Driving a Minivan
Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.
Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.
You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.
So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...
While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.
Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Students UIUC
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Monday, September 16, 2002
Wedding
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
Saturday, September 14, 2002
Post-Job Fair Thoughts
When I was watching TV last week in Champaign, I saw a commercial: "Is not having your high school diploma preventing you from getting the job you want?" Hmmm..... Well, something is preventing me from getting a job, but it's definitely not the lack of a high school diploma. I even got a college degree, for what it's worth. If you wanna see the diploma, it is probably somewhere underneath that giant pile of papers on my desk.
Anyways, as anybody who reads my blog regularly and carefully should know, I was down in Champaign this past week for the Engineering Career Expo (or whatever it's called), looking for some sort of engineering-related job. By the way, much thanks to BrotherD and his roommates for letting me crash at his apt. That was extra generous and I will hit you back for that Jack's Deluxe Frozen Pizza when I get the chance.
The expo was a little bit better than last year, as far as company attendance goes, but overall it was just about as pointless. There were fewer empty tables, but this is probably because this time around, companies already know they suck, and they were able to plan ahead with their suckiness in mind. Last year, the companies just kind of made plans to go to the fair, weeks or months before their financial situation took yet another unexpected dive. Then 9/11/01 came and threw more confusion into the mix. The result was many empty tables at the 2001 Expo and a extreme dearth of hiring.
This year, I was already somewhat mentally prepared for more of the same, with the economy still sputtering like it has been the past few years. I talked to some companies, handed out my share of resumes, and even got a little bit of free stuff too, just for kicks and giggles. But the overwhelming feeling that I got was that companies were still not serious about hiring. They were probably more just attending the fair for their company name, maybe taking a couple interns here and there, and keeping an eye out for that guy with a 4.0 GPA, president of the Engineering Council and College Republicans, interned with the CIA and the U.S. Navy, that studied abroad for two years while volunteering to help poverty-stricken sheep-shearers in Lithuania or something. By the way, that's not me. My GPA is more in the 3.3-3.4 range, I'm not president of anything important (unless you count the United States haha), and I absolutely despise those sheep-shearer lowlifes.
A couple companies seemed a little interested, but I'm not really holding my breath because you never really know what those company representatives are really thinking. I really wonder sometimes. Maybe someday I will be in the position as a hiring manager or something, that might be fun. First I would give all my friends jobs, then I would look for that 4.0 GPA sheep-lover student and tell him that we were looking for someone with more leadership qualities. I'd go to these fairs just for the free food, then be stingy with giving out the free flashing balls and hog them for myself. The most efficient idea would be to sit there at the table with a sign that says "visit InterviewTrak and look us up on www.google.com for more information," then point to it every time someone approaches your company booth.
Oh well, if I get any interviews soon, you will all know how it goes. Other than the fair, the week went ok. I was pretty sick for the first few days, so that wasn't too cool. I think I might have lost about 10 pounds again, sweet eh. But people might get a laugh out of the fact that I actually took some medicine this time. First, I tried a little bit of Triaminic. That didn't really do much as far as I could tell, but it tasted nice. Then I tried some Sudafed-type stuff to clear up sinus congestion, which I think might have been helpful. There were also some pretty cool lemony cough drops I had too. I kind of wish somebody had some 'tussin though. But yeah, before everyone starts judging me as some sort of hypocrite, just know that this was a special situation. I went down specifically to the job fair, so I couldn't really be lying in bed every day of the week until I got better. If you go back and read my PMS blog carefully, then you would see that I specifically said "... I do understand that in today's world, there are times when you can't afford to lose a couple days to illness and taking a Tylenol is worth it." Anyways, I only had a couple doses, not every 4 to 6 hours or whatever it was. And I recovered pretty quick too.
Also, I definitely stick to what I said about Kleenex and how it should not be so soft and pampering your nose when you are sick. I must have blown my nose about 900,000 times in the past week, with everything from toilet paper and napkins to paper towels (emphasis on "paper"). But I took it all like a man, and my skin didn't even peel one bit. I think I have conditioned that skin around my nose to be tough as sandpaper by now. Yeah, even the strongest paper towels tremble in fear to be blown by my nose, the king of them all.
As I write, my little stopwatch/alarm I got from Honda at the fair keeps going off periodically, and I threw away the instructions so I don't know how to turn it off. Stupid Honda, I never liked them anyways. They will not be receiving my customership nor employment anytime soon unless this silliness is rectified.
