For it's root, root root for the...?
So the Cubs/Braves series is tied 1-1. Even though I've always been a Sox fan, I would really like to root for the Cubs to win the World Series, having grown up in Chicago and all. Unfortunately, I think my opinion of this series is somewhere in between "indifferent" and "mildly anti-Cubs". There are a number of reasons for this:
1. Don't like Sammy Sosa. I never have. I hate that little hop he does after hitting a home run, I hate how fake and full of crap he is in interviews, I believe he uses steroids, and knowingly used his corked bat in the game.
2. I like the Braves. Not saying I'm a die-hard fan or anything, but they are probably the only non-Chicago baseball team I have followed from the very beginning of when I first started watching the sport. It's amazing how this team has changed throughout the years, but always finishes on top of their division, season after season. The team really deserves to be in a city that appreciates them more. I would be so ecstatic if they were in Chicago instead of Atlanta. The players are so good too. I wish I could root for true stars like Greg Maddux, Andruw Jones, Gary Sheffield, Chipper Jones, and more.
3. Cubs fans. The hardest part about rooting for the Cubs comes about because of the fans that like to talk trash when their team is finally doing well. In a way, I do understand that after years and years and years and years and years and years and years and years of losing and more losing, there is a lot of pent up frustration such that when the team actually wins, it is all let out in the form of unnecessary trash talking. I mean, I've been through a good number of bad experiences with the Sox, but when they start winning, you don't see me turning into a jackass all of a sudden and saying "Cubs suck" to everyone. Of course, not every Cubs fan is like that, and there are plenty of Sox fans who are not as mature as myself. But there's enough of the stupid Cubs fans out there to make me want to see their team lose so they will just shut up again.
Anyways, if the Cubs win, good for them. I'm not rooting heavily against them; more than anything else, I want to see good exciting playoff baseball games. Also, I think I might as well root for the Twins to go far, that way I won't feel so bad knowing that they owned the Sox in the last few weeks of the season.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Monday, September 29, 2003
Pics
Again, congrats and props to Chras on the new job. Some pics from John Barleycorn illustrate the celebration last Friday night:
The night begins... all smiles and a little sleepiness on my part
Still lookin good.... as Dave attacks
((( lemon drops.... lemon drops....... )))
*****
A bonus picture, here's my sister with Dee Brown, taken at the Union earlier this year. (2 of her friends cut out of the sides to protect identities)
Again, congrats and props to Chras on the new job. Some pics from John Barleycorn illustrate the celebration last Friday night:
The night begins... all smiles and a little sleepiness on my part
Still lookin good.... as Dave attacks
((( lemon drops.... lemon drops....... )))
*****
A bonus picture, here's my sister with Dee Brown, taken at the Union earlier this year. (2 of her friends cut out of the sides to protect identities)
The Internet
The 2003 fantasy baseball season is now officially over, with me finally winning a season. I would like to say congratulations to me on my victory, and wish my sincere condolensces to Piya for his narrow loss.
With fantasy sports on my mind all throughout this past weekend, I got to thinking about this one time when I was in my junior high or early high school years, me and my friends were so fanatical about the Bulls and the NBA that we decided to start our own fantasy basketball league. Since this was years before the Internet came along and revolutionized the world (of fantasy sports), we had to do scoring by hand, using boxscores from the Tribune. Of course, this was a huge pain in the neck and thus I don't think our league really lasted for more than a few weeks. It's still a good memory though, mostly I just remember that Mitch Richmond was awesome, and one day Kevin Johnson had 10 steals.
Anyways, now that it's 2003, computers and the Internet are considered second nature to most of us, I thought I'd note some of the other little things that a lot of us (or maybe just me) have gotten used to in the past few years, numbered but in no particular order:
1. Online Movie Listings - If you're hip, you use Fandango. If you're exceptionally cool like me, you customize your personal Yahoo! page. Either way, it saves us from having to dig through a newspaper and end up with black fingertips.
