Stupid People
I spent half this morning so far trying to get a copy of my unofficial transcript from the lovely idiots running the Student Services office at the U of I College of Engineering. Seriously, I don't know how a department that is ranked top 3 in the nation can hire such incompetence to take care of their business matters in their offices.
So before I even got to talk to a person that could actually help me, I had to go through some stupid touch-tone menu system, then my call was forwarded three separate times by three different people. Each time, the person would listen to me say "Hi, I graduated in May and I need to get an unofficial copy of my transcript for an interview," pause for a few moments, then decide that they didn't feel like helping me and dump me on someone else by transferring my call. That's if I was lucky, one braindead lady first chose to waste my time by asking me a whole bunch of questions like "What is the transcript for?" and other info which I ended up repeating anyways to the last person. What a waste of time, if you're gonna transfer me, just do it right away instead of pretending like you know how to fix my problem.
Finally, I got to a lady who seemed like she was at least gonna try to help me out. Unfortunately, she was pretty incompetent too. Somehow, she managed to pull up my transcript on her computer, but when I asked if she could just cut and paste the text and email it to me, she said "ummm... I don't know how to do that." What followed was about a solid minute of stunned silence, as I tried to imagine how you could work in an office with computers, and not know how to cut and paste.
Pretty ridiculous, but I decided screw the email idea, asking her if she could fax me a copy instead. She had to pause awhile for this one, then told me "I don't know if I can do that, but why don't you just give me your fax number, I'll ask someone here if that's possible?" @#*&$%(@&$* Ummm ok here's an idea - why don't you give me your fax number, so I can send you some working brain cells? How hard is it to send a freaking fax?!! I so wanted to throw my phone at the wall. Still, that was probably gonna be my best option, so I decided to just go with it.
Since it was kind of important that I get the transcript soon, I told her to write down my voice (cell) number along with my fax number, and if she ended up not being able to fax it, to call me back so I could find some other solution. Then for 20 minutes or so, I held my breath hoping that somehow this low-IQ lady would come through for me. Finally, I hear a ringer go off. Except it's my cell phone ("you drive me crazy I just can't sleep... I'm so excited, I'm in too deep..."), not my fax machine. Oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me. So I pick it up, and sure enough, I hear the beeping of an incoming fax.
By this time, I was ready to drive down to Champaign myself and lay the smackdown at Engineering Hall. At least I wanted to call back and tell her that she was sending to the wrong phone number, too bad I didn't know what number to call her at. The last thing I wanted to do was to go through their stupid menu system, then say to three different people "Hi, I called earlier about the transcript, can you transfer me to whoever you did last time?" because who knows where that would take me? I would probably end up speaking to a tribal leader in Africa or something.
Thankfully, within another two minutes or so, she must have figured out her boo-boo and I finally got my transcript through the correct fax number. Big sigh of relief.
The other half of my morning was spent on the phone with the lovely folks at Cingular Wireless Customer Service. Those people are actually a little better, but still, I don't know if it is part of the job description of people who answer phones to not be able to help you. It's like they are paid to put you on hold and take as much time as possible before solving your problem. If their computer isn't working quite right, you gotta wait 5 minutes for them to reboot. If you ask them any question besides "How are you?", they have to check with their supervisor to make sure.
The dumb thing is that for the past three months, they have been messing up my bill every which way. I'm supposed to get nationwide long distance, but they ended up billing me for long distance charges on calls to my own cell phone when I was checking voicemail. I'm supposed to have unlimited nights/weekends too, but they found a way to mess that up as well. I don't know how or why, but they gave me 321 night/wknd minutes for free, and then started charging extra fees after that. Makes no sense, but whatever.
