Laguna Biatch
I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before in my blog, but Laguna Beach is an awesome show. I know I always rip on trashy "reality TV" and stuff, but then I somehow always end up watching these shows anyways and find myself enjoying them.
I guess I'm not really sure why I liked this show so much. Olivia says "you just like it cause you think Kristin's hot", which she is, but that's only a small part of it, honestly. You gotta admit Kristin is pretty good looking, even though she's still just a high school girl. Not like I'm worshipping her as a goddess and drooling over her beauty as I'm watching the show, or anything like that. She's definitely not hot enough to make me watch a show purely based on hotness. The only examples I can think of that fit that category were Jessica Alba in Dark Angel, and currently maybe that dark-haired Desperate Housewife (Eva Langoria?). Even that one is questionable, she looked a little overrated in the last couple episodes I saw.
As far as Laguna Beach goes, people say it has no plot, and what's the point of watching, but they clearly don't understand the show. That's what I thought at first too. Who wants to watch a bunch of spoiled rich white high schoolers? If we can't stand them when they're being annoying at the movie theater or at the mall, why would we enjoy a "reality" show about them?
But after watching a few episodes, I realized that even though these are exactly the kids we all hate, their lives are actually still very interesting. It's all the stuff I never went through in my own high school experience - the girls, the drama, golfing, surfing, and hanging out at the beach. Am I envious of their lives? Maybe about some things, but overall, no not really. It's mostly just entertaining and interesting to watch.
And I couldn't disagree more about the show having no plot. It's about a bunch of high school seniors going through their last year in Laguna Beach before they all head off in different directions. At the center of it is LC, and the love triangle between her, Steven, and Kristin. There were other subplots too, but this was by far the most captivating storyline and probably the main reason I kept watching. How much more of a plot do you need anyways?
The thing is, it's not like I even liked any of the characters. Most of the girls were dumb, and the guys were tools, which I figured they would be anyways. Kristin, for all her attractiveness, was pretty freaking annoying and wasted her looks by being too much of a hoe. Steven, while you gotta give him props for being a stud (by high school standards), was too big of a whiner at times and way too self-centered to truly like. And LC, even though she was the narrator, it was still hard to feel for her because she was the one who kept wasting her feelings on a guy that obviously didn't deserve it. She's that stereotypical dumb girl we all have seen too many times, who knows she's being used but doesn't have the self-respect to do anything about it.
But by the final episode, I couldn't help but feel somewhat attached to all three of them. Despite their many shortcomings, I think I was still rooting for a happy ending for all of them in the end. The weird thing is that I don't really know what the best ending would be. On the one hand, I kind of wished Steven and Kristin would stay together like they were meant to be, but also thought it might be nice if LC and Steven hooked up in college and made each other happy too.
I guess the show's ambiguous ending was not bad, a good way to leave the viewers wondering. Especially since they had a Laguna Beach 2 planned, which I will definitely watch in hopes of seeing updates on what happened between the three star-crossed lovers. Not to mention the "new girl in the Mercedes", who is a good bet to spice things up.
People like to compare Laguna Beach to the OC, but I'd say this show is way better, for the simple and obvious fact that it's more believable. I know "reality TV" is never truly "real", but at least you don't have ridiculous things like guys hooking up with their ex-girlfriend's mom in this show. Even though I have to say LC's mom is not too shabby, they should follow her around more... haha.
One other thing I thought was interesting was how that one girl was a part of the Schuller family, who are actually kind of well known in the Christian community. At least, I have heard of them, the Crystal Cathedral, and seen the older Robert Schuller (her grandfather) preaching on TV before. It was funny watching her dad, Robert Jr., preach too, because he sounds and acts almost exactly like Rev. Lovejoy in the Simpsons.
While I'm at it, let me also say this: not all reality shows need to have a "point", like eliminating people every week and everyone fighting to win some prize money or a shot at stardom in the end. We have enough of those shows as it is, thank you.
Oh I almost forgot, the music in the show is awesome too. Hillary Duff 4-ever!!! Just kidding... kind of.
Hopefully they will release a Laguna Beach Season 1 DVD, with special features and deleted scenes. I'd line up to buy that one.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
We're #1
Over the past few years, we've had some good teams and gotten close to #1 a number of times, but never quite made it there. Well, after the latest polls were released yesterday, the Illini fans can now officially say we are the #1 team in the nation.
