Hold'em Hand Of The Day
Hand #1 - Me And My Two Low Pairs
As part of an ongoing effort to improve my decision making instincts in hold'em, I thought it might be a good idea to keep a log of certain hands on this blog. Maybe any of my poker genuis readers out there can provide their input on what should have been done, what they would've done, etc.
The following was the last big hand I played:
I was dealt 5-7 suited (hearts) on the big blind ($1), with 4 people left in the game and about $25 in my stack. The guy after me folds, then dealer calls the blind, and small blind also calls (I think). I check with my 5-7, half-wishing that someone had raised so I could fold.
But no one did, and the flop came with J-5-7 with a flush draw on the board (2 clubs). I bet out $2 with my two-pair (5's and 7's), and then I'm raised by the dealer, making it $3 more. Other guy folds, so it's up to me.
I think about what the dealer could possibly have on this board, knowing that he is a pretty loose player who likes to buy pots, and figure at best, he paired a J. So, I raise his $3 for another $10, expecting him to fold.
He calls my bet, and the next card on the turn is a club (I think it was an 8). Now if he has suited clubs, he has a flush. I'm still pretty sure that my 2-pairs are the best hand, but since he called my $10 raise last round, I decide to just check now. Then he puts me all-in (he has by far the most chips at the table, at least $60-70, while I have about $10 left).
I think about it for a while, but to me, the decision to call this last bet is pretty simple. The way I see it, there are only three possible hands he could beat me with:
1. He might have flopped a three-of-a-kind on the flop with pocket 5's, 7's, or J's. This was highly unlikely because I already had one each of the remaining 5's and 7's in my hand, and if he had pocket J's, I'm almost positive that he would raise with it on pre-flop.
2. He might have a flush with clubs. This was also unlikely in my mind because that means he put $13 in the pot on the flop with just a flush draw.
3. He might have paired that jack on the flop, then made the 2nd pair with the turn card. This was the most likely possibility of the three.
On the other hand, I knew that he was a loose player, and especially with the most money on the table, he was more likely to make reckless bets. I've seen him go all in with absolutely nothing at the worst situations in the past, and now I figure he's just too involved in the pot that he's desperate to try and buy it at this point by going all-in. My best guess, as I call his all-in for my last $10 or so, puts him on one of the following hands that I can beat:
1. Pair of Jacks, high kicker. This was the most likely situation, based on what kind of player I think he is.
2. Pocket Aces, K's, or Q's. This means he was playing them slow from the beginning to try and trap me, and if this were the case, now was my chance to make him pay for it with my 2-pair.
3. Complete bluff. Not all that likely, but it's definitely a possibility based on what I know about his style of play.
Well, as I'm pushing my chips in, he flips up his cards and there it is, A-9 of clubs for the "nut flush". I think "nut" is a good word to describe it because it definitely felt like a kick in the nuts. Anyways, with only one more card to go, I have to get another 5 or 7 (4 "outs") for a miracle full house on the river, but it didn't happen, and I was officially out.
As I do with a lot of hands that I get eliminated on, I end up replaying the whole thing in my mind afterwards, trying to figure out if there was anything I could have done to avoid it. I think overall, I played that hand pretty well, but in no-limit hold'em, it's those little things you do or don't do, that make you either a great player or just average to above-average. So here's the questions I wonder about in hindsight:
1. Instead of re-re-raising his $3 re-raise on the flop by $10, should I have just gone all-in at that point (about a $20 raise instead)? Chances are, nothing is going to come on the last 2 cards to help my 5's and 7's, so this is probably the best time to get all my money in there, on the re-raise. I did see the flush draw on the board, but I figured that $10 would be enough to eliminate someone staying for that. Actually, I thought that my original $2 bet should've eliminated anybody drawing at a flush, but apparently I was wrong on both counts. Either way, I wonder if he would have called an all-in regardless, considering he called my $10. I'm pretty sure he knows me as a player who rarely, if ever, re-re-raises $10 on the flop without a strong hand. Hmmm... next time I see him I'll have to ask the question.
2. Or, instead of re-re-raising his $3 re-raise, should I have figured he had 3-of-a-kind and just folded right there? I mean, I really shouldn't have been involved in the hand with a 5-7 to begin with, were it not for the big-blind, so maybe I should've just given it up when someone re-raised my bet. After all, I checked to him first, and with the flush on the board, I was honestly going to check on the last card too, if it came to that. But 2-pair on the flop, even though it was the low pairs, is just really hard for me to let go. I've won a lot of big pots in the past with that hand.
3. Should I have called the last all-in, after the 3rd flush card fell? As I said before, this seemed like a pretty clear decision for me at the time. Having already put more than half my total money in the pot, I felt that the odds were definitely there for me to call the last $10 or so. Also, I definitely don't want to be bluffed in any situation by anyone, so making the call hopefully discourages him (or anyone else watching the hand) from bluffing at me carelessly in the future. But maybe this is a case where I should be more careful about calling all-ins, when I could still be beat by so many hands (other than the flush, I think a possible straight was on the board, he could have the 3-of-a-kind as I mentioned, or even a higher 2-pair). After this experience, maybe I won't consider 2-pairs to be as great of a hand in the future.
Just to clarify to anyone reading this long story, I am not writing this because I'm bitter. Also, if I made the other guy sound like a terrible player, I didn't mean to. Even though statistically, it's a terrible play to put in a lot of money to draw at a flush from the flop (I think it's about 33% to hit), he did have a lot of money and could afford it at that point in the game. And from that point on, he played it right and ended up with all my chips, so I can't not give him props at least for that much.
Finally, I know that from my end, I probably didn't play that hand perfectly, so until I someday hone my poker skills into "Johnny Chan-caliber play", I'd be wise take everything as a learning experience. My goals are gonna be to complain less, to take nothing personally, and to hopefully get better along the way.
So, any constructive criticism from you the reader is welcome, such as "Joe you're such a dumbass" or "you suck". Or, "stop boring us with your sob stories, hold'em is for losers". But, maybe if there happens to be some good discussion and interest in my poker entries, I'll make it a semi-regular thing. In which case, I think I already know what my next "Hold'em Hand of the Day" will be. We'll see.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
- Last month, Jerry Manuel was fired as manager of the White Sox. Yesterday, Bill Cartwright was fired as coach of the Bulls. Next in line will probably be Dick Jauron from the Bears. I never thought this city would see the day when the guy with the most job security is the manager of the Cubs.
- Yesterday I signed on to AIM and saw that there were less than half the normal amount of people on my buddy list that were signed on. Is this because all the college kids came home for Thanksgiving break, or was there some nationwide internet outage that I was unaware of?
- Tonight is the final episode of Real World Paris. Some people say that this series sucked because there was "not enough hooking up", but I thought it was very entertaining. I think this was actually the first season of RW that I watched almost every episode of.
*****
Thoughts on Racism
I hate racism. I think most of the civilized world is pretty much agreed that racism is bad, so there's not much point in writing about why it sucks. Instead, I feel like venting about what pisses me off just as much: when overly sensitive people overreact to certain things and call them racist, which aren't really racist.
Example 1: I was reading an article the other day about the dominance of Kenyans in the marathons around the world. A scientific study was done in 2000 by the Danish Sports Science Institute, to see if there was any genetic correlation of why marathons seem to always be won by Kenyans. The study, which provided conclusive results that Kenyans (specifically the Kalenjin tribe) do have a genetic advantage in adaptivity to long distance running, was immediately met with sharp criticism for being racist. In particular, a former champion from Kenya, Kip Keino, was "incensed" by the study's results for implying that Kenyan success in marathons was not purely due to work ethic.
Example 2: During the past baseball season, Dusty Baker was asked by reporters about whether or not the Cubs' schedule was a disadvantage because of all the day games. His reply was something to the tune of, black people were brought over here as slaves in the first place, because of their physical endurance and ability to handle long days in the sun, so he didn't believe the day games were a factor. His statements were instantly blasted by the media, white and black alike, for being racist.
Example 3: A couple months ago, Rush Limbaugh made the statement as an ESPN football analyst that Donovan McNabb was way overrated by the media, which was desperate to see a black quarterback succeed in the NFL. Within days, Limbaugh was out the door of ESPN and labeled a racist for his opinions on the matter.
Now, I'm not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with anyone in the above examples. That's not really my point. The thing is, all three situations I mentioned involve people being way too sensitive and carelessly using the word "racism" to describe something that, in my mind, is clearly not racist. It just seems like some people are so eager to jump on anything that even remotely implies that different groups are unequal, and make a huge fuss about it.
I think a big part of this is because most of us learned all we know about racism through the public education system, in our elementary school years. All I remember from those days is the constant mantra of "All men are created equal", that slavery was horrible, and that Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King were the heroes who made our society so culturally harmonious today. That's all fine and dandy, but I'd have to say that it paints a grossly incomplete picture of what racism is really about.
First of all, even though the founding fathers of this country told us that "all men are created equal", this is obviously not the entire story. If we were all created equal, then why do some of us have darker or lighter skin to begin with? Why are some of us more prone to sickle cell anemia, others to lactose intolerance? Do we all have "equal" amounts of hair, of equal color and texture, distributed in the exact same proportion on our bodies? Even if you just think about those few simple questions, it's easy to see that we are not created equal among races, if only in a sense of physical genetics.
With this in mind, why is it so taboo for people to accept or even discuss something such as the possibility that humans of African origin may have certain advantages when it comes to athletics? I mean, is it really a coincidence that there is such a disproportionately high number of black people in the NBA, NFL, etc.? I understand that a study such as the Danish one I mentioned implies that Kenyans don't win marathons purely because of their training and work ethic, but so what? Facts are facts.
