Starting a Webpage
Sorry if the title was misleading, but this is actually about why I have not started a webpage yet, given all the time that I put into making a blog. A lot of people have asked me why I don't make one, and I tell them that I have tried to start one many times, but I just can't seem to follow through with it. I guess the main reason is that I don't have much of a purpose to do it. I mean, it's not like I own a business or lead an organization which would need any sort of website. That's the biggest factor.
Another big reason is the bad taste left in my mouth from high school years, when everyone and their momma built themselves a makeshift AOL page. All these lame sites really did was make me want to vomit. Basically, each page was exactly the same layout: get a cheesy background, include some clipped images from other sites, find a MIDI of the Backstreet Boys' "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," add a bunch of pictures with captions (usually full-size, scrolling vertically down the page), and there you have it. Links to all your friends' awful pages is a must as well. Be sure to also add a guestbook and harass visitors like crazy to sign it too. "Don't forget to sign my guestbook!!" is probably the most used sentence to end those pages. In extreme cases, I'll occasionally get a little pop-up box that tells me to "Please Sign The Guestbook! OK/CANCEL," and inevitably I'll always click CANCEL. I wish there was a "Get the #^($ out of my face button." It's all a lot like that girl from Can't Hardly Wait, "Sign my yearbook? Sign my yearbook?" except it annoys unsuspecting folk all over the internet and you can't shove her into a pool. So after seeing how terrible a personal page can become, I decided that I must tread very carefully should I ever try to make one myself.
Now, even people who have made pretty good personal webpages probably have found that it is hard to keep it up to date. And, if it's not regularly updated, people won't visit it after a while and your page will quickly lose its usefulness. The same could go for blogs, if you go months without updating, what's the point of having one? So basically, you spend a couple hours, days, weeks, or whatever it is, working to build a page which people will come, browse for a few minutes, and that's about it. This is why you need a good purpose to make a page.
There's plenty of good reasons to make one, I know. It's a good chance to learn and practice HTML, Dreamweaver, Flash, Java, or whatever it is. You can post your resume in the hopes that an employer will find it and like you, or post your picture in the hopes that a fine Asian hottie will stumble upon it and come chasing after your hot body across the country. It could be a good way to express yourself, your interests, etc. like cars, religion, or mullets. My point is, you gotta have some strong motivation to build a webpage, otherwise it will either turn out like half-assed crap or it will not get done at all. Personally, like I already said, I don't have much of a reason to make a page and I tend to prefer the not doing, rather the posting of of crap (this blog is an exception).
See, in this blog, I actually write more for my own benefit than for other people. I like the opportunity to clear my mind and write down all my scattered thoughts, which will hopefully be recorded for a long time such that I can come back in a few years and see what a freak I was back then. Honestly, even though it's definitely nice that people do read and respond to my blogs, I would probably still write in it if not a single person ever read it.
Before I wrap up yet another pointless, random entry, let me make a few more comments on good vs. bad personal webpages that might hopefully stem the tide of poorly made pages:
1. If your webpage has only one actual page, it is not a good webpage. I would hesitate to even consider it a real webpage. Every page should have a front page that at least links to some smaller sub-pages, instead of just lumping everything in random order onto one gigantic heap of confusion.
2. For pictures, using thumbnails is always a plus. There are fancy programs which will actually do this for you these days so there is almost no excuse not to use them. If you don't use thumbnails, try to organize it in some easy to view manner. At least if you have like 30 pictures, don't just pile all of them in full-screen size one below the next to form a crazy long string of images/captions, shrink them or something and put them so you can see 4 or 5 pictures within one window. I guess in this day of cable modem or whatever fast connection there is, it might not matter as much, but still.
3. Guestbooks are good - for guests. So it's pretty dumb to beg all your friends to sign your guestbook, who you probably see every day anyways. It's a nice place for people to leave comments if they randomly browsed onto your page and had some thoughts to share.
4. Almost any type of sound does not belong in your webpage. Especially MIDI's, they are extremely tacky and in many cases downright gay. Maybe in a few years, when computers and the Web as a whole are actually more multimedia and interactive, then sounds will be appropriate. For now, the only thing website sound does is annoy me like nothing else, make the site less professional, and at times scare the living crap out of me when I forget I have the volume turned up on my speakers.
I may think of more, but keep those tips in mind for now. Time for me to go again.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Recent Movie Reviews
I saw Signs the other day. (Don't read anymore if you haven't seen it). My friend brought up an interesting point - why would aliens invade our planet if they are hydrophobic? Earth is 70% covered by water, idiots. Aren't our bodies all like 70% water too? Also, is it just me, or is the idea that you can hear aliens communicating by radio (or baby monitors) kind of trite by now? You'd think they would use something far more advanced than RF, or at least a higher frequency than what an old baby monitor could pick up. These are guys with the capability of building those fancy spaceships to travel all over the universe, which seem to have some sort of cloaking device as well. Ok, I'm not seriously trying to be a nerd here, just trying to point out some legitimate concerns.