Yeah, it's still very early in the season, so of course a lot can change between now and March. And we all know that the real prize in college basketball isn't being named #1 in December, but to make a run at the Final Four in St. Louis and the national championship. Still, there's something about the sound of "the top-ranked Fighting Illini" that has an especially sweet ring to it. If nothing else, it will help in recruiting I guess.
The encouraging thing is, I think this team actually deserves its high ranking from what we've seen of it so far. Solid starting five, possibly the best of any team in the country, and the bench isn't bad either. Also, it means something extra that we didn't just back into the #1 spot by teams ahead of us losing. We scheduled tough teams early on, and beat them, including the incumbent #1, to earn that honor. Let's just hope they keep playing well from here on out and make the rest of this season a great one.
Over the past few years, we've had some good teams and gotten close to #1 a number of times, but never quite made it there. Well, after the latest polls were released yesterday, the Illini fans can now officially say we are the #1 team in the nation.
Yeah, it's still very early in the season, so of course a lot can change between now and March. And we all know that the real prize in college basketball isn't being named #1 in December, but to make a run at the Final Four in St. Louis and the national championship. Still, there's something about the sound of "the top-ranked Fighting Illini" that has an especially sweet ring to it. If nothing else, it will help in recruiting I guess.
The encouraging thing is, I think this team actually deserves its high ranking from what we've seen of it so far. Solid starting five, possibly the best of any team in the country, and the bench isn't bad either. Also, it means something extra that we didn't just back into the #1 spot by teams ahead of us losing. We scheduled tough teams early on, and beat them, including the incumbent #1, to earn that honor. Let's just hope they keep playing well from here on out and make the rest of this season a great one.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Thanksgiving Weekend
Hope everyone out there had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Mine had its ups and downs. Among the highlights/lowlights:
- Had our traditional Thanksgiving dinner with the family. As I have explained in past years, "Traditional Thanksgiving dinner" for the Chen family doesn't mean turkey, yams, cornbread, and cranberry sauce. It means slices of raw meat, fish balls, squid, shrimp, bok choy, rice noodles, golden mushrooms and more, all cooked in a boiling pot in front of you and then dipped in a mixture of raw eggs and Chinese barbeque sauce. The almighty Hot Pot. I'm lovin it.
- Got to hang with 2 of my favorite people who moved away but were back in town for the weekend, Vic and P. It was only for a couple hours at Ontourage, not exactly my favorite place, but still a treat. Also good to see the rest of you guys who were out that night too, of course. I finally took some pictures too:
- Watched the Incredibles. Good movie, I recommend it. Stories about superheroes are just cool. I can admit it, after watching X-Men I went home and pretended that I had superpowers too. Also, it seems to me that these Pixar movies in general are a cut above the other animated movies coming out these days. Toy Story, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, and now the Incredibles are all much better movies than the other two I saw recently, Shrek 2 and Shark Tale.
- Played some football, in a field composed entirely of snow and mud. It was messy but fun.
- Fantasy football was definitely not fun. Brace yourselves for my long sob story. It was probably the most miserable week I have ever had in fantasy sports (and I have had my share of bad weeks).
Coming into the week I was tied for 4th place, a game out of being tied for first, and facing Dan's team (one of the first place teams) with only 5 weeks left. In other words, it was pretty much a must win if I wanted to have any shot of contending for this year's title. So during every spare moment I had this week, I was looking up stats and reading up on the matchups, agonizing over how the weekend would unfold. By the time games started on Thursday, I could probably tell you every last detail about every player on my team or Dan's team, all the info on every opposing team they were going against, and every player I considered picking up.
Well, I ended up losing a close one. My team did pretty well, but as has been the story for me all year in McNown league, the other team scored more than it should have, and handed me yet another heartbreaking loss. Maybe at the end of the season I will write a recap of this year's results, and break down the numbers to show the different ways that fantasy football was horrible to me in 2004.
In the end, I watched about 15 hours of football games between Thursday and Sunday, filled with plenty of back and forth moments between my team and Dan's that kept me hooked to the computer or TV up through the very last seconds of the Sunday night game. As I watched Jason Elam line up for a last minute field goal yesterday in bed, my count of the scoring had me trailing Dan by 2, which meant that I would have won our matchup if he made it. Of course, the field goal was blocked, giving me a -1 instead of +3 and making me very very sad.
