasn't the one who threw a drink at him. Hilarious.

Thanks to my dad's internet hookups (I know, what the), he downloaded a bunch of pirated movies which I watched this weekend. Actually, it was just the first half of Shark Tale (I hope it was the lame half, cause it was pretty lame), and Dodgeball. He also got Alexander, but it turned out to be not the one that just came out, but an old movie called Alexander the Great from the 60's or 70's.

I heard the new version of Alexander is under fire in Greece because it suggests that he was gay/bisexual. Interesting.... I wouldn't be surprised, I always thought Colin Farrell was kind of queer.

I also heard that the mom from Meet the Parents is the real-life mom of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Considering how horrible a time it is to be a sports fan around Chicago these days, it is that much more of a relief that Illini basketball is back. Bulls have zero wins in 8 games, everyone important on the Bears is injured, and there's not even a NHL season to follow.

If anyone is going down to U of I at all in the next few weeks, can you do me a favor and try to get a couple of those Illini basketball schedule posters for me? I would like to continue the tradition:



Maybe one of these days I will have to write the entire story on the Wafflemaker Quest, but for now just some highlights:

- Flipped Will on the sidewalk after a friendly hug from behind
- Insulted some girl
- Miller Lite sign
- Licked a slice of pizza and yelled at Andy for not eating it
- Played with a rabbit and got lots of fur shedded on my coat. It's ok though, I love rabbits.
- Test tube shot injuries

Favorite song right now: Lil Wayne - "Go DJ". I like the lyrics, so inspiring.

On the other hand, one song that bothers me is John Mayer's "Daughters". It's not that I have anything against cheesy music, in fact I have this CD and like it overall. But this song is just annoying. Like some guy is going to listen to this song and be like "I guess I should be good to my daughter, John Mayer said so"? Lame.

Anti Norton AntiVirus

I've had my laptop for a few months now, and pretty much everything about it is great, except for one thing. It came pre-loaded with Norton AntiVirus software, which only had a 3 month subscription that ran out a few weeks ago, and now it won't stop bugging me to renew. I tried to uninstall the program, and not only did I fail at that endeavor, but I now get these stupid error messages every time I boot up, in addition to the reminders to renew.

Some of you may be thinking, how hard can it be to uninstall a program? Just go to the Start menu, the program folder, and find the "Uninstall Norton AntiVirus" shortcut, right? Sounds good, but there was no such option to be found, anywhere. Believe me, I looked everywhere. When was the last time you saw a program that didn't come with its own uninstall feature? I mean, even the little dinky apps you download from freeware sites all come with an option that lets you uninstall.

It's ok though, no big deal. I'll use my computer smarts and go to the Windows Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs, and Remove Norton AV myself. Again, no such luck. Norton AntiVirus was listed, but when I selected it, there was no button there to "Change/Remove" like every other program has.

Now I was pissed. How can there be no option in Control Panel to remove this program? I mean, it's one thing if it's a Microsoft program, which might have features closely integrated to Windows and stuff, and even then, I think they usually give you the option to remove. But this is THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE. HOW DARE THEY TELL ME WHAT PROGRAM I CAN AND CAN'T REMOVE??!

Actually, I checked some of the other programs in the Control Panel list, and to my surprise, a few of the other ones were the same way, no "Change/Remove" button. I don't remember this ever being an issue in Windows 2000, maybe it's a new thing in XP? In any case, it's BS. Nobody should have the right to decide what I keep and what I delete on MY computer, except for me.

At one point in this ordeal, I hit a new low. That is, when I told Olivia about my problems and she decided she would try to help me. You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend is working on fixing your computer for you. The same girl who still connects with dialup, uses the internet mostly to shop for clothes or look up pictures of puppies, and believes it's a good idea to click those "Unsubscribe" links in spam emails. Needless to say, it took her about 5 minutes of struggling with my computer before she, too, gave up. Even though I wanted the program off my system, I have to admit that deep down, I was somewhat relieved when she failed. It just wouldn't sit too well with my manhood if I needed my girlfriend to fix my computer for me.

So after all this, I still got the error messages and the renewal reminders to deal with. What makes those reminders that much more infuriating is the way they are presented. At the top, a message that says "Your virus definitions are not up to date" in red letters. As you all know, red means danger. Then it gives two options:

[ ] Renew now (recommended)
[ ] Remind me again in {drop down box} days

WOW, thank you SO MUCH for the recommendation! I wasn't going to renew, but since you recommend it, sign me up immediately! Worse yet, the only selections in the drop down box were either "1" or "15". So basically, I have three choices: 1. Paying these assclowns for a service that I think is worthless to begin with (more on this in a little bit), 2. Having them bug me to pay them every day for as long as I have this computer, or 3. Having them bug me every 15 days for as long as I have this computer. Awesome.

