At the Movies
It seems like I have been watching a lot more movies the past couple years than before. Watching movies is almost like a way of life now, that I wonder what people used to do before movies were so popular, when there were no AMC 30 screen theaters, no student discounts, and when high school kids still spent their time studying and doing homework.
Well on the news the other day, they were talking about how the movie industry set another record high in revenue for 2002, breaking the record set in 2001 by a big margin. So I guess I am not the only one who has been watching more movies lately.
One thing I wonder though: is it just me, or do movie previews seem much lamer these days? Almost all of the previews I have seen lately kind of really suck. They don't give me much to look forward to. Except maybe for the movie with DMX and Jet Li. That preview was so good that I don't even remember the name of the movie. But I do know it comes out Feb. 28th. Hopefully DMX is in this movie more than he was in Romeo Must Die. When he got shot in that movie, it was one of the all time biggest "WTF" moments I have ever experienced in any movie.
Anyways, my plan for this blog was to give some reviews on the movies I've watched most recently, within a couple weeks. I'm not a professional critic but here is my take on the following flicks:
About Schmidt
A lot of people haven't heard anything at all about this movie, including myself, up until 2 weeks ago. It's nice to go into a theater and not know what to expect of what you are about to watch, unless of course the movie ends up sucking really bad regardless of expectations. But this one was pretty good. It's basically about an old guy dealing with life after retirement and after his wife dies. Played by Jack Nicholson, who is hilarious. I have a renewed sense of respect for his acting abilities after watching this movie.
There was one really unfortunate part of the movie, which was the scene involving the mom from the Waterboy and the hot tub.
Other than that, it was a good movie to make you think, kind of like the stuff I wrote on life a while ago in this blog. I learned two major lessons from this film:
1. It doesn't matter if you are a 60 year old guy who can retire comfortably after a long career in the insurance industry, or a 6 year old orphan boy in Africa who is malnourished and probably suffering from a load of diseases. Everyone has problems, "it's-all-relative". So in the end, it's how you deal with your problems that actually makes one life different from another.
2. The world waits for no one. Sometimes I think life would be great if you could freeze time and have nothing ever change. But this is impossible. People change, situations change, very few things stay the same over time. With this in mind, we shouldn't be wasting time trying to control our surroundings, we should learn to take things as they come without putting too much stock in the future.
Lord of the Rings - Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers
Finally I got to watch these movies, the first on DVD and the second at the theater. One thing I've always wondered is, what was it like 20-25 years ago when the original Star Wars movies were coming out? I don't think LOTR is quite as huge, but it has to be pretty close, in terms of the excitement and hype generated.
And surprisingly, these movies actually live up to the hype. The story is good, of course, but more than that, I don't know if I have ever been so impressed with the visuals of a movie as in LOTR. Maybe it wasn't the most technologically advanced special effects, but watching the movie in the theater is one of those experiences you will probably have to see for yourself to understand what I'm saying. Watching it reminds me of some of the parts in Crouching Tiger, when the music, the scenery and the plot all fit together seamlessly and it really feels like it's more than just another movie on the big screen.
25th Hour
"A Spike Lee Joint" Why does he call it that anyways? Do people actually think that's cool? How many good Spike Lee Joints can you think of? I'm sure there's probably a couple, but when I hear his name, the first thing I usually think of isn't awesome movies. It's those old Nike commercials with Jordan and Mars Blackman.
Well, I didn't really see this movie cause it was directed by Spike Lee. More because I respect Edward Norton's abilities, and also because Nina and Vira said it was supposed to be good. So, in spite of Anna Paquin's skankiness, I had pretty high expectations for this movie going in, and I came out only partly satisfied.
It was one of those movies that is supposed to make you think, which is good. Basically, it's about Edward Norton's last day before he has to go to jail for dealing drugs. After the movie, I thought it was funny that P and Greg said "it's just kind of like how you feel the day before you have to go back to work, after a vacation or something, except worse." Yeah, worse in that you would have to worry about being raped by 300 pound criminals, not just having to wake up earlier.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is also in the movie. I can't think of what other movies I have seen him in, but all I gotta say is, he just plain looks like a pedophile. I mean, maybe he is the most normal guy around, but if I had a daughter, I'd make sure to keep her away from that man.
Overall, not a bad movie. Could've been better, could've been worse. I still like Edward Norton, he is one of my favorite actors/actresses of all time, up there with Harrison Ford, Macaulay Culkin, Gwyneth, and Britney Spears.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Thursday, January 09, 2003
A Day In The Life
Work - Today was pretty much like any other day at work, except I got my clearance from the Department of Defense. Now I can officially authorize and handle "Secret" material. It's a weird feeling, kind of like an angel getting his wings, except it's me getting my 2 stars, and also I didn't do anything to earn them. Other than not joining a terrorist organization or plotting the violent overthrow of the United States government.