I still miss college life on campus, but it was cool just to experience it again for a few days. Any longer, and I would find myself living in the past like that guy in Can't Hardly Wait (what's his name again?). It's nice to finish your biznass in the early afternoon and be able to do whatever afterwards. I played some catch, chilled on the Quad and Union, even stopped by this special name-brand clothing discount thing at the Chancellor Hotel with Chras one day. Too bad it was mostly girls clothes and I don't like Structure/Express anymore. If I remember to, one of these days I might tell the story of why I stopped getting stuff from Structure way back in senior year of high school. Anyways, in no time I found myself back to the unhealthy eating and irregular sleep schedule of years past, as well as watching music videos all day and all 2,136 daily showings of SportCenter.
Green Street looks good, but it does not justify all the annoying construction we had to go through last year. Let me get this straight - they close off the busiest street on campus for a few months, make life miserable for drivers, pedestrians, and Green Street businesses, and spend a few million tax dollars for what? Sidewalks that are a little wider, but who cares? Walk/Don't Walk signs that count down the seconds left? A street that is more difficult than ever to drive through, that's for sure. I know what they could've done with the money, give some to me.
I can still login to the Union and EWS computers, which is nice. But I dread the day when I try to check my jychen UIUC email and it says "Account Invalid" or something, that will be a slap in the face. I never really used access to those labs like the school meant me to, though. All the free printing was either wasted entirely each semester, or used to print up fantasy baseball information. And most of the time I logged into EWS was to check my email or sports scores, not to do work in UNIX or use any of the programs like PSPICE or MATLAB. I'm such an awesome student.
I didn't get to visit Grainger like I wanted to, but I'll get my chance eventually. I haven't quite reached the point in my life yet when me and P can go back, haul some huge speakers into the big room on the 2nd floor, and blast Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls on Parade" at maximum volume. Someday, though, someday.
By the end of last semester, I was pretty tan from being outside all the time. But one summer's worth of being indoors all the time has pretty much all but negated that. I am once again just a pale skinny kid.
Ah, good old University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We had our good times and bad. I'll be back, don't worry.
When I was watching TV last week in Champaign, I saw a commercial: "Is not having your high school diploma preventing you from getting the job you want?" Hmmm..... Well, something is preventing me from getting a job, but it's definitely not the lack of a high school diploma. I even got a college degree, for what it's worth. If you wanna see the diploma, it is probably somewhere underneath that giant pile of papers on my desk.
Anyways, as anybody who reads my blog regularly and carefully should know, I was down in Champaign this past week for the Engineering Career Expo (or whatever it's called), looking for some sort of engineering-related job. By the way, much thanks to BrotherD and his roommates for letting me crash at his apt. That was extra generous and I will hit you back for that Jack's Deluxe Frozen Pizza when I get the chance.
The expo was a little bit better than last year, as far as company attendance goes, but overall it was just about as pointless. There were fewer empty tables, but this is probably because this time around, companies already know they suck, and they were able to plan ahead with their suckiness in mind. Last year, the companies just kind of made plans to go to the fair, weeks or months before their financial situation took yet another unexpected dive. Then 9/11/01 came and threw more confusion into the mix. The result was many empty tables at the 2001 Expo and a extreme dearth of hiring.
This year, I was already somewhat mentally prepared for more of the same, with the economy still sputtering like it has been the past few years. I talked to some companies, handed out my share of resumes, and even got a little bit of free stuff too, just for kicks and giggles. But the overwhelming feeling that I got was that companies were still not serious about hiring. They were probably more just attending the fair for their company name, maybe taking a couple interns here and there, and keeping an eye out for that guy with a 4.0 GPA, president of the Engineering Council and College Republicans, interned with the CIA and the U.S. Navy, that studied abroad for two years while volunteering to help poverty-stricken sheep-shearers in Lithuania or something. By the way, that's not me. My GPA is more in the 3.3-3.4 range, I'm not president of anything important (unless you count the United States haha), and I absolutely despise those sheep-shearer lowlifes.
A couple companies seemed a little interested, but I'm not really holding my breath because you never really know what those company representatives are really thinking. I really wonder sometimes. Maybe someday I will be in the position as a hiring manager or something, that might be fun. First I would give all my friends jobs, then I would look for that 4.0 GPA sheep-lover student and tell him that we were looking for someone with more leadership qualities. I'd go to these fairs just for the free food, then be stingy with giving out the free flashing balls and hog them for myself. The most efficient idea would be to sit there at the table with a sign that says "visit InterviewTrak and look us up on www.google.com for more information," then point to it every time someone approaches your company booth.
