My First Thanksgiving Blog
As everyone knows, it's time for Thanksgiving and the thing to do is to list what we are all thankful for. That's a great idea and all, but I have decided that my Bird-day blog will be a little different.
Of course, I am very thankful for my mom, dad, and sister for being the best family I have ever had. I am thankful for having a job I like, a house to live in, food on the table, and a car to drive. And it should go without saying that I am thankful for all of my friends for always being quality people and for staying cool with me throughout the years.
Now, with all that said, there are plenty of things that I don't feel all that thankful for. I'm not trying to be negative, but I was pouring myself some juice the other day when I noticed something. On the bottle label, there were big words advertising "Contains Real Fruit Juice!" That got me thinking, dang, our expectations are pretty low these days, if something like that is supposed to impress us.
You know, when I go to the store to buy myself some juice, is it too much to ask that it would actually contain "real juice"? Should I be thankful because the makers took the time and effort to stick some real fruit juice into a bottle of fruit juice? The way they brag about it on the label, that's how I feel.
Or, sometimes I will pick up a pack of gum or candy that says "Does not cause cancer" or "Does not promote tooth decay." Pretty sweet, eh? Gum, that doesn't cause cancer?! No way, sign me up for a few! Well actually, it's gonna take more than that to make me thankful. The way I see it, when I pay for a product, any product, the least I should be able to expect is that I don't get cancer from it, right? But it does make me think, how bad are those brands of gum that don't advertise their non-cancer-causing feature?
One thing that I've noticed we have really low expectations on these day is people. I remember leading up to the election a few weeks ago, I was seeing ads for Jim Ryan with the slogan "A candidate you can trust." Ok, it's good that we can trust a guy to be our governor. But basically, that means that the best reason we as voters had to choose Jim Ryan was because he was not corrupt. Not because of any great things he has accomplished, or things he can do for the state, but because he has never taken bribes or laundered money (at least never been caught). That's the best thing his campaigners could come up with?
It's worse for athletes and entertainers too. People seem so impressed when a college basketball player plays 4 years at a school and gets a degree. Yes, graduating college is a respectable accomplishment, but it doesn't make them some godly human beings, you know? Especially when these guys have special people assigned to tutor them, people to "talk" to their professors about their grades, and when most of them have bogus majors like Plant Psychology to begin with.
Then there's pro athletes. You know how at construction sites they have those signs that count "[x] days without an accident"? I feel like they should have those for some of these guys. Like "[x] days without being caught with weed" or "[x] days without being arrested for beating my wife." Yeah, I bet the Portland Trailblazers could use a bunch of those signs.
Then every time they feature someone like Peyton Manning (who doesn't beat his wife), they always gotta ramble on about "how hard he works" and how much time he spends preparing for the game. Well, if I was somehow blessed with talent to play in the NFL, you better believe I would work hard. At the very least, I would show up to practice on time and listen to my coaches. So what if a pro football player works hard? It's his freakin job, everybody is supposed to work hard at their job.
Not to mention it's a job that pays millions so he can ride around in his pimped out Escalade and drink bottles of Cristal (instead of Capri-Suns like me). What about my dad, who I remember he used to wake up at 4am every day to take the train to work in the city, not get home till late at night, juts so he could support a family on a salary that would be a tiny fraction of what Randy Moss makes? Why don't they do a TV special on him?
Seriously though, just watch the news or commercials and pay attention to the world around you. Then tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. We are surrounded by lowered expectations. I'm just waiting for them to come out with ads for shampoo bragging about how it "doesn't make your hair fall out," or for baby food that doesn't choke your kids. Or maybe the day will come when I see awards being given to Ray Lewis for "not stabbing anyone in a while" or Eminem because he "loves his daughter."
But I guess after I wrote all that, it does bring me back to being extra thankful for what I do have. Great parents, a great sister, great friends and most of all, my blog readers who read through all of my garbage. Happy Thanksgiving everyone...
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Bathroom Etiquette
Today in the bathroom at work I was washing my hands when a guy walked in with a magazine. I thought he was gonna go to a stall and read it while going #2, but no, he went to a urinal and and started peeing, while continuing to read his magazine. Personally, I have never ever seen anything like that. The idea of a guy standing up with a magazine one hand and his pee-pee in the other and urinating away is both funny and disturbing at the same time.