After about half an hour on the phone with this girl (who sounded like she was about 16 years old, but I won't rip on her too much because she was polite and at least tried to help), I ended up just changing my plan so I won't have to deal with this crap every month for the rest of my life. Now I am gonna be paying $39.99 a month (instead of $35) but I get 600 anytime minutes a month that rollover. By the way, rollover minutes seem like such an awesome thing, but I say that's how they should have done it to begin with. What's with all the advertising as if it is some new genious idea? As for the rest of my plan, it won't be unlimited night/weekends anymore, it's 3500 minutes. I don't think it will matter, I don't use anything close to 3500 anyways, but just the fact that I am paying 5 bucks more per month to avoid having to deal with my Cingular buddies all the time is pretty dumb. It's one thing for people to be stupid, but now their stupidity is costing me in the form of a $5 monthly fee. That's what should show up on my bill, a $30 plan, plus $2 for caller ID, plus $3 for Nationwide Long Distance, and finally, $4.99 for Cingular Idiot Charges.
I'm too tired to fight. Make love, not war, they say. If I really wanted to get back at these people, I'd tell my mom to call them up, and within minutes they would be at their knees begging me for mercy. If you ever meet my mother, she is a sweet lady but when it comes to dealing with people on the phone, she's ruthless. She will fight for every last penny as if it was her dying breath when it comes to mistakes on credit card bills, bank statements, etc. Not only this, but she is so painfully fobby to deal with so that after a couple minutes of trying to understand her English or trying to explain something to her, most people give up and just agree to all demands. It's also not uncommon for them to throw in a free gift certificate or something, just to get Mrs. Chen off their case. Haha gotta love my momma. You can't stop her, you can only hope to contain her.
Oh yeah, I have an interview tomorrow with Northrop Grumman, which is what started this whole thing. Wish me luck please.
Thursday, September 19, 2002
More on My Mom and Computers
I wrote about this before, but my mom is too funny when it comes to computers. She came running to my room earlier asking me for help, all stressed out and scared that she messed up the computer badly. It turns out that she couldn't figure out how to close one of those banner ads that look like a small warning/dialog box window. You know, the ones that say something like "Your Internet is not optimized for speed! Click OK to fix" and have a the minimize/restore/close buttons in the top right corner. So she must have spent like 10 minutes trying to close a banner ad that only looked like a window, before turning desperate and coming to me for help.
Then she was all freaked out because she opened a program, and then all of the programs disappeared on the taskbar. This time, it was because Windows XP starts a new row on the taskbar when you have too much stuff open, and adds a scroll button on the side. She didn't notice the scroll thing so she was all in panic thinking that she closed all my programs without saving or something. Ahhh... it's cute right now but maybe if she starts finding new ways to be dumb about computers every day, I will not be as amused.
I wrote about this before, but my mom is too funny when it comes to computers. She came running to my room earlier asking me for help, all stressed out and scared that she messed up the computer badly. It turns out that she couldn't figure out how to close one of those banner ads that look like a small warning/dialog box window. You know, the ones that say something like "Your Internet is not optimized for speed! Click OK to fix" and have a the minimize/restore/close buttons in the top right corner. So she must have spent like 10 minutes trying to close a banner ad that only looked like a window, before turning desperate and coming to me for help.
Then she was all freaked out because she opened a program, and then all of the programs disappeared on the taskbar. This time, it was because Windows XP starts a new row on the taskbar when you have too much stuff open, and adds a scroll button on the side. She didn't notice the scroll thing so she was all in panic thinking that she closed all my programs without saving or something. Ahhh... it's cute right now but maybe if she starts finding new ways to be dumb about computers every day, I will not be as amused.
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Driving a Minivan
Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.
Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.
You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.
So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...
While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.
Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...
Ok, so my favorite little sister took my Maxima down to school a few weeks ago, leaving me with nothing to drive other than sharing my mom and dad's car, a 1996 Chrysler Town & Country LXI. Now supposedly this is the "king of all minivans," at least that's what Linda or her friend said, and I'll admit that it is about as pimp as a minivan can be. Leather seats, power everything, factory tinted windows, and Infinity premium sound system. If you see a guy driving around town in a dark maroon Town & Country, blasting some Ludacris' "Move, b-tch! Get out the way! Get out the way b-tch get out the way," and flooring it from the stoplight trying to race some beat up old station wagon, that's probably me. Say hi.