Woodfield - I had to stop by Woodfield to exchange/return a scarf and gloves for my sister. The stuff was from J. Crew, but for some reason my sister put it in a Express bag. So since I wasn't really paying attention, I just went straight to Express. I was supposed to look to see if there were any of that style of gloves to exchange (cause the ones she got had a hole in them), and if not, I was instructed to return them.
Of course, I am almost never in Express, and when I am, it's usually with a girl. I knew it would feel weird to be walking around that store by myself, but I seriously felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb, like I was naked or something. And as I had no idea where the gloves might be located, I decided to ask one of the chicks working there. She pointed to the back left corner and said "go all the way to the wall, then they will be on your right. I looked at the back left corner, and noted that it was all underwear. "Hmmm...." I thought to myself, is she trying to make me look dumb by sending me to bra and thongs section?
But I went anyways, and the gloves ended up being kind of where she pointed, but not exactly. I was kind of pissed at that chick because it's hard to be looking around an area surrounded by bras and stuff without feeling weird. Maybe I am just immature, but still.
Anyways, I didn't find the same pair of gloves so I got in line to return the ones I brought. I waited for at least 10 minutes in line, and when I finally got to the counter and gave the girl the gloves and receipt, she looked at it for a second, then looked at me funny, and said "uhh these are from J. Crew." Sweet, didn't I look like a dumbass. And no wonder they didn't have that pair of gloves. I was in the thong section feeling red for nothing. So I was like "my bad" and scurried out of that store as fast as I could to head to J. Crew.
Finally I went to J. Crew. They didn't have the gloves either, so I returned them and put it back on my sister's J. Crew card. One stupid thing I noticed is that I still had to sign, and that she briefly glanced at my sister's signature on the card and compared it to my signature before giving it back to me. Since I signed my own name, there's no way the two signatures could have even remotely matched, but I guess she was already in the motion of giving me back my card so who cares. Why should I have to sign anyways, I'm putting the credit back on that freaking card anyways, it's not like it's going to me.
Dave & Busters - A friend from church is moving to Cali for a job, so we had a little dinner and party for her at D&B's. I used to think it was annoying that they were strict about people being 21 and over, or escorted and whatnot. But, now I think it is nice to not be surrounded by punk high school kids whenever I go somewhere. I swear, every place I go there are these loud annoying high schoolers, whether it's the movie theater, mall, Streets of Woodfield, Great America, EVERY DAMN PLACE.
I have to wonder, were we this obnoxious 5 or 6 years ago? I think the answer is a clear and emphatic no. In high school:
1) I was always doing homework
2) I didn't have a car until senior year
3) I didn't have money to burn
Now you see all these kids putting turbo kits on their Acura RSX's and racing around town till 2 in the morning. WHAT THE FLUX IS GOING ON.
Another nice thing about D&B's (in Addison) is that it has Daytona USA, the original. That is one of the best arcade games ever made, without question in my mind. Not many places still carry Daytona.
Home - Came home, my mom and dad were watching Lord of the Rings which me and Olivia rented last Sunday but havent returned yet. I thought that was funny, my mom and dad watching Lord of the Rings. That really doesn't seem like their type of movie.
Read some blogs before writing this one. Since Stork was writing about entropy, that reminds me of something that I was thinking about once. The concept of entropy basically says that things always move from a state of order to disorder, never the opposite unless energy is added to the system. The most common example to illustrate this is the order of your bedroom, it only gets messier and messier, not cleaner and cleaner, unless you expend energy to clean it.
This is one of the fundamental laws of thermodynamics (I forget which one exactly), which all scientists pretty much agree on. Modern science also subscribes to the theory of evolution as the origin of life, over the concept of divine creation. Now, if you think about it, the concept of entropy really should dispel the idea that out of nothing (or a pool of "life soup"), came bacteria, then multi-celled organisms, then plants and animals and eventually humans, all by the process of evolution alone.
Instead, one would have to think that some outside force must have been working and putting energy into the process of evolution to make it work. Remember, the laws of entropy require that disorderly states do not become orderly without energy being put in to the system.
My conclusion: scientists and supposed scholars contradict themselves when trying to disprove the existence of God by "scientific logic." I believe in the validity of evolution as a process, but I do not believe it means life came out of nowhere. Look at how complex human beings are, not only physically but also mentally. And even more complex and intriguing is the spiritual side, which I have no doubt exists in all of us. Can a series of random events, uncontrolled mutations of DNA really result in what we are today, even after billions or trillions of years? No, there must be some force acting that has driven us to become the highly developed species walking around right now. Basic thermodynamic laws tell us this much.