If I was more of a jackass, I should have just turned around and paid attention to whether he put down his magazine or even looked away from his reading to make sure he avoided that deadly "Something About Mary" zipper disaster. But, being the discrete individual I am, I settled for surreptitious glances using the mirror while pretending to give my hands an extra rinse.
Men's bathrooms are a sensitive area, there are many Dos and Don'ts when you are in such a place. Actually, there are many more don'ts that I can think of. As long as you make sure to flush, and shut the door when you take a dump, that pretty much will cover the Dos. The Don'ts are a little trickier.
For example, you never, ever start a conversation with a stranger in the bathroom. Even if it is your best friend, it would be questionable. There is just something inherently weird about talking to the guy next to you out of the blue while you both are peeing. Maybe even a little gay, but it doesn't matter if you are talking about Prada shoes and the latest episode of Will & Grace, or if you are discussing hunting rifles and Monday Night Football, all such banter is unacceptable. The golden rule of inter-urinal conversation is: let the guy next to you pee in peace, just as you would want him to let you pee in peace.
In most cases, this rule is much less stringent for the handwashing or paper-towel-retrieving portion of your bathroom visit. Still, be careful not to venture too far beyond a nod of acknowledgement and a neutral "what's up" and only when eye contact is made.
Choosing a urinal is also a touchy issue. It is never acceptable to take a spot when the one next to it is already being used, if there are other options available. You gotta give people their space or else they will feel threatened. When you walk into the bathroom, the initial scan is critical. You must quickly note the quantity and location of the urinals and stalls, as well as the setup and features of the particular bathroom. Doing so allows you to act accordingly and avoid bathroom faux pas.
When you hear someone accidentally rip one while peeing, or is experiencing a particularly messy #2, resist all urges to laugh out loud. It could turn out to be some huge guy that will take exception to your reaction and bash your face in. Even if it isn't, just be considerate and put yourself in his place; how would you feel in that situation? Now if you absolutely must, snicker quietly to yourself, but the best solution is to hold your childish glee and tell your friends about the moment later.
If you are sitting in a stall doing your thing and someone takes the one next to you, do NOT try to look at the guy's shoes and pants to figure out who it is. There is a good chance that he might be doing the same thing. Won't you both look stupid if you end up seeing each other at that point? Anyways, just mind your own business. Finish your duty and get on out of that place, who cares about who is sitting in the stall next to you.
Speaking of which, determining when to get out of the stall is another important situation which you have to handle correctly. When there are not very many other people in the bathroom with you, it is fairly quiet and the potential for awkwardness is at a maximum. One of the last things you wanna do is to flush at the same time as someone else and get out of your stall in sync with another guy doing the same. The awkwardness is multiplied when you gotta use the sink or the hand dryer at the same time as someone else. It's much better when someone clearly deserves the sink before or after you, and everything else follows in a logical fashion.
To avoid this strategic blunder, I recommend that you "finish up" as loudly as possible. While you try to muffle the sound of taking a dump itself, you do the opposite when it comes to tearing the toilet paper, buckling your belt, etc. This way, other people will hopefully respect the fact that you are claiming the right to flush and exit into the open area. It's kind of like signaling when you merge onto the highway, a simple act can save so much confusion or trouble.
Some people fail to recognize this act, but they are mostly ignorant. This is why you have to be vigilant yourself in paying attention to bathroom noises. The toilet-paper-tear is a dead giveaway, however, don't overlook the subtler sounds which can mean the same thing. If there is any doubt, just sit on that toilet a while longer to make sure.
Making a little noise while in a stall is a good act of courtesy in general. A lot of people don't follow my simple rule of scanning the bathroom as the first thing when entering a bathroom. Yet, it is important that they know someone is in there with them, albeit hidden in one of the back stalls. If not, they might be a little careless with letting loud farts rip or start humming a Justin Timberlake song. The result would be an embarrasing moment when he finds out that he was not alone in the room as you flush and leave your stall to see him checking himself out in the mirror. So, within the first 5 seconds of someone coming into the bathroom, you have to make some sound to let him know you're there. Any little grunt, throat-clearing, or foot shuffling will do, as long as you do it before he does something dumb. Like I said, make your noise within the first 5 seconds and you should be ok.