Oh well, if I get any interviews soon, you will all know how it goes. Other than the fair, the week went ok. I was pretty sick for the first few days, so that wasn't too cool. I think I might have lost about 10 pounds again, sweet eh. But people might get a laugh out of the fact that I actually took some medicine this time. First, I tried a little bit of Triaminic. That didn't really do much as far as I could tell, but it tasted nice. Then I tried some Sudafed-type stuff to clear up sinus congestion, which I think might have been helpful. There were also some pretty cool lemony cough drops I had too. I kind of wish somebody had some 'tussin though. But yeah, before everyone starts judging me as some sort of hypocrite, just know that this was a special situation. I went down specifically to the job fair, so I couldn't really be lying in bed every day of the week until I got better. If you go back and read my PMS blog carefully, then you would see that I specifically said "... I do understand that in today's world, there are times when you can't afford to lose a couple days to illness and taking a Tylenol is worth it." Anyways, I only had a couple doses, not every 4 to 6 hours or whatever it was. And I recovered pretty quick too.
Also, I definitely stick to what I said about Kleenex and how it should not be so soft and pampering your nose when you are sick. I must have blown my nose about 900,000 times in the past week, with everything from toilet paper and napkins to paper towels (emphasis on "paper"). But I took it all like a man, and my skin didn't even peel one bit. I think I have conditioned that skin around my nose to be tough as sandpaper by now. Yeah, even the strongest paper towels tremble in fear to be blown by my nose, the king of them all.
As I write, my little stopwatch/alarm I got from Honda at the fair keeps going off periodically, and I threw away the instructions so I don't know how to turn it off. Stupid Honda, I never liked them anyways. They will not be receiving my customership nor employment anytime soon unless this silliness is rectified.
I still miss college life on campus, but it was cool just to experience it again for a few days. Any longer, and I would find myself living in the past like that guy in Can't Hardly Wait (what's his name again?). It's nice to finish your biznass in the early afternoon and be able to do whatever afterwards. I played some catch, chilled on the Quad and Union, even stopped by this special name-brand clothing discount thing at the Chancellor Hotel with Chras one day. Too bad it was mostly girls clothes and I don't like Structure/Express anymore. If I remember to, one of these days I might tell the story of why I stopped getting stuff from Structure way back in senior year of high school. Anyways, in no time I found myself back to the unhealthy eating and irregular sleep schedule of years past, as well as watching music videos all day and all 2,136 daily showings of SportCenter.
Green Street looks good, but it does not justify all the annoying construction we had to go through last year. Let me get this straight - they close off the busiest street on campus for a few months, make life miserable for drivers, pedestrians, and Green Street businesses, and spend a few million tax dollars for what? Sidewalks that are a little wider, but who cares? Walk/Don't Walk signs that count down the seconds left? A street that is more difficult than ever to drive through, that's for sure. I know what they could've done with the money, give some to me.
I can still login to the Union and EWS computers, which is nice. But I dread the day when I try to check my jychen UIUC email and it says "Account Invalid" or something, that will be a slap in the face. I never really used access to those labs like the school meant me to, though. All the free printing was either wasted entirely each semester, or used to print up fantasy baseball information. And most of the time I logged into EWS was to check my email or sports scores, not to do work in UNIX or use any of the programs like PSPICE or MATLAB. I'm such an awesome student.
I didn't get to visit Grainger like I wanted to, but I'll get my chance eventually. I haven't quite reached the point in my life yet when me and P can go back, haul some huge speakers into the big room on the 2nd floor, and blast Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls on Parade" at maximum volume. Someday, though, someday.
By the end of last semester, I was pretty tan from being outside all the time. But one summer's worth of being indoors all the time has pretty much all but negated that. I am once again just a pale skinny kid.
Ah, good old University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We had our good times and bad. I'll be back, don't worry.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
And the DBA goes to...
I am sure everyone is dying with anticipation to find out who the winners of this edition of DBAs are. Well, wait no longer. The red carpet has been rolled out and the awards are about to be given. Read on.
(For the nominees, read my 9/05/02 blog).