2. Driving Directions - If you're hip, you use MapQuest. If you're exceptionally cool like me, you customize your personal Yahoo! page. Neither one is 100% perfect, but both get the job done most of the time. It's one of those things that seriously make me wonder how I ever got by without it, considering how often I use it these days. A highly underrated convenience, to say the least.
3. Google - As everyone knows, search engines are a very powerful tool that can be used to research important information and gain knowledge about a broad range of topics. But for me, my favorite use of searching the Internet is to settle bets about random arguments that come up between me and certain friends. Such as, "How old is Cindy Crawford?", "Is Zach from Saved By The Bell really half-Asian?", and many more. I mean, most of that "important information" you can find in your local library, but how else can you easily find the answers to those kinds of questions? If not for the power of Google, I'm sure I would have experienced many miserable days of not having my curiosity satisfied or my hypotheses proven.
4. MP3s - I'm not someone who stopped buying CDs when it became easy to download any song you wanted for free. Actually, I probably started buying more CDs because I was exposed to more music beyond the top 40 rotation on popular radio. Anyways, I continue to buy music regularly, partly because it's my way of supporting the artists that I feel are putting out good music and deserve their share of my $13, and also because CD sound is still noticeably better than mp3 quality (at least to me). My point is, if the system wasn't abused to the point where musicians and record companies actually have a right to be mad, mp3s could actually be a really good thing overall. I think I wrote more in depth about this in a earlier blog so I'll leave it at that for now.
So basically, let me sum up the point of this blog. While the Internet has been hailed as a revolution that brings the world closer and forever changes the way people communicate and share information, I see it mainly as a source of free music and useless trivia. And of all the grand uses and conveniences that the Internet might have to offer, the only ones that matter to me are getting quick driving directions and local movie listings. Oh yeah, fantasy sports too.
Either I'm an ignorant fool, or technology still has a ways to go before we can really consider the Internet "revolutionary".
The 2003 fantasy baseball season is now officially over, with me finally winning a season. I would like to say congratulations to me on my victory, and wish my sincere condolensces to Piya for his narrow loss.
With fantasy sports on my mind all throughout this past weekend, I got to thinking about this one time when I was in my junior high or early high school years, me and my friends were so fanatical about the Bulls and the NBA that we decided to start our own fantasy basketball league. Since this was years before the Internet came along and revolutionized the world (of fantasy sports), we had to do scoring by hand, using boxscores from the Tribune. Of course, this was a huge pain in the neck and thus I don't think our league really lasted for more than a few weeks. It's still a good memory though, mostly I just remember that Mitch Richmond was awesome, and one day Kevin Johnson had 10 steals.
Anyways, now that it's 2003, computers and the Internet are considered second nature to most of us, I thought I'd note some of the other little things that a lot of us (or maybe just me) have gotten used to in the past few years, numbered but in no particular order:
1. Online Movie Listings - If you're hip, you use Fandango. If you're exceptionally cool like me, you customize your personal Yahoo! page. Either way, it saves us from having to dig through a newspaper and end up with black fingertips.
2. Driving Directions - If you're hip, you use MapQuest. If you're exceptionally cool like me, you customize your personal Yahoo! page. Neither one is 100% perfect, but both get the job done most of the time. It's one of those things that seriously make me wonder how I ever got by without it, considering how often I use it these days. A highly underrated convenience, to say the least.
3. Google - As everyone knows, search engines are a very powerful tool that can be used to research important information and gain knowledge about a broad range of topics. But for me, my favorite use of searching the Internet is to settle bets about random arguments that come up between me and certain friends. Such as, "How old is Cindy Crawford?", "Is Zach from Saved By The Bell really half-Asian?", and many more. I mean, most of that "important information" you can find in your local library, but how else can you easily find the answers to those kinds of questions? If not for the power of Google, I'm sure I would have experienced many miserable days of not having my curiosity satisfied or my hypotheses proven.