Hopefully, I didn't lose anyone there in my logic. It makes sense to me, but maybe only because I am dead tired.
Work - Today was pretty much like any other day at work, except I got my clearance from the Department of Defense. Now I can officially authorize and handle "Secret" material. It's a weird feeling, kind of like an angel getting his wings, except it's me getting my 2 stars, and also I didn't do anything to earn them. Other than not joining a terrorist organization or plotting the violent overthrow of the United States government.
Woodfield - I had to stop by Woodfield to exchange/return a scarf and gloves for my sister. The stuff was from J. Crew, but for some reason my sister put it in a Express bag. So since I wasn't really paying attention, I just went straight to Express. I was supposed to look to see if there were any of that style of gloves to exchange (cause the ones she got had a hole in them), and if not, I was instructed to return them.
Of course, I am almost never in Express, and when I am, it's usually with a girl. I knew it would feel weird to be walking around that store by myself, but I seriously felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb, like I was naked or something. And as I had no idea where the gloves might be located, I decided to ask one of the chicks working there. She pointed to the back left corner and said "go all the way to the wall, then they will be on your right. I looked at the back left corner, and noted that it was all underwear. "Hmmm...." I thought to myself, is she trying to make me look dumb by sending me to bra and thongs section?
But I went anyways, and the gloves ended up being kind of where she pointed, but not exactly. I was kind of pissed at that chick because it's hard to be looking around an area surrounded by bras and stuff without feeling weird. Maybe I am just immature, but still.
Anyways, I didn't find the same pair of gloves so I got in line to return the ones I brought. I waited for at least 10 minutes in line, and when I finally got to the counter and gave the girl the gloves and receipt, she looked at it for a second, then looked at me funny, and said "uhh these are from J. Crew." Sweet, didn't I look like a dumbass. And no wonder they didn't have that pair of gloves. I was in the thong section feeling red for nothing. So I was like "my bad" and scurried out of that store as fast as I could to head to J. Crew.
Finally I went to J. Crew. They didn't have the gloves either, so I returned them and put it back on my sister's J. Crew card. One stupid thing I noticed is that I still had to sign, and that she briefly glanced at my sister's signature on the card and compared it to my signature before giving it back to me. Since I signed my own name, there's no way the two signatures could have even remotely matched, but I guess she was already in the motion of giving me back my card so who cares. Why should I have to sign anyways, I'm putting the credit back on that freaking card anyways, it's not like it's going to me.
Dave & Busters - A friend from church is moving to Cali for a job, so we had a little dinner and party for her at D&B's. I used to think it was annoying that they were strict about people being 21 and over, or escorted and whatnot. But, now I think it is nice to not be surrounded by punk high school kids whenever I go somewhere. I swear, every place I go there are these loud annoying high schoolers, whether it's the movie theater, mall, Streets of Woodfield, Great America, EVERY DAMN PLACE.
I have to wonder, were we this obnoxious 5 or 6 years ago? I think the answer is a clear and emphatic no. In high school:
1) I was always doing homework
2) I didn't have a car until senior year
3) I didn't have money to burn
Now you see all these kids putting turbo kits on their Acura RSX's and racing around town till 2 in the morning. WHAT THE FLUX IS GOING ON.
Another nice thing about D&B's (in Addison) is that it has Daytona USA, the original. That is one of the best arcade games ever made, without question in my mind. Not many places still carry Daytona.
Home - Came home, my mom and dad were watching Lord of the Rings which me and Olivia rented last Sunday but havent returned yet. I thought that was funny, my mom and dad watching Lord of the Rings. That really doesn't seem like their type of movie.
Read some blogs before writing this one. Since Stork was writing about entropy, that reminds me of something that I was thinking about once. The concept of entropy basically says that things always move from a state of order to disorder, never the opposite unless energy is added to the system. The most common example to illustrate this is the order of your bedroom, it only gets messier and messier, not cleaner and cleaner, unless you expend energy to clean it.
This is one of the fundamental laws of thermodynamics (I forget which one exactly), which all scientists pretty much agree on. Modern science also subscribes to the theory of evolution as the origin of life, over the concept of divine creation. Now, if you think about it, the concept of entropy really should dispel the idea that out of nothing (or a pool of "life soup"), came bacteria, then multi-celled organisms, then plants and animals and eventually humans, all by the process of evolution alone.
Instead, one would have to think that some outside force must have been working and putting energy into the process of evolution to make it work. Remember, the laws of entropy require that disorderly states do not become orderly without energy being put in to the system.
My conclusion: scientists and supposed scholars contradict themselves when trying to disprove the existence of God by "scientific logic." I believe in the validity of evolution as a process, but I do not believe it means life came out of nowhere. Look at how complex human beings are, not only physically but also mentally. And even more complex and intriguing is the spiritual side, which I have no doubt exists in all of us. Can a series of random events, uncontrolled mutations of DNA really result in what we are today, even after billions or trillions of years? No, there must be some force acting that has driven us to become the highly developed species walking around right now. Basic thermodynamic laws tell us this much.