You know, a Korean guy broke the long streak of Kenyans by winning the Boston Marathon in 2001 - where was this highly touted Kenyan work ethic that year, I ask? And on the flip side, doesn't the way the Kenyans responded to the study imply that they think Asians and Whites don't win marathons due to lack of hard work? I should feel insulted! (Of course, I'll be the first to admit that I am too lazy to train for a marathon, so I'll be keeping my mouth shut about that. But maybe Rich or Dennis would have a right to say something, being the marathon trainers they are... now's your time to jump in and give those Kenyans a piece of your minds guys!)
Besides being really annoying to hear the media or "activists" whining about everything all the time, I think this general hypersensitivity of our society towards racism hurts much deeper. When we are constantly calling things racist that aren't real cases of racism, it tends to trivialize the things that actually are racist. It doesn't benefit anyone to scapegoat Rush Limbaugh for the kinds of comments he made, which were, at worst, simply ignorant and misinformed. It might make Jesse Jackson or Louis Farakhan or whoever a hero in the eyes of the public to speak out in this cause, but how would this help the latest victim of a hate crime, for example? How does it help the guy who is about to be passed over for a job, not because he's not qualified, but because he's not white?
Not only this, when people overreact about anything that might remotely be considered racist, it ends hurting everyone more because it stifles any chance of us having a productive discussion on the heart of the subject. And this, in turn, breeds further ignorance and prevents us from ever achieving the one thing that could actually eliminate racism: the ability to fully understand each other and understand the truth.
The bottom line is, whenever the kinds of questions about race come up such as in the examples I mentioned, people should really take the opportunity to think about the situations instead of rushing to judgement. Calling for someone to get fired or demanding a full apology does basically nothing. After all, if someone makes a statement, he obviously must believe in it, otherwise why would he say it in the first place? So what good will firing him or forcefully making him retract it do?
Let's face it, we're never going to get everyone to suddenly stop being racist by simply forcing equality on the entire country. To me, fighting racism isn't about making everyone believe that we're all equal. It's about treating everyone with equal amounts of respect and giving everyone equal opportunities regardless of skin color. And as I mentioned before, the way to achieve this is to promote understanding of each other and of the truth. But if people are so sensitive about the subject to ever talk about or even think about the real issues, then this will never happen. This is why I say that I hate these overly sensitive people just as much as I hate the real racists themselves, because both are responsible for holding us all back from reaching a healthy state of race relations.
*****
Hopefully this entry made some sense. I realize that it is a more intense topic than one might expect on this short week of Thanksgiving, but for some reason I just felt like I needed to get these thoughts off my chest today. And now, it's time for me to go home.
- Yesterday I signed on to AIM and saw that there were less than half the normal amount of people on my buddy list that were signed on. Is this because all the college kids came home for Thanksgiving break, or was there some nationwide internet outage that I was unaware of?
- Tonight is the final episode of Real World Paris. Some people say that this series sucked because there was "not enough hooking up", but I thought it was very entertaining. I think this was actually the first season of RW that I watched almost every episode of.
*****
Thoughts on Racism
I hate racism. I think most of the civilized world is pretty much agreed that racism is bad, so there's not much point in writing about why it sucks. Instead, I feel like venting about what pisses me off just as much: when overly sensitive people overreact to certain things and call them racist, which aren't really racist.
Example 1: I was reading an article the other day about the dominance of Kenyans in the marathons around the world. A scientific study was done in 2000 by the Danish Sports Science Institute, to see if there was any genetic correlation of why marathons seem to always be won by Kenyans. The study, which provided conclusive results that Kenyans (specifically the Kalenjin tribe) do have a genetic advantage in adaptivity to long distance running, was immediately met with sharp criticism for being racist. In particular, a former champion from Kenya, Kip Keino, was "incensed" by the study's results for implying that Kenyan success in marathons was not purely due to work ethic.
Example 2: During the past baseball season, Dusty Baker was asked by reporters about whether or not the Cubs' schedule was a disadvantage because of all the day games. His reply was something to the tune of, black people were brought over here as slaves in the first place, because of their physical endurance and ability to handle long days in the sun, so he didn't believe the day games were a factor. His statements were instantly blasted by the media, white and black alike, for being racist.
Example 3: A couple months ago, Rush Limbaugh made the statement as an ESPN football analyst that Donovan McNabb was way overrated by the media, which was desperate to see a black quarterback succeed in the NFL. Within days, Limbaugh was out the door of ESPN and labeled a racist for his opinions on the matter.
Now, I'm not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with anyone in the above examples. That's not really my point. The thing is, all three situations I mentioned involve people being way too sensitive and carelessly using the word "racism" to describe something that, in my mind, is clearly not racist. It just seems like some people are so eager to jump on anything that even remotely implies that different groups are unequal, and make a huge fuss about it.
I think a big part of this is because most of us learned all we know about racism through the public education system, in our elementary school years. All I remember from those days is the constant mantra of "All men are created equal", that slavery was horrible, and that Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King were the heroes who made our society so culturally harmonious today. That's all fine and dandy, but I'd have to say that it paints a grossly incomplete picture of what racism is really about.
First of all, even though the founding fathers of this country told us that "all men are created equal", this is obviously not the entire story. If we were all created equal, then why do some of us have darker or lighter skin to begin with? Why are some of us more prone to sickle cell anemia, others to lactose intolerance? Do we all have "equal" amounts of hair, of equal color and texture, distributed in the exact same proportion on our bodies? Even if you just think about those few simple questions, it's easy to see that we are not created equal among races, if only in a sense of physical genetics.
With this in mind, why is it so taboo for people to accept or even discuss something such as the possibility that humans of African origin may have certain advantages when it comes to athletics? I mean, is it really a coincidence that there is such a disproportionately high number of black people in the NBA, NFL, etc.? I understand that a study such as the Danish one I mentioned implies that Kenyans don't win marathons purely because of their training and work ethic, but so what? Facts are facts.
You know, a Korean guy broke the long streak of Kenyans by winning the Boston Marathon in 2001 - where was this highly touted Kenyan work ethic that year, I ask? And on the flip side, doesn't the way the Kenyans responded to the study imply that they think Asians and Whites don't win marathons due to lack of hard work? I should feel insulted! (Of course, I'll be the first to admit that I am too lazy to train for a marathon, so I'll be keeping my mouth shut about that. But maybe Rich or Dennis would have a right to say something, being the marathon trainers they are... now's your time to jump in and give those Kenyans a piece of your minds guys!)
Besides being really annoying to hear the media or "activists" whining about everything all the time, I think this general hypersensitivity of our society towards racism hurts much deeper. When we are constantly calling things racist that aren't real cases of racism, it tends to trivialize the things that actually are racist. It doesn't benefit anyone to scapegoat Rush Limbaugh for the kinds of comments he made, which were, at worst, simply ignorant and misinformed. It might make Jesse Jackson or Louis Farakhan or whoever a hero in the eyes of the public to speak out in this cause, but how would this help the latest victim of a hate crime, for example? How does it help the guy who is about to be passed over for a job, not because he's not qualified, but because he's not white?
Not only this, when people overreact about anything that might remotely be considered racist, it ends hurting everyone more because it stifles any chance of us having a productive discussion on the heart of the subject. And this, in turn, breeds further ignorance and prevents us from ever achieving the one thing that could actually eliminate racism: the ability to fully understand each other and understand the truth.
The bottom line is, whenever the kinds of questions about race come up such as in the examples I mentioned, people should really take the opportunity to think about the situations instead of rushing to judgement. Calling for someone to get fired or demanding a full apology does basically nothing. After all, if someone makes a statement, he obviously must believe in it, otherwise why would he say it in the first place? So what good will firing him or forcefully making him retract it do?
Let's face it, we're never going to get everyone to suddenly stop being racist by simply forcing equality on the entire country. To me, fighting racism isn't about making everyone believe that we're all equal. It's about treating everyone with equal amounts of respect and giving everyone equal opportunities regardless of skin color. And as I mentioned before, the way to achieve this is to promote understanding of each other and of the truth. But if people are so sensitive about the subject to ever talk about or even think about the real issues, then this will never happen. This is why I say that I hate these overly sensitive people just as much as I hate the real racists themselves, because both are responsible for holding us all back from reaching a healthy state of race relations.
*****
Hopefully this entry made some sense. I realize that it is a more intense topic than one might expect on this short week of Thanksgiving, but for some reason I just felt like I needed to get these thoughts off my chest today. And now, it's time for me to go home.
Monday, November 24, 2003
Frickin' Freezin
This morning was so cold. Why didn't anybody warn me in advance about this snow and arctic wind? Just last week, I was walking around just fine, without even having to wear a light jacket, and thinking about washing my car. All of a sudden, I can't even run from my car in the parking lot to the entrance at work today, without having to stop and check to see whether my ears are still attached to my body, or if they froze, cracked off and blew away.
I dread cold weather because it gets harder to wake up in the morning, and then I feel so much lazier when it comes to leaving the house, working out, and just about everything else in general. I'm the kind of person who likes to use these kinds of things as an excuse to avoid doing all kinds of stuff:
"Hmmm.... I should probably go to Jewel and buy some food. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
"The oil in my car needs to be changed. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
"I gotta do some laundry soon. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
One thing that the cold weather might actually push me to do is to get a remote starter for my car. I've been thinking about doing it for a long time (even back when I first got the Maxima), but obviously never followed through. Now, I think I could really use a remote starter to warm up my car in the morning while I eat, or after work while I walk through the parking lot, so I don't have to get in and wait so long for it to heat up. If anyone out there is knowledgeable about remote starters, would like to recommend a certain model to me, and/or help me install it, let me know!
Of course, a good thing that comes with the drop in temperature is the Christmas season. I'm a huge sucker for everything having to do with Christmas. People who have read my blog last year around this time would know this, as I wrote a whole thing on the best Christmas songs, movies, etc., and changed all the colors of this site to shades of red and green. I still haven't gotten around to fixing my archives and stuff, but maybe after writing this I will try to work on my template and find last year's entries.
