Weatherman

I've never understood why weathermen actually have jobs. They don't really seem to do anything useful, other than spew a bunch of garbage about hot and cold fronts. The thing is, I would love weathermen if they could actually tell me what tomorrow's weather would be, but the reality is that they can't. If you asked one to tell you if it would rain tomorrow, they would never give you a straight up "yes" or "no", am I wrong? Instead, they would tell you there is a "40% chance of showers" which honestly doesn't do me any good cause it's pretty much the same as saying "maybe it will rain and maybe it won't." Well, you could've asked me if it will rain and I could tell you the exact same thing. Man, all you gotta do is train a parrot to say "chance of rain" and you've got a weatherman right there.

It just makes me mad because out of the few times I've watched the weather report on TV, the forecast has been wrong almost as much as it has been right. So imagine if you had planned an outdoor activity at Great America or something like that, then you saw the weather report for 90% chance of rain so you canceled it. Wouldn't you be extra pissed if it ended up not raining, having changed all your plans because some chump told you it was gonna pour? It doesn't have to be just about rain, either. I remember once I heard it would be 80-90 degree weather, then I went to a Sox game or something in shorts and a T-Shirt and ended up shivering for three hours. That's just flat out poor, and the last time I'll ever trust one of those so called weather forecasts. I might as well have called up Miss Cleo and asked her for tomorrow's forecast, plus she could tell me if my girlfriend was seeing someone else or turning lesbian.

All this "40% chance of rain" or "highs in the 90's, lows in the 70's" spiel is just designed to be as vague as possible in order to hide the fact that they don't really know all that much about what's gonna happen. If it's summer, I could tell you that it will be somewhere between the 70's and 90's and you don't have to watch the news. And any schmoe who learned about cumulus clouds in 5th grade could probably predict whether it might rain just as well as Tom Frickin Skilling. How I don't have a big ol' billboard in downtown Chicago?

The worst part is that whether or not their predictions turn out to be right or wrong, there's really no consequences for these fools. Nobody is actually gonna go hunt down the weatherman and give him a beatdown for incorrectly predicting rain, so how can they be held accountable? So basically, I think the job of the weatherman is to look like a nice, harmless guy, who people will just watch and listen to without caring whether or not he knows anything. For real, the trick is that nobody can stay mad at a old bald guy like Tom Skilling. He's almost like Santa, or at least something like everyone's favorite uncle or grandpa. If he happens to make a good forecast, then we're all happy for him. If he's dead wrong, well, we can all forgive good old Tom, can't we? Plus, within a day, all is long forgotten. And I bet when he goes out to clubs, all he has to do is walk in and all the ladies would automatically flock to him because he's Tom Skilling, baby.

During my second year of college, my roommate (Anuj) always loved to check www.weather.com every day to see how the day would be. He would be like, "it's so convenient, you should try it," but to me, looking up the weather on the Internet bordered on being one of the queerest things to do. All I'd do was open the window (of my room, not my computer), stick my hand outside for a second or two, and that would be my weather.com right there. Worked just as well, if not better. I don't need a website to tell me if it's hot or cold, if it's raining or clear. Jigga please.

So seriously, why do these "meteorologists" have jobs when Engineers from U of I don't? The whole weather industry is one big sham, if you ask me, kind of like Hallmark. It basically exists to give certain people a chance to go on TV or radio or the Internet and pretend like they know something. And so that someone will actually buy Doppler radars or whatever crap machines it is they use to give us those oh-so-valuable incorrect forecasts. Can I just ask why there is an entire cable channel devoted to weather? I can't imagine anyone other than the most pitiful losers in this world who would actually watch this channel during the day for more than a couple minutes at a time. If you find yourself enjoying the shows they broadcast on The Weather Channel (TWC, as the hip ones call it), it's time to get some help. But you know, if I was good looking enough to be on TV, I'd probably go be a weatherman. I would just spend all day watching sports, and when it was my time to give a report, just make up something about the condensation coming off the lakefront meeting El Nino's grandson and generating dry and rainy weather throughout the day ranging from 0 to 100 degrees in temperature.