4. MP3s - I'm not someone who stopped buying CDs when it became easy to download any song you wanted for free. Actually, I probably started buying more CDs because I was exposed to more music beyond the top 40 rotation on popular radio. Anyways, I continue to buy music regularly, partly because it's my way of supporting the artists that I feel are putting out good music and deserve their share of my $13, and also because CD sound is still noticeably better than mp3 quality (at least to me). My point is, if the system wasn't abused to the point where musicians and record companies actually have a right to be mad, mp3s could actually be a really good thing overall. I think I wrote more in depth about this in a earlier blog so I'll leave it at that for now.
So basically, let me sum up the point of this blog. While the Internet has been hailed as a revolution that brings the world closer and forever changes the way people communicate and share information, I see it mainly as a source of free music and useless trivia. And of all the grand uses and conveniences that the Internet might have to offer, the only ones that matter to me are getting quick driving directions and local movie listings. Oh yeah, fantasy sports too.
Either I'm an ignorant fool, or technology still has a ways to go before we can really consider the Internet "revolutionary".
Friday, September 26, 2003
The following news report was written about my current fantasy situation. If you are not involved in my fantasy league and/or do not care about fantasy sports, I strongly advise that you skip this entry. It will come off as being especially nerdy and stupid, so don't say I didn't warn you.
*****
Clash Of The Titans
CHICAGO, Illinois - On a sunny but cool autumn morning, two teenage boys can be seen throwing a football around the fields of Grant Park. To the casual observer, these are simply two kids enjoying the comfortable weather together with some friendly non-competitive sport.
Upon closer inspection, however, one discovers that this is not your typical scene in Chicago. On the left is a skinny, dark-haired Asian boy, sporting a blue and white jersey with the number "35" on the back. The boy, named Quan-Xi, is quite obviously a fan of Mike Mussina and the Taipei Dudlings. Meanwhile, his friend, a rotund Caucasian lad that goes by the name Scooter, wears a brown T-Shirt and a baseball cap with the letter W, the familiar logo of the Kansas Whiteys.
As any fan who follows Dudo League Baseball is aware, perhaps the last thing you'd ever expect to see this weekend would be a Taipei fan associating with a Kansas fan. For you see, the rivalry between the two franchises is as old as the league itself. And this rivalry has never been as intense as it is about to become during the next few days.
Though they root for different teams, these boys have been friends for years and share a common love in rooting for fantasy sports. And ask either Quan-Xi or Scooter what their plans for this weekend are, and they would inevitably talk about their respective teams, as well as the prospect of winning the highly coveted Dudo League Championship.
"My dad wants me to do math problems all night, but you know I'll be there with my walkman, listening to the game on the radio in between the taking of derivatives and integrals, fo shizzle," says Quan-Xi with a wide smile.
Scooter, on the other hand, plans to watch the game with his older brothers at Hooters. "Yep, my momma works there and she can hook us up with all the beer we can drink tonight," the 14-year old boasts.
Though neither team has ever won the crown in the league's history, now in its 5th year, one of them is all but assured of walking away with the title come Sunday night. A long season that started in April now boils down to 3 days of games. Less than 15 points separate the Whiteys and Dudlings - it's truly anybody's guess as to who will emerge as the champion, and who will go home as the loser after all is said and done.
The magnitude of this battle is not lost on the players, either. Though a horrible outing by team captain Mussina and inopportune days off taken by the stars of the lineup, Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds, set the team back in the standings earlier in the week, the Dudling clubhouse is once again fired up and ready to go. Leading the charge last night were unexpected heroes, in the form of 5th starter Brad Penny and newly acquired Brian Lawrence, who both posted strong outings in head to head matchups against Whitey pitchers. (Team management thanked Lawrence after the game for his help, then promptly sent him back to the waiver wire)
After an early-morning workout, veteran starter Kevin Brown was asked about his feelings on the rivalry and the upcoming battle with Kansas. "We don't like those guys on the other side, they don't like us ... and right now I would enjoy nothing more than to give those cow-humping hillbillies the thrashing of a lifetime."