For me, the Christmas season this year officially started last Friday night. Every day for the past 7 months, I've driven past the intersection on the way to/from work where NW Hwy and Hicks split off, and the area looks pretty boring, nothing special. But coming home late that night from the city, I was so surprised to see that same intersection lit up by all these Christmas lights, strung around all the bushes and trees by the street. I didn't even notice there were bushes and trees there before, but I guess I'm just not too observant about that kind of stuff. Anyways, it looked really cool, and instantly put me in the happy Christmas mood. Props to Palatine township.
This was followed up on Sunday after church, when me and my sister watched one of our favorite all-time movies playing on WGN, Home Alone. Later that day, I noticed that it was on TBS Superstation too. I just love that movie so much, it brings back all these great memories and feelings, especially associated with Christmastime. So if the lights on the trees and stuff weren't enough, watching Home Alone definitely left no further doubt in my mind that Christmas season was here.
In the meantime, it seems that Thanksgiving has been forgotten for the moment. But I know that I won't forget it later this week, when I get to enjoy a much needed long weekend. That's the cool part I realized about Thanksgiving since I started working, is that most of us (sorry P) have a built-in thing to be thankful for. That is, getting the day(s) off for the holiday. Hopefully, I will also find myself thankful for Ahman Green running me out to a huge early lead in one of the Thursday NFL games.
As for the snow, well, I hope it won't affect me as much this year, since I don't have to commute from Darien anymore. Although, now I park outside in the driveway, so that could suck. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'd rather see snow covering the ground, than this "light flurries with no accumulation" BS. The way I see it, if it's gonna snow, and wind is gonna blast it in my face, it better at least look nice and wintery outside.
To sum up:
- It's frickin freezing
- Cold weather makes me lazy
- I need a remote starter
- At least it's Christmas season
- I love Christmas season
- But don't forget about Thanksgiving
- Snow a lot, or not at all
*****
Update: I fixed the archives, and the links to my Christmas entries from last year are as follows:
Christmas DBA Nominations
DBA Winners
While looking for these posts, I discovered a cool feature in the new Blogger interface that lets you search for posts containing certain words. I didn't know you could do that, it would've saved me some time trying to find those Christmas blogs in all the weeks before Christmas (it turns out that I posted them the week of Christmas, how wacky).
This morning was so cold. Why didn't anybody warn me in advance about this snow and arctic wind? Just last week, I was walking around just fine, without even having to wear a light jacket, and thinking about washing my car. All of a sudden, I can't even run from my car in the parking lot to the entrance at work today, without having to stop and check to see whether my ears are still attached to my body, or if they froze, cracked off and blew away.
I dread cold weather because it gets harder to wake up in the morning, and then I feel so much lazier when it comes to leaving the house, working out, and just about everything else in general. I'm the kind of person who likes to use these kinds of things as an excuse to avoid doing all kinds of stuff:
"Hmmm.... I should probably go to Jewel and buy some food. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
"The oil in my car needs to be changed. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
"I gotta do some laundry soon. Nah, it's too cold, screw it."
One thing that the cold weather might actually push me to do is to get a remote starter for my car. I've been thinking about doing it for a long time (even back when I first got the Maxima), but obviously never followed through. Now, I think I could really use a remote starter to warm up my car in the morning while I eat, or after work while I walk through the parking lot, so I don't have to get in and wait so long for it to heat up. If anyone out there is knowledgeable about remote starters, would like to recommend a certain model to me, and/or help me install it, let me know!
Of course, a good thing that comes with the drop in temperature is the Christmas season. I'm a huge sucker for everything having to do with Christmas. People who have read my blog last year around this time would know this, as I wrote a whole thing on the best Christmas songs, movies, etc., and changed all the colors of this site to shades of red and green. I still haven't gotten around to fixing my archives and stuff, but maybe after writing this I will try to work on my template and find last year's entries.
For me, the Christmas season this year officially started last Friday night. Every day for the past 7 months, I've driven past the intersection on the way to/from work where NW Hwy and Hicks split off, and the area looks pretty boring, nothing special. But coming home late that night from the city, I was so surprised to see that same intersection lit up by all these Christmas lights, strung around all the bushes and trees by the street. I didn't even notice there were bushes and trees there before, but I guess I'm just not too observant about that kind of stuff. Anyways, it looked really cool, and instantly put me in the happy Christmas mood. Props to Palatine township.
This was followed up on Sunday after church, when me and my sister watched one of our favorite all-time movies playing on WGN, Home Alone. Later that day, I noticed that it was on TBS Superstation too. I just love that movie so much, it brings back all these great memories and feelings, especially associated with Christmastime. So if the lights on the trees and stuff weren't enough, watching Home Alone definitely left no further doubt in my mind that Christmas season was here.
In the meantime, it seems that Thanksgiving has been forgotten for the moment. But I know that I won't forget it later this week, when I get to enjoy a much needed long weekend. That's the cool part I realized about Thanksgiving since I started working, is that most of us (sorry P) have a built-in thing to be thankful for. That is, getting the day(s) off for the holiday. Hopefully, I will also find myself thankful for Ahman Green running me out to a huge early lead in one of the Thursday NFL games.
As for the snow, well, I hope it won't affect me as much this year, since I don't have to commute from Darien anymore. Although, now I park outside in the driveway, so that could suck. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'd rather see snow covering the ground, than this "light flurries with no accumulation" BS. The way I see it, if it's gonna snow, and wind is gonna blast it in my face, it better at least look nice and wintery outside.
To sum up:
- It's frickin freezing
- Cold weather makes me lazy
- I need a remote starter
- At least it's Christmas season
- I love Christmas season
- But don't forget about Thanksgiving
- Snow a lot, or not at all
*****
Update: I fixed the archives, and the links to my Christmas entries from last year are as follows:
Christmas DBA Nominations
DBA Winners
While looking for these posts, I discovered a cool feature in the new Blogger interface that lets you search for posts containing certain words. I didn't know you could do that, it would've saved me some time trying to find those Christmas blogs in all the weeks before Christmas (it turns out that I posted them the week of Christmas, how wacky).
Friday, November 21, 2003
Feel the Rush
A list of some of the most exciting rushes in my life, past and present:
- Executing a successful Psi Storm on Marines/Medics/Firebats in Starcraft. I love the sound of all those humans dying at once.
- "Flopping a set" in Hold'em.
- Any time one of my fantasy players scores a TD
- Hearing the new intake roar for the first time when I floored it in my Maxima
- Having an 8oz. Filet Mignon plus King Crab Legs dinner at Bob Chinn's when I'm really hungry
- Being at a great live performance of one of your favorite songs (my personal examples include Red Hot Chili Peppers "Under the Bridge", Britney Spears "You Drive Me Crazy", 311 "Down", and more)
- Loading Piya's blog and seeing a new Choose Your Own Adventure or Stork article
- Making a solid tackle (As some friends know, this was not limited to the football field. But that was in the past, so don't worry anymore)
- Getting an awesome "alone" hand in Euchre
- Nailing a good break in 9-ball (or to a lesser extent, 8-ball), I love hearing that sound and watching the balls go flying
- Jumping off a cliff (into water)
- Pulling off all the shifts perfectly and setting a new time record in Daytona USA Arcade, Advanced or Expert tracks
- Finding an awesome parking spot in the city with time still on the meter (I know Chras feels me on this one)
- Walking out of an ECE exam feeling like I completely owned it (this has not happened very often)
- Last day of school or work before a long vacation
- Arriving at the terminal in O'Hare after a long vacation. Home Sweet Home...
- Finding a really cute BCBG dress on sale (just kidding)
- Entering a classified lab or room here at work
- Washing my hands using my sister's Bath & Body Works Exfoliating soap for the first time
- Ordering stuff online and getting it in the mail
- Climbing trees (haven't done this since I was about 10 years old... anyone wanna go to the Arboretum sometime?)
There's more, but that's all I will list for now.
A list of some of the most exciting rushes in my life, past and present:
- Executing a successful Psi Storm on Marines/Medics/Firebats in Starcraft. I love the sound of all those humans dying at once.
- "Flopping a set" in Hold'em.
- Any time one of my fantasy players scores a TD
- Hearing the new intake roar for the first time when I floored it in my Maxima
- Having an 8oz. Filet Mignon plus King Crab Legs dinner at Bob Chinn's when I'm really hungry
- Being at a great live performance of one of your favorite songs (my personal examples include Red Hot Chili Peppers "Under the Bridge", Britney Spears "You Drive Me Crazy", 311 "Down", and more)
- Loading Piya's blog and seeing a new Choose Your Own Adventure or Stork article
- Making a solid tackle (As some friends know, this was not limited to the football field. But that was in the past, so don't worry anymore)
- Getting an awesome "alone" hand in Euchre
- Nailing a good break in 9-ball (or to a lesser extent, 8-ball), I love hearing that sound and watching the balls go flying
- Jumping off a cliff (into water)
- Pulling off all the shifts perfectly and setting a new time record in Daytona USA Arcade, Advanced or Expert tracks
- Finding an awesome parking spot in the city with time still on the meter (I know Chras feels me on this one)
- Walking out of an ECE exam feeling like I completely owned it (this has not happened very often)
- Last day of school or work before a long vacation
- Arriving at the terminal in O'Hare after a long vacation. Home Sweet Home...
- Finding a really cute BCBG dress on sale (just kidding)
- Entering a classified lab or room here at work
- Washing my hands using my sister's Bath & Body Works Exfoliating soap for the first time
- Ordering stuff online and getting it in the mail
- Climbing trees (haven't done this since I was about 10 years old... anyone wanna go to the Arboretum sometime?)
There's more, but that's all I will list for now.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Routine
When I first stepped into the working world, one of the words that really scared me was "routine". Hearing that word made me picture an old grandpa in a nursing home, who needs to do the same thing and follow the same schedule every day, while having very little variety (or none at all) in his lifestyle. The word also brought to mind the image of a 9-5 corporate peon, as portrayed in the movie Office Space. Waking up each day at the same time to the same alarm clock, just so you can struggle through rush hour traffic to get to work, where you have to deal with the same annoying people and do all the same monotonous chores for 8 hours, then going home tired, having a beer, and collapsing in bed out of sheer exhaustion, only to restart the process the next morning.