Ok, maybe I am being too hard on these weather people. I tend to get bitter about little stuff like this, but to be honest, I pretty much never pay attention to the weather forecasts now because it just doesn't do me any good. I guess if other people get their kicks from listening to someone else tell them what might or might not happen in the following week, then go ahead and don't let me stop you from doing so. Just think about what I'm saying here, cause I'm telling you, these weather people might seem like super smart characters but if it weren't for their fancy graphics and terminology, they wouldn't seem all that great. Overrated, I say.

In The Name of Love... What More In The Name of Love?

So me and Olivia had a "date" yesterday. Is it just me, or does that sound very high school-ish? Do college graduates/med students call these "dates" anymore? Anyways, we had dinner and spent the evening aboard the Spirit of Chicago, one of those 3-level boats that cruises around the lake for a couple hours, giving you a chance to check out the skyline and stuff.

But what I was really gonna write about is the act of buying your girl flowers. I guess I am just more self-conscious, but it seems like every time I do something like this, I am conscious of being surrounded by all sorts of women, young, middle-aged, and elderly alike. Inevitably, the cashier, or the girl behind me in line will be like "awww... isn't that sweet, I wish my boyfriend/fiance/husband would do that" which you might think would make me feel good, but really doesn't make me feel all that great. I mean, I'm sure they are trying to be nice and stuff, but first of all, it makes me seem like I am some sort of super old-fashioned guy who is totally whipped. Also, I can't help but think I just screwed over a whole bunch of guys whose girlfriends/wives are gonna go home and complain like "how come you never do anything special for me" or something like that.

Just to clarify, I don't think of myself as being terribly whipped (not like anyone would think that of themselves) but maybe I am on the old-fashioned side. Not that I do a whole lot, like write songs or poems and serenade my lady, just the basic stuff that a lot of people overlook. I think it depends a lot on the girl. If she cares about stuff like that, maybe it makes her a little more "high-maintenance," but at the same time, I think it's probably worth doing it if the girl appreciates it. So it all depends on the individual girl. There's no point in giving your jacket or shirt to her when it's cold, if she doesn't care for that kind of thing. In that case you will be unnecessarily freezing yourself. Maybe you could consider yourself lucky to have found a girl who is manlier than you.

As for me, I personally think I need a girl who is at least kind of girly and needs me, otherwise I will probably feel inadequate. Not that I especially love buying flowers and that sort of thing, but when I do, it's nice to know that it does make her happy. Usually all it takes is a smile and "thank you" to make it worth that dumb feeling from being around all those other ladies at the time when I'm getting those flowers.

Oh yeah, about the whole flowers thing, I really know basically nothing about flowers. I normally just get roses but I decided to mix it up this time, feeling a bit spice-ay you might say. Anyways, I was just browsing and looking for whatever flowers looked nice and smelled kind of good (I try to look as inconspicuous as possible when smelling flowers in public... don't wanna look too gay, but that unfortunatley leads to less detailed smellage. Good thing I took a class on Sensory Evaluation so I can use such fancy terms, eh?). Other than roses, it's pretty much a random process for me in picking flowers... so I just grabbed the coolest looking bunch and took it to the lady. Turns out that this whole bouquet cost like "ah" (pronounced "ah" like in "crap") dollar. So what's the difference between a $1 bouquet and a $40 or $50 one? Honestly, I have no clue. I'm sure girls would know the difference, though, so I will trust that there is some reason people don't just all buy $1 flowers all the time. But if someone can give me a quick tutorial on what to look for in buying flowers, please hook me up with an explanation. Thanks.

Ok, since my blogs have been too long, I will resist the temptation to drag this subject further. Plus, I can't really think straight right now because I have a song in my head. If you like hip-hoppy stuff and haven't heard "Grindin" by Clipse f. N.O.R.E. f. Lil Wayne f. Baby (I don't know what exactly it is), download it and give it a listen. I don't know why, it seems like such a sucky song when you first hear it but it gets catchy after a while, and all I can say is that it is mad stuck in my brain at this moment.