Posed with the same question, All-Star second baseman Alfonso Soriano had no verbal reply, instead simply flashing the broadest, whitest smile ever seen this side of Mateen Cleaves. This left reporters feeling somewhat puzzled.
Meanwhile, for the Whiteys, most players apparently preferred to keep the battle on the field and chose not to speak to reporters. Hideo Nomo, obviously still reeling from the previous night's collapse, could be seen in the corner of the dugout, quietly sobbing alone.
One man who rarely stays quiet, however, is Kansas owner Piya P_ongbunkor. The fiery tempered owner has long been known for his outspoken ways and gangster-like tactics, not hesitant at all to punish poor fantasy performance with brutality. Many a Whiteys closer has suffered P_ongbunkor's wrath, and in some cases, not even their families were spared. At times, his brutality has backfired and caused players to hide from him, but at least in the case of star relief man Eric Gagne, the methods of fear and coercion appear to have been effective this season.
One must admit, it is precisely the perfect string of converted saves by Gagne that has led the charge of these upstart Whiteys to the top of the standings this year. And if they are to have any hopes of taking the championship, the team will almost certainly need another inning or two from their dominant closer. The Dudlings know this as well, and the suits in Taipei have been accused of being behind the two failed assassination attempts on Gagne earlier this week. Though the front office vehemently denies gunning for Gagne, these narrow misses underscore just how much is at stake for these two teams, their respective organizations, and the fans.
In sharp contrast to Kansas' P_ongbunkor, Taipei's owner Joe Chen is a reserved and gentle man. Known around the league for his easygoing personality, players of all teams admire his style and most would relish the opportunity to someday put on a Dudling uniform and play for the storied franchise.
But despite the clash in styles and their teams' bitter rivalry, the relationship between Chen and P_ongbunkor is surprisingly close. Much like Quan-Xi and Scooter, these two men have their vast differences in their backgrounds, personalities, and team loyalties, but share a common love of fantasy sports. But when the two join several other fellow league owners tonight in an informal gathering at John Barleycorn, it will be interesting to see whether any drama unfolds in the midst of their fantasy squads' battling.
Throwing another twist into the equation is Sunday's McNown Football League matchup between the Taipei Dudalisks and the Kansas McNowns, both under the same owners as their baseball counterparts. In the past, this rivalry has been relatively one sided, with Kansas being a perennial favorite and Taipei being the regular league doormat. But this year, both teams enter this game at 2-1 and still hold bright hopes for a strong season. Though football will take a backseat in the minds of Taipei and Kansas fans this weekend to baseball, there will undoubtedly be plenty of channel flipping and scoreboard watching on Sunday.
As the loyal fans Quan-Xi and Scooter continue their game of catch on this morning, perhaps even they are unaware of the scale of events that awaits them. In the meantime, the collision course continues, and it is only a matter of time before this one fateful weekend decides all for these boys, their teams, their fellow fans, and of course, a certain two owners out there who have everything at stake.
*****
Clash Of The Titans
CHICAGO, Illinois - On a sunny but cool autumn morning, two teenage boys can be seen throwing a football around the fields of Grant Park. To the casual observer, these are simply two kids enjoying the comfortable weather together with some friendly non-competitive sport.
Upon closer inspection, however, one discovers that this is not your typical scene in Chicago. On the left is a skinny, dark-haired Asian boy, sporting a blue and white jersey with the number "35" on the back. The boy, named Quan-Xi, is quite obviously a fan of Mike Mussina and the Taipei Dudlings. Meanwhile, his friend, a rotund Caucasian lad that goes by the name Scooter, wears a brown T-Shirt and a baseball cap with the letter W, the familiar logo of the Kansas Whiteys.
As any fan who follows Dudo League Baseball is aware, perhaps the last thing you'd ever expect to see this weekend would be a Taipei fan associating with a Kansas fan. For you see, the rivalry between the two franchises is as old as the league itself. And this rivalry has never been as intense as it is about to become during the next few days.