Since neither of these lifestyles were particularly appealing to me, I made the promise to myself that I would never let my own life reach such a point of repetition and perpetual tedium. Especially being so fresh out of college, a time when I thoroughly enjoyed a most "unroutine" lifestyle, few things worried me more than getting sucked into a job and a life that was anything close to resembling a routine.
It's now been more than a year since that time, and as I stop to evaulate my current life, I'd have to say that it's a lot different than what I thought I wanted my life to be, based upon last year's standards. Despite consciously trying to avoid turning my life into a routine, I've found that a great deal of what I do every day has nevertheless become exactly that which I originally feared.
From Monday to Friday, my alarm wakes me up at the same time every morning, and I go to sleep at pretty much the same time every night too. I eat the same cereal for breakfast, and basically the same sandwich, chips, and juice for lunch. I shower at the same time, check people's blogs and other websites in pretty much the same order, and I'm even finding myself watching the same TV shows on certain nights of the week, something I never used to do. Even my weekends seem to have some set schedule these days. Saturday, sleep in and go home to Darien in the afternoon, then hang out with friends and/or Olivia. And then Sundays have strictly been a combination of church, football, and cards.
Now, without going through every single detail of my daily schedule, let's just say that it's all a far cry from the days at U of I. Even when I had classes every morning, I always considered waking up for them to be purely optional on my part (in hindsight, not a great policy). I'd eat an average of 1-2 meals a day, if that, and they usually consisted of either Ramen, frozen pizza, or Rice Garden. I'd go to sleep and wake up at any given time, weekdays or weekends regardless. And I rarely watched much TV other than late night Sportscenter reruns or MTV After Hours/Dawn Patrol.
As I've said before, and I'm sure most of my friends would agree, it was this exact characteristic of unpredictability and freedom that made college such a great time. I know that I will always miss those days when the concepts of "schedule" and "routine" seemed as foreign as Chinese TPS reports (don't ask me what that is supposed to mean, I don't know).
But as much as my habits and lifestyle have moved away from the old college ways, I'm surprised to find that I'm not as bothered or worried about this as I originally thought I would be. In fact, I think I'm actually subconsciously starting to crave more routine in my current life. Part of it is, there's a certain comfort in waking up and knowing that there's nothing I'm going to encounter today, that I haven't already encountered and gotten through plenty of times already in the past. Not that every day is exactly the same for me, and I still do face new things all the time. But following a good routine just seems to make life easier, less stressful, and a lot more productive overall. And that is definitely a good thing in my book.
I guess living within the guidelines of my routine means that the days of chaotic college life will be officially left behind. In a way, it does make me sad to let go of all the spontaneity and lack of boundaries that I enjoyed so much. It means there won't be nearly as many wacky stories with me pulling allnighters, sleeping for 16 hours straight on Chras's bed, playing Starcraft or shooting pool instead of studying for a final, or going to class the morning after your 21st birthday. But, it also means that I won't be constantly "learning the hard way" what it's like to work a long 8 hour day after making some unwise decisions the night before. And you know what? I think I'm getting older and mature enough to the point where I'm willing to give up the crazy experiences and the highs and lows for some good old consistency and steadiness in my life.
Of course, I think from my point of view, I can consider my routine lifestyle to be a positive thing largely because it is mostly by my own voluntary choice. I'm still quite wary of ever unwittingly becoming a "slave to routine", and I do believe that if I had my daily schedule imposed on me, my thoughts on the whole thing would be much different. I mean, it's not as if I'm like that guy in Office Space who is forced into a rut by the demands of his job and everything around me. Nor am I the nursing home grandpa, whose habits have become so ingrained through years of repetition that they have formed an unending and unbreakable cycle. Well, not yet, at least.
Maybe it's all a matter of perspective, but I really don't mind living a semi-repetitive life, as long as I feel like I'm still in control and I'm still happy doing what I do. Even if it makes me dull or boring, and people call me "old man" for always having to go home by 11 or earlier, I'm fine with that. Like I said before, I'm getting too old to always be having to recover from the results of my own poor judgement. After all, I'm a boring guy anyways, so hey, I might as well just accept that fact and make the most out of it by getting enough sleep and living healthier while I'm at it, right?
*****
Yesterday I "got in the zone" for $9.88 at Target (that means I bought the new Britney Spears album). I didn't realize Target sold CD's that cheap, I've been getting ripped off at Best Buy all this time!
Anyways, I've only listened to the first 6 or 7 tracks, but so far I'm liking this CD. I was kind of expecting it to suck, after the stuff I've been seeing and hearing on the MTV and ABC specials, and also her song with Madonna blows. But, I'm pretty impressed with the sound and style of the rest of the songs I'm hearing. I'm glad it's not as overtly raunchy as the media has been saying, but it does remind me somewhat of Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope in its edgy qualities. Up to this point, I definitely like this album better than the last CD, which had way too much of the Neptunes influence in my opinion (I never really got into the Neptunes, I thought they were grossly overrated and I still don't like Pharrell's stuff, but I'm sure others will disagree). So yeah, those are my thoughts on the first half of the album, hopefully the second half will not disappoint.
*****
My mom and dad are celebrating their 25th anniversary today. In typical fobby Chinese fashion, they are choosing to commemorate this occasion by inviting me to eat with them at Todai.
I don't know how it is in other families, but having grown up under my parents and watching them go through all the tough times of life, I know that making their marriage last 25 years is no small accomplishment. I feel really lucky and happy to see them reach this point. I know my sister can attest to seeing the many times when everything seemed like it was so close to falling apart or blowing up, but somehow everything stuck together through it all.
For me personally, in this age when divorced and separated couple are more common than those that stay married, seeing my own parents make their marriage work for 25 years really gives me a reason to believe and have faith that I myself can someday get married and make it last too.
When I first stepped into the working world, one of the words that really scared me was "routine". Hearing that word made me picture an old grandpa in a nursing home, who needs to do the same thing and follow the same schedule every day, while having very little variety (or none at all) in his lifestyle. The word also brought to mind the image of a 9-5 corporate peon, as portrayed in the movie Office Space. Waking up each day at the same time to the same alarm clock, just so you can struggle through rush hour traffic to get to work, where you have to deal with the same annoying people and do all the same monotonous chores for 8 hours, then going home tired, having a beer, and collapsing in bed out of sheer exhaustion, only to restart the process the next morning.
Since neither of these lifestyles were particularly appealing to me, I made the promise to myself that I would never let my own life reach such a point of repetition and perpetual tedium. Especially being so fresh out of college, a time when I thoroughly enjoyed a most "unroutine" lifestyle, few things worried me more than getting sucked into a job and a life that was anything close to resembling a routine.
It's now been more than a year since that time, and as I stop to evaulate my current life, I'd have to say that it's a lot different than what I thought I wanted my life to be, based upon last year's standards. Despite consciously trying to avoid turning my life into a routine, I've found that a great deal of what I do every day has nevertheless become exactly that which I originally feared.
From Monday to Friday, my alarm wakes me up at the same time every morning, and I go to sleep at pretty much the same time every night too. I eat the same cereal for breakfast, and basically the same sandwich, chips, and juice for lunch. I shower at the same time, check people's blogs and other websites in pretty much the same order, and I'm even finding myself watching the same TV shows on certain nights of the week, something I never used to do. Even my weekends seem to have some set schedule these days. Saturday, sleep in and go home to Darien in the afternoon, then hang out with friends and/or Olivia. And then Sundays have strictly been a combination of church, football, and cards.
Now, without going through every single detail of my daily schedule, let's just say that it's all a far cry from the days at U of I. Even when I had classes every morning, I always considered waking up for them to be purely optional on my part (in hindsight, not a great policy). I'd eat an average of 1-2 meals a day, if that, and they usually consisted of either Ramen, frozen pizza, or Rice Garden. I'd go to sleep and wake up at any given time, weekdays or weekends regardless. And I rarely watched much TV other than late night Sportscenter reruns or MTV After Hours/Dawn Patrol.
As I've said before, and I'm sure most of my friends would agree, it was this exact characteristic of unpredictability and freedom that made college such a great time. I know that I will always miss those days when the concepts of "schedule" and "routine" seemed as foreign as Chinese TPS reports (don't ask me what that is supposed to mean, I don't know).
But as much as my habits and lifestyle have moved away from the old college ways, I'm surprised to find that I'm not as bothered or worried about this as I originally thought I would be. In fact, I think I'm actually subconsciously starting to crave more routine in my current life. Part of it is, there's a certain comfort in waking up and knowing that there's nothing I'm going to encounter today, that I haven't already encountered and gotten through plenty of times already in the past. Not that every day is exactly the same for me, and I still do face new things all the time. But following a good routine just seems to make life easier, less stressful, and a lot more productive overall. And that is definitely a good thing in my book.
I guess living within the guidelines of my routine means that the days of chaotic college life will be officially left behind. In a way, it does make me sad to let go of all the spontaneity and lack of boundaries that I enjoyed so much. It means there won't be nearly as many wacky stories with me pulling allnighters, sleeping for 16 hours straight on Chras's bed, playing Starcraft or shooting pool instead of studying for a final, or going to class the morning after your 21st birthday. But, it also means that I won't be constantly "learning the hard way" what it's like to work a long 8 hour day after making some unwise decisions the night before. And you know what? I think I'm getting older and mature enough to the point where I'm willing to give up the crazy experiences and the highs and lows for some good old consistency and steadiness in my life.