Starting a Webpage

Sorry if the title was misleading, but this is actually about why I have not started a webpage yet, given all the time that I put into making a blog. A lot of people have asked me why I don't make one, and I tell them that I have tried to start one many times, but I just can't seem to follow through with it. I guess the main reason is that I don't have much of a purpose to do it. I mean, it's not like I own a business or lead an organization which would need any sort of website. That's the biggest factor.

Another big reason is the bad taste left in my mouth from high school years, when everyone and their momma built themselves a makeshift AOL page. All these lame sites really did was make me want to vomit. Basically, each page was exactly the same layout: get a cheesy background, include some clipped images from other sites, find a MIDI of the Backstreet Boys' "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," add a bunch of pictures with captions (usually full-size, scrolling vertically down the page), and there you have it. Links to all your friends' awful pages is a must as well. Be sure to also add a guestbook and harass visitors like crazy to sign it too. "Don't forget to sign my guestbook!!" is probably the most used sentence to end those pages. In extreme cases, I'll occasionally get a little pop-up box that tells me to "Please Sign The Guestbook! OK/CANCEL," and inevitably I'll always click CANCEL. I wish there was a "Get the #^($ out of my face button." It's all a lot like that girl from Can't Hardly Wait, "Sign my yearbook? Sign my yearbook?" except it annoys unsuspecting folk all over the internet and you can't shove her into a pool. So after seeing how terrible a personal page can become, I decided that I must tread very carefully should I ever try to make one myself.

Now, even people who have made pretty good personal webpages probably have found that it is hard to keep it up to date. And, if it's not regularly updated, people won't visit it after a while and your page will quickly lose its usefulness. The same could go for blogs, if you go months without updating, what's the point of having one? So basically, you spend a couple hours, days, weeks, or whatever it is, working to build a page which people will come, browse for a few minutes, and that's about it. This is why you need a good purpose to make a page.

There's plenty of good reasons to make one, I know. It's a good chance to learn and practice HTML, Dreamweaver, Flash, Java, or whatever it is. You can post your resume in the hopes that an employer will find it and like you, or post your picture in the hopes that a fine Asian hottie will stumble upon it and come chasing after your hot body across the country. It could be a good way to express yourself, your interests, etc. like cars, religion, or mullets. My point is, you gotta have some strong motivation to build a webpage, otherwise it will either turn out like half-assed crap or it will not get done at all. Personally, like I already said, I don't have much of a reason to make a page and I tend to prefer the not doing, rather the posting of of crap (this blog is an exception).

See, in this blog, I actually write more for my own benefit than for other people. I like the opportunity to clear my mind and write down all my scattered thoughts, which will hopefully be recorded for a long time such that I can come back in a few years and see what a freak I was back then. Honestly, even though it's definitely nice that people do read and respond to my blogs, I would probably still write in it if not a single person ever read it.

Before I wrap up yet another pointless, random entry, let me make a few more comments on good vs. bad personal webpages that might hopefully stem the tide of poorly made pages:

1. If your webpage has only one actual page, it is not a good webpage. I would hesitate to even consider it a real webpage. Every page should have a front page that at least links to some smaller sub-pages, instead of just lumping everything in random order onto one gigantic heap of confusion.

2. For pictures, using thumbnails is always a plus. There are fancy programs which will actually do this for you these days so there is almost no excuse not to use them. If you don't use thumbnails, try to organize it in some easy to view manner. At least if you have like 30 pictures, don't just pile all of them in full-screen size one below the next to form a crazy long string of images/captions, shrink them or something and put them so you can see 4 or 5 pictures within one window. I guess in this day of cable modem or whatever fast connection there is, it might not matter as much, but still.

3. Guestbooks are good - for guests. So it's pretty dumb to beg all your friends to sign your guestbook, who you probably see every day anyways. It's a nice place for people to leave comments if they randomly browsed onto your page and had some thoughts to share.

