What I Learned On My Weekend

- Superbowl Squares is one of the stupidest ideas ever. All it brought me was a night of misery: hoping for safeties, missed extra points, and 4th quarter field goals in a blowout. It's all Anuj's fault.

- There's plenty of fun to be had with digital cameras. Too much, in fact

- Kettle popcorn sucks

- Tombstone thin-crust pizza sucks. Haven't had the normal ones yet.

- Dave Chan + 151 = Bad news for me

- Britney cheated on Justin with Wade. How could she do such a thing? By the way: I'm just wondering, if a girl is dating someone like Justin Timberlake, would she still get pissy if he didn't call her often enough or plan special things to do on dates? Or would his hotness override all of that? Just a question to think about...

- Flaming Hot Cheetos and Sprite are good for satisfying cravings when it's that time of the month.

- Cosmo is a woman's Bible

- I learned that I really have no business being involved in "girls talk" in any way... it just doesn't work too well, I guess I lack the female instinct

- I am lucky enough to have some of the best friends in the world, and to have the best girlfriend ever too. Even though a lot of the people I'm talking about don't read this blog, I still had to write it down somewhere.

- Yep, still lactose intolerant. dammit

23

Thanks to everyone who happened to remember my birthday. I appreciate the phone calls, emails, e-cards, blog comments, blog entries, etc... If you didn't know it was my birthday, it's aight. I don't really talk about it much because I don't really celebrate my birthday. So I don't expect other people to celebrate my birthday, it's just a bonus when they do.

Me and Olivia went to Todai for dinner, which is a big Japanese seafood buffet place in Woodfield if you haven't heard of it. I highly recommend it to anybody who likes sushi, shrimp, crab, and oranges, especially make sure you go on your birthday cause they give you a coupon for a free lunch/dinner. The sushi is not bad, for a buffet, but the snow crab legs are simply to-dai for. Haha I was thinking of that joke all day at work, and when I finally busted it out at dinner, Olivia just gave me one of those "you are such a loser" looks.

Then we watched Just Married, which was pretty entertaining. Although it was cheesy at times, and I'm not a big fan of Brittany Murphy. But since Ashton Kutcher's performance in "Dude, Where's My Car?" was so inspiring, I decided to watch this movie. And now, I am eagerly anticipating "Seriously Dude, Where's My Car", which is gonna be the sequel. Seriously dude, that's the title.

You might all be wondering what Olivia got me for my birthday. Well, it was a 2 parter. First was the DVD for Crossroads (Britney Spears' movie). This was a very touching gift, because I know she had to swallow a lot of pride and personal distaste for Britney in order to make me happy. Definitely a good gift. The other thing was a picture frame, which folds out, and she put a picture of her on the left, a picture of me on the right. I would scan them and show them here, but these are pics of when we were like 4 or 5 years old and they are somewhat embarrassing.

I think tomorrow I am gonna go shopping at Best Buy and get myself a birthday present. There's a Sony flat-panel monitor that is attracting me, but I don't know if I will pull the trigger on that one. Maybe I will settle for getting myself a CD. Or maybe I will buy a flat-panel TV. Depends on how spendy I'm feeling. Last month my credit card bill reached a new high, so I should probably be careful. Oh well, we'll see.

R Kelly

I've always been a fan of R Kelly, he's got some pretty solid songs, plus he's from Chicago. He even wore a Sox hat in the Fiesta remix video, I think, another reason to be a fan.

So even when all the child porn accusations were coming out earlier this year, I tried to avoid judging him (see this written way back in June). And even though he got arrested this week for that stuff, the Ignition Remix is still being played the most on my mp3 player.

But one thing that has changed is that now I feel kind of uncomfortable listening to his songs. Like, I gotta wonder who's he singing this to, some 13 year old girl who has braces and a Pokemon lunchbox? That would really tone down my enthusiasm for his music, when you think about it like that.

It's kind of like listening to Erasure these days, after finding out that they are gay. Sure, they make good music, some of the best love songs ever made. But who were they written for? When he goes "touch me satisfy me, warm your body next to mine", I'd rather not be picturing a man. So I still listen to Erasure, I just have to block out homosexual thoughts.

Now when I listen to "Down Low" or "Bump N Grind", I have to block out thoughts of underage girls. It's pretty sick, you know, some of the kids I teach in Sunday School are like 11 or 12, not that much younger than 13 or 14. Even girls that are 18 or 19, legal, I would feel weird about being attracted to them.

And R Kelly is like 10-15 years older than me, what's the matter with him? Not to mention he could easily get plenty of 20-something girls with his status. I just don't get it.

Randomness

On the way to work today, I was driving behind a car with the following bumper sticker: "Horn Not Working - Watch For Finger". Which I've seen before, but this one was next to a fish symbol with "WWJD" written inside it. For those who don't know, the Fish on the back of a car represents Christianity, and WWJD stands for "What Would Jesus Do?" I guess Jesus would flip you the bird if his horn was broken.

I used to think birds were cool, but now I hate them. You'd think that since they're advanced enough fly, smart enough to fly in formations and build nests, that they would be way past the "spraying-their-crap-wherever" link in the stage of evolution. That's so unbelievably inconsiderate, I mean, do I go into your nest and take a dump on your eggs and stuff? No, so how about you foos stop dropping your nastiness on my car. It even eats through the clear coat, what's up with that.

There's one of these public awareness signs at work that says "Beware the Social Engineers!" and lists the suspicious characteristics to watch out for, like "outwardly friendly", "appear harmless" or "social conversationalists". It's actually a warning telling people not to talk about their project details with everyone, because there could be spies you don't know about who "appear harmless" as an average engineer. I just thought it was funny that there's a sign telling us to be wary of "outwardly friendly" and "social" engineers. It's true in general, if you think about it. Not many engineers are like me, the life of every party I walk into.

You know, if some ping pong balls had bounced differently in the NBA Lottery last year, we might have been looking at Yao Ming playing for the Bulls. That would've been awesome.

I think second-hand smoke is one of the worst things imaginable. Not only the "increased odds of lung cancer" thing, but basically, you get to smell and feel nasty without ever enjoying the nicotine high yourself.

Some guy just stopped by my house and when I answered the door, he was like "Is your mom or dad home?" What, do I look like a 12 year old? You need to talk to my mommy and daddy? Anyways, he was talking about wheelchair basketball or something so I was still polite.

Post Zwan Blog

After a long day of work, it was my turn to go with Master P to the ZWAN show at the Metro. The show was good, especially with Paz. I'm a fan now. She reminds me of Trashelle from Real World. I'm tired and I really need to sleep, being the old man that I am, so I'll just say, much thanks to P for hooking it up with the tickets. You get mad J-props.

DAMNATION I have just been informed that the Sox acquired Flash Gordon. Not good times, bad times.