There are other lesser known rules, but these are the most important. I didn't make them up either, ask most socially-conscious guys and they will tell you the same kind of stuff. But a lot of people surprisingly fail to realize the fact that the bathroom is one of the few sensitive places for guys. It's the last place you want to get careless in. Think about it, for many animals, males pee to mark their territory. It's a very personal act. You don't have to be scared to go to the bathroom, all I'm saying is, be respectful and smart when you're there.
Today in the bathroom at work I was washing my hands when a guy walked in with a magazine. I thought he was gonna go to a stall and read it while going #2, but no, he went to a urinal and and started peeing, while continuing to read his magazine. Personally, I have never ever seen anything like that. The idea of a guy standing up with a magazine one hand and his pee-pee in the other and urinating away is both funny and disturbing at the same time.
If I was more of a jackass, I should have just turned around and paid attention to whether he put down his magazine or even looked away from his reading to make sure he avoided that deadly "Something About Mary" zipper disaster. But, being the discrete individual I am, I settled for surreptitious glances using the mirror while pretending to give my hands an extra rinse.
Men's bathrooms are a sensitive area, there are many Dos and Don'ts when you are in such a place. Actually, there are many more don'ts that I can think of. As long as you make sure to flush, and shut the door when you take a dump, that pretty much will cover the Dos. The Don'ts are a little trickier.
For example, you never, ever start a conversation with a stranger in the bathroom. Even if it is your best friend, it would be questionable. There is just something inherently weird about talking to the guy next to you out of the blue while you both are peeing. Maybe even a little gay, but it doesn't matter if you are talking about Prada shoes and the latest episode of Will & Grace, or if you are discussing hunting rifles and Monday Night Football, all such banter is unacceptable. The golden rule of inter-urinal conversation is: let the guy next to you pee in peace, just as you would want him to let you pee in peace.
In most cases, this rule is much less stringent for the handwashing or paper-towel-retrieving portion of your bathroom visit. Still, be careful not to venture too far beyond a nod of acknowledgement and a neutral "what's up" and only when eye contact is made.
Choosing a urinal is also a touchy issue. It is never acceptable to take a spot when the one next to it is already being used, if there are other options available. You gotta give people their space or else they will feel threatened. When you walk into the bathroom, the initial scan is critical. You must quickly note the quantity and location of the urinals and stalls, as well as the setup and features of the particular bathroom. Doing so allows you to act accordingly and avoid bathroom faux pas.
When you hear someone accidentally rip one while peeing, or is experiencing a particularly messy #2, resist all urges to laugh out loud. It could turn out to be some huge guy that will take exception to your reaction and bash your face in. Even if it isn't, just be considerate and put yourself in his place; how would you feel in that situation? Now if you absolutely must, snicker quietly to yourself, but the best solution is to hold your childish glee and tell your friends about the moment later.
If you are sitting in a stall doing your thing and someone takes the one next to you, do NOT try to look at the guy's shoes and pants to figure out who it is. There is a good chance that he might be doing the same thing. Won't you both look stupid if you end up seeing each other at that point? Anyways, just mind your own business. Finish your duty and get on out of that place, who cares about who is sitting in the stall next to you.
Speaking of which, determining when to get out of the stall is another important situation which you have to handle correctly. When there are not very many other people in the bathroom with you, it is fairly quiet and the potential for awkwardness is at a maximum. One of the last things you wanna do is to flush at the same time as someone else and get out of your stall in sync with another guy doing the same. The awkwardness is multiplied when you gotta use the sink or the hand dryer at the same time as someone else. It's much better when someone clearly deserves the sink before or after you, and everything else follows in a logical fashion.
To avoid this strategic blunder, I recommend that you "finish up" as loudly as possible. While you try to muffle the sound of taking a dump itself, you do the opposite when it comes to tearing the toilet paper, buckling your belt, etc. This way, other people will hopefully respect the fact that you are claiming the right to flush and exit into the open area. It's kind of like signaling when you merge onto the highway, a simple act can save so much confusion or trouble.
Some people fail to recognize this act, but they are mostly ignorant. This is why you have to be vigilant yourself in paying attention to bathroom noises. The toilet-paper-tear is a dead giveaway, however, don't overlook the subtler sounds which can mean the same thing. If there is any doubt, just sit on that toilet a while longer to make sure.