4. Almost any type of sound does not belong in your webpage. Especially MIDI's, they are extremely tacky and in many cases downright gay. Maybe in a few years, when computers and the Web as a whole are actually more multimedia and interactive, then sounds will be appropriate. For now, the only thing website sound does is annoy me like nothing else, make the site less professional, and at times scare the living crap out of me when I forget I have the volume turned up on my speakers.

I may think of more, but keep those tips in mind for now. Time for me to go again.

Recent Movie Reviews

I saw Signs the other day. (Don't read anymore if you haven't seen it). My friend brought up an interesting point - why would aliens invade our planet if they are hydrophobic? Earth is 70% covered by water, idiots. Aren't our bodies all like 70% water too? Also, is it just me, or is the idea that you can hear aliens communicating by radio (or baby monitors) kind of trite by now? You'd think they would use something far more advanced than RF, or at least a higher frequency than what an old baby monitor could pick up. These are guys with the capability of building those fancy spaceships to travel all over the universe, which seem to have some sort of cloaking device as well. Ok, I'm not seriously trying to be a nerd here, just trying to point out some legitimate concerns.

Other than that, it was an enjoyable movie. More as a funny movie than anything. The most hilarious part was at the kid's birthday party when the alien walked past the alley. Those aliens remind me of my grandpa, maybe it's just their hunched posture but still. Not that I have the best posture myself. My mom has always yelled at me for not sitting straight. That, and the fact that I refuse to wear sunblock or any type of lotion. I'd rather be burnt and have peeling skin, yo, wouldn't you?

Oh, back to Signs. How come they apparently own all these fields but nobody seems to take care of them? So the brother (Joe-ah-kwin Phoenix) works at a gas station right? But honestly, I don't think I saw a single tractor or barn or any farm equipment throughout the entire movie. Or is it customary that people just wander through others' fields in that town? And you know the guy (played by M. Night Shanana himself) that hit Mel Gibson's wife? How come he still peels out of parking lots and stuff? If I were him, I'd stop driving like a madman if I had killed someone already, you know what I mean?

I saw Austin Powers 3 as well, it was funny and not at all disappointing like I might have expected. Wise move to not give Beyonce too many lines, cause I was already getting annoyed at her saying "Shazzam" all the time. Anyways, if you liked the first 2 and haven't seen this one yet, for some freak reason, go see it, I highly recommend it. Plus, Britney has a small part in it too, which is a definite positive.

Probably one of the worst movies I've seen this summer was Mr. Deeds. I like Adam Sandler and all (Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison are 2 of my all-time favorite movies, period), but this movie sucked. There were funny parts, I'll admit, but overall, it just wasn't right. He's supposed to be more obnoxious, that's what we all love about him, isn't it?

I Am Sam reminded me how easily we all fall for a cute kid. Like Michelle in Full House, the kid (twins) from Big Daddy, Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense, etc. Especially girls, but everyone always likes to go "awww..." when a kid says or does something especially cute. Even me, I have a feeling that if I have a daughter someday, I will end up spoiling her. But yeah, this movie was pretty worth watching, not only cause of the little girl, it was a pretty good movie overall. Though I wonder, how does the retarded community feel about Sean Penn, a non-retarded man, playing the main part? I know for me, it's annoying when a white person plays an Asian on TV or in a movie, such as Mrs. Kwan in Mad TV for example. Not that being Asian is all that comparable to mental disability (quite the opposite in fact... muahah), but still. Is that politically correct? haha that reminds me of my favorite line from There's Something about Mary:

"Yeah, I work with retards..."
"Isn't that politically incorrect?"
"I don't care I love those goofy bastards!"

The best entertainment I've had lately wasn't from a movie, though. My dad dug up an old home video of me, my sister, and two of our best friends from 1994. I knew I was really short back then, but watching that reminded me of just how little I was, how my friend was like 6 inches taller than me. That, plus I had the token huge thick glasses and moppy hair. My voice was pretty high pitched then too. Keep in mind that I was already 14 years old by that time, it's a wonder I had any friends at all, let alone mack on any ladies.

Work is getting busy now, I better rage, yo.