*Best New Artist*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Ashanti [-|-]
The field this year was sparse in the "Best New Artist" area, as only three artists were nominated for this category. In the end, the sweet-sounding voice of R&B newcomer Ashanti won over the DBA voters, despite her affiliation with the God-awful Murder Inc.and Ja Rule songs. She would also be much better off collaborating with Skinny Joe (that's me) instead of Fat Joe, but too bad I can't rap. Avril Lavigne, while extremely popular with the younger audience after "Complicated," has failed to captivate the respect of the serious music listener crowd as of yet. Meanwhile, John Mayer, when asked about losing the award to Ashanti, was quoted as saying "I don't give a crap, those DBAs are for losers." Bad attitude, John, bad attitude. That's probably why he didn't win.
*Best New Blog*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... mcpheenys [-|-]
In choosing a winner for this category, two main factors were considered: quantity and quality of blogs. Many new bloggers had put up some excellent entries, but were eliminated early on from voting by failing to update for weeks at a time. In general, the quality of all blogs read by DBA exectives were good; however, the eventual nominees demonstrated outstanding creativity/humor/insight that set them apart from others. The trivia question format pioneered by stork0262, combined with regular gems of his dry wit is a prime example of good original bloggage. Cindychen has also produced some very insightful and well thought out blogs, though critics have complained that her family ties to DBA big cheese Joe Chen were the real reason for her nomination over other deserving blogs, such as parnstar, swkisaragi, or WillCheng Xanga, rather than achieving the nomination of her own merit. Meanwhile, ontic08 broke into the blog world with a flash and has demonstrated potential for greatness but perhaps lost out to more established, longstanding bloggers. As for the winner, few readers of mcpheenys log in the past few months have failed to come away from each entry feeling either utterly confused or thinking, "this kid is one strange character." And yet, the voters at DBA offices could not help but become addicted to reading this blog, featuring perhaps the dryest humor of them all. With the Best New Blog DBA, we salute mcpheenys and beg him to keep them coming.
*Gayest Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Enrique Iglesias for "Escape" [-|-]
Four songs were nominated, but one thing was almost certain - Enfreakay was going to win this category one way or another. With an unusual two nominations in the same category given to Iglesias, there was little reason for either Justin Timberlake or Dashboard Confessional to even show up to the awards ceremony, held at the Walgreens by 75th and Lemont. Ultimately, it was "Escape" that got the award over "Hero," by proving to listeners worldwide that they could run, they could hide, but they can't escape that song. A side controversy involved the nomination of Timberlake's "Like I Love You," as many felt it did not actually qualify as an actual song and thus could not be considered "Gayest Song." Yet, the fact that it still got nominated despite this and that that it was released only a couple weeks ago shows that the ongoing rivalry between Timberlake and DBA head Chen is still alive and kicking, with much animosity running between the two.
*Most Overplayed*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero [-|-]
Competition was stiff in this category, as all nominees successfully flooded the airwaves to the point of causing listeners to want to punch through a wall the next time they heard each song. Nelly's "Hot in Herre" was everywhere, although "Dilemma" could have just as easily been nominated. The eventual winner, "Hero," was picked over the others because it absolutely dominated every single station for a couple months as well as being the title theme to the movie "Spiderman," the WB show "Smallville," and the Houston Rockets Yao Ming Promo. Many still shudder to hear echoes of that song "... and they say that a hero could save us, I'm not gonna stand here and waaiiiiiiiiiiiiit...."
*Best Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Linkin Park - Papercut [-|-]
As hotly contested as the "Most Overplayed" category was, there were no clear cut favorite for the "Best Song" award. Hip-hop and R&B failed to make the list of nominees entirely, which was instead dominated by Alternative music. Sadly, Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" was never a real threat to win the award mainly because of radio overdose. Lavigne would eventually come away from the DBAs emptyhanded after receiving three nominations, with an angry but nevertheless cute look on her face. "Papercut" was highly underrated and did not suffer from being overplayed as much as the other songs. Mike Shinoda, accepting for the winners Linkin Park had the following words to say: "Much thanks for this awesome award, I've waited my whole life to get a DBA. I feel sorry for poor little Avril though. She tried so hard, and got so far ... but in the end, it didn't even matter."
