Older People
In my sister's b-day card, I wrote to her something like "enjoy your 21st, because after that, you won't really feel happy turning older anymore". Which was basically along the lines of what I was feeling after my 22nd and 23rd birthdays, and I think I wrote a couple blog entries saying as much too.
But I think my view of getting older has been changing for the better. Well, I still dread the day I turn 30 and become a "thirty-something", in my "thirties" (it just sounds old). In terms of actually getting old, though, I guess I don't fear being 30 or 40, as much as I fear reaching that age without having made anything out of my life. It's one thing to be old, but to be old, unhappy, and unsatisfied with where you are, and what you've accomplished, is infinitely worse.
A side benefit of my sister's birthday, if you can call it that, was getting to spend some time with my mom, dad, and grandparents as we all went to dinner. I'm at the age when I wouldn't really be able to stand being around them all the time. But it's definitely worthwhile and rewarding to see them and talk to them now and then.
Anyways, as I sat at the table with the two older generations of the Chen family that came before me, I was really struck by how young and insignificant my life is in comparison to all of theirs. To me, 23 years seems like a long time. But my mom and dad are more than twice as old, and my grandparents are more than three times as old. Not only have they walked this earth that much longer than me, but they have made their time count and have much to show for it.
My grandparents basically moved from China to Taiwan at around my age or even younger. No college education, no money or parents' roof to live under, just completely on their own and having to work for every single thing they had, from the ground up. My mom and dad moved from Taiwan to Chicago around my age. Dad went to grad school, lived across from the ghettos on S. King Drive, got his first job for about $20,000 at the Chicago Board of Trade with an MBA degree.
So none of them had half the opportunities I had, yet look at them now. Years later, my grandparents are successfully retired, with plenty in savings, and 6 children who are all pretty successful and are happy to take care of them. My mom and dad started out in those rough years, but they have a lot to be proud of too. If nothing else, they can take heart in knowing they raised a fantastic son like me, and to a lesser extent, having a decent daughter like my sister (haha just kidding meh).
Then there's the older people at work. You'd think that it would suck to be around 40-50 year olds all the time, but it's not really the case. Sure, it's weird to hear them talk about taking their kids to soccer, remodeling their house, or seeing the Mothers Day gifts their sons made in kindergarten in their offices. I'm still way too young for any of that. But to be honest, a part of me really envies them. I think that's what I'd want my life to be like (except probably in 10-15 years or so).
It's really interesting and enlightening to talk to the "veterans" of the company too. I love hearing all of them talk about the days when they were working on the B-2 Bomber, back when it was a "Black" program and they weren't allowed to discuss it with anyone or even tell people they were on it. I mean, here I am, having worked 7 months at the company, and already been on 3 different projects. There's people who have been here for over 30 years, and it blows my mind to think about how much they must have been through and accomplished in that time. My boss has been here ever since the building was built, and he's had the same parking spot this whole time.
But instead of seeing them as aging and past their prime, more and more I look up to these people and want to follow their footsteps. It still sounds better to stay young and never get old, but, as my dad tells me, "Youth is wasted on the young" (he is full of those kinds of quotes). So being young is fun, but in the end, what do you have to show for it? It's not until you get older that you start to understand the bigger picture of life, and how the world works and everything. We aren't born with the understanding of the true magnitude of value in our youth, and the opportunities this time presents us. I know I didn't make the most of it.
And I guess those of us (including me) who keep thinking about how much it sucks to be getting older, maybe we shouldn't? Or at least maybe ask ourselves why it is that we want to stay young. Is it because we never want to give up the days of being out late and eating unhealthy without consequence? Because the working life, family life, seems so unglamourous in comparison to college and high school? Well, I think what I should really be worried about, when it comes to getting older, is wasting my chance to do something meaningful with my life.
See, I'm not really that bothered when I see a 30-40 year old, even when they might be losing some hair, getting a potbelly, etc. Actually, both my parents are almost 50, and they are in pretty good shape, so I don't worry too much. What I'm saying is, I see most older people simply as people who are older. I don't expect to be friends with them, but I still respect them and stuff.