Though they root for different teams, these boys have been friends for years and share a common love in rooting for fantasy sports. And ask either Quan-Xi or Scooter what their plans for this weekend are, and they would inevitably talk about their respective teams, as well as the prospect of winning the highly coveted Dudo League Championship.
"My dad wants me to do math problems all night, but you know I'll be there with my walkman, listening to the game on the radio in between the taking of derivatives and integrals, fo shizzle," says Quan-Xi with a wide smile.
Scooter, on the other hand, plans to watch the game with his older brothers at Hooters. "Yep, my momma works there and she can hook us up with all the beer we can drink tonight," the 14-year old boasts.
Though neither team has ever won the crown in the league's history, now in its 5th year, one of them is all but assured of walking away with the title come Sunday night. A long season that started in April now boils down to 3 days of games. Less than 15 points separate the Whiteys and Dudlings - it's truly anybody's guess as to who will emerge as the champion, and who will go home as the loser after all is said and done.
The magnitude of this battle is not lost on the players, either. Though a horrible outing by team captain Mussina and inopportune days off taken by the stars of the lineup, Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds, set the team back in the standings earlier in the week, the Dudling clubhouse is once again fired up and ready to go. Leading the charge last night were unexpected heroes, in the form of 5th starter Brad Penny and newly acquired Brian Lawrence, who both posted strong outings in head to head matchups against Whitey pitchers. (Team management thanked Lawrence after the game for his help, then promptly sent him back to the waiver wire)
After an early-morning workout, veteran starter Kevin Brown was asked about his feelings on the rivalry and the upcoming battle with Kansas. "We don't like those guys on the other side, they don't like us ... and right now I would enjoy nothing more than to give those cow-humping hillbillies the thrashing of a lifetime."
Posed with the same question, All-Star second baseman Alfonso Soriano had no verbal reply, instead simply flashing the broadest, whitest smile ever seen this side of Mateen Cleaves. This left reporters feeling somewhat puzzled.
Meanwhile, for the Whiteys, most players apparently preferred to keep the battle on the field and chose not to speak to reporters. Hideo Nomo, obviously still reeling from the previous night's collapse, could be seen in the corner of the dugout, quietly sobbing alone.
One man who rarely stays quiet, however, is Kansas owner Piya P_ongbunkor. The fiery tempered owner has long been known for his outspoken ways and gangster-like tactics, not hesitant at all to punish poor fantasy performance with brutality. Many a Whiteys closer has suffered P_ongbunkor's wrath, and in some cases, not even their families were spared. At times, his brutality has backfired and caused players to hide from him, but at least in the case of star relief man Eric Gagne, the methods of fear and coercion appear to have been effective this season.
One must admit, it is precisely the perfect string of converted saves by Gagne that has led the charge of these upstart Whiteys to the top of the standings this year. And if they are to have any hopes of taking the championship, the team will almost certainly need another inning or two from their dominant closer. The Dudlings know this as well, and the suits in Taipei have been accused of being behind the two failed assassination attempts on Gagne earlier this week. Though the front office vehemently denies gunning for Gagne, these narrow misses underscore just how much is at stake for these two teams, their respective organizations, and the fans.
In sharp contrast to Kansas' P_ongbunkor, Taipei's owner Joe Chen is a reserved and gentle man. Known around the league for his easygoing personality, players of all teams admire his style and most would relish the opportunity to someday put on a Dudling uniform and play for the storied franchise.
But despite the clash in styles and their teams' bitter rivalry, the relationship between Chen and P_ongbunkor is surprisingly close. Much like Quan-Xi and Scooter, these two men have their vast differences in their backgrounds, personalities, and team loyalties, but share a common love of fantasy sports. But when the two join several other fellow league owners tonight in an informal gathering at John Barleycorn, it will be interesting to see whether any drama unfolds in the midst of their fantasy squads' battling.