Other than that, it was an enjoyable movie. More as a funny movie than anything. The most hilarious part was at the kid's birthday party when the alien walked past the alley. Those aliens remind me of my grandpa, maybe it's just their hunched posture but still. Not that I have the best posture myself. My mom has always yelled at me for not sitting straight. That, and the fact that I refuse to wear sunblock or any type of lotion. I'd rather be burnt and have peeling skin, yo, wouldn't you?
Oh, back to Signs. How come they apparently own all these fields but nobody seems to take care of them? So the brother (Joe-ah-kwin Phoenix) works at a gas station right? But honestly, I don't think I saw a single tractor or barn or any farm equipment throughout the entire movie. Or is it customary that people just wander through others' fields in that town? And you know the guy (played by M. Night Shanana himself) that hit Mel Gibson's wife? How come he still peels out of parking lots and stuff? If I were him, I'd stop driving like a madman if I had killed someone already, you know what I mean?
I saw Austin Powers 3 as well, it was funny and not at all disappointing like I might have expected. Wise move to not give Beyonce too many lines, cause I was already getting annoyed at her saying "Shazzam" all the time. Anyways, if you liked the first 2 and haven't seen this one yet, for some freak reason, go see it, I highly recommend it. Plus, Britney has a small part in it too, which is a definite positive.
Probably one of the worst movies I've seen this summer was Mr. Deeds. I like Adam Sandler and all (Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison are 2 of my all-time favorite movies, period), but this movie sucked. There were funny parts, I'll admit, but overall, it just wasn't right. He's supposed to be more obnoxious, that's what we all love about him, isn't it?
I Am Sam reminded me how easily we all fall for a cute kid. Like Michelle in Full House, the kid (twins) from Big Daddy, Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense, etc. Especially girls, but everyone always likes to go "awww..." when a kid says or does something especially cute. Even me, I have a feeling that if I have a daughter someday, I will end up spoiling her. But yeah, this movie was pretty worth watching, not only cause of the little girl, it was a pretty good movie overall. Though I wonder, how does the retarded community feel about Sean Penn, a non-retarded man, playing the main part? I know for me, it's annoying when a white person plays an Asian on TV or in a movie, such as Mrs. Kwan in Mad TV for example. Not that being Asian is all that comparable to mental disability (quite the opposite in fact... muahah), but still. Is that politically correct? haha that reminds me of my favorite line from There's Something about Mary:
"Yeah, I work with retards..."
"Isn't that politically incorrect?"
"I don't care I love those goofy bastards!"
The best entertainment I've had lately wasn't from a movie, though. My dad dug up an old home video of me, my sister, and two of our best friends from 1994. I knew I was really short back then, but watching that reminded me of just how little I was, how my friend was like 6 inches taller than me. That, plus I had the token huge thick glasses and moppy hair. My voice was pretty high pitched then too. Keep in mind that I was already 14 years old by that time, it's a wonder I had any friends at all, let alone mack on any ladies.
Work is getting busy now, I better rage, yo.
I saw Signs the other day. (Don't read anymore if you haven't seen it). My friend brought up an interesting point - why would aliens invade our planet if they are hydrophobic? Earth is 70% covered by water, idiots. Aren't our bodies all like 70% water too? Also, is it just me, or is the idea that you can hear aliens communicating by radio (or baby monitors) kind of trite by now? You'd think they would use something far more advanced than RF, or at least a higher frequency than what an old baby monitor could pick up. These are guys with the capability of building those fancy spaceships to travel all over the universe, which seem to have some sort of cloaking device as well. Ok, I'm not seriously trying to be a nerd here, just trying to point out some legitimate concerns.
Other than that, it was an enjoyable movie. More as a funny movie than anything. The most hilarious part was at the kid's birthday party when the alien walked past the alley. Those aliens remind me of my grandpa, maybe it's just their hunched posture but still. Not that I have the best posture myself. My mom has always yelled at me for not sitting straight. That, and the fact that I refuse to wear sunblock or any type of lotion. I'd rather be burnt and have peeling skin, yo, wouldn't you?
Oh, back to Signs. How come they apparently own all these fields but nobody seems to take care of them? So the brother (Joe-ah-kwin Phoenix) works at a gas station right? But honestly, I don't think I saw a single tractor or barn or any farm equipment throughout the entire movie. Or is it customary that people just wander through others' fields in that town? And you know the guy (played by M. Night Shanana himself) that hit Mel Gibson's wife? How come he still peels out of parking lots and stuff? If I were him, I'd stop driving like a madman if I had killed someone already, you know what I mean?
I saw Austin Powers 3 as well, it was funny and not at all disappointing like I might have expected. Wise move to not give Beyonce too many lines, cause I was already getting annoyed at her saying "Shazzam" all the time. Anyways, if you liked the first 2 and haven't seen this one yet, for some freak reason, go see it, I highly recommend it. Plus, Britney has a small part in it too, which is a definite positive.
Probably one of the worst movies I've seen this summer was Mr. Deeds. I like Adam Sandler and all (Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison are 2 of my all-time favorite movies, period), but this movie sucked. There were funny parts, I'll admit, but overall, it just wasn't right. He's supposed to be more obnoxious, that's what we all love about him, isn't it?