As it turns out, I woke up this morning to find that Yahoo scoring had me losing by 5, which means I would have lost even if Elam made that field goal. In hindsight, I guess it's somewhat more comforting than losing by 1 or 2. But that didn't keep me from tossing and turning in my bed all night, torturing myself by thinking about all the little things that might have cost me the game (and the rest of the season along with it). Not just the blocked FG, but Aaron Brooks throwing an interception on the last play of his game (not even a Hail Mary, it was picked at the 20 yard line), Patrick Kerney getting a sack nullified by a teammate's penalty, NFL.com crediting one of Reuben Droughns's two fumbles to Jake Plummer, Lelie setting up a Droughns TD by falling down at the 2 yard line, and worst of all, Willis McGahee dropping 4 touchdowns on me.
FOUR TOUCHDOWNS BY WILLIS MCGAHEE.... so maddening. I hate him and the Bills and the Seahawks so much after this game. For years, the Bills have been the biggest pansies when it comes to taking chances, yet all of a sudden they're:
1. Onside kicking to start the second half despite being ahead by 2 TDs, and
2. Passing up on a reasonable field goal to go for it on 4th down, despite being up by 3 TDs in the fourth quarter (!!)
And the Seahawks, could this team possibly be more inconsistent and overrated? To think people were picking them to win the Superbowl in the preseason, and talking about it being Matt Hasselbeck's breakout year. They're all colossal wastes of space if you ask me. As I look back at the situation, if McGahee would have "only" scored 3 TDs instead of 4, I would have won this week. I better stop thinking about it before it drives me more insane.
By the way, Happy Bday to Dan if you read this. Seriously, fantasy football aside, I hope your birthday was a good one.
- It wasn't all bad in sports this weekend though. Saturday's Illini game was a real treat to watch, as we crushed Gonzaga in our first game against a ranked team this year. Obviously we're not gonna continue to shoot these ungodly percentages the whole year, but even so, this team looks pretty damn good right now.
Needless to say, this Wednesday's game coming up against Wake Forest is gonna be huge, much bigger than any game at Assembly Hall back when I was still in school. I was looking up ticket prices a couple weeks ago and they were ridiculous, like 188 each for C-level seats and 488 each on B-level.
I guess it makes sense though - honestly, as a sports fan around here these days, what is there to get excited about other than the Illini? A month into the NBA season, the Bulls are 1-9. Meanwhile, the Bears just signed Jeff George for some inexplicable reason. Neither team has been any good for years now, and don't figure to be good anytime soon either. Illini football just fired their coach after yet another horrible season. That program hasn't been good either, since the time we had, well, Jeff George. Ok, maybe not that long ago, but it's definitely been a while.
Hope everyone out there had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Mine had its ups and downs. Among the highlights/lowlights:
- Had our traditional Thanksgiving dinner with the family. As I have explained in past years, "Traditional Thanksgiving dinner" for the Chen family doesn't mean turkey, yams, cornbread, and cranberry sauce. It means slices of raw meat, fish balls, squid, shrimp, bok choy, rice noodles, golden mushrooms and more, all cooked in a boiling pot in front of you and then dipped in a mixture of raw eggs and Chinese barbeque sauce. The almighty Hot Pot. I'm lovin it.
- Got to hang with 2 of my favorite people who moved away but were back in town for the weekend, Vic and P. It was only for a couple hours at Ontourage, not exactly my favorite place, but still a treat. Also good to see the rest of you guys who were out that night too, of course. I finally took some pictures too:
- Watched the Incredibles. Good movie, I recommend it. Stories about superheroes are just cool. I can admit it, after watching X-Men I went home and pretended that I had superpowers too. Also, it seems to me that these Pixar movies in general are a cut above the other animated movies coming out these days. Toy Story, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, and now the Incredibles are all much better movies than the other two I saw recently, Shrek 2 and Shark Tale.
- Played some football, in a field composed entirely of snow and mud. It was messy but fun.
- Fantasy football was definitely not fun. Brace yourselves for my long sob story. It was probably the most miserable week I have ever had in fantasy sports (and I have had my share of bad weeks).
Coming into the week I was tied for 4th place, a game out of being tied for first, and facing Dan's team (one of the first place teams) with only 5 weeks left. In other words, it was pretty much a must win if I wanted to have any shot of contending for this year's title. So during every spare moment I had this week, I was looking up stats and reading up on the matchups, agonizing over how the weekend would unfold. By the time games started on Thursday, I could probably tell you every last detail about every player on my team or Dan's team, all the info on every opposing team they were going against, and every player I considered picking up.