Throwing another twist into the equation is Sunday's McNown Football League matchup between the Taipei Dudalisks and the Kansas McNowns, both under the same owners as their baseball counterparts. In the past, this rivalry has been relatively one sided, with Kansas being a perennial favorite and Taipei being the regular league doormat. But this year, both teams enter this game at 2-1 and still hold bright hopes for a strong season. Though football will take a backseat in the minds of Taipei and Kansas fans this weekend to baseball, there will undoubtedly be plenty of channel flipping and scoreboard watching on Sunday.
As the loyal fans Quan-Xi and Scooter continue their game of catch on this morning, perhaps even they are unaware of the scale of events that awaits them. In the meantime, the collision course continues, and it is only a matter of time before this one fateful weekend decides all for these boys, their teams, their fellow fans, and of course, a certain two owners out there who have everything at stake.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Before I post my sappy blog, I wanted to congratulate Chras on being the latest to join us in the world of the 9-5. All I can say is, YOU THE FREAKIN MAN and I'm very happy for you, biatch.
*****
The Season of Change
The temperature is dropping, days are getting shorter, and soon enough, the leaves will change color and litter our yards. It's time for guys to put away the sandals and break out the jacket, for girls to pack up their tank tops and skirts for the light sweaters and pants. *tear* Baseball season is winding down, just as football season starts to pick up steam. Meanwhile, students from K through 12 through Ph.D are just now settling into the new school year. The season of change is upon us.
I've always liked the fall, the weather is nice, I always seem to meet a lot of people during this time, and there's just a pleasant feeling in the air. But this year, I'm finding it difficult to let go of the summer and move ahead. I don't think I'm ready to welcome in the new season just yet.
Thinking about the past few months, I'd have to say that the summer of '03 has treated me well. It might not have been the most exciting or eventful time of my life, but that's not to say it won't be memorable. Without going anywhere exotic, taking up a new hobby, or ever even taking a day off from work, I nevertheless enjoyed what I can honestly say is one of the best summers I have ever had, if not the best hands down.
Whether it's my imagination, or by coincidence, or by self-fulfilling prophecy, it feels as though the this time of seasonal change is also signalling a time for certain things in my life, both big and small, to change. Almost as if Mother Nature is running ahead of me, looking back and saying "I'm going forward with or without you. Are you coming or not?"
Change is a funny thing. Newton's first law of motion tells us that an object at rest will stay at rest, unless acted upon my some force. Often times, I feel as though I'm that "object at rest". Ever since I was little, it's been in my nature to resist change. My dad tells me that while other kids always got sick of their toys quickly, tossed them aside and wanted new toys, I would usually find one that I really liked and never let it go. I also had a blanket once that got so old, the edges frayed and the stuffing began to come out. My mom tried repeatedly to make me throw it away, but instead, I figured out how to sew and ended up stitching the edges myself. I think it wasn't until my family moved to Taiwan in my freshman year of high school, that I was finally forced to give up my tattered blanket. Otherwise, you might still be seeing me with a worn out, crudely sewn, kid-sized blanket on my bed, desperately trying to cover myself with it and stay warm at night.
The flip side of Newton's first law, of course, is that an object in motion will stay in motion, again unless acted upon by some force. I know people who fit this description of an "object in motion" as well. These people fully expect changes to come, and freely embrace them when they do. They'll move from place to place, change girlfriends (or boyfriends) and roommates regularly, switch majors every year in college, then get bored with one job after another when they reach the working world. As much as I think my life could use some of that kind of excitement, it's just not me. Quite simply, I don't like change.
Well, I guess there's no law that says when summer ends and fall begins, your own life has to change. Yet there's no avoiding the fact that at this age in particular, very few things in life ever stay the same, if any at all. At the job, I've almost become used to people being hired, let go, or moved around as a routine. In my cube alone, I've already seen maybe 5 or 6 different configurations with different people sitting here in less than one year. I myself have worked on 4 different programs, and just recently was shifted to a whole other department to boot.
