More Thoughts

- HBO was showing Home Alone 2 in HD the other day, so of course I had to stop and watch it for a bit. Did you know that Donald Trump makes a cameo in that movie? Anyways, watching that movie got me in a Christmas-y mood. I know it's not even September yet, but I'm already itching to throw up that Christmas tree, put on some Mariah Carey, and go driving around the neighborhood admiring the lights.

- I can't believe R Kelly is still adding to his Trapped in the Closet song. I heard he's up to part 22 now. The last part I remember listening to was part 5, I think, and it was already getting pretty weird at that point. With midget strippers and stuff. I'm afraid to even wonder what he talks about in parts 6-22.

- Finally joined Facebook. I think it's pretty cool so far, but I can see how it could start eating up way too much time. Some names and faces I haven't seen in like 10 years, which is really weird. But as convenient as it is to connect with people online - through IM, email, Facebook/Myspace, etc. - it will never be a replacement for real life. I heard a quote the other day: "Friends are like balloons - once you let go of them, you can never get them back". It's sad, but true.

- My upcoming vacation to San Diego is still over a week away, but that doesn't mean I can't still look up the weather there and dream in advance. I've been checking the forecast for San Diego lately and it's pretty amazing - every single day is sunny, highs in the 80's and lows in the 60's. I think I've seen one day so far when it was listed as "partly cloudy".

I'm starting to wonder if once I get out there, I will fall in love with the place and never come back? Then you all will only be able to see me on Facebook. Suckas...

My Baptism

He's more than the laughter
or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat
or a song on our lips

Someday we'll trust Him
and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us
and we will come running
and fall in His arms
the tears will fall down
and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You,
I want to fall in love with You,
I want to fall in love with You,
I want to fall in love with You..."

- Jars of Clay

*****

I think I've already mentioned this to most friends that I regularly talk to, but thought I would post it here too, in case there's anyone I missed.

This coming Sunday (Sept. 2nd), I am getting baptized at my home church in Willowbrook. It is a day that means a lot to me, for a lot of reasons, and I really want to share it with everyone who can possibly make it there in person. It doesn't matter if you are not Christian, or if you don't fully understand why this baptism is so important to me.

Baptism is something that I have been thinking about for so many years - ever since I first became a "believer" in junior high - but I have held off from doing until now. Not because I didn't think it was important, but in fact the opposite - because it was such a big deal in my mind, I wanted to make sure I understood why I was doing it and not for the wrong reasons.

It has been a long road for me to get here, and as some of you know, I have gone through a lot of challenges and tough experiences during the past year or so especially. It hasn't been easy or fun, but I do feel like going through them, I've grown a lot as a person and finally reached a point where I really want and need to take this step, and have it be meaningful to me.

I will try to explain more about my feelings in my short testimony on Sunday, before getting myself soaked in the water. But one thing I will say here, is that I personally see this baptism as the most important moment of my life up to this point. It is one of those things that only takes place one time in your life, and I definitely care much more about having my friends and loved ones there for this, than I would for my graduation, any of my birthdays, etc., even for my wedding day. That is how much it means to me.

So, whether or not you fully understand why it's such a big deal in my mind, just please know and trust that it will honestly mean the world to me to have you there. I know I wouldn't be where I am, or be the person that I am today, without each and every one of the people who have touched my life in one way or another over the years - and it genuinely is my deepest wish to have you there to support me on that day, as well as to share in the precious moment.

If you can come, and haven't heard from me about this yet, please let me know (dudo509@yahoo.com) and I will forward you the details.

Little League

ESPN has been showing the Little League World Series lately, and with the Taiwan (Chinese Taipei) team having made it pretty deep, of course I got sucked in.

As I've mentioned many times before, I love baseball regardless. But there's definitely something more refreshing about watching these kids play the sport, compared to the major leagues. Obviously there's a gap in talent, but there's also no steroids either, at least I would hope. And something about watching those little rascals run around the field cracks me up, especially when they're chugging around wearing those huge helmets with 2 ear flaps.

More importantly, though, you can see how much the game means to the kids who are playing. Flashy plays are great and everything, but I think the excitement of sports comes more from the pure spirit of competition itself. It's a huge part of what's missing when I watch sports at the pro level, and even the college game these days.

What I appreciate most is that even though these kids care so much about winning and losing, they still show good sportsmanship (at least most of the time). When the Ohio team lost in a heartbreaker to the New England team, the tears came flowing and you could see how much it hurt. But they knew that win or lose, they did it all fair and square. Everyone shakes hands with the other team and means it when they say "good game".