Well, I ended up losing a close one. My team did pretty well, but as has been the story for me all year in McNown league, the other team scored more than it should have, and handed me yet another heartbreaking loss. Maybe at the end of the season I will write a recap of this year's results, and break down the numbers to show the different ways that fantasy football was horrible to me in 2004.
In the end, I watched about 15 hours of football games between Thursday and Sunday, filled with plenty of back and forth moments between my team and Dan's that kept me hooked to the computer or TV up through the very last seconds of the Sunday night game. As I watched Jason Elam line up for a last minute field goal yesterday in bed, my count of the scoring had me trailing Dan by 2, which meant that I would have won our matchup if he made it. Of course, the field goal was blocked, giving me a -1 instead of +3 and making me very very sad.
As it turns out, I woke up this morning to find that Yahoo scoring had me losing by 5, which means I would have lost even if Elam made that field goal. In hindsight, I guess it's somewhat more comforting than losing by 1 or 2. But that didn't keep me from tossing and turning in my bed all night, torturing myself by thinking about all the little things that might have cost me the game (and the rest of the season along with it). Not just the blocked FG, but Aaron Brooks throwing an interception on the last play of his game (not even a Hail Mary, it was picked at the 20 yard line), Patrick Kerney getting a sack nullified by a teammate's penalty, NFL.com crediting one of Reuben Droughns's two fumbles to Jake Plummer, Lelie setting up a Droughns TD by falling down at the 2 yard line, and worst of all, Willis McGahee dropping 4 touchdowns on me.
FOUR TOUCHDOWNS BY WILLIS MCGAHEE.... so maddening. I hate him and the Bills and the Seahawks so much after this game. For years, the Bills have been the biggest pansies when it comes to taking chances, yet all of a sudden they're:
1. Onside kicking to start the second half despite being ahead by 2 TDs, and
2. Passing up on a reasonable field goal to go for it on 4th down, despite being up by 3 TDs in the fourth quarter (!!)
And the Seahawks, could this team possibly be more inconsistent and overrated? To think people were picking them to win the Superbowl in the preseason, and talking about it being Matt Hasselbeck's breakout year. They're all colossal wastes of space if you ask me. As I look back at the situation, if McGahee would have "only" scored 3 TDs instead of 4, I would have won this week. I better stop thinking about it before it drives me more insane.
By the way, Happy Bday to Dan if you read this. Seriously, fantasy football aside, I hope your birthday was a good one.
- It wasn't all bad in sports this weekend though. Saturday's Illini game was a real treat to watch, as we crushed Gonzaga in our first game against a ranked team this year. Obviously we're not gonna continue to shoot these ungodly percentages the whole year, but even so, this team looks pretty damn good right now.
Needless to say, this Wednesday's game coming up against Wake Forest is gonna be huge, much bigger than any game at Assembly Hall back when I was still in school. I was looking up ticket prices a couple weeks ago and they were ridiculous, like 188 each for C-level seats and 488 each on B-level.
I guess it makes sense though - honestly, as a sports fan around here these days, what is there to get excited about other than the Illini? A month into the NBA season, the Bulls are 1-9. Meanwhile, the Bears just signed Jeff George for some inexplicable reason. Neither team has been any good for years now, and don't figure to be good anytime soon either. Illini football just fired their coach after yet another horrible season. That program hasn't been good either, since the time we had, well, Jeff George. Ok, maybe not that long ago, but it's definitely been a while.
Monday, November 22, 2004
I guess Ron Artest will have plenty of time to work on and promote his rap album now.
Out of all the entertaining parts of last friday's brawl, it's hard to pick a favorite. Jermaine O'Neal jacking that guy with a running haymaker was quality, and Stephen Jackson going nuts all over the place was good too. It was also hilarious when the fan was punching Artest from behind, and then Artest turned around and started whaling on him.
I can't find a good video or picture of it, but I think the first guy Artest chased in the stands was actually holding a drink in his hand when Artest started kicking his ass. Wasn't the whole point of going after that fan because he thought that was the guy who threw the beer on him? I guess it never crossed Ronny-boy's mind that maybe if the man was still holding his drink, he probably wasn't the one who threw a drink at him. Hilarious.
Thanks to my dad's internet hookups (I know, what the), he downloaded a bunch of pirated movies which I watched this weekend. Actually, it was just the first half of Shark Tale (I hope it was the lame half, cause it was pretty lame), and Dodgeball. He also got Alexander, but it turned out to be not the one that just came out, but an old movie called Alexander the Great from the 60's or 70's.