In my living situation, I have no immediate plans to move, but my original informal "lease" with Brian was 6 months minimum, and that's coming up in October. My parents have been quietly pushing me to find a permanent house for myself all along, but I guess I'd always put off thinking about it. I know it's a wise thing to do for the long term, but I'd always make excuses. "What if I get laid off in a year?" "What if I want to go back to school?" And of course there's my favorite, "let's just wait and see, and I'll think about it later".
Coincidentally or not, that's precisely the kind of motto that seems to go along with my view of summer - "I'll worry about it later". Maybe that's what I've always loved about summer, not so much the warm weather or the long days or the time off from school, but the feeling like I have not merely an excuse, but a God-given right to procrastinate for a few months. Maybe that's why I don't want to leave this summer behind, because I dread the feeling of responsibility that I've come to associate with the arrival of fall.
Again, I look back on the past few months and find that I didn't do much at all. The voice of that guy in Office Space always pops into my mind: "I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be". Of course, I worked hard at my job (when I wasn't writing blogs), but other than that, I can't say that I accomplished a whole lot besides that during this time. Knowing in the back of my mind that I should have been thinking more about my future, making some decisions, and actively working to improve myself, I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I did none of those things. What I did do was watch a lot of TV, wash my car a few times, see a bunch of movies, and basically just hang out with my friends. Not that any of those things are terrible or worthy of shame, and in fact those are the exact things that make me feel like this was such an awesome summer. But I also need to be honest with myself in admitting that I've been using all these things as a distraction from the serious stuff for too long now. I definitely know I can't say "I'll worry about it later" for the rest of my life.
Eventually, the time comes when "later" turns into "now". Which takes me back to the bittersweet feeling I'm currently experiencing as the "season of change" arrives. I don't know exactly what it is that makes me feel like it's time to get serious. Maybe it's seeing my sister and all the other students headed back to school for another year of learning. Maybe it's the long, cold winter looming ahead as a menace I need to somehow prepare to face. Maybe it's the fact that a baseball schedule of daily games is being soon replaced by a football schedule of Sunday and Monday night games only - perhaps a subtle hint that I have no more excuse to not be taking care of other stuff during the rest of the week? Whatever it is, I get the undeniable feeling that "play time is over".
Life's not gonna get easier from here on out. My dad has always told me as much, but I always figured "I'll worry about it later". Only now am I starting to understand this fact.
Summer of 2003, so sad to see you go.
*****
The Season of Change
The temperature is dropping, days are getting shorter, and soon enough, the leaves will change color and litter our yards. It's time for guys to put away the sandals and break out the jacket, for girls to pack up their tank tops and skirts for the light sweaters and pants. *tear* Baseball season is winding down, just as football season starts to pick up steam. Meanwhile, students from K through 12 through Ph.D are just now settling into the new school year. The season of change is upon us.
I've always liked the fall, the weather is nice, I always seem to meet a lot of people during this time, and there's just a pleasant feeling in the air. But this year, I'm finding it difficult to let go of the summer and move ahead. I don't think I'm ready to welcome in the new season just yet.
Thinking about the past few months, I'd have to say that the summer of '03 has treated me well. It might not have been the most exciting or eventful time of my life, but that's not to say it won't be memorable. Without going anywhere exotic, taking up a new hobby, or ever even taking a day off from work, I nevertheless enjoyed what I can honestly say is one of the best summers I have ever had, if not the best hands down.
Whether it's my imagination, or by coincidence, or by self-fulfilling prophecy, it feels as though the this time of seasonal change is also signalling a time for certain things in my life, both big and small, to change. Almost as if Mother Nature is running ahead of me, looking back and saying "I'm going forward with or without you. Are you coming or not?"