I Am Sam reminded me how easily we all fall for a cute kid. Like Michelle in Full House, the kid (twins) from Big Daddy, Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense, etc. Especially girls, but everyone always likes to go "awww..." when a kid says or does something especially cute. Even me, I have a feeling that if I have a daughter someday, I will end up spoiling her. But yeah, this movie was pretty worth watching, not only cause of the little girl, it was a pretty good movie overall. Though I wonder, how does the retarded community feel about Sean Penn, a non-retarded man, playing the main part? I know for me, it's annoying when a white person plays an Asian on TV or in a movie, such as Mrs. Kwan in Mad TV for example. Not that being Asian is all that comparable to mental disability (quite the opposite in fact... muahah), but still. Is that politically correct? haha that reminds me of my favorite line from There's Something about Mary:
"Yeah, I work with retards..."
"Isn't that politically incorrect?"
"I don't care I love those goofy bastards!"
The best entertainment I've had lately wasn't from a movie, though. My dad dug up an old home video of me, my sister, and two of our best friends from 1994. I knew I was really short back then, but watching that reminded me of just how little I was, how my friend was like 6 inches taller than me. That, plus I had the token huge thick glasses and moppy hair. My voice was pretty high pitched then too. Keep in mind that I was already 14 years old by that time, it's a wonder I had any friends at all, let alone mack on any ladies.
Work is getting busy now, I better rage, yo.
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
More Thoughts on Music - Random Edition
If you are feeling too happy these days and need a downer, here is some sad news for you.
Britney's taking half a year off from doing new work. I wonder what she's gonna be doing? oh, I miss her already...
I remember when Nelly was just the guy with the "shimmy-shimmy cocoa pop" song (Country Grammar). Now he's all over the place. Even Justin Timberlake and N Sync want to work with him, it just doesn't get much cooler than Justin.... chance of a lifetime baby (giggle). But he's singlehandedly put St. Louis and their way of life on a national level. He's made it cool to say "herre" instead of "here," and kept most of us (or maybe it's just me) wondering what EI means. I just like him cause he raps about baseball or basketball (like the song "Batter Up" or "I play my position like a shortstop," or "I'm just Kidd-in' like Jason").
Why doesn't Chicago have any good R&B or hip-hop artists? NY's had so many stars, past and present, like Jay-Z, DMX, or Alicia Keys just to name a few in recent times. LA had Dre, 2Pac, etc. Atlanta's got TLC, Ludacris, Jermaine Dupri, Monica, Usher.... probably more I'm missing. All we got is R. Kelly, an accused pedophile whose only songs I really like are I Believe I Can Fly (played out by now) and Feelin On Your Booty Remix (played out in Apartment 312 at least). It's not like we're in Green Bay or something, Chicago used to have a really rich jazz/blues tradition, didn't it? Thank goodness that we at least had the Pumpkins in the world of alternative rock.
Maybe with the lack of talent in this area, I should start my own musical career. Probably not though, because I don't have much creative spirit in me. Then again, there is some utter crap I've heard on the radio over the years that shows you don't need to have much creativity in this business.
I think one of the reasons I love and appreciate music so much these days is that I personally suck so much at it. I remember when I was little, my mom made me take piano lessons and my sister take violin (that is another Chinese parent thing). I got ok after a few years, but not awesome. Especially considered to other Chinese friends and relatives I know. It's hard to be good at playing an instrument you don't enjoy, and it's hard to enjoy something that is forced upon you like a sledgehammer, in the form of hours of practice when the other kids are out on their slip'n'slides or playing ball outside. No, no bitterness here.
I don't have a good voice either. So, I guess that means I have lower standards for singers (a la Britney). Not everyone can have the incredible range of Chras like when he does O-Town's "All or Nothing." Showoff.
There is a song lyric for pretty much any situation, I've found. "It's gettin hot in herre" is only the latest example. Every time I tell someone to call me, it's hard not to think of Le Click's "Call me when you're down... call me when you need someone..." or if somebody asks me how I am, and I say "I'm doin' just fine", Boyz II Men pops in my head. I remember recently, someone said something like "I wish I was a little bit older," in which case it was mandatory that the whole verse would follow:
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six-four Impala - Skee Lo
Once, me and Piya (Mr. Smashing Pumpkins) were watching Scream 2 for some reason (don't ask), and Courtney Cox was trapped in the kitchen or something. Then she was like "Let me out!" and we almost simultaneously did the "Cherub Rock" version, *guitar* "let me ouuuut...." If you're not a Pumpkins fan, then I guess that story was pretty dumb.
Old school Snoop Dogg is pretty solid with the lyrics too. "So turn out the lights and close the door" ... "but for what? we don't love them hoes" or "Don't cry" ... "dry your eyes ... and here comes your mother with those 2 little guys" is what me and Olivia would always do.
I'm just waiting for the day when a half Japanese girl will diss me, so I can use one of my favorite Weezer lines, "G--damn you half-Japanese girls... do it to me every time" Pardon the edit, I try to keep the language in this blog as clean as possible so as not to offend any readers. Too late for that, perhaps, but I try.
I'm glad Dennis has started a blog. I'm telling you, it's not like I try to write long entries. In fact, I try my best to cut down. It's just that I am overflowing with thoughts and I don't want to deprive everyone of more of my fine self. tahaaa.... Anyways, everyone's blog that I read is pretty good. I enjoy checking them during the day when I'm not busy working or writing my own. Keep writing...