Hopefully, I didn't lose anyone there in my logic. It makes sense to me, but maybe only because I am dead tired.
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Insomnia
I think one of the worst feelings to experience is not being able to fall asleep. It drives me nuts that I can be so tired throughout a whole day, struggling to keep my eyes open at work, then when I finally get to my bed, I lie there for like 40 minutes, wide awake.
It's been a long time since I have slept well, and I wish I knew why. One thing is that I seem to always be thinking about stuff. I try to clear my head, but so many things are on my mind.
They're not always deep or stressful thoughts, but all kinds of stuff clutters my brain. I get excited that baseball spring training is only a couple months away. I think about a game of Starcraft and what I could have done to play better. I think about work, about friends, about Olivia, about my future.
Sometimes people ask me how I always have weird ideas for blogs. Or, how I always seem to write so much. Well, I think the answer to both is that my blog is just a reflection of my life. Throughout the day, I've been spending a lot of time in personal thought, some of it is by choice, other times, I wish I could just relax and not think about anything. It's not like I sit around thinking "what should I write for my blog?" but more that I have so many random thoughts and the most accessible outlet these days for me is this blog.
The past year has been a tough year, among other things. And after talking to some of my friends, it seems that they have gone through (and may still be going through) tough times of their own. In my life, I don't think I really ever went through any identity crisis or anything when I became a teenager, or when I went through high school and college. As I have written before, the first 21 and a half years of my life were somewhat of a honeymoon for me, in that everything was laid out for me and that there were few things for me to doubt.
But right now, I think I'm going through maybe a mini-identity crisis. No, I'm not gonna quit my job and go pursue a life of painting or something. But I often wonder, where do I stand and where am I going? I've graduated college and found a job, now what?
I used to look up to people in my position and say to myself, "that is where I want to be. That is what I work hard for." And here I am, having essentially reached my goal. Who do I look up to now? What should I work hard for?
Even though I still admire my dad and respect him for being much older and wiser than me, he's no longer the invincible master of all knowledge and undisputed authority in everything. A lot of people see this earlier in life, but the realization that my parents are as imperfectly human as anyone else has only struck me in recent times.
So this is a time for me where the one feeling that seems to blanket all of my thoughts is one of ambivalence. For example, I feel too old to be buying clothes from places like Abercrombie, but I'm not ready for shopping at Marshall Fields or Nordstrom for stuff my mom or dad would wear. I feel like I should be past the college habits of sleeping late, going out to bars, etc., but at the same time I feel too young to leave that all behind now and start going to theater and musicals instead, drinking brandy instead of beer and listening to Kenny G and Celine Dion instead of Nelly and Britney Spears.
I don't think I want to be dating "just for fun" like in high school or college, but marriage and settling down with kids feels like it should be at least a few years away. And I know it's only a matter of time before I will move out from my mom and dad's house, but on second thought, am I really ready to live on my own, alone in this world? Scary.
As always, I've wandered far from my original topic. And of course, I don't really have any answers or solutions for myself. I'm just babbling here. At least now you know that I can't fall asleep, and maybe you know a little bit about why. But yeah, it sucks.
I think one of the worst feelings to experience is not being able to fall asleep. It drives me nuts that I can be so tired throughout a whole day, struggling to keep my eyes open at work, then when I finally get to my bed, I lie there for like 40 minutes, wide awake.
It's been a long time since I have slept well, and I wish I knew why. One thing is that I seem to always be thinking about stuff. I try to clear my head, but so many things are on my mind.
They're not always deep or stressful thoughts, but all kinds of stuff clutters my brain. I get excited that baseball spring training is only a couple months away. I think about a game of Starcraft and what I could have done to play better. I think about work, about friends, about Olivia, about my future.
Sometimes people ask me how I always have weird ideas for blogs. Or, how I always seem to write so much. Well, I think the answer to both is that my blog is just a reflection of my life. Throughout the day, I've been spending a lot of time in personal thought, some of it is by choice, other times, I wish I could just relax and not think about anything. It's not like I sit around thinking "what should I write for my blog?" but more that I have so many random thoughts and the most accessible outlet these days for me is this blog.
The past year has been a tough year, among other things. And after talking to some of my friends, it seems that they have gone through (and may still be going through) tough times of their own. In my life, I don't think I really ever went through any identity crisis or anything when I became a teenager, or when I went through high school and college. As I have written before, the first 21 and a half years of my life were somewhat of a honeymoon for me, in that everything was laid out for me and that there were few things for me to doubt.