I heard the new version of Alexander is under fire in Greece because it suggests that he was gay/bisexual. Interesting.... I wouldn't be surprised, I always thought Colin Farrell was kind of queer.
I also heard that the mom from Meet the Parents is the real-life mom of Gwyneth Paltrow.
Considering how horrible a time it is to be a sports fan around Chicago these days, it is that much more of a relief that Illini basketball is back. Bulls have zero wins in 8 games, everyone important on the Bears is injured, and there's not even a NHL season to follow.
If anyone is going down to U of I at all in the next few weeks, can you do me a favor and try to get a couple of those Illini basketball schedule posters for me? I would like to continue the tradition:
Maybe one of these days I will have to write the entire story on the Wafflemaker Quest, but for now just some highlights:
- Flipped Will on the sidewalk after a friendly hug from behind
- Insulted some girl
- Miller Lite sign
- Licked a slice of pizza and yelled at Andy for not eating it
- Played with a rabbit and got lots of fur shedded on my coat. It's ok though, I love rabbits.
- Test tube shot injuries
Favorite song right now: Lil Wayne - "Go DJ". I like the lyrics, so inspiring.
On the other hand, one song that bothers me is John Mayer's "Daughters". It's not that I have anything against cheesy music, in fact I have this CD and like it overall. But this song is just annoying. Like some guy is going to listen to this song and be like "I guess I should be good to my daughter, John Mayer said so"? Lame.
Out of all the entertaining parts of last friday's brawl, it's hard to pick a favorite. Jermaine O'Neal jacking that guy with a running haymaker was quality, and Stephen Jackson going nuts all over the place was good too. It was also hilarious when the fan was punching Artest from behind, and then Artest turned around and started whaling on him.
I can't find a good video or picture of it, but I think the first guy Artest chased in the stands was actually holding a drink in his hand when Artest started kicking his ass. Wasn't the whole point of going after that fan because he thought that was the guy who threw the beer on him? I guess it never crossed Ronny-boy's mind that maybe if the man was still holding his drink, he probably wasn't the one who threw a drink at him. Hilarious.
Thanks to my dad's internet hookups (I know, what the), he downloaded a bunch of pirated movies which I watched this weekend. Actually, it was just the first half of Shark Tale (I hope it was the lame half, cause it was pretty lame), and Dodgeball. He also got Alexander, but it turned out to be not the one that just came out, but an old movie called Alexander the Great from the 60's or 70's.
I heard the new version of Alexander is under fire in Greece because it suggests that he was gay/bisexual. Interesting.... I wouldn't be surprised, I always thought Colin Farrell was kind of queer.
I also heard that the mom from Meet the Parents is the real-life mom of Gwyneth Paltrow.
Considering how horrible a time it is to be a sports fan around Chicago these days, it is that much more of a relief that Illini basketball is back. Bulls have zero wins in 8 games, everyone important on the Bears is injured, and there's not even a NHL season to follow.
If anyone is going down to U of I at all in the next few weeks, can you do me a favor and try to get a couple of those Illini basketball schedule posters for me? I would like to continue the tradition:
Maybe one of these days I will have to write the entire story on the Wafflemaker Quest, but for now just some highlights:
- Flipped Will on the sidewalk after a friendly hug from behind
- Insulted some girl
- Miller Lite sign
- Licked a slice of pizza and yelled at Andy for not eating it
- Played with a rabbit and got lots of fur shedded on my coat. It's ok though, I love rabbits.
- Test tube shot injuries
Favorite song right now: Lil Wayne - "Go DJ". I like the lyrics, so inspiring.
On the other hand, one song that bothers me is John Mayer's "Daughters". It's not that I have anything against cheesy music, in fact I have this CD and like it overall. But this song is just annoying. Like some guy is going to listen to this song and be like "I guess I should be good to my daughter, John Mayer said so"? Lame.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Anti Norton AntiVirus
I've had my laptop for a few months now, and pretty much everything about it is great, except for one thing. It came pre-loaded with Norton AntiVirus software, which only had a 3 month subscription that ran out a few weeks ago, and now it won't stop bugging me to renew. I tried to uninstall the program, and not only did I fail at that endeavor, but I now get these stupid error messages every time I boot up, in addition to the reminders to renew.