If you are feeling too happy these days and need a downer, here is some sad news for you.
Britney's taking half a year off from doing new work. I wonder what she's gonna be doing? oh, I miss her already...
I remember when Nelly was just the guy with the "shimmy-shimmy cocoa pop" song (Country Grammar). Now he's all over the place. Even Justin Timberlake and N Sync want to work with him, it just doesn't get much cooler than Justin.... chance of a lifetime baby (giggle). But he's singlehandedly put St. Louis and their way of life on a national level. He's made it cool to say "herre" instead of "here," and kept most of us (or maybe it's just me) wondering what EI means. I just like him cause he raps about baseball or basketball (like the song "Batter Up" or "I play my position like a shortstop," or "I'm just Kidd-in' like Jason").
Why doesn't Chicago have any good R&B or hip-hop artists? NY's had so many stars, past and present, like Jay-Z, DMX, or Alicia Keys just to name a few in recent times. LA had Dre, 2Pac, etc. Atlanta's got TLC, Ludacris, Jermaine Dupri, Monica, Usher.... probably more I'm missing. All we got is R. Kelly, an accused pedophile whose only songs I really like are I Believe I Can Fly (played out by now) and Feelin On Your Booty Remix (played out in Apartment 312 at least). It's not like we're in Green Bay or something, Chicago used to have a really rich jazz/blues tradition, didn't it? Thank goodness that we at least had the Pumpkins in the world of alternative rock.
Maybe with the lack of talent in this area, I should start my own musical career. Probably not though, because I don't have much creative spirit in me. Then again, there is some utter crap I've heard on the radio over the years that shows you don't need to have much creativity in this business.
I think one of the reasons I love and appreciate music so much these days is that I personally suck so much at it. I remember when I was little, my mom made me take piano lessons and my sister take violin (that is another Chinese parent thing). I got ok after a few years, but not awesome. Especially considered to other Chinese friends and relatives I know. It's hard to be good at playing an instrument you don't enjoy, and it's hard to enjoy something that is forced upon you like a sledgehammer, in the form of hours of practice when the other kids are out on their slip'n'slides or playing ball outside. No, no bitterness here.
I don't have a good voice either. So, I guess that means I have lower standards for singers (a la Britney). Not everyone can have the incredible range of Chras like when he does O-Town's "All or Nothing." Showoff.
There is a song lyric for pretty much any situation, I've found. "It's gettin hot in herre" is only the latest example. Every time I tell someone to call me, it's hard not to think of Le Click's "Call me when you're down... call me when you need someone..." or if somebody asks me how I am, and I say "I'm doin' just fine", Boyz II Men pops in my head. I remember recently, someone said something like "I wish I was a little bit older," in which case it was mandatory that the whole verse would follow:
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six-four Impala - Skee Lo
Once, me and Piya (Mr. Smashing Pumpkins) were watching Scream 2 for some reason (don't ask), and Courtney Cox was trapped in the kitchen or something. Then she was like "Let me out!" and we almost simultaneously did the "Cherub Rock" version, *guitar* "let me ouuuut...." If you're not a Pumpkins fan, then I guess that story was pretty dumb.
Old school Snoop Dogg is pretty solid with the lyrics too. "So turn out the lights and close the door" ... "but for what? we don't love them hoes" or "Don't cry" ... "dry your eyes ... and here comes your mother with those 2 little guys" is what me and Olivia would always do.
I'm just waiting for the day when a half Japanese girl will diss me, so I can use one of my favorite Weezer lines, "G--damn you half-Japanese girls... do it to me every time" Pardon the edit, I try to keep the language in this blog as clean as possible so as not to offend any readers. Too late for that, perhaps, but I try.
I'm glad Dennis has started a blog. I'm telling you, it's not like I try to write long entries. In fact, I try my best to cut down. It's just that I am overflowing with thoughts and I don't want to deprive everyone of more of my fine self. tahaaa.... Anyways, everyone's blog that I read is pretty good. I enjoy checking them during the day when I'm not busy working or writing my own. Keep writing...
Monday, August 12, 2002
My Mom and Technology
Almost all moms known to man have problems grasping the basic concepts of technology, but even I was surprised this morning by how bad my own mom is at understanding these things. I was trying to help her sign in to Instant Messenger on a new computer, so I asked her for what her screen name and password were. Turns out, she didn't know what her own screen name was, despite using it every day on our old computer to communicate with us in working hours. We're all used to the Automatic Login by now, but still... is it too much to ask to remember your own screen name? Anyways, I was pretty sure it was "Ruyee56" but she insisted that it was "RuyeeC," so I figured, she must know what she's talking about cause after all, it's her screen name, not mine. Eventually we figured out that I was right and she was wrong, not that I should have been too surprised, but it's just that she sounded so sure about it before.
Oh yeah, then I asked her to type in her password and she asked me, "You mean the one I use to login Yahoo! Mail?" Umm.... I don't know, you tell me, Mom. Thankfully, it was the same password.