Of course, I think from my point of view, I can consider my routine lifestyle to be a positive thing largely because it is mostly by my own voluntary choice. I'm still quite wary of ever unwittingly becoming a "slave to routine", and I do believe that if I had my daily schedule imposed on me, my thoughts on the whole thing would be much different. I mean, it's not as if I'm like that guy in Office Space who is forced into a rut by the demands of his job and everything around me. Nor am I the nursing home grandpa, whose habits have become so ingrained through years of repetition that they have formed an unending and unbreakable cycle. Well, not yet, at least.
Maybe it's all a matter of perspective, but I really don't mind living a semi-repetitive life, as long as I feel like I'm still in control and I'm still happy doing what I do. Even if it makes me dull or boring, and people call me "old man" for always having to go home by 11 or earlier, I'm fine with that. Like I said before, I'm getting too old to always be having to recover from the results of my own poor judgement. After all, I'm a boring guy anyways, so hey, I might as well just accept that fact and make the most out of it by getting enough sleep and living healthier while I'm at it, right?
*****
Yesterday I "got in the zone" for $9.88 at Target (that means I bought the new Britney Spears album). I didn't realize Target sold CD's that cheap, I've been getting ripped off at Best Buy all this time!
Anyways, I've only listened to the first 6 or 7 tracks, but so far I'm liking this CD. I was kind of expecting it to suck, after the stuff I've been seeing and hearing on the MTV and ABC specials, and also her song with Madonna blows. But, I'm pretty impressed with the sound and style of the rest of the songs I'm hearing. I'm glad it's not as overtly raunchy as the media has been saying, but it does remind me somewhat of Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope in its edgy qualities. Up to this point, I definitely like this album better than the last CD, which had way too much of the Neptunes influence in my opinion (I never really got into the Neptunes, I thought they were grossly overrated and I still don't like Pharrell's stuff, but I'm sure others will disagree). So yeah, those are my thoughts on the first half of the album, hopefully the second half will not disappoint.
*****
My mom and dad are celebrating their 25th anniversary today. In typical fobby Chinese fashion, they are choosing to commemorate this occasion by inviting me to eat with them at Todai.
I don't know how it is in other families, but having grown up under my parents and watching them go through all the tough times of life, I know that making their marriage last 25 years is no small accomplishment. I feel really lucky and happy to see them reach this point. I know my sister can attest to seeing the many times when everything seemed like it was so close to falling apart or blowing up, but somehow everything stuck together through it all.
For me personally, in this age when divorced and separated couple are more common than those that stay married, seeing my own parents make their marriage work for 25 years really gives me a reason to believe and have faith that I myself can someday get married and make it last too.
Monday, November 17, 2003
- Work has been about as close to "nonstop" as I can imagine since early last week. I'm so happy that next week is Thanksgiving, I could really use a couple days off. I'm also jealous of my sis and all the other U of I kids that get a whole week off, but that's another story.
- Happy birthday to the Goods. Glad to see you and all the whiteys, plus Rod at B-corn on Saturday.
- I am up by 1 pt against Chras going into Monday Night Football. Terrell Owens goes for me, Thai Streets goes for him. I will definitely be watching the game closely tonight, while occasionally checking "Average Joe".
- Over the weekend I finally saw Finding Nemo. It was pretty good, but I still think "Little Mermaid" is the best movie that takes place "under the sea". Even so, I liked a lot of things about this movie. For some reason, the seagulls in this movie were my favorite part. I guess I just thought it was hilarious the way they kept making annoying noises. Also, should I be worried that Olivia kept raving about how awesome Ellen Degeneres was, as the voice of that fish who had no short-term memory? Hmmm.....
- Happy birthday to the Goods. Glad to see you and all the whiteys, plus Rod at B-corn on Saturday.
- I am up by 1 pt against Chras going into Monday Night Football. Terrell Owens goes for me, Thai Streets goes for him. I will definitely be watching the game closely tonight, while occasionally checking "Average Joe".
- Over the weekend I finally saw Finding Nemo. It was pretty good, but I still think "Little Mermaid" is the best movie that takes place "under the sea". Even so, I liked a lot of things about this movie. For some reason, the seagulls in this movie were my favorite part. I guess I just thought it was hilarious the way they kept making annoying noises. Also, should I be worried that Olivia kept raving about how awesome Ellen Degeneres was, as the voice of that fish who had no short-term memory? Hmmm.....
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Misc
- FINALLY, my fantasy football team got a win against Dave Chan. Even though I was up by 18 with Ahman and Bubba going in MNF against no one on his team, I wanted to wait until it was official before celebrating. I have to admit, I was a tiny bit scared when Ahman kept coughing the ball up in the 1st quarter last night, but good thing my whole team stepped up this week. Not even Steve Bartman could mess this one up.
- My sister has informed me that my screen name on her buddy list has a weird icon next to it when she signs on using AOL.com. She sent me a screenshot to show me, and it looks like this little puddle with a drop of water falling in it. Neither of us have seen that icon before, and we can't figure out what it's supposed to mean. Anyone out there with any ideas about what it is, why it only shows up next to my name and only my name, and why it never showed up until now?
- I helped Olivia move into a new condo over the weekend, and something about seeing her empty place and setting up all her stuff really made me want to buy my own house sometime soon. I think I will write more about this in the near future, my thoughts on eventually becoming a homeowner.
- The show "Average Joe" on NBC intrigues me. So far I have watched the first 2 episodes, and I don't know how to feel about it. The guys are all such tools, which makes for lots of funny situations, but then it gets a little uncomfortable at times too, cause you have to kind of feel sorry for them at some point. Then the girl, I feel bad for her too, but then I don't, because she is full of that "beauty is from within" and "looks don't matter" crap that all girls like to say but very few truly believe. I guess now is her chance to finally prove that she means what she says. Well, even though the show isn't that great, I think I will continue watching as long as it doesn't get canceled, at least to the point where they introduce the "new twist" that will supposedly change the entire game.
- FINALLY, my fantasy football team got a win against Dave Chan. Even though I was up by 18 with Ahman and Bubba going in MNF against no one on his team, I wanted to wait until it was official before celebrating. I have to admit, I was a tiny bit scared when Ahman kept coughing the ball up in the 1st quarter last night, but good thing my whole team stepped up this week. Not even Steve Bartman could mess this one up.
- My sister has informed me that my screen name on her buddy list has a weird icon next to it when she signs on using AOL.com. She sent me a screenshot to show me, and it looks like this little puddle with a drop of water falling in it. Neither of us have seen that icon before, and we can't figure out what it's supposed to mean. Anyone out there with any ideas about what it is, why it only shows up next to my name and only my name, and why it never showed up until now?
- I helped Olivia move into a new condo over the weekend, and something about seeing her empty place and setting up all her stuff really made me want to buy my own house sometime soon. I think I will write more about this in the near future, my thoughts on eventually becoming a homeowner.
- The show "Average Joe" on NBC intrigues me. So far I have watched the first 2 episodes, and I don't know how to feel about it. The guys are all such tools, which makes for lots of funny situations, but then it gets a little uncomfortable at times too, cause you have to kind of feel sorry for them at some point. Then the girl, I feel bad for her too, but then I don't, because she is full of that "beauty is from within" and "looks don't matter" crap that all girls like to say but very few truly believe. I guess now is her chance to finally prove that she means what she says. Well, even though the show isn't that great, I think I will continue watching as long as it doesn't get canceled, at least to the point where they introduce the "new twist" that will supposedly change the entire game.
Friday, November 07, 2003
Top 10 Girls
I've made a bunch of lists in the past on my blog, covering a wide range of topics, but one major list I haven't posted is my top 10 hottest chicks. The main reason is, the list fluctuates a lot, and also, there's so many pretty ladies it's hard to narrow it down to just 10, without leaving someone out or forgetting someone. I probably sound like Ross in that one episode of Friends when he meets that one European celebrity after booting her off his list. But anyways, the comments in my last blog inspired me to finally buckle down, commit to a current list and post it for reference.
* Disclaimer: It might make me look superficial to be doing this, but please do not take this list too seriously and bash me for objectifying women.
10. Jennifer Aniston - I think I might be weird in this way, but there's a special place in my heart for nice female arms, and she has nice arms. Oh, her face and the rest of her body aren't too shabby either.
9. Heidi Klum - I like rosy cheeks too. Maybe it's just how she does her makeup, but in my view, that is the main characteristic that sets her apart from the others on this list.
8. Beyonce - Recently moved into the top 10. Before, I didn't think I was ready for that jelly, her body was so bootylicious.
7. Jennifer Lopez - Annoying as hell, but you gotta admit that she's top 10 worthy.
6. Aaliyah - Wasn't sure if I should include her, considering she's not even alive anymore, but I was always a huge admirer. Perhaps if she didn't die in the plane crash, she would be top 5. I don't know how the rules of my own list work.
5. Leann Tweeden - I don't know where she came from, but mostly I just see her hosting this one show on Fox Sports for extreme sports or something. I'm surprised she isn't on more guys' lists, cause she is definitely good.
4. Kristin Kreuk - She makes me want to watch Smallville and buy Neutrogena. However, I still don't do either. Sorry Kristin.
3. Posh Spice - Two words: SPICE-AY
2. Jessica Alba - Hmmm... looking at my top 10, I notice that 3 are married and one is dead. Yet, this has zero impact on the odds of me ever getting to date any of them.
1. Macy Gray - She's tasty and smokin fine!! Just kidding, again. That joke will get old eventually. Anyways, I'm sure you all knew all along the real #1 was gonna be...
1. Britney Spears - No doubt about this one. She has been #1 unofficially for the past 5 years or so. She's got that something, what can I do? By the way, check out the following site, it is intriguing and somewhat unsettling at the same time: http://mirrored.flabber.nl/britney.lookalike
*****
One thing about the list, there are noticably no Asians included, even though I have seen more than a few good looking yellow celebrities from my time spent across the Pacific that would have easily made my list. The reason I didn't list them is because 1) I don't know their names and 2) Nobody would know who I was talking about anyways.