But right now, I think I'm going through maybe a mini-identity crisis. No, I'm not gonna quit my job and go pursue a life of painting or something. But I often wonder, where do I stand and where am I going? I've graduated college and found a job, now what?
I used to look up to people in my position and say to myself, "that is where I want to be. That is what I work hard for." And here I am, having essentially reached my goal. Who do I look up to now? What should I work hard for?
Even though I still admire my dad and respect him for being much older and wiser than me, he's no longer the invincible master of all knowledge and undisputed authority in everything. A lot of people see this earlier in life, but the realization that my parents are as imperfectly human as anyone else has only struck me in recent times.
So this is a time for me where the one feeling that seems to blanket all of my thoughts is one of ambivalence. For example, I feel too old to be buying clothes from places like Abercrombie, but I'm not ready for shopping at Marshall Fields or Nordstrom for stuff my mom or dad would wear. I feel like I should be past the college habits of sleeping late, going out to bars, etc., but at the same time I feel too young to leave that all behind now and start going to theater and musicals instead, drinking brandy instead of beer and listening to Kenny G and Celine Dion instead of Nelly and Britney Spears.
I don't think I want to be dating "just for fun" like in high school or college, but marriage and settling down with kids feels like it should be at least a few years away. And I know it's only a matter of time before I will move out from my mom and dad's house, but on second thought, am I really ready to live on my own, alone in this world? Scary.
As always, I've wandered far from my original topic. And of course, I don't really have any answers or solutions for myself. I'm just babbling here. At least now you know that I can't fall asleep, and maybe you know a little bit about why. But yeah, it sucks.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
New Years Resolutions
I didn't notice very many people talking about their 2003 resolutions on their blogs/xangas. Even though I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, I am usually kind of interested to hear what kind of stuff people come up with and see how long it lasts for them.
Maybe everyone is lacking the creativity to think of their own resolutions these days, so I have a few suggestions for all my readers, as a special dudo509 blogspot treat. Feel free to print out any or all of the following and tape them on your wall or whatever, if you decide to take on a resolution listed below.
DISCLAIMER: These are only suggestions! Adopt and use at your own discretion and risk. I take no responsibility if you get lung cancer, lose your job, or just plain turn into a fat smelly sack after following any of these resolutions.
1. Show up later to work each day - Time is of the essence, they say, and I couldn't agree more. My time is precious to me; the more I have, the more I can sleep, play Starcraft, or watch TV. So this resolution is designed to help me maximize the time I have to myself by shaving off unneccessary time spent at the job.
The first thing I'll try is to arrive 6 minutes later each day. Simple math tells me that this alone will save me half an hour per week. Now, if I should be so bold, maybe the next step will be to show up 6 minutes late and leave 6 minutes early, saving me a grand total of 1 hour/wk. Eventually, I might have the gongs to make it up to 12 minutes each way. That amounts to 2 hours of savings which I could use for any of the above activities listed! It all adds up, as you can see.
2. Watch more TV - You know, that television set downstairs has been pretty neglected these days. Sure, I already spend all weekend watching football, not to mention Monday nights, and I also watch ESPN and ESPN2 pretty often too. But unfortunately, this leaves out plenty of other quality programming. For starters, it's a pretty disturbing thought to me when I ponder how many Jennifer Lopez and B2K videos I've probably been missing lately, just by failing to watch enough MTV.
Well, all that's gonna change starting right now. I'm gonna kick my TV-watching repertoire up a big notch across the board, whether it's MTV, VH1, BET, ESPN Classic, or Comedy Central we're talking about, as well as the basic channels like ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, and the WB.
Since I won't be able to catch everything, I'm gonna first try to focus on those reality dating shows. You know, like Dismissed, Elimi-Date, The 5th Wheel, stuff like that. Those shows rock. And after that, I guess I'll just squeeze in whatever else I can.
3. Eat more fast food - Throughout the years, it's always been a constant struggle to obtain enough calories in my daily diet. No matter how many fruits and vegetables or lean white meat I eat, it inevitably seems as if I'm just barely meeting the requirements set by my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). This has become more than an annoyance in lifestyle, it's simply unacceptable.
So, after doing a little bit of research, I have found the solution: fast food. Consider the fact that most people's BMR falls in the range of 1000-2000 food calories, depending on weight and exercise. Now, if you get a Big Mac and large fry at McDonalds, thats like 1000 right there. If you Super-size that shiznit and add a Coke, you're pretty much set for the day, right? For me, I resolve to eat such a meal twice a day, just to make sure I'm getting enough calories, but you could probably still get by with just one of these meals per day, and go back to your vegetable and fruits crap for your other meals to patch up the rest.