I guess I shouldn't laugh at her too much about being computer inept. She's pretty solid in most of the other mom rating categories. And I'm sure she was pretty frustrated trying to teach me the alphabet, multiplication tables, how to take a bath, or how to cook.
One more thing, please don't add my mom to your buddy list and hit on her. She's a nice lady, but she's taken, ok? Just try not be a desperate perverted psycho.
Almost all moms known to man have problems grasping the basic concepts of technology, but even I was surprised this morning by how bad my own mom is at understanding these things. I was trying to help her sign in to Instant Messenger on a new computer, so I asked her for what her screen name and password were. Turns out, she didn't know what her own screen name was, despite using it every day on our old computer to communicate with us in working hours. We're all used to the Automatic Login by now, but still... is it too much to ask to remember your own screen name? Anyways, I was pretty sure it was "Ruyee56" but she insisted that it was "RuyeeC," so I figured, she must know what she's talking about cause after all, it's her screen name, not mine. Eventually we figured out that I was right and she was wrong, not that I should have been too surprised, but it's just that she sounded so sure about it before.
Oh yeah, then I asked her to type in her password and she asked me, "You mean the one I use to login Yahoo! Mail?" Umm.... I don't know, you tell me, Mom. Thankfully, it was the same password.
I guess I shouldn't laugh at her too much about being computer inept. She's pretty solid in most of the other mom rating categories. And I'm sure she was pretty frustrated trying to teach me the alphabet, multiplication tables, how to take a bath, or how to cook.
One more thing, please don't add my mom to your buddy list and hit on her. She's a nice lady, but she's taken, ok? Just try not be a desperate perverted psycho.
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Cops
Hey, everybody loves cops right? Well, as much as we all collectively adored the heroes in New York for 9/11, I must say that my personal experience with police officers has not been all that positive. Granted, I'm dealing with mostly traffic cops, a bloodsucking breed that we could probably all do with a lot less of, rather than those that fight real crime and actually "serve and protect." God bless the good cops, but this blog is for the ones that suck. I'm not trying to generalize, but everything I'm about to write is from my own experience, so jusrede and decide for yourself.
I think the first time I got pulled over was one Friday night, 2 or 3 years ago, coming back from church with my Mom and my sister. We were stopped at a light on 75th, and I did not notice that there was a cop stopped behind me. When it turned green, I guess I accelerated a little aggressively, and the flashing lights went on. I pull over into a little parking lot, and this officer walks over.
If you can picture this scene, there was me, a nerdy Asian boy in the driver's seat, my mother next to me, and little sister in the back, all of us dressed in church clothes. I wonder what was going through this cop's mind when he saw us there, but having already pulled me over, what else could he do but come and ask for my license and try to act intimidating nonetheless? "Do you know why I pulled you over? It's a 45 zone, I clocked you going 65, son." For people who think police officers don't lie, there's simple proof that they do. I wasn't going 65, he knew it, I knew it, my mom and my sister knew it too. Maybe I wish my car could go from 0-65 in like 3 seconds and 20 ft from being stopped at a light, but that is not possible in a 4 door family sedan. Anyways, I figure he was just trying to justify his pulling me over for little more than the feeling of annoyance that someone would accelerate quickly in front of him. All I could say was "uh... I wasn't going 65." So he kind of gave me an irritated look, glanced at my license, and said "Well, slow down, Joseph", then turned around and went back to his car, probably feeling somewhat dumb. Me, my mom, and my sister were just like "umm.... ok" and continued on home thinking about what a waste of time that was. But yeah, that was my first experience being pulled over, and even though I didn't get a ticket, it left a bad taste in my mouth for traffic cops.
Unfortunately, it was my first but not my last time being pulled over. Maybe a few months later, I was coming home on Labor Day weekend (like the first few weeks after class started, is that Labor Day or Memorial Day? I can never get those two straight), and I was also taking some people in my car too. Back then, I used to take IL-47, one of those 2 lane highways where you have to pass in the oncoming traffic lane. Back then, I was also much more speedy in my driving. Anyways, I was just flying along, like I was Speedy McSpeedster or something, doing between 90-100 for most of the way (in a 55 zone). Honestly though, it was a pretty "safe" 90-100, cause I would tone it down in areas of more traffic. What, you think I'm reckless or something? It so happens that about halfway in the trip or so, I note an oncoming car, and much like I did the whole way, I slowed down to a cool 70-80. Unfortunately, this oncoming car was carrying our friend Mr. Illinois State Trooper, who happened also to have his speed radar on. In case you are wondering if a cop can track you and pull you over going the opposite direction, I am giving you the answer of an emphatic yes.
Ok, so this scrawny looking cop comes up to my window, asks for my license, that whole thing, and says "I had you clocked at 89 back there, you in a hurry to go somewhere?" So I was like, "Umm... church," which was actually true, but it doesnt matter cause this cop didn't really give a hoot (Why are people so stingy with hoots anyways? Are they that valuable, so expensive that nobody ever wants to give a hoot?). So, I was kind of in a rebellious mood, and going against my better judgement, I decided to flat out deny going 89. After all, I did slow down when I saw the cop, to under 80, like I said. This denial thing proved also to be a fruitless gesture, but what it did accomplish was to get me a warning and repair order because I didn't have a front license plate. So then I pointed out that maybe his radar reading was on someone else. Sorry, no luck here either, because he had enough space to stop, turn around, and chase me down before another car appeared. Fudgesicles.