*Ugliest Celebrity*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... That large skater-looking kid [-|-]
Many more nominations could have been handed out for this category, but ultimately it was decided that having six uglies show up at the ceremony was about all the people would be able to stomach. A somewhat surprising nominee was Christina Aguilera, but apparently "skankiest" and "ugliest" were treated synonymously by DBA executives. That large skater-looking kid won the award over Aguilera as well as tall awkard-looking athletes Yao Ming and Randy Johnson, mean Ebeneezer Scrooge-type Bud Selig, and she-man Venus Williams, even though teenage rocker girls flooded the DBA online voting to argue that he was "cute." Insiders also report that Venus originally was to receive the award, but fears that her nazi father Richard Williams would storm the after-party with a machine gun and fire wildly in retaliation eventually pushed the award into the hands of MTV punk/rock/skater kid.
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Alex Rodriguez [-|-]
Mussina had the loyalty factor, Soriano had the hotshot young Dominican edge, Bonds had the chasing history attention, and Johan Santana the unexpected success advantage. But none could compare to A-Rod, who is flat out awesome. As a shortstop, he leads the entire league in HR and RBI, that's including Bonds or Sosa. He hits well above .300 as a legitimate power hitter but bats close to .400 with runners in scoring position. Just imagine if he was on a good team, and with actual table setters ahead of him in the lineup. All this, with a solid glove and at age 27. Although Santana was a sleeper favorite early on, he could not overcome the awesomeness of A-Rod in the end. There was simply no contest when it came to handing out this award. He is also the MVP in my book, forget the Tejada business.
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Clinton Portis [-|-]
The definition of sleeper is a bit gray, but all of these nominees share the characteristic that none of them are Marshall Faulk, Kurt Warner, Terrell Owens, or Tony Gonzalez. While any owner would be foolish to draft these guys in the early rounds, taking a couple later on could prove to make or break their season. Ismail, Pittman, and Gardner all face new situations and opportunities, in the form of new teams and/or coaches, while Barlow is poised to take over the helms of aging Garrison Hearst, but Portis barely has a starting job at this point. Do the folks awarding the DBA know something the public doesn't? Maybe, maybe not, but if Portis can continue the line of success of Terrell Davis, Mike Anderson, and Olandis Gary in Mike Shanahan's system, he could put a fantasy team over the top and this is the reasoning behind giving him this year's award.
*Favorite Movie*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Austin Powers 3 [-|-]
The nominations for "Favorite Movie" were not surprisingly dominated by summer releases. The only nomination that was not from the summer, Crossroads, failed to garner the award because even Britney Spears's star power and quality acting could not overcome silly dialogue and a severely weak supporting cast. Sad, because we were all rooting for Britney to get a DBA and this was her only nomination this year. Don't worry Britney, there's always next year. Also, she may be able to take certain comfort in knowing that her cameo in Austin Powers 3 did help boost the movie over the serious movies it was competing against. AP3 also benefited from the late summer release date of Blue Crush and the recent business of DBA head honcho Joe Chen's schedule. Everyone knows Chen is a big sucker for these movies aimed at teenagers with cheesy acting and a dumb plot. Had he seen Blue Crush, it may have had a chance to be nominated and win this category over Austin Powers. By the way, if anyone wants to go see it with him, he would be very appreciative because Olivia doesn't seem too thrilled about watching the movie and he doesn't want to sit in the theater by himself looking like some shady lonely freak. Maybe he should just wait a few more weeks when it will surely be out of the theaters and on DVD.
*Best Recent Album*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Incubus - Morning View [-|-]
All four nominees in this category were deserving of the award, but since only one could win, Morning View was given the nod for its exceptional quality of work. The smooth sounds of Aaliyah, the addicting sound of Weezer, and the upbeat, hilariously entertaining, and hit-loaded Ludacris album were all great and the fact that they did not win shouldn't take anything away
from them.
*Best Meal*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza [-|-]
This category was loaded with great memories throughout this past summer, and of course their receiving nominations alone says plenty. Bob Chinn's, Spirit of Chicago, and the TM BBQ were all mentioned in past blogs which is an additional honor. Dennis's Mom's Restaurant was also great, with quality food, but the best part was being able to chill with some of my favorite people in the world. But I must say that when I am really hungry, there are very, very few things that can top a good old Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza (original, not that rising crust garbage). I could write an entire long blog on that, but you are all spared for now. Suffice it to say that Jack's is more than deserving of a DBA.