Change is a funny thing. Newton's first law of motion tells us that an object at rest will stay at rest, unless acted upon my some force. Often times, I feel as though I'm that "object at rest". Ever since I was little, it's been in my nature to resist change. My dad tells me that while other kids always got sick of their toys quickly, tossed them aside and wanted new toys, I would usually find one that I really liked and never let it go. I also had a blanket once that got so old, the edges frayed and the stuffing began to come out. My mom tried repeatedly to make me throw it away, but instead, I figured out how to sew and ended up stitching the edges myself. I think it wasn't until my family moved to Taiwan in my freshman year of high school, that I was finally forced to give up my tattered blanket. Otherwise, you might still be seeing me with a worn out, crudely sewn, kid-sized blanket on my bed, desperately trying to cover myself with it and stay warm at night.
The flip side of Newton's first law, of course, is that an object in motion will stay in motion, again unless acted upon by some force. I know people who fit this description of an "object in motion" as well. These people fully expect changes to come, and freely embrace them when they do. They'll move from place to place, change girlfriends (or boyfriends) and roommates regularly, switch majors every year in college, then get bored with one job after another when they reach the working world. As much as I think my life could use some of that kind of excitement, it's just not me. Quite simply, I don't like change.
Well, I guess there's no law that says when summer ends and fall begins, your own life has to change. Yet there's no avoiding the fact that at this age in particular, very few things in life ever stay the same, if any at all. At the job, I've almost become used to people being hired, let go, or moved around as a routine. In my cube alone, I've already seen maybe 5 or 6 different configurations with different people sitting here in less than one year. I myself have worked on 4 different programs, and just recently was shifted to a whole other department to boot.
In my living situation, I have no immediate plans to move, but my original informal "lease" with Brian was 6 months minimum, and that's coming up in October. My parents have been quietly pushing me to find a permanent house for myself all along, but I guess I'd always put off thinking about it. I know it's a wise thing to do for the long term, but I'd always make excuses. "What if I get laid off in a year?" "What if I want to go back to school?" And of course there's my favorite, "let's just wait and see, and I'll think about it later".
Coincidentally or not, that's precisely the kind of motto that seems to go along with my view of summer - "I'll worry about it later". Maybe that's what I've always loved about summer, not so much the warm weather or the long days or the time off from school, but the feeling like I have not merely an excuse, but a God-given right to procrastinate for a few months. Maybe that's why I don't want to leave this summer behind, because I dread the feeling of responsibility that I've come to associate with the arrival of fall.
Again, I look back on the past few months and find that I didn't do much at all. The voice of that guy in Office Space always pops into my mind: "I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be". Of course, I worked hard at my job (when I wasn't writing blogs), but other than that, I can't say that I accomplished a whole lot besides that during this time. Knowing in the back of my mind that I should have been thinking more about my future, making some decisions, and actively working to improve myself, I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I did none of those things. What I did do was watch a lot of TV, wash my car a few times, see a bunch of movies, and basically just hang out with my friends. Not that any of those things are terrible or worthy of shame, and in fact those are the exact things that make me feel like this was such an awesome summer. But I also need to be honest with myself in admitting that I've been using all these things as a distraction from the serious stuff for too long now. I definitely know I can't say "I'll worry about it later" for the rest of my life.
Eventually, the time comes when "later" turns into "now". Which takes me back to the bittersweet feeling I'm currently experiencing as the "season of change" arrives. I don't know exactly what it is that makes me feel like it's time to get serious. Maybe it's seeing my sister and all the other students headed back to school for another year of learning. Maybe it's the long, cold winter looming ahead as a menace I need to somehow prepare to face. Maybe it's the fact that a baseball schedule of daily games is being soon replaced by a football schedule of Sunday and Monday night games only - perhaps a subtle hint that I have no more excuse to not be taking care of other stuff during the rest of the week? Whatever it is, I get the undeniable feeling that "play time is over".
Life's not gonna get easier from here on out. My dad has always told me as much, but I always figured "I'll worry about it later". Only now am I starting to understand this fact.
Summer of 2003, so sad to see you go.
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