In one game, I saw a kid almost get hit by a pitch, which actually bounced off the handle of the bat for a foul ball. At the pro or even high school/college level, the batter definitely would have pretended to be hit by that pitch and start running towards first. In this game, the coach came out to argue the call with the ump, but then they asked the kid whether it was a foul or hit, and he didn't even think to lie about it.

I mean, when we watch sports on TV, how often do you actually see something like that? It seems like there's a prevailing opinion in competition that "if you're not cheating, you're not trying". Even if it's not outright cheating like steroids or illegal payments in college recruiting, there's a lot of other garbage in sports that I wish we could rid ourselves of. Flopping in soccer or basketball to get fouls called. Taking questionable drops in golf. All of Peyton Manning's unnecessary theatrics before the snap in football, or his cheap little "hurry-up" play calls to force offsides.

Whatever happened to playing the game like a man? Win or lose, you hold your head up high, knowing that you played the right way. When I coach my own kids in Little League someday, I hope they compete exactly like these kids. Work hard and play to win, but always respect your opponent and respect the game. You may lose from time to time, and it's okay to cry when you do, but in the end you leave everything out on that field. Win like a champion but more importantly, lose like a champion too.

Oh well, enough of my corny spiel. Besides all of that, my favorite parts of the broadcasts is the profiles they show for each kid when they come up to bat. Some of the stuff I've seen so far is pretty amusing. The fat kid's favorite food is Chocolate. The little white kid's favorite song is "Bartender" by T-Pain. Every kid on Chinese Taipei lists his favorite subject as "Math" (credit that observation to Chras and Stork) and their favorite MLB player as Chien-Ming Wang.

A less predictable tidbit is that more than one of the Taipei kids liked Black-eyed Peas as their favorite band. Ugh. Also, some kid on the Massachusetts team listed Godfather as his favorite movie. Somehow that doesn't seem right.

Too bad I'm way too old for Little League now, but that doesn't mean I can't have my own profile...


Favorite food: Steak
Favorite TV show: Planet Earth
Favorite subject: Math
Favorite movie: Home Alone
Favorite song: "You Drive Me Crazy"
Favorite player: Ichiro Suzuki
Would Like to Meet: Jessica Alba

Packrat

One of my weird quirks is that I save almost everything, and rarely throw anything away. Not talking about perishables and stuff, of course. But anything that I might even remotely want to come back to someday, gets saved. Especially things of sentimental value, but really, it doesn't even have to be that meaningful to get kept by me.

For example, I still carry my X-Sport membership thing on my keychain, even though I hate that company. Not to mention I'm like 3 years or two different gym memberships removed from the last time I went to that place. My file cabinet is full of old bank statements, phone bills, cable bills, things that I can all look up online by now - but I just can't throw them away for some reason. I've got bookcases filled with old magazines - Sports Illustrated, PC World, EGM, ESPN the Magazine. I even save the monthly issues of "Experience Life" from my membership to Lifetime, and old copies of the Cracker Barrel from Schaumburg Township. They're just cluttering up my coffee table right now.

In my desk drawer, I've got a whole bunch of envelopes with old ticket stubs and receipts that have faded over time. They're barely even readable at this point. I've got all these expired credit cards, library cards, Britney Spears magnets sitting on my shelf.

I've got gizmos and gadgets a plenty. I've got who's-it's and what's-it's galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got 20. But who cares? No big deal, I want more... (Ok, maybe I crossed the line there, quoting Little Mermaid).

Anyways, I could go on and on. The point is, I definitely go overboard sometimes with keeping everything I have. Most of that stuff is just sitting there, collecting dust and taking up space in my house. I don't know why I can't ever just throw stuff out, or make use of the shredder I bought 2 years ago, just for that purpose.

But you know what? Lately I have been finding that every once in a while, saving everything does come back to pay unexpected dividends.

- In the corner of my closet, I rediscovered some old clothes that I forgot I still had but never wear. When I say old, I mean OLD, like from high school days (almost 10 years ago). Anyone remember Structure, the men's store that every guy my age shopped at during HS, before it got merged with Express later on?

Well some of those shirts still fit me, and I started busting out some of the old-school polos from back in the day. The 6-button ones may look stupid now (maybe they did back then too), but there's still a few that look okay. I guess it's true what I always say - it's not the shirt that matters, but the man behind the shirt that makes the difference. Haha.

Now if I can just find my old Chicago Bulls championship t-shirts... from the first 3-peat, not the second.