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Reruns of The Simpsons [-|-]
When you get right down to it, Simpsons in its heyday was the TV show of our generation. Even though now I only catch the reruns in syndication, it still beats any other show above. Friends might have challenged Simpsons as the best show of our time but Ross is such a homo. Baseball Tonight is great and has gotten better in the past couple years, but it wasn't better than the Simpsons by any stretch of the imagination. 106&Park is pretty good too, especially when they had Jin in the freestyle battles, but it's too bad that AJ is so annoying. PTI is a quality show, no doubt, but I can't watch too much of it or else it gets kind of repetitive. And Real World Chicago was only fun to watch so I could make fun of how dumb all of the people were. Kyle always wanted to "talk about it," Aneesa was nasty, Tonya was a hoe, and everyone else was a drama queen in one way or another. It seemed that ironically, the only person who didn't act that gay was Chris, the gay guy. But all this made for a very entertaining show to watch, I must admit.
*Best Website*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... ESPN Page 2 [-|-]
The best and most consistent source of entertainment on the web these days is ESPN Page 2, without question the most deserving of a DBA of the nominees. Yahoo! Euchre was once king of killing my time, but I no longer have the flexibility to play it during the day without interruption. CBS Baseball has been a great improvement and a better alternative to ESPN's scoreboard and GameCast, but there are other sites like it and it crashes occasionally. The Onion, while hilarious, is only updated once a week or so, unlike Page 2, which is updated every day. During this summer, I followed Page 2's Jim Caple's trek on I-90 across the country, read almost every one of The Sports Guy's commentary, and participated in the celebrity look-a-like game "Here's Looking At You" by submitting some good ones like Ernie Els/Conan O'Brien. Definitely a well done site and worthy of this prestigious award.
Well, that concludes this edition of the Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, otherwise known as "more proof that I have too much time on my hands." Thanks for tuning in. I haven't decided whether this will be a yearly thing, seasonal, or once in a blue moon deal. But doing this one took a lot of work so I am leaning towards less often over more often. Enjoy while you can.
I am sure everyone is dying with anticipation to find out who the winners of this edition of DBAs are. Well, wait no longer. The red carpet has been rolled out and the awards are about to be given. Read on.
(For the nominees, read my 9/05/02 blog).
*Best New Artist*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Ashanti [-|-]
The field this year was sparse in the "Best New Artist" area, as only three artists were nominated for this category. In the end, the sweet-sounding voice of R&B newcomer Ashanti won over the DBA voters, despite her affiliation with the God-awful Murder Inc.and Ja Rule songs. She would also be much better off collaborating with Skinny Joe (that's me) instead of Fat Joe, but too bad I can't rap. Avril Lavigne, while extremely popular with the younger audience after "Complicated," has failed to captivate the respect of the serious music listener crowd as of yet. Meanwhile, John Mayer, when asked about losing the award to Ashanti, was quoted as saying "I don't give a crap, those DBAs are for losers." Bad attitude, John, bad attitude. That's probably why he didn't win.
*Best New Blog*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... mcpheenys [-|-]
In choosing a winner for this category, two main factors were considered: quantity and quality of blogs. Many new bloggers had put up some excellent entries, but were eliminated early on from voting by failing to update for weeks at a time. In general, the quality of all blogs read by DBA exectives were good; however, the eventual nominees demonstrated outstanding creativity/humor/insight that set them apart from others. The trivia question format pioneered by stork0262, combined with regular gems of his dry wit is a prime example of good original bloggage. Cindychen has also produced some very insightful and well thought out blogs, though critics have complained that her family ties to DBA big cheese Joe Chen were the real reason for her nomination over other deserving blogs, such as parnstar, swkisaragi, or WillCheng Xanga, rather than achieving the nomination of her own merit. Meanwhile, ontic08 broke into the blog world with a flash and has demonstrated potential for greatness but perhaps lost out to more established, longstanding bloggers. As for the winner, few readers of mcpheenys log in the past few months have failed to come away from each entry feeling either utterly confused or thinking, "this kid is one strange character." And yet, the voters at DBA offices could not help but become addicted to reading this blog, featuring perhaps the dryest humor of them all. With the Best New Blog DBA, we salute mcpheenys and beg him to keep them coming.
