More on My Mom and Computers

I wrote about this before, but my mom is too funny when it comes to computers. She came running to my room earlier asking me for help, all stressed out and scared that she messed up the computer badly. It turns out that she couldn't figure out how to close one of those banner ads that look like a small warning/dialog box window. You know, the ones that say something like "Your Internet is not optimized for speed! Click OK to fix" and have a the minimize/restore/close buttons in the top right corner. So she must have spent like 10 minutes trying to close a banner ad that only looked like a window, before turning desperate and coming to me for help.

Then she was all freaked out because she opened a program, and then all of the programs disappeared on the taskbar. This time, it was because Windows XP starts a new row on the taskbar when you have too much stuff open, and adds a scroll button on the side. She didn't notice the scroll thing so she was all in panic thinking that she closed all my programs without saving or something. Ahhh... it's cute right now but maybe if she starts finding new ways to be dumb about computers every day, I will not be as amused.

Driving a Minivan

Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.

Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.

You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.

So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...

While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.

Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...

Students UIUC

Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.

So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.

But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.

Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.

It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.

Wedding

I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.

Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.

Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.

I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.

I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.

One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha

Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.

Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.

The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.

Post-Job Fair Thoughts

When I was watching TV last week in Champaign, I saw a commercial: "Is not having your high school diploma preventing you from getting the job you want?" Hmmm..... Well, something is preventing me from getting a job, but it's definitely not the lack of a high school diploma. I even got a college degree, for what it's worth. If you wanna see the diploma, it is probably somewhere underneath that giant pile of papers on my desk.

Anyways, as anybody who reads my blog regularly and carefully should know, I was down in Champaign this past week for the Engineering Career Expo (or whatever it's called), looking for some sort of engineering-related job. By the way, much thanks to BrotherD and his roommates for letting me crash at his apt. That was extra generous and I will hit you back for that Jack's Deluxe Frozen Pizza when I get the chance.

The expo was a little bit better than last year, as far as company attendance goes, but overall it was just about as pointless. There were fewer empty tables, but this is probably because this time around, companies already know they suck, and they were able to plan ahead with their suckiness in mind. Last year, the companies just kind of made plans to go to the fair, weeks or months before their financial situation took yet another unexpected dive. Then 9/11/01 came and threw more confusion into the mix. The result was many empty tables at the 2001 Expo and a extreme dearth of hiring.

This year, I was already somewhat mentally prepared for more of the same, with the economy still sputtering like it has been the past few years. I talked to some companies, handed out my share of resumes, and even got a little bit of free stuff too, just for kicks and giggles. But the overwhelming feeling that I got was that companies were still not serious about hiring. They were probably more just attending the fair for their company name, maybe taking a couple interns here and there, and keeping an eye out for that guy with a 4.0 GPA, president of the Engineering Council and College Republicans, interned with the CIA and the U.S. Navy, that studied abroad for two years while volunteering to help poverty-stricken sheep-shearers in Lithuania or something. By the way, that's not me. My GPA is more in the 3.3-3.4 range, I'm not president of anything important (unless you count the United States haha), and I absolutely despise those sheep-shearer lowlifes.

A couple companies seemed a little interested, but I'm not really holding my breath because you never really know what those company representatives are really thinking. I really wonder sometimes. Maybe someday I will be in the position as a hiring manager or something, that might be fun. First I would give all my friends jobs, then I would look for that 4.0 GPA sheep-lover student and tell him that we were looking for someone with more leadership qualities. I'd go to these fairs just for the free food, then be stingy with giving out the free flashing balls and hog them for myself. The most efficient idea would be to sit there at the table with a sign that says "visit InterviewTrak and look us up on www.google.com for more information," then point to it every time someone approaches your company booth.

Oh well, if I get any interviews soon, you will all know how it goes. Other than the fair, the week went ok. I was pretty sick for the first few days, so that wasn't too cool. I think I might have lost about 10 pounds again, sweet eh. But people might get a laugh out of the fact that I actually took some medicine this time. First, I tried a little bit of Triaminic. That didn't really do much as far as I could tell, but it tasted nice. Then I tried some Sudafed-type stuff to clear up sinus congestion, which I think might have been helpful. There were also some pretty cool lemony cough drops I had too. I kind of wish somebody had some 'tussin though. But yeah, before everyone starts judging me as some sort of hypocrite, just know that this was a special situation. I went down specifically to the job fair, so I couldn't really be lying in bed every day of the week until I got better. If you go back and read my PMS blog carefully, then you would see that I specifically said "... I do understand that in today's world, there are times when you can't afford to lose a couple days to illness and taking a Tylenol is worth it." Anyways, I only had a couple doses, not every 4 to 6 hours or whatever it was. And I recovered pretty quick too.

Also, I definitely stick to what I said about Kleenex and how it should not be so soft and pampering your nose when you are sick. I must have blown my nose about 900,000 times in the past week, with everything from toilet paper and napkins to paper towels (emphasis on "paper"). But I took it all like a man, and my skin didn't even peel one bit. I think I have conditioned that skin around my nose to be tough as sandpaper by now. Yeah, even the strongest paper towels tremble in fear to be blown by my nose, the king of them all.

As I write, my little stopwatch/alarm I got from Honda at the fair keeps going off periodically, and I threw away the instructions so I don't know how to turn it off. Stupid Honda, I never liked them anyways. They will not be receiving my customership nor employment anytime soon unless this silliness is rectified.

I still miss college life on campus, but it was cool just to experience it again for a few days. Any longer, and I would find myself living in the past like that guy in Can't Hardly Wait (what's his name again?). It's nice to finish your biznass in the early afternoon and be able to do whatever afterwards. I played some catch, chilled on the Quad and Union, even stopped by this special name-brand clothing discount thing at the Chancellor Hotel with Chras one day. Too bad it was mostly girls clothes and I don't like Structure/Express anymore. If I remember to, one of these days I might tell the story of why I stopped getting stuff from Structure way back in senior year of high school. Anyways, in no time I found myself back to the unhealthy eating and irregular sleep schedule of years past, as well as watching music videos all day and all 2,136 daily showings of SportCenter.

Green Street looks good, but it does not justify all the annoying construction we had to go through last year. Let me get this straight - they close off the busiest street on campus for a few months, make life miserable for drivers, pedestrians, and Green Street businesses, and spend a few million tax dollars for what? Sidewalks that are a little wider, but who cares? Walk/Don't Walk signs that count down the seconds left? A street that is more difficult than ever to drive through, that's for sure. I know what they could've done with the money, give some to me.

I can still login to the Union and EWS computers, which is nice. But I dread the day when I try to check my jychen UIUC email and it says "Account Invalid" or something, that will be a slap in the face. I never really used access to those labs like the school meant me to, though. All the free printing was either wasted entirely each semester, or used to print up fantasy baseball information. And most of the time I logged into EWS was to check my email or sports scores, not to do work in UNIX or use any of the programs like PSPICE or MATLAB. I'm such an awesome student.

I didn't get to visit Grainger like I wanted to, but I'll get my chance eventually. I haven't quite reached the point in my life yet when me and P can go back, haul some huge speakers into the big room on the 2nd floor, and blast Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls on Parade" at maximum volume. Someday, though, someday.

By the end of last semester, I was pretty tan from being outside all the time. But one summer's worth of being indoors all the time has pretty much all but negated that. I am once again just a pale skinny kid.

Ah, good old University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We had our good times and bad. I'll be back, don't worry.