Making a little noise while in a stall is a good act of courtesy in general. A lot of people don't follow my simple rule of scanning the bathroom as the first thing when entering a bathroom. Yet, it is important that they know someone is in there with them, albeit hidden in one of the back stalls. If not, they might be a little careless with letting loud farts rip or start humming a Justin Timberlake song. The result would be an embarrasing moment when he finds out that he was not alone in the room as you flush and leave your stall to see him checking himself out in the mirror. So, within the first 5 seconds of someone coming into the bathroom, you have to make some sound to let him know you're there. Any little grunt, throat-clearing, or foot shuffling will do, as long as you do it before he does something dumb. Like I said, make your noise within the first 5 seconds and you should be ok.
There are other lesser known rules, but these are the most important. I didn't make them up either, ask most socially-conscious guys and they will tell you the same kind of stuff. But a lot of people surprisingly fail to realize the fact that the bathroom is one of the few sensitive places for guys. It's the last place you want to get careless in. Think about it, for many animals, males pee to mark their territory. It's a very personal act. You don't have to be scared to go to the bathroom, all I'm saying is, be respectful and smart when you're there.
Sunday, November 24, 2002
Getting Jacked In The Eye
Getting jacked in the eye is not fun. Not only does it hurt like hell when it happens, you end up on the ground squirming like a girl looking like a weenie. Then you try to get up and the world is spinning. Kind of like those relay race things when they make you run around a baseball bat for 10 turns while looking at the ground, then you gotta run across the field, except in this case your face is throbbing.
So yeah, I got jacked in the face yesterday trying to make a tackle in our pickup football game, and no, it wasn't fun. I thought I was ok, so I drove home, but then my head was spinning and I started shaking uncontrollably when I got home so I had to lay down. I couldn't do that for long, because I had to get up to go to dinner with my family and Olivia's family and another family.
At dinner, I kept feeling like I had to throw up or pass out, but I somehow stayed upright throughout the evening. I don't really understand why getting nailed in the eye or ocular (starcraft word) region causes headaches and nausea but word is that I was experiencing vagal pains. At least that is supposedly what Grace the optometry student theorizes. I thought only girls could have vagal pains, but I think a lot of things that are incorrect.
My dad thought I might have a mild concussion, which would have been not good. But since I went to sleep and woke up ok, I guess it wasn't a concussion. Still, I was still too weak to make it to the Bears game today, which totally sucks cause I was looking forward to that for weeks. They finally freaking won a game, and I was stuck watching it at home on TV.
Now I am feeling almost back to normal, except my eye is still swollen and sore, so I gotta wear glasses. I have a black eye too, so it looks like I got a beatdown. If anyone asks, I am just gonna say "you should see how bad the other guy looks." When in reality, the "other guy" managed to shake off the powerful blow of my eye to his hip bone and continued to play football. Sheeeeezy....
Oh yeah, visit http://asksnoop.com. If you just use it to Shizzolate CNN.com or Yahoo!, it's pretty funny. I tried it on my blog and it was hilarious too. Loads of fun for all.
Getting jacked in the eye is not fun. Not only does it hurt like hell when it happens, you end up on the ground squirming like a girl looking like a weenie. Then you try to get up and the world is spinning. Kind of like those relay race things when they make you run around a baseball bat for 10 turns while looking at the ground, then you gotta run across the field, except in this case your face is throbbing.
So yeah, I got jacked in the face yesterday trying to make a tackle in our pickup football game, and no, it wasn't fun. I thought I was ok, so I drove home, but then my head was spinning and I started shaking uncontrollably when I got home so I had to lay down. I couldn't do that for long, because I had to get up to go to dinner with my family and Olivia's family and another family.
At dinner, I kept feeling like I had to throw up or pass out, but I somehow stayed upright throughout the evening. I don't really understand why getting nailed in the eye or ocular (starcraft word) region causes headaches and nausea but word is that I was experiencing vagal pains. At least that is supposedly what Grace the optometry student theorizes. I thought only girls could have vagal pains, but I think a lot of things that are incorrect.