*Gayest Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Enrique Iglesias for "Escape" [-|-]
Four songs were nominated, but one thing was almost certain - Enfreakay was going to win this category one way or another. With an unusual two nominations in the same category given to Iglesias, there was little reason for either Justin Timberlake or Dashboard Confessional to even show up to the awards ceremony, held at the Walgreens by 75th and Lemont. Ultimately, it was "Escape" that got the award over "Hero," by proving to listeners worldwide that they could run, they could hide, but they can't escape that song. A side controversy involved the nomination of Timberlake's "Like I Love You," as many felt it did not actually qualify as an actual song and thus could not be considered "Gayest Song." Yet, the fact that it still got nominated despite this and that that it was released only a couple weeks ago shows that the ongoing rivalry between Timberlake and DBA head Chen is still alive and kicking, with much animosity running between the two.
*Most Overplayed*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Chad Kroeger f. Josey Scott - Hero [-|-]
Competition was stiff in this category, as all nominees successfully flooded the airwaves to the point of causing listeners to want to punch through a wall the next time they heard each song. Nelly's "Hot in Herre" was everywhere, although "Dilemma" could have just as easily been nominated. The eventual winner, "Hero," was picked over the others because it absolutely dominated every single station for a couple months as well as being the title theme to the movie "Spiderman," the WB show "Smallville," and the Houston Rockets Yao Ming Promo. Many still shudder to hear echoes of that song "... and they say that a hero could save us, I'm not gonna stand here and waaiiiiiiiiiiiiit...."
*Best Song*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Linkin Park - Papercut [-|-]
As hotly contested as the "Most Overplayed" category was, there were no clear cut favorite for the "Best Song" award. Hip-hop and R&B failed to make the list of nominees entirely, which was instead dominated by Alternative music. Sadly, Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" was never a real threat to win the award mainly because of radio overdose. Lavigne would eventually come away from the DBAs emptyhanded after receiving three nominations, with an angry but nevertheless cute look on her face. "Papercut" was highly underrated and did not suffer from being overplayed as much as the other songs. Mike Shinoda, accepting for the winners Linkin Park had the following words to say: "Much thanks for this awesome award, I've waited my whole life to get a DBA. I feel sorry for poor little Avril though. She tried so hard, and got so far ... but in the end, it didn't even matter."
*Ugliest Celebrity*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... That large skater-looking kid [-|-]
Many more nominations could have been handed out for this category, but ultimately it was decided that having six uglies show up at the ceremony was about all the people would be able to stomach. A somewhat surprising nominee was Christina Aguilera, but apparently "skankiest" and "ugliest" were treated synonymously by DBA executives. That large skater-looking kid won the award over Aguilera as well as tall awkard-looking athletes Yao Ming and Randy Johnson, mean Ebeneezer Scrooge-type Bud Selig, and she-man Venus Williams, even though teenage rocker girls flooded the DBA online voting to argue that he was "cute." Insiders also report that Venus originally was to receive the award, but fears that her nazi father Richard Williams would storm the after-party with a machine gun and fire wildly in retaliation eventually pushed the award into the hands of MTV punk/rock/skater kid.
*Favorite Fantasy Baseball Player*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Alex Rodriguez [-|-]
Mussina had the loyalty factor, Soriano had the hotshot young Dominican edge, Bonds had the chasing history attention, and Johan Santana the unexpected success advantage. But none could compare to A-Rod, who is flat out awesome. As a shortstop, he leads the entire league in HR and RBI, that's including Bonds or Sosa. He hits well above .300 as a legitimate power hitter but bats close to .400 with runners in scoring position. Just imagine if he was on a good team, and with actual table setters ahead of him in the lineup. All this, with a solid glove and at age 27. Although Santana was a sleeper favorite early on, he could not overcome the awesomeness of A-Rod in the end. There was simply no contest when it came to handing out this award. He is also the MVP in my book, forget the Tejada business.
*Fantasy Football 2002 Sleeper*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Clinton Portis [-|-]
The definition of sleeper is a bit gray, but all of these nominees share the characteristic that none of them are Marshall Faulk, Kurt Warner, Terrell Owens, or Tony Gonzalez. While any owner would be foolish to draft these guys in the early rounds, taking a couple later on could prove to make or break their season. Ismail, Pittman, and Gardner all face new situations and opportunities, in the form of new teams and/or coaches, while Barlow is poised to take over the helms of aging Garrison Hearst, but Portis barely has a starting job at this point. Do the folks awarding the DBA know something the public doesn't? Maybe, maybe not, but if Portis can continue the line of success of Terrell Davis, Mike Anderson, and Olandis Gary in Mike Shanahan's system, he could put a fantasy team over the top and this is the reasoning behind giving him this year's award.