If there's one thing I hate, it's shady and/or unprofessional business practice. For example, when record companies flood Kazaa with bogus files to foil downloaders, it just makes me that much more determined to steal their music out of spite. Likewise, when Norton Antivirus tries to coerce me into subscribing to their services thru repeated harrassment, I do not respond well.

For a while now, I have thought of the whole antivirus industry as a sham to begin with. By now, I have been using computers for more than 10 years and as far as I can remember, not once has my antivirus software saved me from any real threat. There actually was a time when I respected Peter Norton because of his exceptionally useful set of DOS utilities, and thus figured his antivirus programs would be just as good. Unfortunately, I think his name has been sufficiently whored out to the large corporations over the years, to the point where he probably has little if anything to do with the software that still bears his picture on the cover. And if I ever meet the people who designed the current version of Norton Antivirus, I swear I will punch them all in their ovaries, Ron Burgundy style.

I'm not saying that there aren't viruses (virii?) out there. I'm sure there do exist viruses that can destroy your computer, but I think as long as you aren't a dumbass about opening suspicious attachments and that kind of thing, you wouldn't really have to worry about getting them. Either way, if a really potent virus does happen to come along, your antivirus software probably won't be able to catch it anyways, because it's too new to have any definitions available.

Basically what I'm saying is, all NAV really does is slow down your computer, interfere with some legitimate installation programs, and try to charge you for letting them continue to do so. I suppose if you are the ignorant type, you might enjoy paying for that false sense of security. But for me, I will never ever pay for worthless garbage. I just want the stupid program off my computer and out of my life. And soon, before I flip out and the ovary-punching rampage begins.

Seizure

I witnessed someone having a seizure yesterday. It was probably the scariest thing I have ever seen in person. A bunch of us were in a meeting, when suddenly the guy next to me started spasming and making all these weird noises. Face turning blue, then white, then red, white again, mouth foaming and everything.

Not knowing what the freak was happening or what to do about it, all we could do was try to steady him in his chair as he was violently shaking. Then after the spasms stopped, he started moving around like a zombie as we tried to keep him in the room until the paramedics arrived. When we stopped him from moving around too far, he started fighting us and shouting. At first it was incoherent, then he was shouting stuff like "LET ME GO" or "STOP HOLDING ME", which continued even after the paramedics got there and were trying to strap him to a stretcher.

Like I said, it was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced firsthand. At one point I was holding him when his eyes rolled backwards, his mouth all foamy, and his body went limp. I really thought he was going to die right there in my arms.

For the rest of the day I felt a little lightheaded and weak, as that scene kept replaying in my head. He was literally in the middle of a sentence when all of this started happening, and within seconds, complete chaos. Always knew him as a normal, somewhat quiet guy, nice person and good sense of humor, maybe only a year or two older than me. I think they said he was on medication for something, but other than that, he seemed healthy enough.

I don't know how many of you out there have witnessed anything like that, but I haven't ever seen anything remotely close to this in my life and it scared the crap out of me. And I don't think of myself as a person who scares easily in general. Didn't know if it was a heart attack, panic attack, epilepsy, or even demon possession at the time. Afterwards, one of the medics explained that he would probably be okay, that it looked a lot worse than it was, and it was common for the person to be combative in their disoriented state, which he definitely was. And thankfully, the news today is that he was released from the hospital and is doing fine, so I guess the medic was right.

Still, I really hope I (or anyone) would ever have to witness, or worse yet, have a seizure like that. If any of you are ever in that situation, though, one thing I heard is that you should put something soft in the person's mouth so they don't bite their tongue off. Other than that, just hope the paramedics get there fast and let them handle it.

Thus ends my horror story of the day. Sorry if it was disturbing.

Fogo de Chao

For Olivia's birthday we went to this place, known for all-you-can-eat steak. Corner of La Salle and Ontario (or is it Erie), basically right around Hard Rock Cafe and Rock & Roll McDonalds. The deal is, you pay $48 a person for all you can eat, except drinks and dessert. Waiters come around with these big shishkebob type things with different kinds of freshly cooked meat on them. You tell them what you want, whether you want the rarer or more well done sections, and they carve it off for you on the spot.