It's when I see the "thirty-somethings" out partying in the clubs on the weekend when it starts to be more of an issue with me. Like, I wonder what are they doing here, trying to pick up younger chicks who don't know any better? Shouldn't they be doing something else with their life? I think some of us see that older guy and think, man, it's gonna suck to be thirty-something cause then I'll be that old guy in the club who doesn't belong. But look at it another way: I hope that when I'm that age, I won't have any desire to be that guy. In fact, I expect that by then, I'll want to be settled down, married, taking care of kids and moving ahead in my career, so it's not relevant at all. Who cares if I'm at the age when I would look retarded being at the club, I'm not gonna want to be there anyways.
And the reality, at least I hope, is that at some point along the way, we change, we get older not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Right now, I guess it's not clear where we should be. The only words that can sum up my thoughts come from one of the true visionary artists of our generation. I offer you her words:
I'm not a girl
not yet a woman
All I need is time
a moment that is mine
while I'm in between
I'm not a girl
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Work Status
Today was a landmark day in my career. For the first time ever, I had a conflict between two meetings. So I'm gonna mark down "5/21/03" on the calendar, as the first time I was important enough to have a scheduling conflict. It made me feel special, popular and powerful at the same time, to reject one of the meetings. I was like "Yeah... I'm too cool for you guys".
Yesterday I cleaned off the huge stacks of paper that were cluttering up my desk. It amazed me how much stuff can pile up in just over 7 months of working. At the bottom of some piles I found buried treasures that I couldn't find for the longest time. Scissors, Post-it notes, Listerine Pocket Packs, phone numbers of some random hoes I picked up along the way, and a couple highlighters.
(Now that I have a digital organizer, I'm glad I won't lose any more phone numbers to such sloppiness. By the way, if you would like to be added to my list of contacts, please email me with your info: name, birthday, phone number (cell/home/work), email address, URL, name/phone number of your assistant, and if whether you would like to be classified under "Personal" or "Business")
One thing I found was a memo dated 10/17/02, my second week at the company, from the manager on the first program I worked on. It described the general format and what I should include in weekly status reports. Now that I think of it, since then I've written about 30 of these "weeklys" between the different projects I've been on during these 7 months. But that was the very first one. I thought about keeping it for memories sake, but didn't. But still... ahh, memories.
If you ever visit the place I work, you will see that every cube has name tags of the people on the outside wall. Generally, these name tags are ordered in respect to the seniority of each person. Already, I find myself as the top name tag at my cube. Kind of weird to think that since moving in here in October, the original guy moved away, I had the cube to myself for a month, a new guy moved in, another new guy moved in, one of the new guys moved out, and just this Monday another new guy arrived. I am a model of consistency, the rock of this cube, I must say.
Finally, I would like to wish a special Happy Birthday to my favorite sister! Remember, you are definitely ranked among the top 3 Chens in my book.
Today was a landmark day in my career. For the first time ever, I had a conflict between two meetings. So I'm gonna mark down "5/21/03" on the calendar, as the first time I was important enough to have a scheduling conflict. It made me feel special, popular and powerful at the same time, to reject one of the meetings. I was like "Yeah... I'm too cool for you guys".
Yesterday I cleaned off the huge stacks of paper that were cluttering up my desk. It amazed me how much stuff can pile up in just over 7 months of working. At the bottom of some piles I found buried treasures that I couldn't find for the longest time. Scissors, Post-it notes, Listerine Pocket Packs, phone numbers of some random hoes I picked up along the way, and a couple highlighters.
(Now that I have a digital organizer, I'm glad I won't lose any more phone numbers to such sloppiness. By the way, if you would like to be added to my list of contacts, please email me with your info: name, birthday, phone number (cell/home/work), email address, URL, name/phone number of your assistant, and if whether you would like to be classified under "Personal" or "Business")
One thing I found was a memo dated 10/17/02, my second week at the company, from the manager on the first program I worked on. It described the general format and what I should include in weekly status reports. Now that I think of it, since then I've written about 30 of these "weeklys" between the different projects I've been on during these 7 months. But that was the very first one. I thought about keeping it for memories sake, but didn't. But still... ahh, memories.