It makes me sad that there are basically no truly good looking Asian chicks in American culture, because I have an Asian fetish. har har. Seriously though, the only one everyone always says is Lucy Liu, is that the best you can do? I guess she's not entirely horrible, especially compared to the other poor showings like Suchin Pak, Kristi Yamaguchi, and Lisa Ling (ruff ruff!), but I don't see how you could consider her to be pretty. Eyes way too chinky for my taste, among other things. She does salvage some points for being a fellow freckled Asian like me, but that is relatively minor.
So come on, Asia, where you at? I know you got more talent than what we're seeing over here. For starters, it's common knowledge that Taiwan alone is stocked to the core with the most beautiful people in the world, but we're just talking a tiny island here, out of an entire continent. What about Korea, I know there's more good old fashioned hotness like Hyori from Fin.K.L or Kim Hee Sun out there. Sung Hi Lee is a start, but a little too slutty. For whatever reason, Asia's just not representing all of its best over here, what can you do?
*****
At least Illinois and Arizona college basketball fans have one thing in common: we all hate Duke. The latest reason being high school recruit Shaun Livingston's decision to choose Duke over Illinois and Arizona. I've been requested by a certain Wildcats fan to relay the following message in my blog: "Livingston is a turd".
*****
Triumph the Insult Dog has an album now, called "Come Poop With Me". His first single is "I Keed" and it is pretty funny. I think I will have to pick up a copy of the CD sometime soon. For more, see http://www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com
I've made a bunch of lists in the past on my blog, covering a wide range of topics, but one major list I haven't posted is my top 10 hottest chicks. The main reason is, the list fluctuates a lot, and also, there's so many pretty ladies it's hard to narrow it down to just 10, without leaving someone out or forgetting someone. I probably sound like Ross in that one episode of Friends when he meets that one European celebrity after booting her off his list. But anyways, the comments in my last blog inspired me to finally buckle down, commit to a current list and post it for reference.
* Disclaimer: It might make me look superficial to be doing this, but please do not take this list too seriously and bash me for objectifying women.
10. Jennifer Aniston - I think I might be weird in this way, but there's a special place in my heart for nice female arms, and she has nice arms. Oh, her face and the rest of her body aren't too shabby either.
9. Heidi Klum - I like rosy cheeks too. Maybe it's just how she does her makeup, but in my view, that is the main characteristic that sets her apart from the others on this list.
8. Beyonce - Recently moved into the top 10. Before, I didn't think I was ready for that jelly, her body was so bootylicious.
7. Jennifer Lopez - Annoying as hell, but you gotta admit that she's top 10 worthy.
6. Aaliyah - Wasn't sure if I should include her, considering she's not even alive anymore, but I was always a huge admirer. Perhaps if she didn't die in the plane crash, she would be top 5. I don't know how the rules of my own list work.
5. Leann Tweeden - I don't know where she came from, but mostly I just see her hosting this one show on Fox Sports for extreme sports or something. I'm surprised she isn't on more guys' lists, cause she is definitely good.
4. Kristin Kreuk - She makes me want to watch Smallville and buy Neutrogena. However, I still don't do either. Sorry Kristin.
3. Posh Spice - Two words: SPICE-AY
2. Jessica Alba - Hmmm... looking at my top 10, I notice that 3 are married and one is dead. Yet, this has zero impact on the odds of me ever getting to date any of them.
1. Macy Gray - She's tasty and smokin fine!! Just kidding, again. That joke will get old eventually. Anyways, I'm sure you all knew all along the real #1 was gonna be...
1. Britney Spears - No doubt about this one. She has been #1 unofficially for the past 5 years or so. She's got that something, what can I do? By the way, check out the following site, it is intriguing and somewhat unsettling at the same time: http://mirrored.flabber.nl/britney.lookalike
*****
One thing about the list, there are noticably no Asians included, even though I have seen more than a few good looking yellow celebrities from my time spent across the Pacific that would have easily made my list. The reason I didn't list them is because 1) I don't know their names and 2) Nobody would know who I was talking about anyways.
It makes me sad that there are basically no truly good looking Asian chicks in American culture, because I have an Asian fetish. har har. Seriously though, the only one everyone always says is Lucy Liu, is that the best you can do? I guess she's not entirely horrible, especially compared to the other poor showings like Suchin Pak, Kristi Yamaguchi, and Lisa Ling (ruff ruff!), but I don't see how you could consider her to be pretty. Eyes way too chinky for my taste, among other things. She does salvage some points for being a fellow freckled Asian like me, but that is relatively minor.
So come on, Asia, where you at? I know you got more talent than what we're seeing over here. For starters, it's common knowledge that Taiwan alone is stocked to the core with the most beautiful people in the world, but we're just talking a tiny island here, out of an entire continent. What about Korea, I know there's more good old fashioned hotness like Hyori from Fin.K.L or Kim Hee Sun out there. Sung Hi Lee is a start, but a little too slutty. For whatever reason, Asia's just not representing all of its best over here, what can you do?
*****
At least Illinois and Arizona college basketball fans have one thing in common: we all hate Duke. The latest reason being high school recruit Shaun Livingston's decision to choose Duke over Illinois and Arizona. I've been requested by a certain Wildcats fan to relay the following message in my blog: "Livingston is a turd".
*****
Triumph the Insult Dog has an album now, called "Come Poop With Me". His first single is "I Keed" and it is pretty funny. I think I will have to pick up a copy of the CD sometime soon. For more, see http://www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Thoughts of a Old Home Video Watcher, and more
- Over the weekend when I was home in Darien, my family was watching some old home videos from the year we lived in Taiwan (1995). It really is amazing to see how much has changed in the past 8 or 9 years of my life. Physically, I was a 5 foot tall boy with a high voice and these huge nerdy glasses. It was my freshman year of high school at Taipei American School (TAS), and I was taking classes like Japanese 1 and Introduction to Computer Programming with Quick BASIC 4.5, taught by Mr. Paulson. In my free time, I would take the bus to the area in Taipei where all the pirated computer stuff was being sold at the time and hang out there, or go to the arcade and play Daytona USA for hours. I lived in this tiny room with no more than a desk, closet, bed, and computer, with my only source of entertainment being a mini basketball hoop. Now that I think about it, I still live in a tiny room with just a desk, closet, bed, and computer. The only thing is, I have no mini-basketball hoop, but I do have a TV.
Meanwhile, my sister was this bratty but interesting little kid, who liked to sing the jingle from the Taiwanese commercial for Juicy Fruit gum (OK I'll admit, I liked to sing it too). She was always getting yelled at by my mom for everything from not studying enough to eating too much junk food. I remember she even used to get yelled at because my mom didn't like her wasting time twirling her pen. Also, she was obsessed with Mariah Carey and had a crush on a guy named Mark at school.
Anyways, enough about that, I'm sure nobody cares to read about more of my old experiences. But I do wish that I had kept a blog or journal from back then, that I could go back and read about life through the eyes of 15-year old Joe. Hopefully, this blog I'm writing in right now will last for a long time, and I'll be able to someday come back and read about life through the eyes of 23-year old Joe.
- Another thought that struck me after watching the old videos was, how long time seemed to drag on back then. It was only about one year I lived in Taiwan, but I remember it as feeling like forever. Now, I've been at this company for over a year, and it honestly feels like the year passed in no more than the blink of an eye. When we first moved back, we had to stay at the house of our family friends for one semester school until we bought a place of our own. That also felt like a really long time, but semesters seemed to just fly by in college. Then I see the people here at work who are celebrating like 40 years of service, and I wonder if those 40 years felt like 40 years. Like, can they go back and identify any individual year and talk about what was so special about each year? Or does it all run together like one big blurry chunk of life experience?
I mean, most of us at this age can look back and pretty clearly define the different stages throughout their lives in 2-3 year blocks of time. Such as going through puberty, being a high school underclassman, when you wore braces, the rebellious stage, the awkward stage, etc. I know I could probably pretty easily tell you about each stage of my life in pretty good detail. But, how are we going to define the next 40 years of our lives? Will our 2-3 year long stages be stretched out to 5-10 year divisions? Is it simply going to be "twenty-something", then "thirty-something", and so on? And other than scattered big events that happen only once every few years, like getting married and having kids, changing jobs and moving, or retirement, what is actually going to distinguish one year from the next, during the rest of our lives?
- This morning while eating my daily cereal, I watched some of Star Wars Episode 2 which was showing on HBO. It reminded me of how terrible that kid is who plays Anakin Skywalker. Not that the acting in the originals was that great ("But I wanted to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters!!"), but how do you pair up the glorious Natalie Portman with that chump? It's just wrong...
- We should play football sometime soon. I probably can't this Saturday, but hopefully we'll be able to figure out a time that works for people in the near future, because I'm getting out of shape and I feel like playing. If anyone wants to get people together, feel free to do so, otherwise, you can all just let me know when would be a good day and I can try to set up a game. It should be easier than organizing softball, because we don't need as many people and equipment. So let's do it.
- Over the weekend when I was home in Darien, my family was watching some old home videos from the year we lived in Taiwan (1995). It really is amazing to see how much has changed in the past 8 or 9 years of my life. Physically, I was a 5 foot tall boy with a high voice and these huge nerdy glasses. It was my freshman year of high school at Taipei American School (TAS), and I was taking classes like Japanese 1 and Introduction to Computer Programming with Quick BASIC 4.5, taught by Mr. Paulson. In my free time, I would take the bus to the area in Taipei where all the pirated computer stuff was being sold at the time and hang out there, or go to the arcade and play Daytona USA for hours. I lived in this tiny room with no more than a desk, closet, bed, and computer, with my only source of entertainment being a mini basketball hoop. Now that I think about it, I still live in a tiny room with just a desk, closet, bed, and computer. The only thing is, I have no mini-basketball hoop, but I do have a TV.
