Moving Out

As I get ready to move out from my mom and dad's house later this week, it's starting to slowly hit me that I'm gonna be essentially "on my own" in the real world for the first time in my life. I mean, ever since I was born, there's always been the "parental umbrella" over my head to protect me, but up until this point, I've never truly and completely stepped out from under that umbrella.

I look back on the past few years, and in many ways I could say that I've already been becoming more independent throughout the years. The way I view the whole thing is like it's climbing a flight of stairs. At the top of the staircase is the "real world" and complete independence. As you move forward in life, you climb these steps one at a time until you reach that top level. Some people climb them faster than others, but most of us eventually get there one way or another.

For example, we all started out as babies. We need mommy and daddy for everything: not just to put milk and food straight in our mouths, but also to put us in our crib, to roll us around in our stroller, even to burp us and change our diapers.

Then at some point, we learn to walk. We get potty trained. We figure out how to feed ourselves using spoons and chew and all that stuff. Those being the first steps we take, obviously, and from then on I'm sure you all get the picture.

Well, I guess right now I'm taking this opportunity to reflect on my own life, my own set of stairs, except let's skip a few steps ahead to high school. Now, for most of my later years in high school, my dad worked in Taiwan and me and my sis stayed in Darien. Meanwhile, my mom went back and forth between two countries to take care of her husband on one end and her kids on the other.

During this time, I got a little taste of what it meant to be "man of the house". Such as, being the one to check on funny noises downstairs when it's late at night and mom and sister are too scared to go. Funny but true. Later on, since no one else was around to do it, I would experience the responsibilities of taking care of a house. Teaching myself how to fix the broken garage door, fix up aluminum siding, maintaining the lawn, things like that. Little things, but add them up to a big step for me.

There were the college years, when I moved away to school and lived apart from mommy and daddy for 9 months out of the year. That gave me a taste of the adult freedom that I never knew existed. Nobody forcing me to study, no one telling me where I could and couldn't go, what I could and couldn't do. At the same time, I learned some hard lessons that there were consequences to every one of my decisions. Another big step.

After graduating, and eventually finding a job, I could for the first time consider myself financially independent. Opening my own bank account, depositing it with paychecks earned from my own hard work, and, just a couple days ago, filing my own taxes. Yet another big step, and now I'm close enough to see the top.

Well, come this Sunday, when I move out, start paying my own rent, my own bills, etc., I guess that means I'll finally be taking that last step on this flight of stairs to reach the top. I don't really know what to think about that, the fact hasn't sunk in yet.

I know I'm very grateful to my mom and dad for being there throughout the years. They are the only ones who have loved me and cared for me unconditionally for the past 23 years. They're the ones that have pushed me forward throughout these 23 years and helped me to take each of the steps on my way up to where I am today. And I know that it's gonna be really hard for them to watch me take this last step on my own.

*nerd alert*
As for me, I'm picturing the scene in the beginning of Return of the Jedi. The part when Luke goes to visit Yoda, expecting to complete his training before going to fight Darth Vader and the Emperor. At that point, Yoda dies, and Luke is like "sweet, I guess I'm on my own then. Hope I don't get raped by Darth again." Or, in the Lion King when Simba watches his dad die in the stampede. Suddenly, he realizes that he'll soon be tested to see how he does on his own for the first time.

I guess it's like for the last 23 years, my mom and dad have given me all they can, taught me all they could, and now all that's left for them to do is to watch and hope that it was enough for me to survive without them. Well, I think they've done a more than admirable job of preparing me for this. Because of their hard work, I've had opportunities to succeed where they never did. Thanks to the things they've already done for me, I don't think I'll ever have to worry about survival.

In reality, I'm actually making this whole thing a lot more dramatic than it really is. I tend to do that when I write blogs, but oh well. I'll move out on Sunday, my life will change, but a lot will stay the same. It remains to be seen to what extent things will be different, but I'll just take it all as it comes.

One thing I can say for sure: many more thoughts related to this will follow in the coming days/months, and they will be recorded in this blog for you all to read.

Taxes

I did my taxes today. Got $1389.51 back from the federal gov't and $46.75 from state. For some reason, I didn't feel like $1389 was real money, it's just gonna get deposited into my bank. But when I saw $46 I immediately thought of what I was gonna buy with that money. So in the future, if I just send all my paychecks to direct deposit, maybe I won't spend any money.

Anyways, I was just thinking about what to spend money on. Electronics are the most tempting. The next purchase will either be the Toshiba Pocket PC or a nice little TV for my room. I was picturing that commercial when they have the flat panel and mount it on the ceiling. That would be pretty cool, but I don't think I wanna burn that much cash right now.

It's kinda bad, cause this is the kind of stuff that brings more recurring costs. Like if I get a PDA, I'll end up buying memory cards and add-ons and stuff. And if I get a TV, I'll probably eventually get a PS2 or GameCube, or a DVD player, which means I'll buy more DVDs.