Then, I thought I would be a badass and ask to see his radar for myself. "No problem," he said, and then he took me back to his squad car. Sure enough, it said 89. "Dammit," said I, so being the logical man I was, I followed with, "your radar must be broken or something." As you can see, I was not only logical, but stubborn and unwise as well. On the other hand, this cop was a clever one, and he proceeded to pull out these tuning fork type things. Showing me, "this one is the 25 mph fork, this one is the 45 mph fork," then he hit each of them, put it in front of the radar, and yes, to my dismay, they did ring up to show 25 and 45. For extra emphasis, he hit both of them and stuck them in front of the radar simultaneously, showing two distinct readings on two screens - I guess these modern radars are designed to be able to read the speed of more than one moving object at the same time.
I probably would have been more impressed with that snazzy feature, if it weren't for the fact that I had no more excuses and by now I was looking pretty dumb. It didn't help that I was about to get a ticket that would eventually cost me about 200 bucks and force me to drive like a grandma for 3 months under court supervision. And, I would later find out that numerous friends taking 47 that day saw me pulled over as they were passing by. It's all that stupid cop's fault.
Another kind of amusing fact about that episode was that maybe 15 minutes after getting that ticket, I passed another cop going somewhat fast. This one didn't pull me over, he just kind of shook his head and glared at me. I think Grace would remember that one since she was in the car and pointed it out to me.
Well, you won't find me admitting it, but maybe getting that ticket did cause me to drive more conservatively, cause I didn't get another ticket for almost a year. In the name of not drawing out this blog excessively, I'll summarize. The following summer in Champaign, I got a ticket for going 39 in a 30 zone on Green St. I remember in that time, the Goods was with me so he could tell you what happened. This time, the officer asked me if I was in a hurry. I was tempted to tell him we were late for some Big Macs at McDonalds, which is where we were actually going to meet the other boys, but I doubt he would have given a hoot about that. Maybe if I made up some story about my wife giving birth or something, but I'm just not clever, especially not in thinking on the fly. Plus I probably don't look like I'm married. Still, 39 in a 30?? That's pretty freaking poor. Especially considering that my last ticket was for 34 mph - over the speed limit.
Then there was the time over last Winter Break when I got into an accident at Chinatown. Some guy was flying down Archer when I made a turn onto Wentworth. Then he tried to pass me on my right, except that was where the curb and parking meters were. Anyways, we called the cops, and first of all, it took them at least like 15 minutes to arrive on the scene. When they finally got there, the officer asked me like 2 questions and then wrote me a ticket for something like "Yield Left Turn Violation". I'm pretty sure the accident wasn't my fault; it's probably more just that they didn't feel like putting much effort into investigating so, why not just write a ticket and let me take care of it myself? Thankfully, I did take this one to court and the other guy didn't even show up, so they just threw out the ticket. Again, dumb cops.
Oh, and once I was ticketed for 81 in a 65 zone, at like 10 pm on a Sunday night or something coming back from home on I-57. There were seriously like no cars remotely close to me at the time. I don't see why the cop was there to begin with. I could have been going 120 and the only one in danger would have been myself, and maybe some possums. Certainly going 81 does not really warrant a ticket in that situation, I must say. But I guess I wasn't fortunate enough to be born with a pretty face or a nice rack. What can you do, cops will be cops. Sucks for me.
Alright, since this post has been pretty much pointless drivel thus far, maybe I should provide some useful tips for everyone out there to follow.
1. When driving to U of I, take I-57, not IL-47. This saves you time and also significantly reduces the chance of being pulled over by a cop going the opposite direction. Plus there aren't as many bugs or possums to hit, and you don't have to pass in the oncoming traffic lane, which makes your passengers nervous. Still, that doesn't mean you can't get a ticket on 57. Also, BEWARE OF IROQOUIS COUNTY! That place is a death trap, do NOT speed there.
2. If you notice a cop after you pass him, slow down. You might think it is too late, and you don't want to draw attention to yourself, but sometimes cops are in a noticeable spot not so much to pull people over, but to make people slow down. The worst thing you could do is keep speeding, because that tells the cop either that you don't care, or that you aren't paying attention as a driver. The dumb thing about my 81 ticket was that I actually set the cruise control at around 81, figuring that it would help me resist the urge to go a lot faster than that (which I probably would have). I didn't think a cop would care that much about me going 81 on an empty highway, but obviously one did.
3. If you are a girl, bat your eyes and turn on the charm. If you are a guy, just be polite and pray. Maybe you should think up a story too. Like you really gotta pee or something, and you have major UTI-phobia. It's worth a try, cause he's got you caught no matter what - arguing is only gonna make it worse (see 1st story).
4. Finding a "speeding buddy" on extended highway trips is only marginally useful. Whenever possible, stay in the right or center lane, and stay just within visible range of a speeder ahead. If you see their brake lights go on, it's probably wise to slow down yourself, even if you don't know why. It's very likely that they slowed down because they noticed a cop, not to check out one of the many hot chicks we always see walking around on the highway. Still, it's a lot safer to follow people or move in packs rather than to go alone. The chances of getting nailed by an undercover cop are much greater for the first guy who passes him.