If you ever visit the place I work, you will see that every cube has name tags of the people on the outside wall. Generally, these name tags are ordered in respect to the seniority of each person. Already, I find myself as the top name tag at my cube. Kind of weird to think that since moving in here in October, the original guy moved away, I had the cube to myself for a month, a new guy moved in, another new guy moved in, one of the new guys moved out, and just this Monday another new guy arrived. I am a model of consistency, the rock of this cube, I must say.
Finally, I would like to wish a special Happy Birthday to my favorite sister! Remember, you are definitely ranked among the top 3 Chens in my book.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Top 10 Female Voices
The following is my list of top 10 females with the best voices in the music world. This list ignores all other factors such as quality of songs, personality, and hotness.
10. Norah Jones
A lot of times I hear Norah Jones's sound being described in the media as "sultry" or "sexy", but I personally don't think those words really fit. I would call it "smooth" and "chill", which makes her music so relaxing to listen to. All I can say is, hopefully she makes another album soon, before her first one burns out from being played all the time in my car.
9. Ashanti
The first time I heard her voice was in the song "Always On Time" with Ja Rule. Even though I always hated Ja Rule, Ashanti made that song a whole lot more bearable. Not much to her other than a cute girl with a sweet-sounding voice, but the charm is in the simpleness I guess.
8. Leigh Nash
She is someone who you have to hear live in a small venue to fully appreciate how quality her voice is. I'm still not a big fan of Sixpence None the Richer, but there's no question that she is just one of those people born with a God-given talent to sing and I can't help but respect that much.
7. Gwen Stefani
As far as her band goes, the only fact about which there is no "no doubt" is that she is the sole reason why they are popular (har har). My favorite Gwen Stefani vocal moment is near the end of "Don't Speak", right after "don't ... don't..." and before "hush hush darling".
6. Beyonce
Kelly Rowland's no slouch, but I like Beyonce's voice more. She recently moved up in the rankings after some quality work with Jay-Z in that song "Bonnie & Clyde", plus the remixes she did with 50 Cent solidified her position in my top 10.
5. Sarah MacLachlan
The main reason Sarah MacLachlan is on the list is because you can't make a list of top female singing voices and not include Sarah MacLachlan. I like some of her songs, and don't like some of her others, but like them or not, you gotta admit that she's got one of the best voices out there.
4. T-boz
Although she is only the third hottest member in TLC, she is definitely the one with the best voice. "Creep" and "Diggin On You" are two of my favorite all time songs, not just among TLC songs but in music period, purely because of her.
3. Alicia Keys
After listening to her CD about 5 times a day, every day senior year of college, I already thought she had an awesome voice. Then me and Olivia went to see her at the Arie Crown Theater, and it blew me away. She has mad talent, that's all I can say.
2. Mariah Carey
Her image and skank-level has fluctuated throughout the years, and she's done songs with just about everyone, including Bone Thugs, Boyz II Men, Brian McKnight, and Jermaine Dupri. But one thing hasn't changed over time: the quality of her voice. Not only is it the most recognizable voice out of any of the others on this list, but it is the kind of voice that almost gives you chills to listen to. Good chills, if that makes any sense.
1. Macy Gray
Not only does she have a great voice, but she is sooooooooo fine.
Just kidding.
1. Sheryl Crow
I'm not even really a fan of Sheryl Crow. I only know a few songs, and I don't really like that many of them. "All I Wanna Do" is shoot myself when I hear that song because it is retarded. I got a feeling, I'm not the only one. The duet she has with Kid Rock is a little annoying too. But I gotta say, her voice is pretty much my exact definition of "sexy" when it comes to describing female singing voices.
The following is my list of top 10 females with the best voices in the music world. This list ignores all other factors such as quality of songs, personality, and hotness.
10. Norah Jones
A lot of times I hear Norah Jones's sound being described in the media as "sultry" or "sexy", but I personally don't think those words really fit. I would call it "smooth" and "chill", which makes her music so relaxing to listen to. All I can say is, hopefully she makes another album soon, before her first one burns out from being played all the time in my car.
9. Ashanti
The first time I heard her voice was in the song "Always On Time" with Ja Rule. Even though I always hated Ja Rule, Ashanti made that song a whole lot more bearable. Not much to her other than a cute girl with a sweet-sounding voice, but the charm is in the simpleness I guess.