The only problem is, I might get sick of eating McDonalds. Well, I guess if this happens, there's always Burger King, KFC, Taco Bell, White Castle, Wendy's, etc. Just an endless assortment of similar restaurants surrounds us all. What a great country we live in!
4. Shower less - The utilities bill has been steadily growing the past few months, so starting this year, I've resolved to do something about it. Effective right now, I am gonna cut my showering frequency in half. Think about how much water we waste by taking unneccessary showers, and how much you could potentially save just by doing this one simple act.
But the savings don't end there. Half as many showers means half as much shampoo, conditioner, and soap used. It also mean you change your clothes half as frequently, meaning you will save yourself from doing laundry nearly as often as you do now. You see, the hidden savings are plentiful. It's like a chain reaction, one good deed begets another. If you've ever seen Pay It Forward, you probably know exactly what I mean. (I've never seen that movie, but I'm just guessing here)
5. Take up smoking - This year, I'd like to pick up the habit of cigarettes. I've gone too long in life without that sweet nectar they call nicotine. Reasonably, within a year I should be up to at least a pack a day, if not more. Once I become a more advanced and experienced smoker, my next resolution may be to start smoking weed. After that, who knows? Perhaps one day you'll see me on the street as a crackhead, if all goes well.
6. Drive more aggressively - 1 hour and 40 minutes is way too much time to be spending on the road each day. By cutting more people off, accelerating more forcefully, and using the ofter overlooked path they call the "shoulder" to pass traffic in rush hour, I hope to cut my daily commute time to about 1 hour and 38 minutes.
But time saved is not the only benefit. Driving like a jackass will make me look cooler and more dangerous, which in turn attracts more fine women. I'm thinking, if I can follow through with my resolution to take up smoking, I can also smoke in the car and toss cigarettes out the window while I'm on the road, in order to increase my cool factor even more. Maybe on lucky days, the cigarette will end up flying into the face of a toddler playing on the side of the road and burn him. Won't I be the ultimate bad boy then?
You might say that overly aggressive driving leads to decreased safety. Well, that may be true, but according to a wise man named Greg, "Being safer is good, but not as good as looking cool. A good motto for life." haha
7. Use more curse words - Will Smith doesn't cuss in his songs, but Eminem does. Now look who's more successful? It's easy to see from this example that the more swearing you do, the cooler and more popular you will become. So, this year will be the year that I beceome as nasty as I wanna be. I'm quite confident that I can keep this resolution, when I think about how simple it is to add profanity to my normal everyday conversation. For example, "I'm gonna return the video" could easily become "I'm gonna return the F-ing video." See how that works? It just takes some practice.
For now, I'm just gonna focus on expanding my vocabulary by the basic 4-letter words, but someday I hope to incorporate and more complex expressions of vulgarity. After that, maybe I'll even throw in some racial/ethnic slurs here and there as well. Baby steps, though, baby steps.
I didn't notice very many people talking about their 2003 resolutions on their blogs/xangas. Even though I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, I am usually kind of interested to hear what kind of stuff people come up with and see how long it lasts for them.
Maybe everyone is lacking the creativity to think of their own resolutions these days, so I have a few suggestions for all my readers, as a special dudo509 blogspot treat. Feel free to print out any or all of the following and tape them on your wall or whatever, if you decide to take on a resolution listed below.
DISCLAIMER: These are only suggestions! Adopt and use at your own discretion and risk. I take no responsibility if you get lung cancer, lose your job, or just plain turn into a fat smelly sack after following any of these resolutions.
1. Show up later to work each day - Time is of the essence, they say, and I couldn't agree more. My time is precious to me; the more I have, the more I can sleep, play Starcraft, or watch TV. So this resolution is designed to help me maximize the time I have to myself by shaving off unneccessary time spent at the job.
The first thing I'll try is to arrive 6 minutes later each day. Simple math tells me that this alone will save me half an hour per week. Now, if I should be so bold, maybe the next step will be to show up 6 minutes late and leave 6 minutes early, saving me a grand total of 1 hour/wk. Eventually, I might have the gongs to make it up to 12 minutes each way. That amounts to 2 hours of savings which I could use for any of the above activities listed! It all adds up, as you can see.
2. Watch more TV - You know, that television set downstairs has been pretty neglected these days. Sure, I already spend all weekend watching football, not to mention Monday nights, and I also watch ESPN and ESPN2 pretty often too. But unfortunately, this leaves out plenty of other quality programming. For starters, it's a pretty disturbing thought to me when I ponder how many Jennifer Lopez and B2K videos I've probably been missing lately, just by failing to watch enough MTV.
Well, all that's gonna change starting right now. I'm gonna kick my TV-watching repertoire up a big notch across the board, whether it's MTV, VH1, BET, ESPN Classic, or Comedy Central we're talking about, as well as the basic channels like ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, and the WB.