5. Speaking of undercover cops, they are getting very sneaky with these things. I personally think it's worth it to pay attention to the people pulled over in areas you drive a lot in. For example, I've seen a lot ot people caught by green Mustangs, black Camaros, and white Ford Explorers. Sneaky sneaky. Don't forget to look out for the standard unmarked white or black Ford Crown Victorias too. And I might be mistaken, but I think in the Darien/Downers Grove/Woodridge area I once saw a souped up pickup truck chasing down someone with siren and lights. Take notice.
The best way to avoid speeding tickets is not to speed. But we all know this is unrealistic. Instead, let us all do our best to cheat the system as much as possible.
Hey, everybody loves cops right? Well, as much as we all collectively adored the heroes in New York for 9/11, I must say that my personal experience with police officers has not been all that positive. Granted, I'm dealing with mostly traffic cops, a bloodsucking breed that we could probably all do with a lot less of, rather than those that fight real crime and actually "serve and protect." God bless the good cops, but this blog is for the ones that suck. I'm not trying to generalize, but everything I'm about to write is from my own experience, so jusrede and decide for yourself.
I think the first time I got pulled over was one Friday night, 2 or 3 years ago, coming back from church with my Mom and my sister. We were stopped at a light on 75th, and I did not notice that there was a cop stopped behind me. When it turned green, I guess I accelerated a little aggressively, and the flashing lights went on. I pull over into a little parking lot, and this officer walks over.
If you can picture this scene, there was me, a nerdy Asian boy in the driver's seat, my mother next to me, and little sister in the back, all of us dressed in church clothes. I wonder what was going through this cop's mind when he saw us there, but having already pulled me over, what else could he do but come and ask for my license and try to act intimidating nonetheless? "Do you know why I pulled you over? It's a 45 zone, I clocked you going 65, son." For people who think police officers don't lie, there's simple proof that they do. I wasn't going 65, he knew it, I knew it, my mom and my sister knew it too. Maybe I wish my car could go from 0-65 in like 3 seconds and 20 ft from being stopped at a light, but that is not possible in a 4 door family sedan. Anyways, I figure he was just trying to justify his pulling me over for little more than the feeling of annoyance that someone would accelerate quickly in front of him. All I could say was "uh... I wasn't going 65." So he kind of gave me an irritated look, glanced at my license, and said "Well, slow down, Joseph", then turned around and went back to his car, probably feeling somewhat dumb. Me, my mom, and my sister were just like "umm.... ok" and continued on home thinking about what a waste of time that was. But yeah, that was my first experience being pulled over, and even though I didn't get a ticket, it left a bad taste in my mouth for traffic cops.
Unfortunately, it was my first but not my last time being pulled over. Maybe a few months later, I was coming home on Labor Day weekend (like the first few weeks after class started, is that Labor Day or Memorial Day? I can never get those two straight), and I was also taking some people in my car too. Back then, I used to take IL-47, one of those 2 lane highways where you have to pass in the oncoming traffic lane. Back then, I was also much more speedy in my driving. Anyways, I was just flying along, like I was Speedy McSpeedster or something, doing between 90-100 for most of the way (in a 55 zone). Honestly though, it was a pretty "safe" 90-100, cause I would tone it down in areas of more traffic. What, you think I'm reckless or something? It so happens that about halfway in the trip or so, I note an oncoming car, and much like I did the whole way, I slowed down to a cool 70-80. Unfortunately, this oncoming car was carrying our friend Mr. Illinois State Trooper, who happened also to have his speed radar on. In case you are wondering if a cop can track you and pull you over going the opposite direction, I am giving you the answer of an emphatic yes.
Ok, so this scrawny looking cop comes up to my window, asks for my license, that whole thing, and says "I had you clocked at 89 back there, you in a hurry to go somewhere?" So I was like, "Umm... church," which was actually true, but it doesnt matter cause this cop didn't really give a hoot (Why are people so stingy with hoots anyways? Are they that valuable, so expensive that nobody ever wants to give a hoot?). So, I was kind of in a rebellious mood, and going against my better judgement, I decided to flat out deny going 89. After all, I did slow down when I saw the cop, to under 80, like I said. This denial thing proved also to be a fruitless gesture, but what it did accomplish was to get me a warning and repair order because I didn't have a front license plate. So then I pointed out that maybe his radar reading was on someone else. Sorry, no luck here either, because he had enough space to stop, turn around, and chase me down before another car appeared. Fudgesicles.
Then, I thought I would be a badass and ask to see his radar for myself. "No problem," he said, and then he took me back to his squad car. Sure enough, it said 89. "Dammit," said I, so being the logical man I was, I followed with, "your radar must be broken or something." As you can see, I was not only logical, but stubborn and unwise as well. On the other hand, this cop was a clever one, and he proceeded to pull out these tuning fork type things. Showing me, "this one is the 25 mph fork, this one is the 45 mph fork," then he hit each of them, put it in front of the radar, and yes, to my dismay, they did ring up to show 25 and 45. For extra emphasis, he hit both of them and stuck them in front of the radar simultaneously, showing two distinct readings on two screens - I guess these modern radars are designed to be able to read the speed of more than one moving object at the same time.