Meanwhile, my sister was this bratty but interesting little kid, who liked to sing the jingle from the Taiwanese commercial for Juicy Fruit gum (OK I'll admit, I liked to sing it too). She was always getting yelled at by my mom for everything from not studying enough to eating too much junk food. I remember she even used to get yelled at because my mom didn't like her wasting time twirling her pen. Also, she was obsessed with Mariah Carey and had a crush on a guy named Mark at school.
Anyways, enough about that, I'm sure nobody cares to read about more of my old experiences. But I do wish that I had kept a blog or journal from back then, that I could go back and read about life through the eyes of 15-year old Joe. Hopefully, this blog I'm writing in right now will last for a long time, and I'll be able to someday come back and read about life through the eyes of 23-year old Joe.
- Another thought that struck me after watching the old videos was, how long time seemed to drag on back then. It was only about one year I lived in Taiwan, but I remember it as feeling like forever. Now, I've been at this company for over a year, and it honestly feels like the year passed in no more than the blink of an eye. When we first moved back, we had to stay at the house of our family friends for one semester school until we bought a place of our own. That also felt like a really long time, but semesters seemed to just fly by in college. Then I see the people here at work who are celebrating like 40 years of service, and I wonder if those 40 years felt like 40 years. Like, can they go back and identify any individual year and talk about what was so special about each year? Or does it all run together like one big blurry chunk of life experience?
I mean, most of us at this age can look back and pretty clearly define the different stages throughout their lives in 2-3 year blocks of time. Such as going through puberty, being a high school underclassman, when you wore braces, the rebellious stage, the awkward stage, etc. I know I could probably pretty easily tell you about each stage of my life in pretty good detail. But, how are we going to define the next 40 years of our lives? Will our 2-3 year long stages be stretched out to 5-10 year divisions? Is it simply going to be "twenty-something", then "thirty-something", and so on? And other than scattered big events that happen only once every few years, like getting married and having kids, changing jobs and moving, or retirement, what is actually going to distinguish one year from the next, during the rest of our lives?
- This morning while eating my daily cereal, I watched some of Star Wars Episode 2 which was showing on HBO. It reminded me of how terrible that kid is who plays Anakin Skywalker. Not that the acting in the originals was that great ("But I wanted to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters!!"), but how do you pair up the glorious Natalie Portman with that chump? It's just wrong...
- We should play football sometime soon. I probably can't this Saturday, but hopefully we'll be able to figure out a time that works for people in the near future, because I'm getting out of shape and I feel like playing. If anyone wants to get people together, feel free to do so, otherwise, you can all just let me know when would be a good day and I can try to set up a game. It should be easier than organizing softball, because we don't need as many people and equipment. So let's do it.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Fantasy Football Talk
It has now been about 2 months since my most recent loss (in a long string of losses) to Dave Chan in fantasy football. My all-time record against him stands at 0-8. Nevertheless, as our next matchup approaches this coming Sunday, I remain hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this will finally be the week that I break the curse. Also, not that beating Dave isn't important enough in itself, but the fantasy implications are big for me too. A win would put my team in a tie for 3rd and keep my season's hopes alive. A loss, probably put me in 7th and out of any realistic shot at contending for this year. Not to mention, I gotta wait until next season for another shot at breaking the curse. GO DUDALISKS! DON'T SEND ME HOME CRYING YET AGAIN!
Decision time (need to pick 4 of the following):
Santana Moss (@Oak)
Andre Johnson (@Cin)
T.J. Duckett (@NYG)
Olandis Gary (Chi)
Moe Williams (@SD)
Darrell Jackson (@Was)
Rod Gardner (Sea)
Justin Gage (@Det)
My thoughts on the situation:
I'm pretty sure I'll start Santana Moss, based on his performance and the BET factor. The Moe Williams story is a little bit spicy because Michael Bennett is being phased back from his injury, and Dave happens to be starting him against me. So, I could either start Moe and hope for some "kick in the balls" factor if he steals goal-line TDs from Bennett, or just avoid gambling on the situation and start someone else. Considering all the bad luck I've had in the past matchups, I'm leaning towards the latter.
Olandis and Gage are probably the weakest starts of that list, but I'm tempted to start them so I can watch my players on the local Bears game broadcast. I figure, if my players are gonna suck, I might as well watch them suck and be able throw stuff at the TV in anger. Also, I like Justin Gage's name. "Enemy approaching... what are your orders, General?" "Just In-Gage!!" harharhar
Other than that, I think Andre's Johnsons, T.J. Suckett, D-Jax, and Prod Gardner are pretty much a toss up. I'll probably end up making my decision by picking 4 names out of a hat. Seriously.
I might have to make a decision on my 3 defense guys too:
Brian Urlacher (@Det)
Roy Williams (Buf)
Ken Hamlin (@Was)
Derrick Brooks (Car)
Simeon Rice (Car)
I used to think Urlacher was a must-start, but he hasn't done jack for me this year. Too busy making crappy commercials, wearing his orange shoes, and dating Paris Hilton, I guess. How do you sleep at night, Brian, knowing that you are letting me down? "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies"
Realistically, I will probably still start Urlacher, even with his mediocre play this season and knowing that he always gets owned by Cory Schlesinger. Roy will also probably start, and Hamlin is pretty much a non-factor at this point. So that leaves Derrick and Simeon Rice for the last spot. Derrick should get more tackles and would add another "kick in the balls" factor against Dave, with the McNown league history and all. But then again, Simeon Rice went to Playa University. The guy is averaging about a sack per game, and might be ready to bust out with some more big plays this week.
It has now been about 2 months since my most recent loss (in a long string of losses) to Dave Chan in fantasy football. My all-time record against him stands at 0-8. Nevertheless, as our next matchup approaches this coming Sunday, I remain hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this will finally be the week that I break the curse. Also, not that beating Dave isn't important enough in itself, but the fantasy implications are big for me too. A win would put my team in a tie for 3rd and keep my season's hopes alive. A loss, probably put me in 7th and out of any realistic shot at contending for this year. Not to mention, I gotta wait until next season for another shot at breaking the curse. GO DUDALISKS! DON'T SEND ME HOME CRYING YET AGAIN!
Decision time (need to pick 4 of the following):
Santana Moss (@Oak)
Andre Johnson (@Cin)
T.J. Duckett (@NYG)
Olandis Gary (Chi)
Moe Williams (@SD)
Darrell Jackson (@Was)
Rod Gardner (Sea)
Justin Gage (@Det)
My thoughts on the situation:
I'm pretty sure I'll start Santana Moss, based on his performance and the BET factor. The Moe Williams story is a little bit spicy because Michael Bennett is being phased back from his injury, and Dave happens to be starting him against me. So, I could either start Moe and hope for some "kick in the balls" factor if he steals goal-line TDs from Bennett, or just avoid gambling on the situation and start someone else. Considering all the bad luck I've had in the past matchups, I'm leaning towards the latter.
Olandis and Gage are probably the weakest starts of that list, but I'm tempted to start them so I can watch my players on the local Bears game broadcast. I figure, if my players are gonna suck, I might as well watch them suck and be able throw stuff at the TV in anger. Also, I like Justin Gage's name. "Enemy approaching... what are your orders, General?" "Just In-Gage!!" harharhar
Other than that, I think Andre's Johnsons, T.J. Suckett, D-Jax, and Prod Gardner are pretty much a toss up. I'll probably end up making my decision by picking 4 names out of a hat. Seriously.
I might have to make a decision on my 3 defense guys too:
Brian Urlacher (@Det)
Roy Williams (Buf)
Ken Hamlin (@Was)
Derrick Brooks (Car)
Simeon Rice (Car)
I used to think Urlacher was a must-start, but he hasn't done jack for me this year. Too busy making crappy commercials, wearing his orange shoes, and dating Paris Hilton, I guess. How do you sleep at night, Brian, knowing that you are letting me down? "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies"
Realistically, I will probably still start Urlacher, even with his mediocre play this season and knowing that he always gets owned by Cory Schlesinger. Roy will also probably start, and Hamlin is pretty much a non-factor at this point. So that leaves Derrick and Simeon Rice for the last spot. Derrick should get more tackles and would add another "kick in the balls" factor against Dave, with the McNown league history and all. But then again, Simeon Rice went to Playa University. The guy is averaging about a sack per game, and might be ready to bust out with some more big plays this week.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Top: First pair of glasses I ever had. Large, plastic, nerdy, but durable
Middle: Forgot to mention this pair in my original blog, but Piya's basketball story reminded me. Notice one side is broken off and there is a big blob of superglue that was obviously not enough to keep it connected to the rest.
Bottom: The soldered pair I talked about, broke at the bridge.
It was Olivia's bday on Friday and I have a couple people to thank for helping me out. First, thanks to Vira for going with me to get her gift a few weeks ago. I hate shopping alone and I have bad taste in picking out stuff so I appreciate it a lot. Second, thanks to Dennis for consulting his local "food people connections" to recommend a restaurant. We ended up going to Chicago Prime Steakhouse in Schaumburg and it was pretty good, I'd recommend it to anyone who likes steak. The filet mignon (Olivia's order) seemed to be a little better than the prime (mine), but both were satisfying.
Anyways, I told Olivia that she should be nice to all of my friends, if for no other reason than the fact that they are the ones who end up choosing what she gets for her birthdays, Christmas, etc., and stuff like that.
I was listening to the radio one time and someone was saying that guys should never get on their girlfriend's friends' bad sides. Because, when she goes out with her friends, they are the ones who will either keep her in check and loyal to you, or encourage her to dance and flirt with other guys. I guess I never thought about it much in that way, but it seems to make sense. Note to self: don't piss off girlfriend's friends.
Happy birthday wishes also go to Piya, Linda, and anyone else I might be missing. Dang, we're all getting so old. People buying houses and getting married and everything.
