Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Contest

Okay, I have zero entries for my contest and only 2 people have even expressed interest in entering. Maybe it's time to spice up the pot. Understandably, my prizes aren't that great. Anyone can buy you a drink, it's been done before in other contests anyways. So I thought, what can I offer that no one else can? Sad, but the best answer I could come up with was a kiss on the cheek from me.

Now, I know that very few people are gonna enter a contest just for the potential of a small peck on the cheek, but I can't really give anything more than that or Olivia will get mad.

Fortunately, today I got 2 new prize options which might lure more entries. Option #1 is a 2-baseball card set I picked up from the bottom of the box of Honeycomb that I've been eating since senior year, the days of Pact. The cards feature 2 of the best catchers in Major League Baseball of recent years: Mike Piazza and Jason Kendall. They are in mint condition, still in original plastic wrap.

The other is a Northrop Grumman little clock/calculator combo, which management gave all the engineers today in honor of N.E.W. (see post from 2 days ago). It's pretty snazzy actually, it folds up for compact convenient transport. There is a light button, alarm feature, stopwatch, plus the fashionable Northrop Gumman Electronic Systems Logo adorns the cover. A picture follows:

Prize

And yes, I am willling to part with either one of the above mentioned prizes. If you can name a good amount of my favorite CDs, you earned it. Looking at the list I have, it's tough, I doubt anyone reading this knows me well enough to name them all. But I encourage you all to try.

Currently playing on my Winamp: 50 Cent & Nate Dogg - 21 Questions
Nate Dogg is awesome, but only when he's doing someone else's song. I don't think I know any solo Nate Dogg songs.

***

Ok, this was a cheap blog, so I will release the following short story I've written. Once again, it involves Starcraft, but written in a different style. It's kind of long. I don't know how well people will like my writing, but I have a couple other stories and maybe I will post those if this one is popular. Don't want people to think I'm too big of a nerd than they already do though.

Broodwar Adventures - Episode 1

It was a dark time in the land of Pittszergh. Minerals were scarce, Vespene Gas was nowhere to be found, and the few overlords that remained were weak and dying.

But to Harry Hydralisk, life was grand. His friends would always wonder how Harry could stay upbeat in such a bleak environment. Harry's father had skipped town when he was yet an egg, leaving his mother and older sister to raise young Harry and struggle to make ends meet.

It was a wonder that their family had made it this far, but even now they had to constantly worry about their next meal and fight for survival. In all practicality, Lurker College was gonna be out of the question for Harry, and he would likely end up being a normal patrol-lisk or worse yet, a front line Hydra in battle.

Still, none of this ever seemed to bother Harry, a strapping lad now in his mid-teens and feeling quite invincible. "Hakuna Matata", he'd always say. "It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's a problem free... philosophy.... Hakuna Matata".

For though he was still young, he understood that to be alive was to be lucky. Every day he'd see the starving, undeveloped larvae outside the hatcheries, and felt fortunate himself for what little that he had. Compared to them, he thought, what he had was a lot indeed.

Early one morning, Harry woke up and got ready for school. Today was a day he'd been waiting for weeks to arrive, because they were finally gonna learn how to burrow. He ate his breakfast quickly and headed out with his normal exuberant step.

"Make sure you bring your umbrella," said his mother, "weather.com says there's a chance of Psi Storm today."

"Oooo-kayyy", said Harry, who was already halfway out the Den. As much as he hated being babied by his mama, she was just looking out for him, and she was usually right. After all, she was older, wiser, and could still give him a solid whoopin if called for.

So Harry, with umbrella in hand, went on his way to school. The walk to Kerrigan High was about a 20 minute hike. Distance wise, it wasn't all that far, but it was a winding path filled with hills and curves. There was, however, a shortcut that could get him there in 10. The only problem was, that path would take him through a part of Protoss territory. His mother always warned him never to wander that way, which was indeed rather dangerous, although Harry knew of many schoolmates who took that route regularly without any trouble.

But this time, Harry wanted to be first to class and be in the front for burrow training, and, perhaps feeling a little extra spicy that day, he decided to ignore his mother's admonitions and take the shortcut anyways.

He was hardly a few steps into Protoss territory when a patrolling zealot spotted him and began to approach.

"Son of a Broodling!" he shouted, and immediately began to flee. He'd run his way through Protoss land to safety back in Pittszergh and its friendly sunken colonies yet. But the zealot gained all too rapidly, much to Harry's chagrin; this one had obviously undergone the leg upgrade.

In no time, Harry was overtaken and he would be forced to fight for his own survival. As a young healthy Hydralisk, Harry still had a chance of defeating the zealot, if he was lucky.

Unfortunately, by choosing to run first instead of fight, he had already forfeited what was perhaps his only advantage over the powerful zealot: range. Nevertheless, Harry quickly unleashed a fury of spines at the zealot, who was momentarily stunned by the onslaught but shrugged them off and began an assualt of his own.