Since I won't be able to catch everything, I'm gonna first try to focus on those reality dating shows. You know, like Dismissed, Elimi-Date, The 5th Wheel, stuff like that. Those shows rock. And after that, I guess I'll just squeeze in whatever else I can.
3. Eat more fast food - Throughout the years, it's always been a constant struggle to obtain enough calories in my daily diet. No matter how many fruits and vegetables or lean white meat I eat, it inevitably seems as if I'm just barely meeting the requirements set by my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). This has become more than an annoyance in lifestyle, it's simply unacceptable.
So, after doing a little bit of research, I have found the solution: fast food. Consider the fact that most people's BMR falls in the range of 1000-2000 food calories, depending on weight and exercise. Now, if you get a Big Mac and large fry at McDonalds, thats like 1000 right there. If you Super-size that shiznit and add a Coke, you're pretty much set for the day, right? For me, I resolve to eat such a meal twice a day, just to make sure I'm getting enough calories, but you could probably still get by with just one of these meals per day, and go back to your vegetable and fruits crap for your other meals to patch up the rest.
The only problem is, I might get sick of eating McDonalds. Well, I guess if this happens, there's always Burger King, KFC, Taco Bell, White Castle, Wendy's, etc. Just an endless assortment of similar restaurants surrounds us all. What a great country we live in!
4. Shower less - The utilities bill has been steadily growing the past few months, so starting this year, I've resolved to do something about it. Effective right now, I am gonna cut my showering frequency in half. Think about how much water we waste by taking unneccessary showers, and how much you could potentially save just by doing this one simple act.
But the savings don't end there. Half as many showers means half as much shampoo, conditioner, and soap used. It also mean you change your clothes half as frequently, meaning you will save yourself from doing laundry nearly as often as you do now. You see, the hidden savings are plentiful. It's like a chain reaction, one good deed begets another. If you've ever seen Pay It Forward, you probably know exactly what I mean. (I've never seen that movie, but I'm just guessing here)
5. Take up smoking - This year, I'd like to pick up the habit of cigarettes. I've gone too long in life without that sweet nectar they call nicotine. Reasonably, within a year I should be up to at least a pack a day, if not more. Once I become a more advanced and experienced smoker, my next resolution may be to start smoking weed. After that, who knows? Perhaps one day you'll see me on the street as a crackhead, if all goes well.
6. Drive more aggressively - 1 hour and 40 minutes is way too much time to be spending on the road each day. By cutting more people off, accelerating more forcefully, and using the ofter overlooked path they call the "shoulder" to pass traffic in rush hour, I hope to cut my daily commute time to about 1 hour and 38 minutes.
But time saved is not the only benefit. Driving like a jackass will make me look cooler and more dangerous, which in turn attracts more fine women. I'm thinking, if I can follow through with my resolution to take up smoking, I can also smoke in the car and toss cigarettes out the window while I'm on the road, in order to increase my cool factor even more. Maybe on lucky days, the cigarette will end up flying into the face of a toddler playing on the side of the road and burn him. Won't I be the ultimate bad boy then?
You might say that overly aggressive driving leads to decreased safety. Well, that may be true, but according to a wise man named Greg, "Being safer is good, but not as good as looking cool. A good motto for life." haha
7. Use more curse words - Will Smith doesn't cuss in his songs, but Eminem does. Now look who's more successful? It's easy to see from this example that the more swearing you do, the cooler and more popular you will become. So, this year will be the year that I beceome as nasty as I wanna be. I'm quite confident that I can keep this resolution, when I think about how simple it is to add profanity to my normal everyday conversation. For example, "I'm gonna return the video" could easily become "I'm gonna return the F-ing video." See how that works? It just takes some practice.
For now, I'm just gonna focus on expanding my vocabulary by the basic 4-letter words, but someday I hope to incorporate and more complex expressions of vulgarity. After that, maybe I'll even throw in some racial/ethnic slurs here and there as well. Baby steps, though, baby steps.
Sunday, January 05, 2003
Weekend Update
This blog is dedicated to my 2 blog fans in the world. You know who you are.
I changed my oil on Saturday for the first time. This will be the first complaint I have about the G35. This car has a cover for the underbody for "protection and aerodynamic purposes." Which is fine, I guess. They even left a hole for the drain plug so people can change the oil without taking off the cover.
But for some reason, they didn't do the same for the oil filter. It's designed so that unless you are Stretch Armstrong or Gumby, there is no possible way to unscrew the filter and change to a new one. Trust me, I have a forearm full of scratches from trying.