I think the best meal I have ever had (hopefully my mom doesn't read my blog) was a couple months ago at Bob Chinn's, with a steak and crab leg combo. The main reason it was so good is because I was so hungry beforehand, and it filled me up to the point where I was full enough, but not miserable, Yen-ching buffet style full.
For Halloween, I bought a couple bags of candy to give out to trick-or-treaters. Only about 2 groups of kids came to trick-or-treat at the townhouse, so if anyone likes Nerds or Butterfinger BB's, come on out to Palatine and get some. I'll even give you two, if you have a cool costume.
My brain is especially scattered on this Monday morning, hence the preceding part of this blog was not very good or organized. I'm gonna post something I wrote in more clear-headed moments, a collection of my major thoughts on friendship. It's an important subject, of course, as there are few things more valuable in life than having good friends. I started writing down these things a long time ago, and then added stuff once in a while whenever I thought of something to add. I don't know that it captures all my thoughts completely, but I think it's about as close to complete as it will ever be, so here it is.
*****
Expectations Of Friends
I think one area of my life where I've always had low expectations is friends. Basically, as long as we have some things in common, can carry a good conversation and have a good time hanging out together, then I'll be more than happy to have you as a friend.
The fact is, I don't need my friends to buy me gifts or do stuff on my birthday. I don't expect them to listen to me talk about my problems and be supportive (I'm not a woman, anyways). I don't expect them to put me ahead of their girlfriends/boyfriends to chill with me all the time. If I see a friend every day, or once a year, I consider them a good friend either way.
If we go out to eat, and you shortchange me on the bill once in a while, I usually don't sweat it. If we go out a lot, and you never buy me a drink, that's fine too. If you leave the bar without saying bye to me, I won't cry. If you don't return my email, my voicemail, or ignore me on IM, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt 90% of the time. I rarely worry about the little things. And if you need a favor, I'll always try my best to be there to drive you to the airport, loan you $20, or help you move out, without ever expecting anything in return.
As I make myself sound like a god, I really have to say that overall, I don't think it's hard at all to be friends with me. I have pretty low expectations, and honestly, if you happen to exceed any of the things I mentioned above (as most of my friends do), I always appreciate it that much more, and I consider it a bonus. So I'd say that as a result, I've been happy with pretty much all of my friendships, past and present.
However, I can't say that I have no expectations of my friends at all. There are still things that do bother me, and I take them seriously. For example, if you act fake towards me, I'll spot it right away and it will annoy the hell out of me. There's not a lot of things I hate more than people who aren't real with themselves and with me. The way I see it, a fake smile is worse than no smile at all. An insincere handshake is so insulting. And acting one way in front of some people, and a completely different way in front of others, that's pretty shady too.
If you talk behind my back, or talk about my friends behind their backs, tread carefully. The thing is, I can actually tolerate a little of that stuff, to some point. It's understood that everyone likes to spread some harmless gossip or complain about their friends once in a while, even though I try to avoid doing that stuff myself. But there is a line between what is harmless and what is not. If you let the unnecessary talking get out of hand, you will lose me as a friend.
If you have a problem with me, you should just tell it to my face. If it's unresolvable and we can't be friends, then the friendship wasn't worth it anyways. I'd rather have no friend at all, than one who just acts like they are my friend. Don't be a pussy and only talk smack to other people, what is that supposed to accomplish?
If I happen to "diss" you for whatever reason when you ask me to hang out, don't give me a hard time about it. That's just annoying. Because I don't make you feel bad when you tell me "no". Like I said before, I wouldn't take it personally if you chose to hang out with your gf/bf instead of me, or had other plans already. Or if you were too tired to do anything. Or you were just in a bad mood. Or it was just inconvenient. So what right do you have to get pissy if it was me in those situations? The answer is: none whatsoever.
If you are extremely selfish and/or self-centered, I can only handle that kind of attitude to a certain point. When you turn every little thing into a huge drama, you need to chill and get over yourself. It's time to realize that no, the world does not revolve around you and it's stupid to take every single thing personally. When something doesn't go your way, it doesn't mean the world is against you.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm not directing these thoughts to any one individual. Hopefully no one gets "med-student syndrome" and automatically starts thinking that all these things apply to them. It's mainly a collection of thoughts I've gathered from either personal experience or observing other people's lives. Mostly, I wanted to think seriously for a moment about what is important to me in friendships and what is not, and write it down somewhere.
And I know I'm not a perfect friend myself, but if anyone spots any of these things in me, do let me know so I can try to change. Because anything I expect out of my friends, I should expect just as much out of myself, if not more. And really, that's all I ask of people. Hold yourself to the same set of standards that you hold others to, stricter if at all possible. The world would be such a nicer, friendlier place if people could just do that.
Anyways, I told Olivia that she should be nice to all of my friends, if for no other reason than the fact that they are the ones who end up choosing what she gets for her birthdays, Christmas, etc., and stuff like that.
I was listening to the radio one time and someone was saying that guys should never get on their girlfriend's friends' bad sides. Because, when she goes out with her friends, they are the ones who will either keep her in check and loyal to you, or encourage her to dance and flirt with other guys. I guess I never thought about it much in that way, but it seems to make sense. Note to self: don't piss off girlfriend's friends.
Happy birthday wishes also go to Piya, Linda, and anyone else I might be missing. Dang, we're all getting so old. People buying houses and getting married and everything.
I think the best meal I have ever had (hopefully my mom doesn't read my blog) was a couple months ago at Bob Chinn's, with a steak and crab leg combo. The main reason it was so good is because I was so hungry beforehand, and it filled me up to the point where I was full enough, but not miserable, Yen-ching buffet style full.
For Halloween, I bought a couple bags of candy to give out to trick-or-treaters. Only about 2 groups of kids came to trick-or-treat at the townhouse, so if anyone likes Nerds or Butterfinger BB's, come on out to Palatine and get some. I'll even give you two, if you have a cool costume.
My brain is especially scattered on this Monday morning, hence the preceding part of this blog was not very good or organized. I'm gonna post something I wrote in more clear-headed moments, a collection of my major thoughts on friendship. It's an important subject, of course, as there are few things more valuable in life than having good friends. I started writing down these things a long time ago, and then added stuff once in a while whenever I thought of something to add. I don't know that it captures all my thoughts completely, but I think it's about as close to complete as it will ever be, so here it is.
*****
Expectations Of Friends
I think one area of my life where I've always had low expectations is friends. Basically, as long as we have some things in common, can carry a good conversation and have a good time hanging out together, then I'll be more than happy to have you as a friend.
The fact is, I don't need my friends to buy me gifts or do stuff on my birthday. I don't expect them to listen to me talk about my problems and be supportive (I'm not a woman, anyways). I don't expect them to put me ahead of their girlfriends/boyfriends to chill with me all the time. If I see a friend every day, or once a year, I consider them a good friend either way.
If we go out to eat, and you shortchange me on the bill once in a while, I usually don't sweat it. If we go out a lot, and you never buy me a drink, that's fine too. If you leave the bar without saying bye to me, I won't cry. If you don't return my email, my voicemail, or ignore me on IM, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt 90% of the time. I rarely worry about the little things. And if you need a favor, I'll always try my best to be there to drive you to the airport, loan you $20, or help you move out, without ever expecting anything in return.
As I make myself sound like a god, I really have to say that overall, I don't think it's hard at all to be friends with me. I have pretty low expectations, and honestly, if you happen to exceed any of the things I mentioned above (as most of my friends do), I always appreciate it that much more, and I consider it a bonus. So I'd say that as a result, I've been happy with pretty much all of my friendships, past and present.
However, I can't say that I have no expectations of my friends at all. There are still things that do bother me, and I take them seriously. For example, if you act fake towards me, I'll spot it right away and it will annoy the hell out of me. There's not a lot of things I hate more than people who aren't real with themselves and with me. The way I see it, a fake smile is worse than no smile at all. An insincere handshake is so insulting. And acting one way in front of some people, and a completely different way in front of others, that's pretty shady too.
If you talk behind my back, or talk about my friends behind their backs, tread carefully. The thing is, I can actually tolerate a little of that stuff, to some point. It's understood that everyone likes to spread some harmless gossip or complain about their friends once in a while, even though I try to avoid doing that stuff myself. But there is a line between what is harmless and what is not. If you let the unnecessary talking get out of hand, you will lose me as a friend.
If you have a problem with me, you should just tell it to my face. If it's unresolvable and we can't be friends, then the friendship wasn't worth it anyways. I'd rather have no friend at all, than one who just acts like they are my friend. Don't be a pussy and only talk smack to other people, what is that supposed to accomplish?
If I happen to "diss" you for whatever reason when you ask me to hang out, don't give me a hard time about it. That's just annoying. Because I don't make you feel bad when you tell me "no". Like I said before, I wouldn't take it personally if you chose to hang out with your gf/bf instead of me, or had other plans already. Or if you were too tired to do anything. Or you were just in a bad mood. Or it was just inconvenient. So what right do you have to get pissy if it was me in those situations? The answer is: none whatsoever.
If you are extremely selfish and/or self-centered, I can only handle that kind of attitude to a certain point. When you turn every little thing into a huge drama, you need to chill and get over yourself. It's time to realize that no, the world does not revolve around you and it's stupid to take every single thing personally. When something doesn't go your way, it doesn't mean the world is against you.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm not directing these thoughts to any one individual. Hopefully no one gets "med-student syndrome" and automatically starts thinking that all these things apply to them. It's mainly a collection of thoughts I've gathered from either personal experience or observing other people's lives. Mostly, I wanted to think seriously for a moment about what is important to me in friendships and what is not, and write it down somewhere.
And I know I'm not a perfect friend myself, but if anyone spots any of these things in me, do let me know so I can try to change. Because anything I expect out of my friends, I should expect just as much out of myself, if not more. And really, that's all I ask of people. Hold yourself to the same set of standards that you hold others to, stricter if at all possible. The world would be such a nicer, friendlier place if people could just do that.
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