I probably would have been more impressed with that snazzy feature, if it weren't for the fact that I had no more excuses and by now I was looking pretty dumb. It didn't help that I was about to get a ticket that would eventually cost me about 200 bucks and force me to drive like a grandma for 3 months under court supervision. And, I would later find out that numerous friends taking 47 that day saw me pulled over as they were passing by. It's all that stupid cop's fault.
Another kind of amusing fact about that episode was that maybe 15 minutes after getting that ticket, I passed another cop going somewhat fast. This one didn't pull me over, he just kind of shook his head and glared at me. I think Grace would remember that one since she was in the car and pointed it out to me.
Well, you won't find me admitting it, but maybe getting that ticket did cause me to drive more conservatively, cause I didn't get another ticket for almost a year. In the name of not drawing out this blog excessively, I'll summarize. The following summer in Champaign, I got a ticket for going 39 in a 30 zone on Green St. I remember in that time, the Goods was with me so he could tell you what happened. This time, the officer asked me if I was in a hurry. I was tempted to tell him we were late for some Big Macs at McDonalds, which is where we were actually going to meet the other boys, but I doubt he would have given a hoot about that. Maybe if I made up some story about my wife giving birth or something, but I'm just not clever, especially not in thinking on the fly. Plus I probably don't look like I'm married. Still, 39 in a 30?? That's pretty freaking poor. Especially considering that my last ticket was for 34 mph - over the speed limit.
Then there was the time over last Winter Break when I got into an accident at Chinatown. Some guy was flying down Archer when I made a turn onto Wentworth. Then he tried to pass me on my right, except that was where the curb and parking meters were. Anyways, we called the cops, and first of all, it took them at least like 15 minutes to arrive on the scene. When they finally got there, the officer asked me like 2 questions and then wrote me a ticket for something like "Yield Left Turn Violation". I'm pretty sure the accident wasn't my fault; it's probably more just that they didn't feel like putting much effort into investigating so, why not just write a ticket and let me take care of it myself? Thankfully, I did take this one to court and the other guy didn't even show up, so they just threw out the ticket. Again, dumb cops.
Oh, and once I was ticketed for 81 in a 65 zone, at like 10 pm on a Sunday night or something coming back from home on I-57. There were seriously like no cars remotely close to me at the time. I don't see why the cop was there to begin with. I could have been going 120 and the only one in danger would have been myself, and maybe some possums. Certainly going 81 does not really warrant a ticket in that situation, I must say. But I guess I wasn't fortunate enough to be born with a pretty face or a nice rack. What can you do, cops will be cops. Sucks for me.
Alright, since this post has been pretty much pointless drivel thus far, maybe I should provide some useful tips for everyone out there to follow.
1. When driving to U of I, take I-57, not IL-47. This saves you time and also significantly reduces the chance of being pulled over by a cop going the opposite direction. Plus there aren't as many bugs or possums to hit, and you don't have to pass in the oncoming traffic lane, which makes your passengers nervous. Still, that doesn't mean you can't get a ticket on 57. Also, BEWARE OF IROQOUIS COUNTY! That place is a death trap, do NOT speed there.
2. If you notice a cop after you pass him, slow down. You might think it is too late, and you don't want to draw attention to yourself, but sometimes cops are in a noticeable spot not so much to pull people over, but to make people slow down. The worst thing you could do is keep speeding, because that tells the cop either that you don't care, or that you aren't paying attention as a driver. The dumb thing about my 81 ticket was that I actually set the cruise control at around 81, figuring that it would help me resist the urge to go a lot faster than that (which I probably would have). I didn't think a cop would care that much about me going 81 on an empty highway, but obviously one did.
3. If you are a girl, bat your eyes and turn on the charm. If you are a guy, just be polite and pray. Maybe you should think up a story too. Like you really gotta pee or something, and you have major UTI-phobia. It's worth a try, cause he's got you caught no matter what - arguing is only gonna make it worse (see 1st story).
4. Finding a "speeding buddy" on extended highway trips is only marginally useful. Whenever possible, stay in the right or center lane, and stay just within visible range of a speeder ahead. If you see their brake lights go on, it's probably wise to slow down yourself, even if you don't know why. It's very likely that they slowed down because they noticed a cop, not to check out one of the many hot chicks we always see walking around on the highway. Still, it's a lot safer to follow people or move in packs rather than to go alone. The chances of getting nailed by an undercover cop are much greater for the first guy who passes him.
5. Speaking of undercover cops, they are getting very sneaky with these things. I personally think it's worth it to pay attention to the people pulled over in areas you drive a lot in. For example, I've seen a lot ot people caught by green Mustangs, black Camaros, and white Ford Explorers. Sneaky sneaky. Don't forget to look out for the standard unmarked white or black Ford Crown Victorias too. And I might be mistaken, but I think in the Darien/Downers Grove/Woodridge area I once saw a souped up pickup truck chasing down someone with siren and lights. Take notice.
The best way to avoid speeding tickets is not to speed. But we all know this is unrealistic. Instead, let us all do our best to cheat the system as much as possible.
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