The struggle continued for what seemed like hours, which were actually only mere seconds in battle. Harry's barrage of spines were gradually wearing down his opponent's plasma shields, but he was taking significant damage himself from the devastating psi blades. It soon became apparent that he was going to lose this battle if things continued the way they were going.

Suddenly, an thought struck: "use the umbrella, Harry!" said a voice, as if Obi-Wan Kenobi himself were in his head. Quickly, Harry unsheathed his umbrella and began using it to parry the Psi blades while continuing to spit his spines as before. Surprisingly, the umbrella withstood and absorbed the blows of the Psi blades easily, rendering them rather worthless.

The zealot, taken aback by the turn of events, saw that he was now outmatched and retreated from the fight. Harry, meanwhile, breathed a deep sigh of relief and wasted no time in taking the opportunity to run to school. Surely the zealot would soon return with more of its kind, and Harry wanted no part of that fight.

By the time he reached school, he was out of breath, though at least his battle wounds were all but healed. He looked at his watch: still 5 minutes early!

As Harry found a seat at the front, he glanced at the umbrella that saved his life and managed to crack a weak smile to himself at his little adventure. But some hard lessons had been learned that morning that he would never forget. Never wander through Protoss territory, always bring an umbrella, and above all else, listen to your mama!

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Thoughts By Joe Thousandaire (me)

Like 40 miillion other suckers in this country, I watched the end of Joe Millionaire last night. What a sweet ending. Couldn't have been gayer even if Richard Simmons was Joe Millionaire.

Anyways, I was thinking about the whole thing. Would I want $50 million, or $1 million, for that matter, if it were just handed to me? At first the answer seems obvious. You gotta be stupid not to take it.

But other than blowing it on Ferraris, a nice crib, and premium heroin, how fulfilling is it to just have all that money fall in your lap? Do I really want to go through life just living off of someone's gift?

Okay, so I'd still take the money, of course. You know what though, it's a waste of your existence to go through life and not accomplish anything meaningful before you die. That's why I don't play the lottery, cause it's such a sad concept to me. That, and it's a waste of a dollar.

Even though my bank account is pretty modest right now, it's still rewarding to see it go up by however little it does each week. Why? Because I worked for it, because I earned it. One day in the future I am confident that I will make millions on my own, by working hard to reach my goals. I don't need no stupid show for that. For now, I'm just little Joe Thousandaire Systems Engineer.

Currently playing on my Winamp: Britney Spears - Email My Heart

Contest is still going. So far, as expected, I have 0 entries. It's a tough contest, I'll admit, I doubt anyone reading this blog will be able to get anything close to all 10. But if you happen to be the only one who enters, you automatically win. Well, I'm gonna throw in a clause: if you choose retarded CDs like Enrique Iglesias, then you are disqualified. I ain't buyin no drink for any Enrique lovers. I especially ain't kissin no Enrique lover's cheek.

Also, don't know if this applies to anyone, but I am sorry if anyone has tried to comment in the past few days. It's been acting funny lately, but I think it's ok now.

Monday, February 17, 2003

National Engineers Week

Unless you live under a giant rock somewhere in Ethiopia, you probably know that today was the start of National Engineers Week. It's the week out of the year when we as a country celebrate the innovation, ingenuity, and dashing good looks that have become characteristic of engineers. America already loves us, that's why we get such friendly terms coined for us like "enginerds", but this week especially we should all take time to recognize how awesome engineers are.

A great way to kick off the weeklong celebration is by working on on a national holiday. What better demonstration of engineers' coolness than showing up at your job on President's Day, when everyone else is at home? We don't need to "sleep" or "go to the Auto Show", that stuff's for losers.

Since I can't possibly fit in all the cool info about N.E.W. in this blog, I'll just refer you all to the following website: http://www.eweek.org, note the feature "Introduce a Girl to Engineering Pledge Roster" or "ASME Engineers Introduce Girls To Engineering". I wonder if there are programs like that in other professions, when there aren't enough people of a certain group represented. Like "Introduce a Chinese guy to NBA Basketball" or "Introduce a white guy to rapping".

Which also makes me wonder, do white people like Eminem for the same reason Asians like Yao Ming? I mean, they are both good at what they do, but you don't see all the Chinese people in Chicago go to the United Center to watch Tracy McGrady when he comes to town, you know? It's like each of those guys is idolized because they are proof that you can be Chinese and be a baller, or you can be white and rap. So it's someone the respective races can identify with and look up to.

I just spent like half an hour updating my computer with software patches and stuff. Interesting how I don't do it when the news tells me that my computer's security is at risk if I don't download a patch. But I make sure to upgrade right away when ESPN.com has new features that take advantage of newer Windows Service Packs and stuff.

Currently playing on my Winamp: Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
In honor of all the great publicity Michael has been receiving lately. Can his popularity soar any higher?