And if you didn't know, it's pretty much expected that you change the filter every time you change the oil, it even says so in the manual. The manual gives you a whole step by step guide to changing the oil as "Do-it-yourself maintenance," and there is a part that says "If oil filter is to be changed, remove and replace it at this time. See later in 'Engine oil' for changing oil filter." So I found the section and guess what it said? "Contact your INFINITI retailer if replacement is required."
How awesome, eh. So did I give in and take it to the dealer? Hells no, that would be the loser way out. I ended up taking out about 15 screws so I could get that stupid cover off and change my oil filter. Took me a while, but I am proud of myself for this effort.
Later on that day, my homie Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray, and a fat ass J of some bubonic chronic that made me choke...
Actually, we just went to the Buzz. I think I am getting too old for this stuff. Sad, I know, but I really don't think I would ever go unless a lot of good friends were gonna be there.
A couple hours ago, my sister was heating up some oil to make popcorn and she left the stove running while she went upstairs. Meanwhile, I was watching High School Reunion on WGN (more on this show later). A couple minutes pass, and my sister comes down and she just goes "OHMYGOD", which makes me turn around and see that there is a pretty decently sized flame coming out of the popcorn pot.
At this point, my sis is like "whatdoidowhatdoido?!" and I was like, "cover it!" So she takes the lid, looks at the fire for a few seconds, then turns to me and goes "can you do it?" That look on her face was classic, if there wasn't a growing fire I would've pulled out my digital camera and taken a picture. Finally, I covered the pot and everything ended up ok. Except maybe the pot might not be usable anymore, we'll find out. She told me not to tell my mom what happened but I think my mom found out anyways.
Oh well, if you didn't like that story, you had to be there.
Ok, I don't want to make this blog too long so I will just say something quick about High School Reunion. It's a show where they hold a high school reunion at like a vacation house or something and film it like "Real World" or "Survivor." So they have all these characters and their descriptions like "the Tall Girl" or "The Nerd" or "The Bully." And of course some of them are looking to hook up with their old crushes and stuff. The first episode was pretty entertaining. Catch it on the WB Thursday, I recommend it.
I've said it before but I'll say it again: Jack's frozen sausage pizza rules. Tombstone drools.
This blog is dedicated to my 2 blog fans in the world. You know who you are.
I changed my oil on Saturday for the first time. This will be the first complaint I have about the G35. This car has a cover for the underbody for "protection and aerodynamic purposes." Which is fine, I guess. They even left a hole for the drain plug so people can change the oil without taking off the cover.
But for some reason, they didn't do the same for the oil filter. It's designed so that unless you are Stretch Armstrong or Gumby, there is no possible way to unscrew the filter and change to a new one. Trust me, I have a forearm full of scratches from trying.
And if you didn't know, it's pretty much expected that you change the filter every time you change the oil, it even says so in the manual. The manual gives you a whole step by step guide to changing the oil as "Do-it-yourself maintenance," and there is a part that says "If oil filter is to be changed, remove and replace it at this time. See later in 'Engine oil' for changing oil filter." So I found the section and guess what it said? "Contact your INFINITI retailer if replacement is required."
How awesome, eh. So did I give in and take it to the dealer? Hells no, that would be the loser way out. I ended up taking out about 15 screws so I could get that stupid cover off and change my oil filter. Took me a while, but I am proud of myself for this effort.
Later on that day, my homie Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray, and a fat ass J of some bubonic chronic that made me choke...
Actually, we just went to the Buzz. I think I am getting too old for this stuff. Sad, I know, but I really don't think I would ever go unless a lot of good friends were gonna be there.
A couple hours ago, my sister was heating up some oil to make popcorn and she left the stove running while she went upstairs. Meanwhile, I was watching High School Reunion on WGN (more on this show later). A couple minutes pass, and my sister comes down and she just goes "OHMYGOD", which makes me turn around and see that there is a pretty decently sized flame coming out of the popcorn pot.
At this point, my sis is like "whatdoidowhatdoido?!" and I was like, "cover it!" So she takes the lid, looks at the fire for a few seconds, then turns to me and goes "can you do it?" That look on her face was classic, if there wasn't a growing fire I would've pulled out my digital camera and taken a picture. Finally, I covered the pot and everything ended up ok. Except maybe the pot might not be usable anymore, we'll find out. She told me not to tell my mom what happened but I think my mom found out anyways.
Oh well, if you didn't like that story, you had to be there.
Ok, I don't want to make this blog too long so I will just say something quick about High School Reunion. It's a show where they hold a high school reunion at like a vacation house or something and film it like "Real World" or "Survivor." So they have all these characters and their descriptions like "the Tall Girl" or "The Nerd" or "The Bully." And of course some of them are looking to hook up with their old crushes and stuff. The first episode was pretty entertaining. Catch it on the WB Thursday, I recommend it.
I've said it before but I'll say it again: Jack's frozen sausage pizza rules. Tombstone drools.
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