8. Leigh Nash
She is someone who you have to hear live in a small venue to fully appreciate how quality her voice is. I'm still not a big fan of Sixpence None the Richer, but there's no question that she is just one of those people born with a God-given talent to sing and I can't help but respect that much.
7. Gwen Stefani
As far as her band goes, the only fact about which there is no "no doubt" is that she is the sole reason why they are popular (har har). My favorite Gwen Stefani vocal moment is near the end of "Don't Speak", right after "don't ... don't..." and before "hush hush darling".
6. Beyonce
Kelly Rowland's no slouch, but I like Beyonce's voice more. She recently moved up in the rankings after some quality work with Jay-Z in that song "Bonnie & Clyde", plus the remixes she did with 50 Cent solidified her position in my top 10.
5. Sarah MacLachlan
The main reason Sarah MacLachlan is on the list is because you can't make a list of top female singing voices and not include Sarah MacLachlan. I like some of her songs, and don't like some of her others, but like them or not, you gotta admit that she's got one of the best voices out there.
4. T-boz
Although she is only the third hottest member in TLC, she is definitely the one with the best voice. "Creep" and "Diggin On You" are two of my favorite all time songs, not just among TLC songs but in music period, purely because of her.
3. Alicia Keys
After listening to her CD about 5 times a day, every day senior year of college, I already thought she had an awesome voice. Then me and Olivia went to see her at the Arie Crown Theater, and it blew me away. She has mad talent, that's all I can say.
2. Mariah Carey
Her image and skank-level has fluctuated throughout the years, and she's done songs with just about everyone, including Bone Thugs, Boyz II Men, Brian McKnight, and Jermaine Dupri. But one thing hasn't changed over time: the quality of her voice. Not only is it the most recognizable voice out of any of the others on this list, but it is the kind of voice that almost gives you chills to listen to. Good chills, if that makes any sense.
1. Macy Gray
Not only does she have a great voice, but she is sooooooooo fine.
Just kidding.
1. Sheryl Crow
I'm not even really a fan of Sheryl Crow. I only know a few songs, and I don't really like that many of them. "All I Wanna Do" is shoot myself when I hear that song because it is retarded. I got a feeling, I'm not the only one. The duet she has with Kid Rock is a little annoying too. But I gotta say, her voice is pretty much my exact definition of "sexy" when it comes to describing female singing voices.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Good Tired
After a long weekend, I must say that I am dead tired. It's a good tired though.
Friday, I saw Matrix Reloaded. I thought it was good, except a little confusing and long. Mostly cool fight scenes and good overall plot development. Of course, it wasn't as groundbreaking or revolutionary as the first, but well worth the price of admission.
Woke up early on Saturday and went to U of I. It was a pretty good trip, got to see a bunch of people, hang out like old times, and attend Dennis's graduation. Gotta give many props to Dennis for getting his Masters Degree (Chris Rock: "What, you my master now?"). Also, thanks for letting us stay at your place and taking care of us. One of the best hosts I know.
When I get a chance, I'll post some of the pics I took.
In other news, I am designating the following month as "Be nice to me" month. In honor of this event, I highly recommend that you all be nice to me for at least the next 30-31 days or so. Just a suggestion. Ok, that is all.
After a long weekend, I must say that I am dead tired. It's a good tired though.
Friday, I saw Matrix Reloaded. I thought it was good, except a little confusing and long. Mostly cool fight scenes and good overall plot development. Of course, it wasn't as groundbreaking or revolutionary as the first, but well worth the price of admission.
Woke up early on Saturday and went to U of I. It was a pretty good trip, got to see a bunch of people, hang out like old times, and attend Dennis's graduation. Gotta give many props to Dennis for getting his Masters Degree (Chris Rock: "What, you my master now?"). Also, thanks for letting us stay at your place and taking care of us. One of the best hosts I know.
When I get a chance, I'll post some of the pics I took.
In other news, I am designating the following month as "Be nice to me" month. In honor of this event, I highly recommend that you all be nice to me for at least the next 30-31 days or so. Just a suggestion. Ok, that is all.
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