Haha but how pimp can a minivan really get, even with someone with mad flava like me driving it? The answer is, not very. It has decent power when nobody else is riding in it, but it's just nothing close to my beloved Max. Maybe I should change to a performance intake or get a turbo kit for this thing. And might as well add a new subwoofer system to the back while I'm at it. Nah, you know it's way too much work trying to make a minivan cool. An uphill battle, if you will. Plus I don't think I will be driving it for more than a month or two.
You know how women like to drive minivans and SUVs because they are set higher and they feel safer? Well, I don't feel that way at all, I feel like I am so far from the ground and I can't see anything that is around me. It's like a big huge blind spot surrounding the van. One of these days, I swear I am gonna accidentally run over someone's cat while backing out of my driveway. Seriously, I don't know why that kind of crap doesn't happen more often. I can't take turns as fast either, cause I feel like I might tip over. That would suck, I would look pretty freaking dumb, sitting in my van on its side like some sort of helpless cow. You think it's a funny picture now, but one of these days my aggressive turning style will be the end of me.
So I don't care if in 10 years I am a family man with 6 kids or something, I will never buy a minivan of my own. Screw taking my family camping and gayness like that. Also, my kids will have to settle for learning karate or chess, instead of baseball or football, so I don't need a big car to lug their equipment and teammates around. Actually, check that, I will definitely find a way to take my boy to little league. I'm making him into the next A-Rod, or Ching-Fen Chen for that matter. Muahaha...
While I wouldn't touch a minivan or SUV, I don't like tiny sports cars either. I like bigger 4-door cars that are sporty (like the Maxima, M5, GS430, etc.). But if family duties call, I guess I could live with getting a Escalade. Those things are pretty sweet, have you ever seen an Escalade that wasn't bad-ass? They must all come from the factory with chrome rims and the Big Tymers stamp of approval. The only problem is that if the stereo system takes up the whole trunk, there won't be any room to hold groceries and stuff. That would kind of suck.
Ok, so while I figure out whether I'm gonna take my car back and make my sis find a new one, or get a car myself, it's me and my Chrysler Town & Country. Fun times, fun times...
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Students UIUC
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Finally, the day has come when my University account is deactivated. I open telnet to students, log in, as I must have done so many thousands of times in the past few years, except this time, a big banner message greeted me: ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, no hug or anything? How rude. I was expecting a tearful goodbye note from the chancellor himself, with a picture of a flower and cheesy music playing to make me feel missed. But no, I get ACCOUNT NOT ACTIVE. That's it, I am creating my own email server, inviting University employees to join, then cut them off after four years with a message that says SO LONG SUCKERS. Haha just kidding. That was a dumb idea wasn't it, impractical as well.
So I guess that means no more 8 spam messages a day, AAA/TASC updates, ECE Currents, etc. Not like I ever read any of those anyways. Hopefully I will be able to keep my yahoo account relatively clean. Already I'm getting some spam from who knows where, but so far it's been much more bearable than UIUC was.
But the thing I'll actually miss most is my Olivia folder, a collection of about 100-200 messages that we wrote in the past few years. The first one dates back to September of 2000, more than half a year before we officially started dating. Back then, we pretty much just argued about Britney Spears, replying maybe once every couple days but going back and forth consistently for a long time. Since we went to different schools, our relationship was basically limited to these emails for well over a year, other than the occasional phone conversation or hanging out on some weekends (almost never alone, though). Looking back, it's amazing to me that we became such close friends over this time, in spite of the distance separating us. The moral is, don't underestimate the power of email and the "meant to be" factor when considering relationships. Anyways, before I share too many personal details about me and Olivia on this public blog, I better stop.