Which makes me think, my life is pretty simple right now, and I consider myself a pretty happy person. Do more possessions really add more to life? I remember watching a video in Leisure Studies 100 (which I took one summer and I recommend to anyone still at U of I), and it was comparing people's standard of living in the 50's to how it is today. In the 50's, people were told that the technology advances in the future would eliminate the need for us to work, and that everyone would be able to relax all day.

Well, it turns out that technology is indeed more advanced today, but the opposite has happened to the typical person's lifestyle. Instead of having more free time, we are statistically busier and more stressed than ever. We work more, and make more money, but we also spend more and have less time to enjoy what we have.

What to make of this? Should we live the life of a Buddhist monk, get rid of all our possessions and live on a mountaintop reciting chants all day? Well, I don't think that's the answer either. I still like my possessions. I still love the feeling of opening a new toy. And I don't know any Buddhist chants.

I guess I don't have a point to sum up all this stuff I just wrote. I started out just writing about doing my taxes and ended up writing about Leisure Studies somehow. And now I am too tired to write a conclusion.

Laters.

Jerry Krause resigned today. With the war going on, this SARS business, Columbia exploding, etc., this is by far the best news I have heard in a long time. It's too bad he didn't resign 3 years ago before Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Phil Jackson all left.

I didn't know Bone Thugs were Phil Collins fans. That new song ("Home") is kind of catchy but it's just not the same without Bizzy Bone.

Olivia cut her hair yesterday after she went back to school. I'm almost afraid to see what she looks like with short hair. Over the past couple years, I grew more attached to her hair than she was. I have a healthy obsession and a fond love for long black hair. And now it's all gone >:-O

I'm setting this Sunday, April 13th as my official move-in date. This whole thing has dragged out way too long and it's time to nail down a day for good. I should thank everyone who offered to help me move in, but I don't know if I'll end up needing too much help. But if anyone wants to join me for a dinner afterwards, to celebrate a successful move-in, that would be great.

Yesterday I ended up driving all over the northern suburbs. Stopped by the townhouse in Palatine to see my room and measure its dimensions, then went and looked for some furniture. I think I've decided to bring a queen size bed from home, and maybe half of my desk too. Which means one of these days I'll have to rent a U-Haul or something and just take everything there in one trip.

After furniture browsing, I stopped into the Borders by Woodfield and did some book and magazine browsing. It's something I haven't done in a long time and something I should really do more of. When I was younger, there was a Super Crown right by my house, and me and my sis would ride our bikes there during the summer and read for hours. I think the first thing I need to read up on is cooking. Maybe I will buy "Chinese Cooking For Dummies" when I have more time to experiment and stuff.

***

I was looking at pictures from my mom and dad's trip to Italy and Switzerland, and it suddenly made me a little jealous that I didn't get to go. There's so much cool stuff there. The Colosseum, Leaning Tower, Sistine Chapel to name a few. I'm not a big expert in art, but I think the painting in the Sistine Chapel of God and Adam is unbelievable. Michelangelo was a pure genius.



I've promised myself that at least once in my life I will go to Italy myself and visit all these sites. I want to visit China sometime too. It makes me sad that my homeland is today ruled by Communist dictators. China has such a proud history in ancient times but look how far they have fallen. Although I still think Chinese people have preserved the rich tradition and culture throughout the years to be successful wherever they go.

But thinking about how the great empires fell, not only China, but Roman, Egyptian, Mongolian, British, and every single other dominant power in world history, we in America should take it to heart and not be so cocky and act invincible in world affairs. Even though our military power is head and shoulders above any other in the world, it doesn't mean we can never lose our position as the dominant superpower.

Donald Rumsfeld especially pisses me off, it's hard for me to imagine a bigger jackass than him. I can't even imagine if I were living in another country, how much I would hate that guy.

Lunchtime Blog

Well, here I am at my desk, eating a quick lunch in while we break from our daylong design review. Read some news, checked my baseball team, made the blog/xanga rounds, and I still got a half hour left so why not write a lunchtime blog?

Some news - and this is probably old stuff for many of you readers by now - Jennifer Garner split up with her husband, the guy from Felicity. What's his name again, Mick Foley? haha just kidding, I know his name is Scott Foley.

That makes me mad. Who does Jennifer think she is to give up a guy like Scott? I mean sure, she's the big Alias star now and everything, but up until last year I only knew her as the older girlfriend from Dude Where's My Car. As for Scott, he's so perfect and yummy. She's gonna regret this decision someday.

Ok, just kidding again. I do not think Scott is yummy. I don't even have a clue what he looks like. I have never seen Felicity in my life, and only part of one episode of Alias. I could not care less about this breakup. I have, however, seen Dude Where's My Car and highly recommend it. Jennifer Garner is not bad but, truth be told, I have eyes for only one woman in my life.

So it looks like I'm gonna be working at least a few more weeks of OT. But, this weekend I still plan to start moving my stuff up to Palatine. Too bad I don't have any real furniture yet. Some of you North people may be getting phone calls from your favorite friend soon (me) to help me look at beds, desks, dressers, and maybe curtains too. I think I already decided on which curtains though. There's this satin number with rose designs at Marshall Fields that is calling my name.

Well, I need to use the bathroom. Laters.