I'm not an expert on restaurants, but I highly recommend this place. The food was really really good - we especially liked the house special rump roast cut. I liked the service and general atmosphere too, even though it was an expensive place, the people there weren't snooty, overbearing, or anything like that. You get your food fast, and they refill your water often, but they aren't bothering you every 2 minutes either to ask if everything is ok for the 50th time either. I hate when waiters do that. Thanks to their red/green coaster system (you get a coaster and flip it to the red side if you don't want to be interrupted, green side to have the waiters come by), you can eat in peace until you want to be served again.

Like I said, I'm no food critic. For $48 a person, it's probably too steep to go regularly, but unless you are a vegetarian, I definitely think it's worth going once in a while. Nothing beats a really great, high quality meal, and that is what you get at this place.

By the way, I also had dinner at Biaggi's yesterday. I don't know what the rest of you think, but back in the day at U of I, I always thought that Biaggi's was this super nice place that you only go to for special occasions. As a college student, pretty much all of our options for food were at around the same level. If it wasn't fast food, we rarely went anywhere beyond the standard places like Friday's, Chili's, Steak & Shake, Applebee's, Fazoli, Olive Garden, etc. Biaggi's always seemed like it was a big step above all those places. In my 4 years at school, I only went there once, and it was for lunch on a Sunday.

Well, when I went yesterday, the place didn't seem quite as high class as I used to think it was. Maybe the Biaggi's in Deer Park isn't as nice as the one in Champaign, but I doubt that. I think it's more because of the fact that I have gotten to eat at a lot more nicer places, in the 2 years since I left school and started working. It just feels weird that a place I used to think was so fancy, is now merely a somewhat souped-up version of Olive Garden in my mind.

Fantasy Politics

During a conversation at dinner yesterday, the topic came up on how our country's political system is limited to 2-parties. I haven't studied political science beyond junior year of high school, so I can't really get into an in-depth discussion about whether it's good to have more political parties involved or not, instead of just Democrat/Republican.

However, one thing I was thinking about was how cool it would be if we had like 20-30 political parties to choose from (instead of 2.01). Not so much in the sense of increasing democracy (i.e. allowing more groups to be represented). But if we had that many candidates for each election, from the local races to the Presidential races, then we could have fantasy leagues for politics.

I can picture it: every time an election year comes around, you and your boys would hold a draft, a few months in advance of Nov. 2nd. The standard league settings would probably require you to start 1 President, 2 Senators, a bunch of Congressmen, 1 Mayor, 1 Governor, maybe a few state senators too. Then you score points depending on how well they do in the election. Like 1 Fantasy point for every 15 electoral votes in the presidential race, 1 pt for each percentage of the vote in the other races, 10 for each win, etc.

The only problem is that there isn't enough games, it all ends up coming down to one day. Although I'm sure you could probably tweak the rules somehow, to let you have weekly matchups, even starting maybe as early as the primaries.

I know it sounds stupid, but I'm telling you, it could work. Basically all of the same things that make fantasy football or baseball exciting translate to fantasy politics. Like in this year's race, the biggest stud to get would probably be Barack Obama, pretty much a lock to win, especially more valuable at a critical position like Senator. On the other hand, if you drafted Jack Ryan, you got totally screwed when he pulled a Ricky Williams, forcing you to scramble to pick up a scrub like Alan Keyes off the waiver wire to replace him.

Trades would be cool too. Maybe after watching the 2nd Presidential debate, you would decide to ship G-Dubs and Phil Crane in return for Kerry, Melissa Bean, and a first round pick in the next election (which would probably get you a stud mayor like Daley).

Most importantly, if we could make fantasy politics a reality, more people would definitely follow politics more closely and passionately, like they should be anyways. We wouldn't need Puff Daddy and Cameron Diaz begging us to vote, or need Ben & Jerry's and Chipotle to remind us to register.

Ok, so in the end, maybe it's not the greatest or most realistic idea. Sorry. This is the kind of thing that happens when I go out to a club and don't drink, smoke, or dance, and then my mind wanders off to nowhere.

I guess what makes fantasy sports what it is, is that it's separate from reality (hence the "fantasy" part). To some extent you control your team's results, but mostly it still depends on a lot of things you have no control over. And when your team loses, it hurts, but outside of some lost pride, weeks of sadness, and maybe $10 or $20, it's not going to affect the rest of your life a whole lot.

As much as it sucks when your fantasy football team fails, it would suck a whole lot more if you made the wrong moves in fantasy politics, and as a result, all of a sudden your taxes were doubled and you got drafted to go fight in some war.