Just last week when I was at Champaign for the Expo, I was impressed that I could still login to the Union and EWS labs, but chances are that those are probably deactivated now too. My ties to the University are all but completely severed. I can't use IMPE anymore, get discounts for football games, or shoot pool at the Union for student rates. Good thing I can still flash my I-Card at movie theaters for a while, it will hopefully be at least 10 years before I look older, have a beer gut and gray hairs. Also this past week, I got my deposit check back for my apartment and money for our sublease from my roomie. Bye-bye 312 at 6th and Healey Green Balconies for good.
It's ok though, maybe I can live vicariously as a student through my sister and ask her to use her Student status to download McAfee VirusScan updates for free. Strange that I don't happen to notice these types of little privileges college students get until I'm no longer a college student. Oh well, life goes on and there goes yet another example.
Monday, September 16, 2002
Wedding
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
I was at a wedding and reception over the weekend, which was probably the first real wedding I have ever been to (other than when I was really little). It was a good wedding, I think most people had a good time and it was pretty well done. Now I know weddings are a lot of work to plan, but still I gotta say that I was at least a little bit surprised by just how much time, money, and effort it must have taken to prepare for the wedding. And that now I am a little afraid for the day that I eventually get married. They show your embarrassing baby pictures, you gotta kiss the bride every time people start tapping their glass with a fork, and worst of all, you gotta get up and dance a lot.
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not a dancer. Mostly because I am uncoordinated, and being tall and skinny makes me look even more awkward. See, I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it, which makes me a worse dancer, and ends up making me enjoy it even less. You see how it goes.
Anyways, I was just thinking how it will probably be many years before I get the chance to go to another wedding. It seems like almost all of my friends either just got out of a relationship or weren't seriously dating anybody to begin with. The only reason I even got to go to this wedding was because Olivia was a bridesmaid and I was her "date." It's all good though, that means my boys won't be tied down as family men anytime soon and we can still hang.
I think the only person who blinks more in pictures than me is Olivia. Seriously, that girl's eyes are closed more of the time than open. And if you happen to try to take a picture of us two, chances are high that either one of us (or both) will blink. The chances skyrocket further if a flash is used. You can practically bet on it.
I hate wearing a suit and tie. Ties make my neck stiff and sweaty. And suits, they make me feel like I am some sort of Japanese businessman or something. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how I feel. Anyways, when I'm wearing a suit, I am so afraid to spill anything on it, because I am too lazy to take things to the dry cleaners. And am I the only person who can't tell the difference between suits? Single-breasted, double-breasted, Armani or not, 3 buttons or 4, black/navy/gray/brown/green, it all seems the same to me. Same with tuxes. At least women's dresses are more creative in style.
One thing I love, though, is wrinkle-free shirts. 30% cotton, 70% polyester, 0% ironing for this lazy boy. From now on, I am buying exclusively wrinkle-free items. Wrinkle-free T-shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and maybe for Olivia's birthday, I will get her some wrinkle-free shoes. haha
Open bars are cool, but they are never really open bar because you should still tip. That's ok, it's a lot better than paying like 8 bucks for a rum & coke or 5 for a bottle of beer. If it weren't for a silly "wedding reception" going on, I might have just planted myself by the bar all night.
Being a DJ seems like kind of a cool job, but it's probably only fun for like the first 2 or 3 times you do it. After a while, it's gotta get pretty repetitive and annoying. I mean really, how many times can you hear Y-M-C-A before you absolutely flip out? Oh by the way, when the DJ came to our table and asked for requests, I did NOT ask him to play any Britney Spears songs. The little flower girl at our table took care of that. Nice eh.
The funniest thing (in my opinion) that happened at the reception was when the bride threw the bouquet and the groom threw the garter. Of course, the bouquet was snatched up quickly, but the garter landed right in the middle of the crowd of guys. All of us just kind of backed off like it was kryptonite or something, until the little ringbearer boy picked it up. I guess none of us is getting married for a while, but it's all good cause it doesn't seem like any of the guys really wants to get married anytime soon.
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