Some of you may be thinking, how hard can it be to uninstall a program? Just go to the Start menu, the program folder, and find the "Uninstall Norton AntiVirus" shortcut, right? Sounds good, but there was no such option to be found, anywhere. Believe me, I looked everywhere. When was the last time you saw a program that didn't come with its own uninstall feature? I mean, even the little dinky apps you download from freeware sites all come with an option that lets you uninstall.
It's ok though, no big deal. I'll use my computer smarts and go to the Windows Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs, and Remove Norton AV myself. Again, no such luck. Norton AntiVirus was listed, but when I selected it, there was no button there to "Change/Remove" like every other program has.
Now I was pissed. How can there be no option in Control Panel to remove this program? I mean, it's one thing if it's a Microsoft program, which might have features closely integrated to Windows and stuff, and even then, I think they usually give you the option to remove. But this is THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE. HOW DARE THEY TELL ME WHAT PROGRAM I CAN AND CAN'T REMOVE??!
Actually, I checked some of the other programs in the Control Panel list, and to my surprise, a few of the other ones were the same way, no "Change/Remove" button. I don't remember this ever being an issue in Windows 2000, maybe it's a new thing in XP? In any case, it's BS. Nobody should have the right to decide what I keep and what I delete on MY computer, except for me.
At one point in this ordeal, I hit a new low. That is, when I told Olivia about my problems and she decided she would try to help me. You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend is working on fixing your computer for you. The same girl who still connects with dialup, uses the internet mostly to shop for clothes or look up pictures of puppies, and believes it's a good idea to click those "Unsubscribe" links in spam emails. Needless to say, it took her about 5 minutes of struggling with my computer before she, too, gave up. Even though I wanted the program off my system, I have to admit that deep down, I was somewhat relieved when she failed. It just wouldn't sit too well with my manhood if I needed my girlfriend to fix my computer for me.
So after all this, I still got the error messages and the renewal reminders to deal with. What makes those reminders that much more infuriating is the way they are presented. At the top, a message that says "Your virus definitions are not up to date" in red letters. As you all know, red means danger. Then it gives two options:
[ ] Renew now (recommended)
[ ] Remind me again in {drop down box} days
WOW, thank you SO MUCH for the recommendation! I wasn't going to renew, but since you recommend it, sign me up immediately! Worse yet, the only selections in the drop down box were either "1" or "15". So basically, I have three choices: 1. Paying these assclowns for a service that I think is worthless to begin with (more on this in a little bit), 2. Having them bug me to pay them every day for as long as I have this computer, or 3. Having them bug me every 15 days for as long as I have this computer. Awesome.
If there's one thing I hate, it's shady and/or unprofessional business practice. For example, when record companies flood Kazaa with bogus files to foil downloaders, it just makes me that much more determined to steal their music out of spite. Likewise, when Norton Antivirus tries to coerce me into subscribing to their services thru repeated harrassment, I do not respond well.
For a while now, I have thought of the whole antivirus industry as a sham to begin with. By now, I have been using computers for more than 10 years and as far as I can remember, not once has my antivirus software saved me from any real threat. There actually was a time when I respected Peter Norton because of his exceptionally useful set of DOS utilities, and thus figured his antivirus programs would be just as good. Unfortunately, I think his name has been sufficiently whored out to the large corporations over the years, to the point where he probably has little if anything to do with the software that still bears his picture on the cover. And if I ever meet the people who designed the current version of Norton Antivirus, I swear I will punch them all in their ovaries, Ron Burgundy style.
I'm not saying that there aren't viruses (virii?) out there. I'm sure there do exist viruses that can destroy your computer, but I think as long as you aren't a dumbass about opening suspicious attachments and that kind of thing, you wouldn't really have to worry about getting them. Either way, if a really potent virus does happen to come along, your antivirus software probably won't be able to catch it anyways, because it's too new to have any definitions available.
Basically what I'm saying is, all NAV really does is slow down your computer, interfere with some legitimate installation programs, and try to charge you for letting them continue to do so. I suppose if you are the ignorant type, you might enjoy paying for that false sense of security. But for me, I will never ever pay for worthless garbage. I just want the stupid program off my computer and out of my life. And soon, before I flip out and the ovary-punching rampage begins.
I've had my laptop for a few months now, and pretty much everything about it is great, except for one thing. It came pre-loaded with Norton AntiVirus software, which only had a 3 month subscription that ran out a few weeks ago, and now it won't stop bugging me to renew. I tried to uninstall the program, and not only did I fail at that endeavor, but I now get these stupid error messages every time I boot up, in addition to the reminders to renew.