My dad thought I might have a mild concussion, which would have been not good. But since I went to sleep and woke up ok, I guess it wasn't a concussion. Still, I was still too weak to make it to the Bears game today, which totally sucks cause I was looking forward to that for weeks. They finally freaking won a game, and I was stuck watching it at home on TV.
Now I am feeling almost back to normal, except my eye is still swollen and sore, so I gotta wear glasses. I have a black eye too, so it looks like I got a beatdown. If anyone asks, I am just gonna say "you should see how bad the other guy looks." When in reality, the "other guy" managed to shake off the powerful blow of my eye to his hip bone and continued to play football. Sheeeeezy....
Oh yeah, visit http://asksnoop.com. If you just use it to Shizzolate CNN.com or Yahoo!, it's pretty funny. I tried it on my blog and it was hilarious too. Loads of fun for all.
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Songs
My current playlist:
Britney Spears - Lucky
Coldplay - In My Place
Coldplay - Clocks
Coldplay - The Scientist
Eminem - 8 Mile Road
Eminem - Superman
Five for Fighting - Superman
LL Cool J - Big Mama
Ms. Jade f. Nelly Furtado & Timbaland - Ching Ching
Nelly - Air Force Ones
Puddle of Mudd - Drift and Die
Radiohead - Creep
Radiohead - Lucky
Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide
Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect
Stone Temple Pilots - Creep
Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairy Tale
TLC - Creep
Once in a while, I like to do weird things like put songs on my playlist only because their titles match.
That Nelly song is hilarious. I wish I had friends who talked like that in real life.
My current playlist:
Britney Spears - Lucky
Coldplay - In My Place
Coldplay - Clocks
Coldplay - The Scientist
Eminem - 8 Mile Road
Eminem - Superman
Five for Fighting - Superman
LL Cool J - Big Mama
Ms. Jade f. Nelly Furtado & Timbaland - Ching Ching
Nelly - Air Force Ones
Puddle of Mudd - Drift and Die
Radiohead - Creep
Radiohead - Lucky
Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide
Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect
Stone Temple Pilots - Creep
Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairy Tale
TLC - Creep
Once in a while, I like to do weird things like put songs on my playlist only because their titles match.
That Nelly song is hilarious. I wish I had friends who talked like that in real life.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Things That Piss Me Off
Here is a list of things that piss me off. Kind of like pet peeves, but not exactly.
- Those older cars with turn signals that blink way too fast. It makes me want to electrically engineer a sort of delayer circuit and go install it. Like a clock doubler, maybe. All it takes is a couple J-K flip-flops, I think.
- Tiny font on other people's blogs drives me nuts. Especially on a dark background when the font is kind of dark too. Good thing none of the blogs I regularly read are like that.
- When I see finger marks on the trunk of a nice car. I'm not talking about finger prints, I'm talking about those long streaks where the dust has been rubbed off and it looks like half a handprint on your trunk. Caused by the way people close their trunks. Don't close your trunk that way, fools.
- Those stupid quizzes you take to find out which Carebear, Star Wars character, or color of the rainbow you are. Then I see them on every person's blog/xanga. Seriously, I saw one girl's page was almost completely made up of entries that were cut and pasted from those quiz things. I mean, one or two, maybe, even I might do the Star Wars one if I'm bored some day, but this is out of control.
- Trucks on the highway that have pieces of dirt or rocks flying off and hitting my car. Every time this happens, I wanna start my own gang of green-Civic driving punks and hijack these truck drivers for causing all the chips on my hood or small cracks on my windshield. Seriously, there needs to be a law that says trucks need to keep themselves clean and not have crap flying off hitting other cars. It's just plain inconsiderate.
- Lane whores. You know what I'm talking about, that stupid driver during rush hour that switches lanes every 2 seconds, thinking that he or she is gonna save major time this way. I always love when some idiot cuts me off and is zigzagging away, then I see him 30 minutes later getting off the same exit and stopped next to me at the stoplight. Way to go, bud.