*Favorite Movie*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Austin Powers 3 [-|-]
The nominations for "Favorite Movie" were not surprisingly dominated by summer releases. The only nomination that was not from the summer, Crossroads, failed to garner the award because even Britney Spears's star power and quality acting could not overcome silly dialogue and a severely weak supporting cast. Sad, because we were all rooting for Britney to get a DBA and this was her only nomination this year. Don't worry Britney, there's always next year. Also, she may be able to take certain comfort in knowing that her cameo in Austin Powers 3 did help boost the movie over the serious movies it was competing against. AP3 also benefited from the late summer release date of Blue Crush and the recent business of DBA head honcho Joe Chen's schedule. Everyone knows Chen is a big sucker for these movies aimed at teenagers with cheesy acting and a dumb plot. Had he seen Blue Crush, it may have had a chance to be nominated and win this category over Austin Powers. By the way, if anyone wants to go see it with him, he would be very appreciative because Olivia doesn't seem too thrilled about watching the movie and he doesn't want to sit in the theater by himself looking like some shady lonely freak. Maybe he should just wait a few more weeks when it will surely be out of the theaters and on DVD.
*Best Recent Album*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Incubus - Morning View [-|-]
All four nominees in this category were deserving of the award, but since only one could win, Morning View was given the nod for its exceptional quality of work. The smooth sounds of Aaliyah, the addicting sound of Weezer, and the upbeat, hilariously entertaining, and hit-loaded Ludacris album were all great and the fact that they did not win shouldn't take anything away
from them.
*Best Meal*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza [-|-]
This category was loaded with great memories throughout this past summer, and of course their receiving nominations alone says plenty. Bob Chinn's, Spirit of Chicago, and the TM BBQ were all mentioned in past blogs which is an additional honor. Dennis's Mom's Restaurant was also great, with quality food, but the best part was being able to chill with some of my favorite people in the world. But I must say that when I am really hungry, there are very, very few things that can top a good old Jack's Frozen Sausage Pizza (original, not that rising crust garbage). I could write an entire long blog on that, but you are all spared for now. Suffice it to say that Jack's is more than deserving of a DBA.
*Best TV Show I Watch(ed)*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... Reruns of The Simpsons [-|-]
When you get right down to it, Simpsons in its heyday was the TV show of our generation. Even though now I only catch the reruns in syndication, it still beats any other show above. Friends might have challenged Simpsons as the best show of our time but Ross is such a homo. Baseball Tonight is great and has gotten better in the past couple years, but it wasn't better than the Simpsons by any stretch of the imagination. 106&Park is pretty good too, especially when they had Jin in the freestyle battles, but it's too bad that AJ is so annoying. PTI is a quality show, no doubt, but I can't watch too much of it or else it gets kind of repetitive. And Real World Chicago was only fun to watch so I could make fun of how dumb all of the people were. Kyle always wanted to "talk about it," Aneesa was nasty, Tonya was a hoe, and everyone else was a drama queen in one way or another. It seemed that ironically, the only person who didn't act that gay was Chris, the gay guy. But all this made for a very entertaining show to watch, I must admit.
*Best Website*
[-|-] And the DBA goes to ... ESPN Page 2 [-|-]
The best and most consistent source of entertainment on the web these days is ESPN Page 2, without question the most deserving of a DBA of the nominees. Yahoo! Euchre was once king of killing my time, but I no longer have the flexibility to play it during the day without interruption. CBS Baseball has been a great improvement and a better alternative to ESPN's scoreboard and GameCast, but there are other sites like it and it crashes occasionally. The Onion, while hilarious, is only updated once a week or so, unlike Page 2, which is updated every day. During this summer, I followed Page 2's Jim Caple's trek on I-90 across the country, read almost every one of The Sports Guy's commentary, and participated in the celebrity look-a-like game "Here's Looking At You" by submitting some good ones like Ernie Els/Conan O'Brien. Definitely a well done site and worthy of this prestigious award.
Well, that concludes this edition of the Dudo509 Blogspot Awards, otherwise known as "more proof that I have too much time on my hands." Thanks for tuning in. I haven't decided whether this will be a yearly thing, seasonal, or once in a blue moon deal. But doing this one took a lot of work so I am leaning towards less often over more often. Enjoy while you can.
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