Oh, and the contest is still going on. Pick my top 10 favorite albums and you get a kiss on the cheek or a free drink.

Sunday, February 16, 2003

Sixpence

I went to go watch Sixpence None the Richer at the House of Blues with Olivia and her buddies last night. Not the hugest fan of them, but I went anyways. It turned out to be a pretty good show actually. I was probably in the closest spot possible, front row, center, literally I was leaning on the stage with my forearms about 3 ft from Leigh Nash (lead singer). Felt kind of bad for wasting that spot, some bigger fan probably deserved it. But oh well.

She's got a impressive voice, even more so in a live small venue setting, but the thing that struck me most is how tiny she is. She's freaking small.

Oh yeah, and there were 2 opening bands. The second one was LUCE, and the whole time they were playing, everyone was like "who the hell are these guys?". Until they played the song "Good Day", then you could feel a wave of realization sweep across the crowd. If you don't know what song I'm talking about, it's a MIX101.9 kind of song that goes "it's a pretty good day.... [dabadaba] tomorrow" (there's words that go instead of [dabadaba] but since I don't know them I decided to do it Chras style).

Anyways, after cooking on Valentine's Day and the concert last night, I felt a little bit unmanly. If that's even possible for a man like me. Had the itch to play some football, but too much trouble to organize. So I played craft this afternoon with the crew, and as expected, the testosterone flow returned in no time. Yeah baby, yeah.

Currently playing on my Winamp: Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama
I have no good explanation why. This is one of my favorite albums of all time, and I've been listening to the songs on it a lot lately. By the way, if anyone can guess my top 10 favorite CDs, they get a kiss from me (on the cheek). Or I'll buy you a drink sometime, if you'd rather that. Send me an email dudo509@yahoo.com or IM me. Or just tell me in person or on the phone. Yes, I guess that makes this an official contest, so get your entry submitted soon.

Saturday, February 15, 2003

Yes, I'm Hot

Did anyone else watch that show "Are You Hot?" on Thursday night? I did, but not because I like trashy television. I had to watch it cause my sister wanted me to tape it for her, cause her friend was gonna be in it (he was Ken/Ki-young Kim, the one Asian guy, and he actually made it to the final 8, also, he went to DGS and U of I by the way).

Well, the show ended up being kind of entertaining but also very disturbing at the same time. It's been bothering me ever since then that I had to write something. (If you didn't watch it, you can probably skip this blog)

First of all, this Lorenzo Lamas character, why is he a judge? His title was "International Heartthrob", couldn't they have come up with any better title than that? It's pretty pathetic if you think about it. Seriously, what has he ever done to deserve being called an "international heartthrob"? And I could do without him giving out sex appeal ratings for the guys and explaining how he loves their bodies.

Then there's Rachel Hunter. They introduced her as "model and former wife of Rod Stewart". Now what the crap is that about? They tie her to a guy she isn't even married to anymore, and the guy isn't even popular these days to begin with. That's like if Al Gore went on some show and they introduced him as "the guy who lost to George W. Bush in 2000". And I won't even begin to talk about how stupid she is, or else this blog is gonna end up being way too long again.

As for the contestants, it's sad that there are so many people who waste their time doing this kind of stuff (except Ken, of course, he's still cool). Think about how much this country could accomplish with all the people trying out for these shows. Between American Idol, Survivor, Fear Factor, Real World, and on and on and on, how much time and effort has been wasted by how many people? It's disturbing.

Well, I guess I don't see anything wrong with people taking a few days off, once in a lifetime, to try something different. But watching the people on this show at tryouts, it was like that was their whole life. People were crying if they didn't make the cut and some guy even said he worked out every day at the gym for months to prepare for this show (which has to be BS, but still).

With the girls, I saw a total of maybe 3 or 4 that actually maybe deserve to be considered "one of the hottest in America", and the rest were pretty much just hoochie and skanky. They all had attitudes too, why is it that people think being stuck up and talking smack makes them sexy? That's not sexy to me at all.

Another thing - everyone there was either a personal trainer, waitress, bartender, or flight attendant. In addition to a whole lot of occupations I didn't know existed and sound pretty suspect to me. Although there were some "Office Managers" and even a girl doctor. But unfortunately, I think I heard the word "engineer" like once in the entire 2 hour show. Does that mean there's no hot engineers? Maybe so, I won't argue that. But could it also be that the engineers are "working"? Is it possible that they aren't there blowing a day doing this kind of thing cause they have to be at their "job"?

Not all of the show was bad, though. I have to admit, the part when people walk to the middle of the stage individually, then wait for the big "HOT" or "NOT" lights and buzzer to go off is one of the more hilarious things I have seen in a long time. But other than a few isolated moments, the show was pretty bad. If anyone still wants to watch it though, I have the tape and you can borrow it if you ask nicely and promise to give it back before my sister comes home from school.