- Back in college, even though I wasn't that involved with the church at CFC, I still joined small groups every year and tried to participate somewhat. Since I wasn't that active, I don't have a ton of memories and remnants to show for being in those small groups. Maybe a few t-shirts, pictures, and that's about it. But one thing I found a few weeks ago was an old CD marked "ISR 6". It was a collection of praise songs that my small group (the 6th at the ISR dorm, see how that works?) put together for each other.

I barely remember even getting that CD in the first place, and at most I maybe listened to it once or twice in my Sony Discman (another throwback), before replacing it with the Bone Thugs N Harmony's E1999 album. Yeah, I was into the ghetto stuff back then. So anyways, I loaded up the ISR 6 songs onto my IPod and started listening to it in my car on the way to/from work the past couple weeks. And I have to say, hearing those songs has been one of the most blessing things I have experienced in a long time.

Everyone knows how much I love the cheesy pop/R&B, or the 90's alternative bands, or the 2Pac and Biggie era of rap. But I've been realizing that none of that music truly feeds my soul, the way these praise songs have impacted me and stayed in my heart over the years. As much as I still love Britney, Boyz II Men, and Bone Thugs, I couldn't say that any of their music carries nearly as much meaning to me in my life when I stop to think about it. Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with simple thoughtless music (see my essay on Britney Spears for more thoughts, 3/23/03 entry), but I do feel like our souls hunger for more than "junk food" sometimes. And listening to that ISR 6 CD really filled me up at a time when I needed it a lot.

- For those of you who went to college at U of I around the same time as I did, you'll probably remember a place called R&R's. Since the time I graduated, it has been replaced by a new bar, the Firehouse, but during my college years, R&R's was one of my favorite places to hang out. It was a pretty dumpy place, but the one thing it was known for was the Shark Bowl - a big bowl of mixed hard alcohol, fruity drinks, and ice. (Meant to be shared by a group of people at a table, but in practice, not always the case).

Anyways, each Shark Bowl had a little rubber toy shark in it (hence the name), and in those days, I collected quite a few of those sharks. A couple of them have actually been sitting in my bedroom next to the TV for years, I just never noticed them. But for no particular reason, those stupid toy sharks caught my eye the other day and got me thinking about all the fine (and not-so-fine) memories I've had at R&R's over the years. Scary to think that those days are long gone, but the one thing I have left to remind me, other than grainy pictures, are those sharks.

I wonder how long I'll be able to keep those sharks around, and how many more years will pass before I notice them again and reminiesce about the good times associated with them.

- Digging through some of my old emails, I was really amazed to find so much good stuff that people shared with me over the years. Friends who took the effort to send me notes of encouragement, when they knew I was going through struggles in my life. A lot of it was simple things like E-cards, forwards, links to articles or just simple soccer videos - I always loved those. But I also found some emails with really deep and heartfelt advice, that I didn't fully understand or appreciate until later on, as I was reading them in hindsight. I couldn't help but feel moved by the thought that people have been caring for me and praying for me and simply showing love to me, all along when I didn't even realize it. I'm not worthy.

*****

There's other examples I wanted to share, but I'm tired and need to go to bed. Nevertheless, writing this blog made me think - a lot of things pass us by in our everyday lives, without us giving a second thought to it. I can only wonder how many precious experiences I've overlooked throughout my life, that I didn't happen to save a remnant of. Are those lost forever?

I think sometimes, all it takes is for us to give ourselves a few moments to slow down. We need to more fully appreciate some parts of life that are unfortunately, too easy to just skate right by.

Shallow Thoughts

- I am the greatest spreadsheet creator of all time. All other spreadsheet makers must bow before me.

- Last week, I bowled over 200, and still lost. To someone who throws like a granny, sitting down. Ok, so it was Wii bowling, but still.

- I'm always a sucker for every new Real World season. I even wrote an application to MTV for them to cast me once (see here, 12/12/05 entry). There are many lessons I've learned from watching RW from over the years, but maybe the one that stands out the most is, there are a lot of people who are beautiful on the outside but quite ugly on the inside. So sad.

- Dish Network is pretty good, I recommend it. They have a really good HD channel lineup and they've been adding more, without jacking up the price.

- I could probably spend all day watching Food Network in HD. The people on there are so weird, but the food is so mesmerizing. Yesterday, I was watching some special on Vegas buffets. It almost made me cry.

- It seems like everyone and their mother and my sister has a Myspace or Facebook. All I have is a Friendster account somewhere, that I haven't touched in years. People have been telling me I should join Facebook, and it does sound kind of cool actually. But everyone on there has like 200 friends linked to them. If I create a page, I don't want to be the only one with a Facebook that only links to 3 friends.