- The Bachelor. That show is so bad, so so bad. First of all, the guy is a major tool. It is painful just to listen to him talk. And here are all these girls who want him just because he is inheriting a banking empire from his parents. If the Victoria's Secret fashion show is trash for guys, this is trash for girls. They're the same thing. One is showing guys unrealistic and impossible things that they want but can't have - hot girls wearing almost no clothes struttin their stuff. The other is what girls want but can't have - a really really rich guy, fantasy dates where they get to do stuff no ordinary guy could provide, a fairy tale proposal set upon a backdrop of a huge garden by the lake where no ordinary guy could take them, and one of the biggest rocks I have ever seen in my life put on an engagement ring. All said, it's a good thing he chose Helene, Miss I-like-to-talk-when-I-kiss, cause Brooke was a wack-job. But they still aren't gonna last more than 6 months, I'll tell you that much from just watching the last 20 minutes of the last episode.
- Fantasy football. Yes, I am still bitter because I lost once again to Dave. But for some reason I never, ever, ever have a good team. I might as well just write a yearly check for $10 to Piya or Friedman and save myself the agony of a 17 week season.
- Bears football. It's sad when the only positive stat they can show about your whole team is on the kicker. And if John Shoop calls one more of those short little screen passes that never works, I am gonna flip. Visit this site Chras sent me: Fire John Shoop it's pretty funny. I am impressed at how dedicated some Bears fans are. Also check this picture:
Credit for that one goes to the Goods.
Here is a list of things that piss me off. Kind of like pet peeves, but not exactly.
- Those older cars with turn signals that blink way too fast. It makes me want to electrically engineer a sort of delayer circuit and go install it. Like a clock doubler, maybe. All it takes is a couple J-K flip-flops, I think.
- Tiny font on other people's blogs drives me nuts. Especially on a dark background when the font is kind of dark too. Good thing none of the blogs I regularly read are like that.
- When I see finger marks on the trunk of a nice car. I'm not talking about finger prints, I'm talking about those long streaks where the dust has been rubbed off and it looks like half a handprint on your trunk. Caused by the way people close their trunks. Don't close your trunk that way, fools.
- Those stupid quizzes you take to find out which Carebear, Star Wars character, or color of the rainbow you are. Then I see them on every person's blog/xanga. Seriously, I saw one girl's page was almost completely made up of entries that were cut and pasted from those quiz things. I mean, one or two, maybe, even I might do the Star Wars one if I'm bored some day, but this is out of control.
- Trucks on the highway that have pieces of dirt or rocks flying off and hitting my car. Every time this happens, I wanna start my own gang of green-Civic driving punks and hijack these truck drivers for causing all the chips on my hood or small cracks on my windshield. Seriously, there needs to be a law that says trucks need to keep themselves clean and not have crap flying off hitting other cars. It's just plain inconsiderate.
- Lane whores. You know what I'm talking about, that stupid driver during rush hour that switches lanes every 2 seconds, thinking that he or she is gonna save major time this way. I always love when some idiot cuts me off and is zigzagging away, then I see him 30 minutes later getting off the same exit and stopped next to me at the stoplight. Way to go, bud.
- The Bachelor. That show is so bad, so so bad. First of all, the guy is a major tool. It is painful just to listen to him talk. And here are all these girls who want him just because he is inheriting a banking empire from his parents. If the Victoria's Secret fashion show is trash for guys, this is trash for girls. They're the same thing. One is showing guys unrealistic and impossible things that they want but can't have - hot girls wearing almost no clothes struttin their stuff. The other is what girls want but can't have - a really really rich guy, fantasy dates where they get to do stuff no ordinary guy could provide, a fairy tale proposal set upon a backdrop of a huge garden by the lake where no ordinary guy could take them, and one of the biggest rocks I have ever seen in my life put on an engagement ring. All said, it's a good thing he chose Helene, Miss I-like-to-talk-when-I-kiss, cause Brooke was a wack-job. But they still aren't gonna last more than 6 months, I'll tell you that much from just watching the last 20 minutes of the last episode.
- Fantasy football. Yes, I am still bitter because I lost once again to Dave. But for some reason I never, ever, ever have a good team. I might as well just write a yearly check for $10 to Piya or Friedman and save myself the agony of a 17 week season.
- Bears football. It's sad when the only positive stat they can show about your whole team is on the kicker. And if John Shoop calls one more of those short little screen passes that never works, I am gonna flip. Visit this site Chras sent me: Fire John Shoop it's pretty funny. I am impressed at how dedicated some Bears fans are. Also check this picture:
Credit for that one goes to the Goods.
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