More Thoughts on Music - Random Edition

If you are feeling too happy these days and need a downer, here is some sad news for you.

Britney's taking half a year off from doing new work. I wonder what she's gonna be doing? oh, I miss her already...

I remember when Nelly was just the guy with the "shimmy-shimmy cocoa pop" song (Country Grammar). Now he's all over the place. Even Justin Timberlake and N Sync want to work with him, it just doesn't get much cooler than Justin.... chance of a lifetime baby (giggle). But he's singlehandedly put St. Louis and their way of life on a national level. He's made it cool to say "herre" instead of "here," and kept most of us (or maybe it's just me) wondering what EI means. I just like him cause he raps about baseball or basketball (like the song "Batter Up" or "I play my position like a shortstop," or "I'm just Kidd-in' like Jason").

Why doesn't Chicago have any good R&B or hip-hop artists? NY's had so many stars, past and present, like Jay-Z, DMX, or Alicia Keys just to name a few in recent times. LA had Dre, 2Pac, etc. Atlanta's got TLC, Ludacris, Jermaine Dupri, Monica, Usher.... probably more I'm missing. All we got is R. Kelly, an accused pedophile whose only songs I really like are I Believe I Can Fly (played out by now) and Feelin On Your Booty Remix (played out in Apartment 312 at least). It's not like we're in Green Bay or something, Chicago used to have a really rich jazz/blues tradition, didn't it? Thank goodness that we at least had the Pumpkins in the world of alternative rock.

Maybe with the lack of talent in this area, I should start my own musical career. Probably not though, because I don't have much creative spirit in me. Then again, there is some utter crap I've heard on the radio over the years that shows you don't need to have much creativity in this business.

I think one of the reasons I love and appreciate music so much these days is that I personally suck so much at it. I remember when I was little, my mom made me take piano lessons and my sister take violin (that is another Chinese parent thing). I got ok after a few years, but not awesome. Especially considered to other Chinese friends and relatives I know. It's hard to be good at playing an instrument you don't enjoy, and it's hard to enjoy something that is forced upon you like a sledgehammer, in the form of hours of practice when the other kids are out on their slip'n'slides or playing ball outside. No, no bitterness here.

I don't have a good voice either. So, I guess that means I have lower standards for singers (a la Britney). Not everyone can have the incredible range of Chras like when he does O-Town's "All or Nothing." Showoff.

There is a song lyric for pretty much any situation, I've found. "It's gettin hot in herre" is only the latest example. Every time I tell someone to call me, it's hard not to think of Le Click's "Call me when you're down... call me when you need someone..." or if somebody asks me how I am, and I say "I'm doin' just fine", Boyz II Men pops in my head. I remember recently, someone said something like "I wish I was a little bit older," in which case it was mandatory that the whole verse would follow:

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six-four Impala - Skee Lo

Once, me and Piya (Mr. Smashing Pumpkins) were watching Scream 2 for some reason (don't ask), and Courtney Cox was trapped in the kitchen or something. Then she was like "Let me out!" and we almost simultaneously did the "Cherub Rock" version, *guitar* "let me ouuuut...." If you're not a Pumpkins fan, then I guess that story was pretty dumb.

Old school Snoop Dogg is pretty solid with the lyrics too. "So turn out the lights and close the door" ... "but for what? we don't love them hoes" or "Don't cry" ... "dry your eyes ... and here comes your mother with those 2 little guys" is what me and Olivia would always do.

I'm just waiting for the day when a half Japanese girl will diss me, so I can use one of my favorite Weezer lines, "G--damn you half-Japanese girls... do it to me every time" Pardon the edit, I try to keep the language in this blog as clean as possible so as not to offend any readers. Too late for that, perhaps, but I try.

I'm glad Dennis has started a blog. I'm telling you, it's not like I try to write long entries. In fact, I try my best to cut down. It's just that I am overflowing with thoughts and I don't want to deprive everyone of more of my fine self. tahaaa.... Anyways, everyone's blog that I read is pretty good. I enjoy checking them during the day when I'm not busy working or writing my own. Keep writing...