Some of you may be thinking, how hard can it be to uninstall a program? Just go to the Start menu, the program folder, and find the "Uninstall Norton AntiVirus" shortcut, right? Sounds good, but there was no such option to be found, anywhere. Believe me, I looked everywhere. When was the last time you saw a program that didn't come with its own uninstall feature? I mean, even the little dinky apps you download from freeware sites all come with an option that lets you uninstall.
It's ok though, no big deal. I'll use my computer smarts and go to the Windows Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs, and Remove Norton AV myself. Again, no such luck. Norton AntiVirus was listed, but when I selected it, there was no button there to "Change/Remove" like every other program has.
Now I was pissed. How can there be no option in Control Panel to remove this program? I mean, it's one thing if it's a Microsoft program, which might have features closely integrated to Windows and stuff, and even then, I think they usually give you the option to remove. But this is THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE. HOW DARE THEY TELL ME WHAT PROGRAM I CAN AND CAN'T REMOVE??!
Actually, I checked some of the other programs in the Control Panel list, and to my surprise, a few of the other ones were the same way, no "Change/Remove" button. I don't remember this ever being an issue in Windows 2000, maybe it's a new thing in XP? In any case, it's BS. Nobody should have the right to decide what I keep and what I delete on MY computer, except for me.
At one point in this ordeal, I hit a new low. That is, when I told Olivia about my problems and she decided she would try to help me. You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend is working on fixing your computer for you. The same girl who still connects with dialup, uses the internet mostly to shop for clothes or look up pictures of puppies, and believes it's a good idea to click those "Unsubscribe" links in spam emails. Needless to say, it took her about 5 minutes of struggling with my computer before she, too, gave up. Even though I wanted the program off my system, I have to admit that deep down, I was somewhat relieved when she failed. It just wouldn't sit too well with my manhood if I needed my girlfriend to fix my computer for me.
So after all this, I still got the error messages and the renewal reminders to deal with. What makes those reminders that much more infuriating is the way they are presented. At the top, a message that says "Your virus definitions are not up to date" in red letters. As you all know, red means danger. Then it gives two options:
[ ] Renew now (recommended)
[ ] Remind me again in {drop down box} days
WOW, thank you SO MUCH for the recommendation! I wasn't going to renew, but since you recommend it, sign me up immediately! Worse yet, the only selections in the drop down box were either "1" or "15". So basically, I have three choices: 1. Paying these assclowns for a service that I think is worthless to begin with (more on this in a little bit), 2. Having them bug me to pay them every day for as long as I have this computer, or 3. Having them bug me every 15 days for as long as I have this computer. Awesome.
If there's one thing I hate, it's shady and/or unprofessional business practice. For example, when record companies flood Kazaa with bogus files to foil downloaders, it just makes me that much more determined to steal their music out of spite. Likewise, when Norton Antivirus tries to coerce me into subscribing to their services thru repeated harrassment, I do not respond well.
For a while now, I have thought of the whole antivirus industry as a sham to begin with. By now, I have been using computers for more than 10 years and as far as I can remember, not once has my antivirus software saved me from any real threat. There actually was a time when I respected Peter Norton because of his exceptionally useful set of DOS utilities, and thus figured his antivirus programs would be just as good. Unfortunately, I think his name has been sufficiently whored out to the large corporations over the years, to the point where he probably has little if anything to do with the software that still bears his picture on the cover. And if I ever meet the people who designed the current version of Norton Antivirus, I swear I will punch them all in their ovaries, Ron Burgundy style.
I'm not saying that there aren't viruses (virii?) out there. I'm sure there do exist viruses that can destroy your computer, but I think as long as you aren't a dumbass about opening suspicious attachments and that kind of thing, you wouldn't really have to worry about getting them. Either way, if a really potent virus does happen to come along, your antivirus software probably won't be able to catch it anyways, because it's too new to have any definitions available.
Basically what I'm saying is, all NAV really does is slow down your computer, interfere with some legitimate installation programs, and try to charge you for letting them continue to do so. I suppose if you are the ignorant type, you might enjoy paying for that false sense of security. But for me, I will never ever pay for worthless garbage. I just want the stupid program off my computer and out of my life. And soon, before I flip out and the ovary-punching rampage begins.
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